It's no secret around here that Katherine Heigl is an entitled, mouthy cunt, so it was only a matter of time before Hollywood finally caught on. The first crack in America's sweetheart's facade happened 15 months ago, when she took a salary dispute with Grey's Anatomy public, in which she demanded to paid the same as the series' star and exposed herself as a greedy bitch. Now, because she thinks she is a movie star, she is trying to get out of her current contract. However, with failing ratings and several public missteps, Heigl's star may not burning as bright as she might think. New York Daily News reports:

Katherine Heigl was once poised to be TV's biggest crossover star. But have audiences had their fill of the bubbly blond's whiny onscreen persona - and real-life media manipulation? With ratings for "Grey's Anatomy" averaging 14.2 million (last season was 18.7 million), the beefed-up role of Izzy, Heigl's character, is doing little to lift the show....When Heigl hit the red carpet at the Oscars, she was a scarlet-clad, Monroe-channeling knockout who looked utterly at home among A-listers like Kidman, Nicholson and Zellweger. Until she got to the podium. "She pulled a Julia Roberts and made it about her," says Entertainment Weekly's Lynette Rice, referring to Roberts' whoop after Denzel Washington won Best Actor, which eclipsed the man himself. "We don't care if you're nervous, just be professional and read the fricking TelePrompTer."

The article goes on to list some of the crap Heigl has done recently; specifically, her rant claiming that her relationship between with T.R. Knight's character on Grey's Anatomy was a rating ploy, her interview in Vanity Fair where she claimed she didn't like Knocked Up because it was sexist, and the time she humiliated an Emmy announcer for mispronouncing her name. As you read all this, please keep in mind that Heigl has been an actor since 1992, but was working in virtual obscurity until she landed on Grey's Anatomy in 2005. Also remember that she got the part in Knocked Up only after Anne Hathaway passed on the part. She's also managed to convince you that she's a sex symbol even though she looks like this and this. The only thing we have to determine now is if we should use Bengal or Siberian, because throwing this idiot in a pit of tigers seems to be the general consensus.

It's apparently Hot Chicks From The '90s week on IDLYITW, so here's Stephanie Seymour at the Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute Gala in New York earlier this week. The guy next to her is her husband, Peter Brant, and you might want to sit down for this ... he's really, really fucking rich. I know, I know. It's unheard of for a model to marry rich, but I guess that's why Stephanie Seymour is a maverick, my friends. She doesn't play by the rules. Or understand the purpose of a see through dress. Thanks a lot, Stephanie. Instead of pasties you should have just put on frowny faces.


Bonus:


Photos: Splash

The Mingling Mothers, a networking group for Long Island mothers, gave Dina Lohan a "Top Mom" award this week. Take a moment to let that sink in. Dina Lohan got an award for being a good mother. Dina Lohan. Award. In a shocking twist, her ex-husband, Michael Lohan, thinks this might be the dumbest thing he's ever heard. He tells Page Six:

Are you kidding! Top celebrity mom? Look at her off-screen antics, her lack of morals and how she conducts herself. I guess they forgot to mention how this top super-mom leaves her kids alone at night and even parties in their presence. Just wait until we go back to court. "She comes stumbling out of Butter at 3:15 a.m. with bloodshot eyes and a red runny nose, yelling 'Oh, [bleep],' when she saw the paparazzi..."

Lindsay Lohan is broke and washed up at 21, and her 14 year old sister, Ali, looks like a 45 year old bartender, so who better to win this award than Dina Lohan? Stay tuned next week when Myanmar wins the "Top Vacation Spot" award and Roger Clemens is expected to walk away with "Top Husband" honors. Congratulations!

Lindsay and her boyfriend a couple nights ago:

Although they are in the midst of a heated custody battle, sources say Britney Spears and her ex-husband, Kevin Federline, are staying in regular contact. And by "regular contact" I mean "phone sex." Ewww. Star Magazine reports:

Recently, when Britney was having a sleepless night, she decided to call Kevin at nearly 2 a.m. While they initially chatted about their boys - Preston, 2, and Jayden, 20 months - the conversation shifted. And as Britney hoped, Kevin knew exactly how to tire her out - with hours of erotic talk! "They have phone sex often - at least once a week," an insider tells Star. "The one thing those two have in common is their need for sex, and after they get going, there are no holds barred."

