Mischa Barton is a Bitch
I've never really had an opinion on Mischa Barton. She has frightening taste in men, she seems not to care too much about her career, but in the right light she looks somewhat do-able, so I usually give her the benefit of the doubt. She has been saying dumb stuff for years, but turns out she's also a raging bitch. Mischa reportedly screamed at her mother, the week after Mother's Day, when her mother had trouble with an elevator key at the Central Park Ritz-Carlton:You're so fucking retarded! What idiot can't put a fucking key in? You're so stupid - it takes you 10 hours to do anything!"
Let me preface this by saying I'm from the South, specifically North Carolina. A place where mothers command more fear and respect than Jesus and Dean Smith. So, if I even thought about saying this to my mother, not only would it take the jaws of life to get her foot out of my ass, my brothers would take turns breaking a bat over my rib cage. Mischa is 5'9", so my mom might need a stool, but I'm pretty sure that if Mischa tried that crap, she'd get tucked in for the night.
From the look of Mischa in these pictures from Toronto last weekend, it looks like somebody has already beaten her with a stick. Granted, it's more of a figurative one than the one we had in mind.
And old bikini pictures just because:
Source/Source
48 Comments:
love the ass dimples.
and from one southerner to the other, pure fucking hilarity.
<3
By Anonymous, on 4:57 PM
Holy hail damage Batman....
By Anonymous, on 5:00 PM
SHE A BITCH AND SHES NOT VERY ATTRACTIVE I THINK, YUCK
By Anonymous, on 5:19 PM
Her legs are funny looking. Or maybe it's the hips. I don't know. Something is weird about her.............
By Anonymous, on 5:26 PM
i think shes a hotty, just needs a good boobjob
By Anonymous, on 5:36 PM
I never understood why anyone would like her. She pretty much sucks.
By Anonymous, on 5:37 PM
nice jello thighs. what is that black raspberry flavor?
By Anonymous, on 5:54 PM
Is that Kate Bosworth in the last pic?
By Anonymous, on 5:58 PM
Breathtakingly pretty and breathtakingly dumb.
She doesn't really matter that much one way or the other. She's only 20 anyway.
By pearce, on 5:59 PM
She's far from hot, all skeletal and hideous - how can anyone find her attractive. Her OC co-star Rachel Bilson is more attractive by a mile. Heck, I'd even bang one of the guys in the OC rather than her
By some what bi, on 6:16 PM
Living in NC myself- pretty damn funny but don't forget Roy.
By Anonymous, on 6:27 PM
How can a woman that skinny have cellulite on her ass? No exercise? Jeez, the dog's ass in pic 2 looks more doable.
By Anonymous, on 6:32 PM
goddamn i wanna tap that ass!
talking about her cellulite... what are you, gay? all women have fat on their bodies, get over it
By Anonymous, on 7:37 PM
OMGZORZZ!
By Shocked, on 7:48 PM
WAIT! She has no ass, and cellulite! How in the hell did that happen?!!? She must not work out or something...
By Anonymous, on 7:51 PM
@ Anon 6:32.. Can't stop laughing... Fucking hell, thanks. Now I can't stop staring at that big dog crater.
How did it get to be so big?..
Ooh, Hell, here I come..
By Anonymous, on 7:54 PM
Get your Keds on, take your damn organic groceries and get out my city you boring hack!
By Mackoroni, on 8:53 PM
Her legs are very unshapely.
By Anonymous, on 9:31 PM
I think Mischa's behavior, if that did indeed happen, confirms for me that she is an overrated, despicable little witch. But she's been acting and modelling for years and her parents probably indulged and enabled her, spoiled her and lived off her so now they all get what they all built together. You don't need to be from the South to be disgusted and appalled.
By Anonymous, on 10:08 PM
I think Mischa's behavior, if that did indeed happen, confirms for me that she is an overrated, despicable little witch. But she's been acting and modelling for years and her parents probably indulged and enabled her, spoiled her and lived off her so now they all get what they all built together. You don't need to be from the South to be disgusted and appalled.
By Anonymous, on 10:08 PM
Yep, call Progressive, because I see some hail damage on those thighs. She doesn't have a very shapely ass either.
By jeditemple, on 10:17 PM
I see a lot of grade A velvetta cheese on that ass. Yahtzee!!!
By Anonymous, on 10:20 PM
She's young, and currentyly slim, but she has definitely got the type of figure that will end up going south at a young age. She has the most toneless, and unattractive legs of any female celeb I know of. Fleshy, and shapeless.
In a few years she will only be able to do face shots. She needs to keep the face because the body is going to end up looking like a bruised pear. Trust me I know.
By Anonymous, on 10:20 PM
roy and dean are my heroes...
(i should mention that i go to unc right now lol)
By Anonymous, on 10:39 PM
she's only 20 and has that much cellulite? poor ugly girl
By Anonymous, on 10:52 PM
Anon 6:32....I literally laughed out loud (at work) when I read your comment, then went back and looked at that pic. Thanks!
By Anonymous, on 5:01 AM
She's cursed with a skin and bones body with no boobs or cellulite because obviously she desearves it.
