Kevin Federline recently called Malibu's Moonshadoes restaurant prior to his wife's arrival, not to arrange any sort of surprise or plan anything romantic, but to take another opportunity to tell perfect strangers that his wife is a fat ass. After Britney's party finished their meal, the waiter refused to bring out the dessert tray and reportedly told Britney:

I'm sorry, Ms. Spears, but your husband called here a few minutes ago and told us you weren't allowed to have dessert. In fact, we've been told that no one at the table can have dessert--because you'll eat it."

Calling Britney Spears fat is like a fart joke. No matter how many times you hear it, it's still funny. Personally, I could go on all day making up new ways to call her fat but that commitment is due to a deep seated bitterness and sense of betrayal that I feel when watching the "Toxic" video. Even without the airbrushing, you normally don't see a change that drastic unless you teleport with a fly. Although K-Fed makes a valid point, this is partly his fault and I am far too stuck up to give either of these two hillbillies credit for anything. If K-Fed rescued me from a burning car, I'd still tell the police that he tried to rob me.

K-Fed last week: