There is something terribly unnatural about the various shapes, angles, and such in that fifth picture. It looks like she's trying to smuggle in a water balloon.
Her stylist should be shot. Who doesn't know that D cups do not mix well with a strapless dress. Meanwhile, Jay Hernandez where have you been all my life?
WOW that is an unflattering dress. And hair color. And hair cut. And skin tone....
Did she actually look at herself in the mirror before going out like that and think "Wow, I look great! My lumpy boobs look totally hot both oddly squished into hanging out of this dress! My sideboob is going to look AWESOME!"???
Considering how skinny she is, they look like Ds to me. Do we have to have the whole explanation of how cup sizes work again? You wear a D if the measurement around your breasts is a certain number of inches bigger than the measurement around your chest just underneath them. If you're chubbier, your boobs have to be a lot bigger to constitute a D, whereas someone like Jess could have boobs that would only be a B on you, but are Ds on her.
Even though she looks like an Oompa Loompa with all that orange, I can't help but sing a song from a different movie (WOZ) when thinking about her - "If She Only Had a Brain!" It's no wonder Nick couldn't stand to stay married to her - it would be like trying to carry on a conversation with your pet rock.
I'm so glad you guys don't post the flattering pictures of this fugly thing all the time. Just because you get maybe 1 or 2 pics out of a set where she kinda looks good doesn't make her hot. It just means it was an accident. This chick is "Butterface" all the way.
I spy a mole. Or a giant skin tag. Same difference. [Pic 5] Oh. And I totally want to be watching reruns of Gilligan's Island right now, thanks to these pictures. The eps before Gilligan was driving the bamboo Scion xB.
Considering how skinny she is, they look like Ds to me. Do we have to have the whole explanation of how cup sizes work again? You wear a D if the measurement around your breasts is a certain number of inches bigger than the measurement around your chest just underneath them. If you're chubbier, your boobs have to be a lot bigger to constitute a D, whereas someone like Jess could have boobs that would only be a B on you, but are Ds on her.
um..no. If that were true, then how would we have manufactured bras? A D is a D.
I'm not digging on the new hair. Just because it matches her dress doesn't mean it suits her.
About her boobs. It seems they have gotten smaller. There doesn't seem to be as much cleavage as she is normally sporting.That dress has some obvious padding.
LOL, no, a D is not a D. Go somewhere they sell bras. Look at a 32 D and a 40 D, and you tell me those are both the same sized cup with different length string going around.
I'm serious. The cup on a 40 D is bigger than the cup on a 32 D.
um..no. If that were true, then how would we have manufactured bras? A D is a D.
Because your band size goes up, too. A woman who wears a 36B has the same cup size as a woman wearing a 32D -- because as your back gets bigger, your boobs do, too. So, when they said chubbier folks have to be much bigger to be a "D" was right -- a 36D is MUCH bigger cup than a 32D (which is what she probably wears)
I'm so jealous. So many women are looking for the perfect shade of "orange" when they go to the salon. Just like others look for the perfect shade of "yellow" instead of "blonde".
when you look at the profile pictures of her, her boobs look real saggy beeeuurrrkkkk (I'm a guy I love breast but she needs to do some push ups to shape her breast)
Something funny happens to her mouth whenever she tries to speak (top pic). It's like she has to deliberately think about which way to move her mouth and make sounds. She's prolly much more comfortable giving head. No thinking involved there, just sweet instinct.
Nose jobs should be illegal. All plastic surgery even. What if I decide to bless a woman with my seed based on her apparently great genes, but my kids come out hideous because the bitch was a big plastic lie?
And what's up with women slathering a layer of spackle over their entire bodies now? It was bad enough when only a woman's face was a completely manufactured lie, now I don't even know what kind of skin conditions I might be dealing with.
Makeup should be illegal. It's all lies and deception. Makes me sick. Either make it taboo for everyone, or lift the taboo on men wearing it. Let me slather a quarter inch of lies over my whole body before I go out so I can score more tail.