I can see how this could take K-Fed a few hours. That new Paula Deen cookbook is pretty thick.

Britney at a recording studio last night:

Eva Mendes is the brown Jennifer Aniston, but at least she tries to mitigate some of the boring by being a raging drunk and taking her top off once in a while. Too bad she fails in this month's Vogue Italia. She looks like a Mexican hooker at a WWII USO dance. Way to stay on the cutting edge, Vogue. You'd have an easier time getting me to jack off to a manila folder or X-ray results.

Most of these are NSFW:


Thanks to topless sniffing dog, Marcus, for sending these in!

Sarah Jessica Parker is heinous and really needs to get off the main page, so here are Alyssa Milano's boobs to help that process along. These are from 1993, so I hope that's not an issue for you. If so, why pressure ourselves? Not everybody likes looking at boobs, we can discuss other things from 1993. In fact, I think the second Strategic Arms Reduction Treaty really worked because it banned the use of ICBMs, which put a premium on striking first. Thoughts?


Thanks to Ray and his creepy Samantha Micelli fetish.

A Columbia University student, Masha Markova, is demanding at least $10,000 from Lindsay Lohan after she claims Lohan stole her $11,000 blond mink coat from a party in January. The New York Post says:

Masha Markova, 22, believed she had forever lost the prized jacket - a gift from her grandmother - while attending a private birthday party at 1Oak in the Meatpacking District in the early-morning hours of Jan. 26. The club was closed for a friend of jet-setting playboy Stavros Niarchos, Markova said. She added that at one point, she was seated next to Lohan, and recalled putting the mink in a common bin with other jackets. It was gone when she prepared to leave 1Oak after an hour, Markova said. Two weeks later, Markova flipped through the Feb. 11 edition of OK! Magazine and couldn't believe her eyes - Lohan was photographed the night of Jan. 26 wearing the very same fur coat...The pretty co-ed said that in the ensuing days, she surfed the Internet and found several paparazzi photos of Lohan wearing the distinctive blond coat hours after the birthday party they had both attended... That's when her immigration lawyer, Merrill Cohen, called Lohan's high-powered Hollywood attorney, Blair Berke, threatening litigation. Hours later, Markova said she heard from 1Oak. "They were very discreet, never mentioned a name or even the word 'coat,' " Markova said. "They just said, 'We're going to bring you something.' " The coat arrived at Markova's Morningside Heights apartment two days later. Reeking of cigarettes and booze with a slight tear in the lining, the fur coat was no worse for wear after a dry cleaning and quick patch-up. Still, she wants answers - and Lohan to own up to swiping her coat. "I don't see how it could have been an accident," Markova said."

Last year, Lindsay Lohan went to model Laura Hastings' house while Hastings was on a photoshoot and Lindsay allegedly stole $10,000 worth of clothing and accessories from her closet. Nine months later she steals a mink coat. A year later, she's still not in jail. Man, I need to live in L.A. That way I can send Brian Austin Green and a block of cement on an undersea adventure. Imagine that, undersea adventure!

Hey look, it's Madonna pretending to make out with a chick at her concert in Paris last night. I bet you've never seen that before. That Madonna, always pushing the envelope. Too bad it's about as sexy as a CAT scan. I just can't seem to shake the feeling that after this kiss Madonna gave this chick a peppermint candy or a shiny new quarter.

Remember Kelly Osbourne? Yeah, she's really fucking drunk. The Sun UK reports:

...Cutting a ghostly figure as she emerged four hours later, Kelly then needed a helping hand from her PA and a wall to find her way to a taxi. A club source said: "She was knocking back the Treasure Chest cocktails all night. No wonder Kerry was looking a little spaced out." Treasure Chests are a potent combination of brandy and peach liqueur topped with a bottle of champagne."

