I wonder what is more effective at removing the Paris ebola, Tilex or Clorox? You would think both would burn your genitalia...unfortunately, having sex with Paris is a one way ticket to syphillis...
Oh yeah "9:58 AM" is right. She's trying to get Jolie's lips.
What a whore. It's a waste of time/web space to be talking about her in the first place.
I don't listen to Howard Stern but it seems any guy that goes on that show brags about having sex with all these "stars." Are they just lying most of the time? Someone tell me?
10:11, Anyone that goes on a national broadcast and brags about banging a celebrity is most likely lying, male or not. It's the "Fifteen Minutes of Fame" Syndrome. If I went on Larry King and started spouting off about how I rode Todd so hard I broke his pelvis, everyone would go "Oooooh, reeeaaallly?" and I'd get a little attention for it, right? Same thing for Elijah Allman.
And 9:56, are you serious? You need some mental help.
Elijah Blue Allman eh? What does he do anyway? I haven't seen photos of him in years. Is he in a band?
I guess I'm just wondering if he is one of those celebrity kids that has a career just being a celebrity kid. I guess I can surmise that he didn't inherit his father or deceased uncle's musical talent though or I would have heard about him.
Ahhh, I remember now...the Greek dieity Parisitus, god of diseases and inexplicable fame, usually portrayed as person (historians have been unable to confirm male or female gender due to the shapeless body) with huge feet and a wonky eye.
Unfortunately, most temples dedicated to this little-known deity were destroyed, as Greeks, claiming Parisitus had violated them in their sleep, became enraged when their genitals fell off due to the many diseases spread by the god and burned the temples.
"Elijah, the son of Cher and Greg Allman, said he had sex with Paris before she became famous and that he was so worried that he might catch a disease after they did it, he went downstairs and scrubbed his genitals with Tilex."
I don't care who you are, that's some funny shit right there :D
Remember American Pie 2 and the "law of 3"? Using that theory, Paris has banged at least 6 guys....bet there's been a run on Tilex, Valtrex and RID in the past few years.
If he was so damn worried about catching something, why did he have sex with her at all?
I would love to see her on a talk show, and have all the guys in the audience announce that they've had sex with her (hopefully untruthfully). Ten to one she'd just accept it, because she can't remember them all.
Actually, she does look pretty (not in this outfit though) until you realize that GASP it's Paris Hilton.
I just can't accept the fact that's she's pretty but dammit that's Paris Hilton. Ugh. That's such a waste of a nice body... can't even say she looks nice without feeling weird cause, well, that's her, bah!
I can remember Deryck Whibley saying he had sex with her, what about Nick Carter, Paris L, Stavros, Rick Salomon, that "fiance" Jason of hers..........that's 5 right there! She's so stupid she probably thinks that 2 and 5 are equal.
This doesn't even include the HOW many others there must have been...OH! Joe Francis! That's on VIDEO!!! (storage locker contents on ebay) Matt Leinart.......hmm...anyone else want to throw out a few guesses?
40 Comments:
omg a paris hilton post thank god i was dying
By Anonymous, on 9:30 AM
I wonder what is more effective at removing the Paris ebola, Tilex or Clorox? You would think both would burn your genitalia...unfortunately, having sex with Paris is a one way ticket to syphillis...
By Anonymous, on 9:39 AM
I bet even skank wannabes like blohan are envious about this issue.
By Anonymous, on 9:47 AM
she looks exactly like a Greek goddess. no wonder there's such jealousy and hate.
By Anonymous, on 9:56 AM
She definitely has had some work on her lips done lately. It's so clearly to see in these pictures.
By Anonymous, on 9:58 AM
Oh yeah "9:58 AM" is right. She's trying to get Jolie's lips.
What a whore. It's a waste of time/web space to be talking about her in the first place.
I don't listen to Howard Stern but it seems any guy that goes on that show brags about having sex with all these "stars." Are they just lying most of the time? Someone tell me?
By m, on 10:11 AM
i noticed her lips too... ho is uuuuugly
By Anonymous, on 10:14 AM
Is it just me, or does Parisite actually look kinda sad lately? HA! Our curst is working, now if only she would disappear and die!
By Anonymous, on 10:18 AM
Ouch.
I once took steel wool and hot sauce to my balls, it hurt like hell, but the old guy did pay $1500 for the video.
Still, Tilex isn't a cure for the clap, kiddies.
By CK1, on 10:22 AM
my b/f thinks paris is soooo sexy, it drives me crazy...i hate her, such a whore
By Anonymous, on 10:23 AM
10:11, Anyone that goes on a national broadcast and brags about banging a celebrity is most likely lying, male or not. It's the "Fifteen Minutes of Fame" Syndrome. If I went on Larry King and started spouting off about how I rode Todd so hard I broke his pelvis, everyone would go "Oooooh, reeeaaallly?" and I'd get a little attention for it, right? Same thing for Elijah Allman.
And 9:56, are you serious? You need some mental help.
By Vigilante, on 10:27 AM
I've watched "Day of the Dead" and the only sure-fire way to slow the infection is to cut off the affected organ with a machete.