What's really bad is, you'll notice in Pic #2 that her fingers are brownish-orange. Nasty!!! Spray on shit if you have to, don't rub it in. Geesh
Also, She doesn't have an incision scar in her pit. Everyone has that, its a line from a "fat roll" that develops when you put your arm down. Almost everyone has one, except for the anorexic chicks.
Dude who wants to wear make-up...go for it. Lots of guys wear make-up nowadays. So stop bitching about women being fake and go out and buy some rouge.
that top picture would be perfect if you cropped out that stupid bimbo in the middle. actually you could just put me in there--yeah and make us all naked--i like the sound of that!
anon 3:50. i'm sorry that you are learning impaired. wig lesson #1: you don't have to pull a wig all the way down to your forehead. if you'll notice, her bangs are a different color than her wig, so that's how you know it's really a hairpiece.
I'm sorry I couldn't tell she changed her hair color for the day. I was too busy staring at her TITS! Did she get the matching carpet to go with those drapes?
Wow, this article is one of the meanest I've seen. LOL, I like it.
Oh come on it's not all that bad. It's a different look.
I think her sister is a little weirder and more annoying.
I didn't even realize that her dress was also orange. Yea, that was a bad mistake. I was only looking at her orange skin and hair and lipstick. She needs to use better lip colors. Not so light.
I can't believe she's shorter than the actor on the right. He's walked by me in Beverly Hills before and he's pretty damn short!
I agree with the majority of you. They kept making a big to do about her in the magazines and how fabulous she looked and I was thinking "what are they talking about!?" She looks like a freaking carrot, and that hair color matches her skin color way too much. the cut of the wig is not flattering either, it's way too even and poofy at the bottom
i think jessica is amazing now matter what. granted she looks better in some ways rather than others...however...anyone who can call her ugly..or say she only looks good "sometimes"...obviously needs to see an eye doctor immediately...jealousy perhaps?? the only reason im typing this is because i came accross this on the internet..and i just wanted to let remind you guys to get a life instead of trash talking celebrities on a blog
69 Comments:
There is something terribly unnatural about the various shapes, angles, and such in that fifth picture. It looks like she's trying to smuggle in a water balloon.
By CK1, on 10:02 AM
Her stylist should be shot. Who doesn't know that D cups do not mix well with a strapless dress. Meanwhile, Jay Hernandez where have you been all my life?
By Bama Girl, on 10:06 AM
Finally, her hair, skin and dress all match.
By Anonymous, on 10:10 AM
The way she looks here, it's like another of Wonka's candy experiments has gone awry...
By Anonymous, on 10:19 AM
Isn't her stylist on drugs? This dress verifies it. And what's with shoving D-breasts into a A-cup dress? Not cute.
That hair is soooo bad, for the amount of time she spends with the hairdresser he could try to do something better.
By Anonymous, on 10:19 AM
orange you glad i didint say banana....
By Anonymous, on 10:20 AM
mmmmmm....squished boobies.
By Anonymous, on 10:29 AM
Pic5 looks like she in the middle of a donkey "Heeeee-Haaawwww"
By Anonymous, on 10:32 AM
check out the hand in the 3rd pic copping a feel
By Anonymous, on 10:35 AM
I heard it was for her new movie, "The Life and Times of Carrot Top". The word is she may be up for an Oscar!
By Nick Lachey, on 10:35 AM
Dude! Isaac Mizrahi strikes again in the third pic!!
By Anonymous, on 10:36 AM
That dress has a terrible fit. YOu'd think that with all her money, she could have that puppy altered a bit.
And as others have said, I don't think that matching your hair color to your clothing is a wise choice.
By Anonymous, on 10:40 AM
First of all those... are NOT D's! i should know, i've had D's.
anyways, did anyone notice that the boobs look alot like the nose from the side.. all droopy and bumpy..
i bet that hand is her fathers... it looks like it.