By Brandy, on 5:20 AM
Her body is grotesque and she's a fucking bitch. So is Jessica Alba? But at least JA looks smokin' hot in a bikini.
By Anonymous, on 6:13 AM
7:37: Women do. Plastic mannequins don't. She has no body fat anywhere else, stick thin limbs... and butt cellulite. Not natural! How do you have butt cellulite when you barely have a butt?
By Anonymous, on 8:08 AM
who cares about the cellulite, she still has a hot body.
By Anonymous, on 9:18 AM
dammit my previous statement didn't come out right... what it was meant to say was skin and bones with no boobs but still manages to have cellulite. But I'm sure all of you got the picture dispite my retarded wording.
By Brandy, on 9:25 AM
Mischa = cunt
By Anonymous, on 12:18 PM
It's actually kinda comforting to see such a skinny thing have some cellulite. It makes me feel normal. News Flash people.... almost ALL woman have cellulite. You can't see it on most celebrities cause they have that shit airbrushed out....DUH people.
By Anonymous, on 1:22 PM
At first I was thinking you guys were all being total assholes about the cellulite. Then I looked at the enlarged pictures. Now I understand.
By Anonymous, on 1:29 PM
One of the thing that bugs me most about celebs is how they dress when there are just bumming around. They can't just wear jeans and a t-shirt or a track suit. They have to dress like a retarded 8 year old that got to pick out their own clothes. Attention grab much with the plaid old lady shorts, Springsteen shirt and Mr. T chains Mischa?
By Anonymous, on 1:32 PM
i cant figure mischa barton out. first season of oc she was really pretty. second season and third she seemed to get progressively uglier and the ridiculous clothing didnt help. then ill see pics of her in magazines and she looks lovely again. and then i see pictures like these and of her with that disgusting boyfriend of hers and i cringe with disgust.
By Anonymous, on 2:32 PM
i agree about her body shape, it is unfortunate. she is super skinny yes, but her legs are extremely unattractive and shapeless. her whole body has always looked very ackward to me. her face is the only assett she has.
By Anonymous, on 2:38 PM
I think the cellulite-despite-being-skinny problem comes from not doing any kind of exercise at all. At 20 she can kinda get away with it. In 10 years time: saddle-bag city and a wide, flat shapeless ass.
By schatzien, on 4:51 PM
LMAO!! I don't reply to your blog much, though I read it avidly. I laughed sooooo hard over your North Carolina comments. I totally relate! I'm from NC, too and I can back up what you say 100%. Hell, my mama smacked me in the face once just for "lookin' at me wrong". Lookin' at her wrong? Yes, in NC you will get a smack if your mother even *suspects* you are about to try some shit. ;)
And Barton is a BITCH. But I always suspected it, so this news item came as no surprise.
By Anonymous, on 4:51 PM
Her body is ugly. It takes more than just being thin to be considered sexy and beautiful. Barton's body is hideous.
By Anonymous, on 6:34 PM
Well, now I really know just how much life is unfair and genes can really screw you.. doesn't matter if you're rail thin, you can still have a gnarly bum. I guess I'm not so sad about not being that skinny anymore, cause obviously it means nothing!
Though, Mischa, I highly recommend doing some squats or something.
By Anonymous, on 8:20 AM
This chick will be a has been in a micro second. Disgusting awkward chimp girl. She's only fitting for homeless sperm.
By Anonymous, on 8:59 PM
some what bi said...
She's far from hot, all skeletal and hideous - how can anyone find her attractive. Her OC co-star Rachel Bilson is more attractive by a mile.
-----------------------
Dude Rachel B is even tinier than Mischa. That girl would break in half on a windy day!
As for Mischa. The girls pretty but she's not very talented and dont like the attitude at all!
By Anonymous, on 1:09 AM
all i can say is GROSS! i don't understand what people see in her... i've always thought she had a gross body and i don't like her face a bit... she can't act either. yuck. rachel bilson is 100 times more adorable
By Anonymous, on 2:09 PM
Haha! I hail from the more southern of the Carolinas - and you are spot on! I really enjoy your site, I have rolled with laughter many times! I am no beauty queen fo' sho', but that bitch is fucking ugly whoreanus. I have NEVER seen a pic of her that I thought was remotely attractive, and I don't think she has style, looks good with or without clothes on...Damn, I can't say one good thing about her!
By Anonymous, on 1:31 PM
So, if I even thought about saying this to my mother, not only would it take the jaws of life to get her foot out of my ass, my brothers would take turns breaking a bat over my rib cage.
lmao, I nearly knee-slapped myself to death over this sentence.
All I can say is wow @ her "get-up" and wow @ what make-up can do for some people. I don't think she can even be recognized on the street. The cosmetics industry should be applauded for such a feat.
By Anonymous, on 6:46 PM
cellulite is highly heritable.....exercise as much as you want; if it's written strongly enough in your genes, you have almost no recourse.
By Anonymous, on 2:14 PM
She was bad on the OC, yeah, but her legs always unnerved me. They look like one continuous cankle which she MUST show off. There was a celebrity "best beach bodies" thing I saw a while ago that showed a picture of her sitting down. Smart choice.
By Anonymous, on 8:59 PM
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