The article says she was drunk and these pictures kinda prove it, so I guess Kelly Osbourne was drunk. Which makes sense, because what the hell else is she gonna do? I'm just glad they explained what a "Treasure Chest" was. Because I was positive I saw one in a German porn one time.

Mischa Barton's cheesy cellulite [Hollywood Rag]
Lindsay Lohan's mom is a Mother of the Year [Dlisted]
Every Simpson's couch gag ever [College Humor]
Lindsay Lohan on Ugly Betty [Just Jared]
Hilary Duff and her questionable cleavage [Hollywood Tuna]
Olsen Twin porn [City Rag]
More Bai Ling bikini pictures (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
Heidi Klum is still in [Popsugar]
Uma Thurman's panty upskirt (NSFW) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Mark Wahlberg has a new movie [Popoholic]
Rihanna gets Photoshopped [Egotastic]
John Travolta's subway heist costume [ASL]

Penelope Cruz at the beach:

Star Magazine has exclusively learned that when Angelina Jolie gives birth in July, it will be to twin daughters. So look up when you get a chance. The heavens have just parted.

Angelina and Brad will be adding two more girls to their growing family when Angie gives birth in July, Star has learned exclusively. And they are ecstatic at the news that they are having twin daughters. "Brad can't wait - he absolutely adores little girls," says a family insider. "And Angelina just loves seeing him and the other kids so excited and happy."

*Jumps in time machine set for 2026* "So, you ladies come here often?"

Britney Spears was the big winner yesterday as Commissioner Scott Gordon, the judge presiding over a hearing in her ongoing child custody case, greatly increased Britney's visitation rights to three per week with weekly overnight visits to start within a month. Stating he was impressed with...oh, dear God help us. TMZ reports:

Sources close to the custody case tell TMZ Britney Spears will get three days supervised visitation a week, significantly more face time than she gets now. It is unclear whether she has overnights with the kids. A source close to the fam tells us Brit is aiming to get back 50/50 custody by August. We've also learned Britney will spend Mother's Day with the kids."

Pretending that the last two years never happened, everyone is surprisingly optimisitic:

New York Daily News reports:

We are so pleased with Britney's progress, and we are very appreciative of the court's recognition of this progress," her parents said in a statement. Even Federline lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan had something nice to say: The longer visits are "recognition of progress that has been made," Kaplan said. "It's a cautious step, but a step nonetheless," he added."

Please keep in mind that the only reason any "progress has been made" is because Britney's father took her cars and money away and had her on lock down like a prison riot. Britney is seemingly normal now because she really didn't have much choice. Four months ago, Britney was in a padded room talking to demons and trying to get pregnant by her stalker, so it's not like the bar was set real high. Britney could've spent the last two months in a coma and it would have been considered a step up.

Britney at Jamie Lynn's baby shower this weekend:

Jennifer Aniston's publicist has been working overtime this week painting a beautiful picture of a whirlwind summer romance between Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer. In reality, they've been on like three dates. And as soon as Mayer left Miami, Aniston started text stalking him and telling all her friends that she was in love. I know, John Mayer was surprised, too!. Page Six says:

...A source in New York saw Mayer, a notorious horndog, out at 1Oak Friday night with Adam Levine, and Mayer "was all over some blond girl." Mayer later asked the DJ to play some R. Kelly songs so "we can dance with our girls."

We may not know the mysteries and secrets of love my friends, but if we've learned anything today, it's that I can stand on my head longer than Jennifer Aniston can keep a man.

The NHL is Elisha Cuthbert's Neverland Ranch, so here she is in Hawaii with her boyfriend, Calgary Flames defenseman, Dion Phaneuf. Surprise. If you're keeping score at home, that makes hockey player boyfriend number three. At this point, they should put a picture of her vagina on center ice. It can't hurt. Dion Phaneuf just tried to say something in her defense, but it seems I can't hear him over his shorts.

New nickname for Elisha Cuthber's vagina - "penalty box." Zing!