By Anonymous, on 10:46 AM
WOW that is an unflattering dress. And hair color. And hair cut. And skin tone....
Did she actually look at herself in the mirror before going out like that and think "Wow, I look great! My lumpy boobs look totally hot both oddly squished into hanging out of this dress! My sideboob is going to look AWESOME!"???
By AnnArrogance, on 10:48 AM
First of all those... are NOT D's! i should know, i've had D's.
anyways, did anyone notice that the boobs look alot like the nose from the side.. all droopy and bumpy..
i bet that hand is her fathers... it looks like it.
By Shelby, on 10:48 AM
Considering how skinny she is, they look like Ds to me. Do we have to have the whole explanation of how cup sizes work again? You wear a D if the measurement around your breasts is a certain number of inches bigger than the measurement around your chest just underneath them. If you're chubbier, your boobs have to be a lot bigger to constitute a D, whereas someone like Jess could have boobs that would only be a B on you, but are Ds on her.
By Anonymous, on 10:57 AM
Even though she looks like an Oompa Loompa with all that orange, I can't help but sing a song from a different movie (WOZ) when thinking about her - "If She Only Had a Brain!" It's no wonder Nick couldn't stand to stay married to her - it would be like trying to carry on a conversation with your pet rock.
By Anonymous, on 11:05 AM
I believe that shade is Garnier Nutrisse "Warm Sugar 59".
By Kitty X, on 11:24 AM
Jessica? More like Jackassica! Hi-oh! Anyone?...anyone?...oh nevermind.
By Anonymous, on 11:24 AM
I'm so glad you guys don't post the flattering pictures of this fugly thing all the time. Just because you get maybe 1 or 2 pics out of a set where she kinda looks good doesn't make her hot. It just means it was an accident. This chick is "Butterface" all the way.
By Anonymous, on 11:25 AM
Why, Why, Why does this dumb bitch get to stand next to two of the hottest guys in hollywood.
By Anonymous, on 11:31 AM
My guess is that she wears a 32G, which would be close to a 36DDD but would fit much better because she's so thin.
By Anonymous, on 11:40 AM
If those are two of the hottest guys in Hollywood, Hollywood has not only gone downhill... it's slid right into the ocean.
By HairlessMonkeyDK, on 11:46 AM
I spy a mole. Or a giant skin tag. Same difference. [Pic 5] Oh. And I totally want to be watching reruns of Gilligan's Island right now, thanks to these pictures. The eps before Gilligan was driving the bamboo Scion xB.
By rm®, on 11:55 AM
I kinda like the hair. But, I can't take my eyes of my man Jay Hernandez..damn..where the hell has he been? Yum!
By Anonymous, on 11:57 AM
Considering how skinny she is, they look like Ds to me. Do we have to have the whole explanation of how cup sizes work again? You wear a D if the measurement around your breasts is a certain number of inches bigger than the measurement around your chest just underneath them. If you're chubbier, your boobs have to be a lot bigger to constitute a D, whereas someone like Jess could have boobs that would only be a B on you, but are Ds on her.
um..no. If that were true, then how would we have manufactured bras? A D is a D.
By Anonymous, on 12:00 PM
A short Mexican guy is the "hottest" guy in Hollywood? No. Short = not sexy. Sorry.
By Anonymous, on 12:02 PM
At least she's coordinated.....her hair, skin, dress and lipstick are all the same color. EWWWWWWW!
By Anonymous, on 12:10 PM
I'm not digging on the new hair. Just because it matches her dress doesn't mean it suits her.
About her boobs. It seems they have gotten smaller. There doesn't seem to be as much cleavage as she is normally sporting.That dress has some obvious padding.
By Brandy, on 12:12 PM
LOL, no, a D is not a D. Go somewhere they sell bras. Look at a 32 D and a 40 D, and you tell me those are both the same sized cup with different length string going around.
I'm serious. The cup on a 40 D is bigger than the cup on a 32 D.
