yeah well, her spokeswhores claim she had one drink ... call me stupid but having one marguerita usually doesn't make a gal blow illegal.. of course we are talking parisite so yeah, one of any thing usually makes her blow..
That Paris is only trying to get attention for her new album cos it is *shayte*. She is also trying to take the attention away from her body........fat biatch!!!!!!!!
paris hilton is a skag....after she put that trash bag on that pakistani kid on the simple life...i was done with the turkey meat...she should be ban from ALL clubs.
What is this woman famous for? Being Famous. She can't sing, can't F**K, or give head. Doesn't do charity work. This is a sad commentary on American culture. This is how low we have sank.
it irritates me that she wasn't forced to spend the night in jail and then wait until like, fucking noon, for them to finally release her. the way it works for normal people.
not that i have any personal experience, of course.
The way she drives, and the amount she parties, I'm surprised she is even allowed to still have a license. Anybody remember that hit and run where she backed into that honda that was caught on tape? On the plus side, getting clocked by Paris would be lucrative given you could probably sue her ass for millions.
I think she is sliding into a spiral of depression due to being banned from a local haunt, and her dismal records sales. Her other "Paris" based business ventures are not faring well either. She may have reached her peak and is now faced with the inevitable downhill slide into "Info Commerical Land".
Faced with losing her fame and celebrity status she may seek out the Samari answer of ending her existence while attempting to salvage her dignity.
That or she will appear on another crappy reality show....
That person who keeps saying "she's very beautiful and i'm sad that she's not happy"---I think it might also be the one who loves to say: So and So is an aryan goddess. No wonder there's so much jealousy and hate.
If you are one and the same, you are fucking hilarious.
I'm amazed that Paris actually drives. I thought her entourage carried her everywhere in a golden chariot. But I'd like to see her driver's license photo, to see if the DMV made her look as stupid as the rest of us.
But then again, her license photo is probably a picture of her blowing the DMV guy so she wouldn't have to take the road test.
She's had a pretty bad week? Yea I guess everyone who gets a DWI/DUI was having a pretty bad week. No excuses. I love how there's a good explanation why a blood alcohol level is different for Paris, than it is for everyone else.
See you've got to understand.. PARIS only has one pint of blood! That's why one drink gives her a .08!
11:47, it's when one eyes literally goes wonky, and hers does all the time, like it looks larger and more retarded than the other. She might have what they call a dead eye or something. Which means one half of her brain is not working or very nearly dead, which makes me totally unsurprised that she acts and actually is this retarded most of the time.
I know i'll get told off for this, but shit happens everyday to other people. It kind of sucks that she has to have everything she does made fun of.
if I wasn't a nobody, then there would be a dozen pics of me falling on my ass this morning. No thanks. I like the freedom to fall on my ass and know that no ones cares.
It probably was only one drink, she IS small, and she didn't look drunk in the video. I'm just saying.
Dear darling 1:49...the problem, nay the very thing that we all hate paris for is that she's a complete attention whore.
Look at me, I'm not wearing underwear while I exit a car spread eagle! Look at me, I'm so mean to tara reid when she gets denied at a club! Look at me, I'm making a commercial about a cheeseburger so skanky it's banned! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!
she'd fuck a horse if she thought paparazzi would show.
It cuts both ways. If she didn't BEG for attention, she'd just be another (yawn) spoiled little girl.
...ahhh...excuse me: Did Paris have anything to say about the jews when she was picked up...? I'd love to know her geopolitical outlook almost as much as Mel's...
12:05, my guess that the world EXPECTS us to not only make famous a drunken, empty-headed celebutante, but also to send her off to slime her way across the globe.
In any event, I doubt they give Paris much notice, since they're understandably too busy plotting to poison our super-sized McDonalds fries in retaliation for us unleashing BushCo on the world.
Someone reading over my shoulder just made the best comment so I'm going to repeat it.
