Pamela Anderson attended a news conference in Las Vegas yesterday to promote her new online poker site, PamelaPoker.com. During the conference, she announced she's going to marry Kid Rock four different times in four different places in one month. They'll marry in France, California, Michigan and Tennessee. When she was asked how she's coping with her nerves she said,

I have two words for you: champagne."

Two words, huh? Okay, well, in Pam's defense, if you're drunk enough and slurring slowly enough, one word tends to stretch to two words. Or maybe she just thinks "champagne" is spelled "sham pain" since drinking enough of it causes "head pain" and, at times, "crotch pain." And I have a feeling Pam's experienced enough levels of crotch pain to host a two week long symposium on how to alleviate it - with sham pain.

Pam yesterday at the press conference:


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