By Anonymous, on 12:15 PM
um..no. If that were true, then how would we have manufactured bras? A D is a D.
Because your band size goes up, too. A woman who wears a 36B has the same cup size as a woman wearing a 32D -- because as your back gets bigger, your boobs do, too. So, when they said chubbier folks have to be much bigger to be a "D" was right -- a 36D is MUCH bigger cup than a 32D (which is what she probably wears)
By Anonymous, on 12:16 PM
I kind of like the hair. Its a nice soft orange. You ho's are all jealous.
By Anonymous, on 12:45 PM
I'm so jealous. So many women are looking for the perfect shade of "orange" when they go to the salon. Just like others look for the perfect shade of "yellow" instead of "blonde".
By Anonymous, on 12:59 PM
I heard that the hair wasnt real, it was a wig
By Anonymous, on 1:00 PM
Her boobs look like someone flopped 2 scoops of orange sherbet on her chest.
By Twisted Humor, on 1:07 PM
All of you quit complaining. She would be a great Titty F. ( o )( o )
By Anonymous, on 1:25 PM
I think she looks great.
By Anonymous, on 1:47 PM
That's one ugly sandwich.
Cheech and Chong filled with rotten cheese. Yuck.
By Anonymous, on 1:49 PM
"Hey, kids... Do you drink TANG?"
"Why isn't that the orange drink that the astronauts took to the moon?"
"It sure is! Drink Tang, gang, it's Tang-erific!"
By jeditemple, on 2:05 PM
Her spectacular figure features a natural 36DD bust that blossomed in junior high school. (Source: Celebrity Sleuth magazine)
-Courtesy IMDb.com
By rm®, on 2:06 PM
when you look at the profile pictures of her, her boobs look real saggy beeeuurrrkkkk
(I'm a guy I love breast but she needs to do some push ups to shape her breast)
By Anonymous, on 2:09 PM
JESSICA SIMPSON WAS NEVER ATTRACTIVE
JESSICA SIMPSON WAS NEVER ATTRACTIVE
JESSICA SIMPSON WAS NEVER ATTRACTIVE
JESSICA SIMPSON WAS NEVER ATTRACTIVE
JESSICA SIMPSON WAS NEVER ATTRACTIVE
JESSICA SIMPSON WAS NEVER ATTRACTIVE
when will people get it through their heads?
By Anonymous, on 2:47 PM
Yeah, the hair is fake. She has a new wig line out.
By Anonymous, on 3:17 PM
I think those two guys are more interested in each other than they are in her. Check it out: they can't even look at her!
By Not a freaky red-head, on 3:19 PM
Check out the random dude's hand in pic 3. Is he copping a feel? Niiiiice.
By Anonymous, on 3:39 PM
a wig, my ass. that hair is coming straight out of her head.
By Anonymous, on 3:50 PM
Something funny happens to her mouth whenever she tries to speak (top pic). It's like she has to deliberately think about which way to move her mouth and make sounds.
She's prolly much more comfortable giving head. No thinking involved there, just sweet instinct.
By curious, on 3:55 PM
Well, you can't say she's not colour coordinated!
By sam991, on 4:27 PM
Nose jobs should be illegal. All plastic surgery even. What if I decide to bless a woman with my seed based on her apparently great genes, but my kids come out hideous because the bitch was a big plastic lie?
And what's up with women slathering a layer of spackle over their entire bodies now? It was bad enough when only a woman's face was a completely manufactured lie, now I don't even know what kind of skin conditions I might be dealing with.
Makeup should be illegal. It's all lies and deception. Makes me sick. Either make it taboo for everyone, or lift the taboo on men wearing it. Let me slather a quarter inch of lies over my whole body before I go out so I can score more tail.
By Anonymous, on 6:50 PM
rm® said...
"Her spectacular figure features a natural 36DD bust that blossomed in junior high school. "
Natural?? Then what's that incision scar in her armpit? (see pics 1 & 3)
By Anonymous, on 8:42 PM
(In a dutch accent) I LIKE GOOOOLD!!!!!!!