"Paris got booked? Wow, that's surprising. I'll bet she was shocked and confused when the officer didn't pull the breathalyzer out of his unzipped fly."
Yup. Shocked and confused and maybe a little bit disappointed. Looks good on her.
I was with her last night and know exactly what happened.
Poor Pairs was working 22 hours working on her new video, "Stars are Blind, When the Jizz Gets in the Wonky Eye"
She only had one drink, to wash the jizz taste out of her mouth and to kill the cotton mouth from the blunt she had smoked on her way back from her video shoot.
She really wasn't drunk!!! She was just wore out from having her legs pinned behind her head and jerking off two guys while getting the good old double penetration.
I swear this is the truth, Paris paid me good money to say so.
She's loving the attention this has received. She's a mediawhore through and through.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again....she would call a press conference to snap the necks of kittens if it guaranteed her the cover of next month's ASPCA newsletter.
I TOO wish she would've resisted and been hit with the taser. Afterall, a good number of people who get the taser lose control of their bodily functions.
Paris unconscious on a sidewalk with shit and piss everywhere? Would be a photograph for the ages. :-D
"Have another drink and drive yourself home, I hope there's ice on all the roads, and you can think of me, when you forget your seatbelt, and then next when your head goes through the windshield" - BN
Why, oh why didn't someone shank her while she was in jail??? Don't they McGuyver shanks out of spoons or toothbrushes and stuff in jail? I know stuff like that usually doesn't happen in county, but it IS L.A. County Jail and it IS Paris Hilton. Couldn't someone make an exception? Just this once???
wow the last few commenters have really gone off the deep end...why on earth do you care so deeply about her? she's annoying, just change the channel ya tards.
59 Comments:
Does a stomach full of jizz really count as "empty"?
By Anonymous, on 9:26 AM
yeah well, her spokeswhores claim she had one drink ... call me stupid but having one marguerita usually doesn't make a gal blow illegal.. of course we are talking parisite so yeah, one of any thing usually makes her blow..
www.stingybitches.com/stardumb.html
By dupababy, on 9:29 AM
That Paris is only trying to get attention for her new album cos it is *shayte*. She is also trying to take the attention away from her body........fat biatch!!!!!!!!
Davi
By Anonymous, on 9:30 AM
I want to see the mugshots... Smoking Gun should have them soon hopefully :-)
By Cletuscat, on 9:42 AM
Remember how much she was laughing during the firecrotch rant? That's how hard I'm laughing at her now.
By Anonymous, on 10:03 AM
i believe Tawana Brawley
By Anonymous, on 10:04 AM
she's very beautiful and i'm sad that she's not happy
By Anonymous, on 10:05 AM
god those fucking paparazzi are relentless. making a 2am press conference happen right outside of her house? jeez.
By Anonymous, on 10:13 AM
paris hilton is a skag....after she put that trash bag on that pakistani kid on the simple life...i was done with the turkey meat...she should be ban from ALL clubs.
By Anonymous, on 10:15 AM
That person who keeps saying "she's very beautiful and i'm sad that she's not happy" is starting to make me laugh.
By todd's mom, on 10:24 AM
What is this woman famous for? Being Famous. She can't sing, can't F**K, or give head. Doesn't do charity work. This is a sad commentary on American culture. This is how low we have sank.
By Anonymous, on 10:35 AM
I haven't "sank" anywhere. You're a sad commentary on American culture.
By Anonymous, on 10:40 AM
She's had a pretty bad week...hopefully it keeps getting worse and she commits suicide.
By Anonymous, on 10:48 AM
Actually it could be because she didn't eat all day, therefore nothing to soak up the alcohol with...those anorexics have it tough I tell you!
By Anonymous, on 10:49 AM
when is someone going to do us all a favor and kill paris, please hurry.
By Anonymous, on 10:51 AM
WTF...the little redheaded kid from Entourage... she's dating a midget! What a sick, twisted whore.
