IDontLikeYouInThatWay.com

Jessica "Camel Toe" Simpson Goes Shopping

The vortex of suck that is Jessica Simpson is not limited to her inability to act or dress and her crappy, popularized via Payola music. Clearly, her vagina also does a significant amount of sucking as evidenced by its engulfing her paint-on stretch pants she wore out shopping a few days ago. Alas, no amount of public displays of crotch-wedgie picking could rescue those pants. There's no word yet on what it looks like in there, but I've always pictured it as something like a bear trap which makes a rattlesnake sound when you go near it. Joe Simpson should really consider patenting that thing.

33 Comments:

Ee Gads. I had to explain to my mother and grandmother what a camel toe is. They laughed so hysterically, I started crying myself. Jessica's entire life is a metaphorical camel toe.

By Kitty X, on 6:43 PM
Methinks her lips are looking a bit puffy once again.

And now that I think about it, I guess you could take that two different ways.

Jess, hon... one normally does not get collagen injections in THOSE lips. Let's try to keep the plastic surgery ABOVE the pantyline.

By Anonymous, on 6:51 PM
I think the package wasn't tucked back properly

By Brandy, on 7:02 PM
EWWWWWWW!!!!!

By Anonymous, on 7:27 PM
That thing is about a cubic milimeter shy of a mooseknuckle.

/I can't get the image of a lobster feeding out of my head.

By Gonzo, on 7:37 PM
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

By meli, on 8:06 PM
um...are you sure the one of her picking at it isn't Brit Brit????

By flyonthewall, on 8:22 PM
guess what, everything you hear on the radio is corporate trash, not just jessica simpson

By Anonymous, on 8:24 PM
@ flyonthewall -- it's jessica in every pic, and she's wearing the same clothes in every pic. you're right that she's as ugly as britney though.

By Anonymous, on 8:28 PM
This reminds of a great poem. I call it, "Ode to a Camel Toe"

Twin islands rising
in a sliding Spandex sea.
Land ho, camel toe!

By Anonymous, on 8:46 PM
why would anyone find this whore attractive? that is nasty. I like how she digs it out, on camera. (pause for vomit); wow, she sucks.

By guru, on 9:50 PM
lolol.

By Jester959, on 9:53 PM
maybe she LIKES yeast infections.

By Anonymous, on 9:58 PM
hey.. could someone give me a call when jessica simpson is attractive? thanks

By Anonymous, on 11:21 PM
She's fucking ugly. Stupid bitch.

By Honey, on 6:42 AM
Did she have some teeth removed on this day too? Her cheeks are puffed out like a chipmunk.

By the way...I bet those spandex pants reek!

By Anonymous, on 7:41 AM
More like "Camel Face".

By Ben Dover, on 8:51 AM
That third pic is just funny. The look of distress on her face is classic.
I'll never know what the itching of crabs FEELS like, but, thanks to the picture I now know what it LOOKS like. hahaha

JJ

By joejoe, on 9:19 AM
nevermind the camel toe. it can happen...well, not really, but whatever. but look at her hair. you can't miss that when you pass by a mirror on your way out of the house. It's called a brush, Jessica. Girl's best friend. Available from 2.99 at CVS to 99.99 at Sephora.

By Anonymous, on 9:38 AM
"um...are you sure the one of her picking at it isn't Brit Brit????"

i was thinking the exact same thing, lol

By Anonymous, on 9:42 AM
At least it finally proves she's not actually a man.

By Anonymous, on 11:31 AM
Doesn't she know that you're supposed to walk closely behind a friend when you pick out your toe?

By Anonymous, on 12:14 PM
Chipmunk Implants. Is that the latest thing, now?

By Melpomene, on 6:58 PM
Jessica was always totally unappreciative of everything Nick did for her, unless it was buying her jewelry or having a closet built for her gazillions of clothes she only wants to wear once.
There's also the time he built the recording studio in their home and couldn't wait for Jessica to come home and see it cause "Jessica's gonna love this!" and what did he get when she finally did come home..."I don't wanna see it" in that whiny voice just cause that couch she didn't like was in it.......
Or even all that work Nick and Drew did putting that grass sod down while she was gone. And that time he put the arcade games in that room upstairs and bought that one especially so she could play it with him. After much convincing, she finally played it and couldn't even pretend she was enjoying it.
She was always whining when she didn't get her way and could never even ACT happy or glad for anything Nick did unless it was specifically done for her.
A simple "Oh that's great honey!" goes a long way. She even got the dog she wanted after whining and pouting enough.
It takes the patience of a saint to put up with that crap. I don't see how anybody could ever doubt his love and commitment to her. Hers, on the other hand, was always questionable.

By Anonymous, on 12:44 AM
I agree with anon at 12:44am - Nick, I and everyone else feels your pain. Someday, she will fall off that cloud she's on. Wonder if anyone will catch her. Oh yeah, Big Daddy will.

By In the Nick Camp, on 9:00 AM
RE: anon 1244AM

I agree. She is a whiny little bitch who took Nick for granted. Given I'm not a fan of either of their work I'm going to have to side with Nick and ho[e he cleans house in the divorce. I watched an episode of that Newlywed show when they went to Home Depot and she did nothing but bitch and moan while Nick was trying to get something for the house. He had way more patience than I would for that shit. But I do recall him saying something sarcastic to her when they went to the car.

By Brandy, on 9:37 AM
hes a stupid fuck for doing any work himself, when he has access to her bank account. let the bitch pay for everything. and camel toe is hot by the way. id definetely pee in her butt

By Anonymous, on 2:24 AM
Jessica is still Hot as hell and yall r just mad your camel toe isnt as sexxxxxxxxxxy

By Anonymous, on 12:16 PM
Jessica Simpson is hot. That doesn't excuse her from being a crappy singer, a whore, or busting out the camel toe.

By Norrin Rad, on 3:19 PM
is this a gay site or somthing, that shits hot and so is jessica

By Anonymous, on 6:29 PM
Come on, Jessica isn't that hot, I am not gay and I certainly have seen way more beautiful women than that whiny hump nosed thing.

By Anonymous, on 6:47 PM
she did NOT do that! she knows she's a celebrity and cameras are gonna be clicking. She looks crabby...

By Taylor, on 4:55 PM
With her limited inteligence she had better learn to capitalize on something more than the camel toe, because it is clear that her earning potential will soon decline when she no longer is able to turn the heads of teen age boys.

www.bionicbuddha.com

By BionicBuddha, on 2:27 PM