By Anonymous, on 8:45 PM
uuuhhhh am I the only one that noticed the palms of her hands are ORANGE too? She's just so incredibly dumb.
See pic 2
ya'll she's just a skanky ho. no two ways about it.
By Anonymous, on 5:21 AM
What's really bad is, you'll notice in Pic #2 that her fingers are brownish-orange. Nasty!!! Spray on shit if you have to, don't rub it in. Geesh
Also, She doesn't have an incision scar in her pit. Everyone has that, its a line from a "fat roll" that develops when you put your arm down. Almost everyone has one, except for the anorexic chicks.
Dude who wants to wear make-up...go for it. Lots of guys wear make-up nowadays. So stop bitching about women being fake and go out and buy some rouge.
By Anonymous, on 5:31 AM
Did anybody noticed the color of her hands and fingers.....Nice SprayTan job !! You are so fake girl !!
By Anonymous, on 10:06 AM
Did anybody noticed the color of her hands and fingers.....Nice SprayTan job !! You are so fake girl !!
By Anonymous, on 10:06 AM
I use to like her a lot but I think
that whole fame thing went to her
head..I wish her husband well
By Anonymous, on 10:37 AM
Todd, you are fucking hysterical.
By Blonde Vigilante, on 11:17 AM
that top picture would be perfect if you cropped out that stupid bimbo in the middle. actually you could just put me in there--yeah and make us all naked--i like the sound of that!
By Anonymous, on 11:27 AM
anon 3:50.
i'm sorry that you are learning impaired. wig lesson #1: you don't have to pull a wig all the way down to your forehead. if you'll notice, her bangs are a different color than her wig, so that's how you know it's really a hairpiece.
good lord.
By todd's mom, on 12:05 PM
Her boob in the last picture makes me smile. Big orange freakshow.
By Jess, on 2:58 PM
I'm sorry I couldn't tell she changed her hair color for the day. I was too busy staring at her TITS! Did she get the matching carpet to go with those drapes?
By Anonymous, on 7:52 PM
these dumb fuck chicks need to stop letting flaming gay guys do makeovers on them. she looks like she's 70 years old.
By Anonymous, on 8:12 PM
Hmmm, she's the exact same colour as the little patch of rust on my car's bumper.
By Tornado, on 10:10 PM
Somewhere there is a gay hair dresser, and a gay dress designer laughing their heads off, and you can be certain that someone won a bet.
By Anonymous, on 7:48 PM
Wow, this article is one of the meanest I've seen. LOL, I like it.
Oh come on it's not all that bad. It's a different look.
I think her sister is a little weirder and more annoying.
I didn't even realize that her dress was also orange. Yea, that was a bad mistake. I was only looking at her orange skin and hair and lipstick. She needs to use better lip colors. Not so light.
I can't believe she's shorter than the actor on the right. He's walked by me in Beverly Hills before and he's pretty damn short!
By Anonymous, on 8:46 PM
oh shut up, she looks awesome
By Anonymous, on 11:49 AM
I agree with the majority of you. They kept making a big to do about her in the magazines and how fabulous she looked and I was thinking "what are they talking about!?" She looks like a freaking carrot, and that hair color matches her skin color way too much. the cut of the wig is not flattering either, it's way too even and poofy at the bottom
By Anonymous, on 8:50 AM
i think jessica is amazing now matter what. granted she looks better in some ways rather than others...however...anyone who can call her ugly..or say she only looks good "sometimes"...obviously needs to see an eye doctor immediately...jealousy perhaps?? the only reason im typing this is because i came accross this on the internet..and i just wanted to let remind you guys to get a life instead of trash talking celebrities on a blog
By Anonymous, on 12:07 PM
she has self tanner all over the inside of her hand as she's waving.
what an ugly cunt.
By Anonymous, on 5:59 PM
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