By jeditemple, on 10:36 AM
so are all nalon salons ran by asian people? i thought it was just where i lived. guess not.
By Anonymous, on 10:41 AM
"my b/f thinks paris is soooo sexy, it drives me crazy...i hate her, such a whore "
You don't get it, the reason he finds her "soooo sexy", IS because she IS "such a whore".
btw- I really got a laugh when she said she has had sex with only 2 guys. Did anyone really believe that?
By Anonymous, on 11:01 AM
I thought she meant that she's only had sex with 2 guys that she remembered. All the rest were nameless faces.
By Vigilante, on 11:09 AM
I think when she said that she only had sex with 2 guys maybe she meant that everyone else were just trannies
By Brandy, on 11:09 AM
Sex with 2 guys? Soooo laughable. haaaaahahahaha
Doesn't she have TWO sex tapes on the market? If so, is it two different men??
If that's the case, I'm supposed to believe she only has sex if it's being recorded. Classy broad. Claaaaassy!
By joejoe, on 11:12 AM
OH WAIT! I like Brandy's version better.
By Vigilante, on 11:13 AM
"only two guys" at the same time...And no way does... "only two guys" at the same time...
And no way does she look like a Grecian Goddess. Sculptures of Aphrodite are full of curves.
By Anonymous, on 11:19 AM
Elijah Blue Allman eh? What does he do anyway? I haven't seen photos of him in years. Is he in a band?
I guess I'm just wondering if he is one of those celebrity kids that has a career just being a celebrity kid. I guess I can surmise that he didn't inherit his father or deceased uncle's musical talent though or I would have heard about him.
By Anonymous, on 11:46 AM
Ahhh, I remember now...the Greek dieity Parisitus, god of diseases and inexplicable fame, usually portrayed as person (historians have been unable to confirm male or female gender due to the shapeless body) with huge feet and a wonky eye.
Unfortunately, most temples dedicated to this little-known deity were destroyed, as Greeks, claiming Parisitus had violated them in their sleep, became enraged when their genitals fell off due to the many diseases spread by the god and burned the temples.
By Anonymous, on 11:46 AM
August 28, 2006 11:46 AM
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!
That is too f***ing funny!!! Great post!
By Anonymous, on 11:51 AM
Paris is a filthy hooker and I hope she is kidnapped by a Chinese drug gang and anal raped until death.
By NinjaDude, on 11:52 AM
11:46, That was great...thanks...!
By Anonymous, on 11:57 AM
"Elijah, the son of Cher and Greg Allman, said he had sex with Paris before she became famous and that he was so worried that he might catch a disease after they did it, he went downstairs and scrubbed his genitals with Tilex."
I don't care who you are, that's some funny shit right there :D
Remember American Pie 2 and the "law of 3"? Using that theory, Paris has banged at least 6 guys....bet there's been a run on Tilex, Valtrex and RID in the past few years.
By lala_land, on 11:57 AM
I listen to Howard Stern over the years and heard quite a few men that were on as guest say they had sex with Paris Hilton.
By Anonymous, on 12:00 PM
Lets see Vincent Gallo, Tom Sizemore just to name a few.
By Anonymous, on 12:14 PM
they are all lucky lucky men
By Anonymous, on 1:00 PM
OMG Parisitus!!!!!!! Great post 11:46am!!!!
ROFL!
By Anonymous, on 1:20 PM
If he was so damn worried about catching something, why did he have sex with her at all?
I would love to see her on a talk show, and have all the guys in the audience announce that they've had sex with her (hopefully untruthfully). Ten to one she'd just accept it, because she can't remember them all.
By Anonymous, on 1:26 PM
Damn, Todd, so are you, like, calling her a whore?
By jeff, on 1:43 PM
maybe she's just being friendly
By Anonymous, on 2:07 PM
die paris hilton, die.
By Anonymous, on 2:22 PM
*shudders* - and this time it's just about the outfit...
T-A-C-K-Y
By starboard, on 8:31 PM
Actually, she does look pretty (not in this outfit though) until you realize that GASP it's Paris Hilton.
I just can't accept the fact that's she's pretty but dammit that's Paris Hilton. Ugh. That's such a waste of a nice body... can't even say she looks nice without feeling weird cause, well, that's her, bah!
By Akarui, on 2:19 AM
Yea Stern is still relevant
By Anonymous, on 7:43 AM
Anon 12:00.........DITTO!
I can remember Deryck Whibley saying he had sex with her, what about Nick Carter, Paris L, Stavros, Rick Salomon, that "fiance" Jason of hers..........that's 5 right there!
She's so stupid she probably thinks that 2 and 5 are equal.
This doesn't even include the HOW many others there must have been...OH! Joe Francis! That's on VIDEO!!! (storage locker contents on ebay)
Matt Leinart.......hmm...anyone else want to throw out a few guesses?
By parissucksliterally, on 11:47 AM
John Paul II
By Anonymous, on 2:11 PM
Brandon Davis...he's living with her as I type this...ugh...
By Anonymous, on 4:06 PM
Elijah Blue's daddy had his share of STDs, so I hear ...
By Kristin, on 12:52 PM
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