By Anonymous, on 10:56 AM
Meh. She's OK. She just needs my tongue in her ass. Simple as that.
By Anonymous, on 11:06 AM
it irritates me that she wasn't forced to spend the night in jail and then wait until like, fucking noon, for them to finally release her. the way it works for normal people.
not that i have any personal experience, of course.
By S., on 11:22 AM
The way she drives, and the amount she parties, I'm surprised she is even allowed to still have a license. Anybody remember that hit and run where she backed into that honda that was caught on tape? On the plus side, getting clocked by Paris would be lucrative given you could probably sue her ass for millions.
Skank whore.
By Anonymous, on 11:29 AM
Terminology question here: What exactly is Paris Hilton's "Wonky Eye"? Is that our little pet name for that sweet, sweet cornhole of hers?
By Anonymous, on 11:47 AM
I think she is sliding into a spiral of depression due to being banned from a local haunt, and her dismal records sales. Her other "Paris" based business ventures are not faring well either. She may have reached her peak and is now faced with the inevitable downhill slide into "Info Commerical Land".
Faced with losing her fame and celebrity status she may seek out the Samari answer of ending her existence while attempting to salvage her dignity.
That or she will appear on another crappy reality show....
By Anonymous, on 11:55 AM
September 07, 2006 11:47 AM
That would be a clever catch phrase, but her "Wonkey Eye" is actually a wonkey eye. Really.
In almost all her pictures her right(?) eye is always at half mast giving her a 'special' look.
By Anonymous, on 11:57 AM
I love the way South Park made fun of Paris Hilton's wonky eye -
http://forum1.fluctuat.net/mesimages/873/paris-hilton-south-park.jpg
http://www-scf.usc.edu/~kamarudd/butters.gif
By Anonymous, on 11:59 AM
Does it piss anyone else off that she is trashing all over the planet representing "America" and American women in general?
As if the world doesn't hate us enough already.
By Anonymous, on 12:05 PM
That person who keeps saying "she's very beautiful and i'm sad that she's not happy"---I think it might also be the one who loves to say: So and So is an aryan goddess. No wonder there's so much jealousy and hate.
If you are one and the same, you are fucking hilarious.
By Anonymous, on 12:13 PM
I'm amazed that Paris actually drives. I thought her entourage carried her everywhere in a golden chariot. But I'd like to see her driver's license photo, to see if the DMV made her look as stupid as the rest of us.
But then again, her license photo is probably a picture of her blowing the DMV guy so she wouldn't have to take the road test.
By Anonymous, on 12:15 PM
She's had a pretty bad week? Yea I guess everyone who gets a DWI/DUI was having a pretty bad week. No excuses. I love how there's a good explanation why a blood alcohol level is different for Paris, than it is for everyone else.
See you've got to understand.. PARIS only has one pint of blood! That's why one drink gives her a .08!
By Anonymous, on 12:18 PM
I wish she had 'resisted arrest'. Then the cops could have Tasered her. That would be funnny segment on "Cops".
By Anonymous, on 12:19 PM
11:47, it's when one eyes literally goes wonky, and hers does all the time, like it looks larger and more retarded than the other. She might have what they call a dead eye or something. Which means one half of her brain is not working or very nearly dead, which makes me totally unsurprised that she acts and actually is this retarded most of the time.
By Anonymous, on 12:37 PM
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let this be the beginning of the end of paris. Please.
I think I'm going to ask Santa for Paris's demise for christmas.
By Anonymous, on 1:02 PM
she is still incredibly hot. we'd all be honored to eat the peanuts in her shit.
honored.
By Anonymous, on 1:07 PM
i think paris is gonna kill herself soon. her album flops, she gets denied from a party, and now a DUI.
but seriously though.........who the fuck cries because they've been denied from getting inside a party. thats what little kids do.
By prettyboy, on 1:22 PM
12:19 Beavis is that you
By Anonymous, on 1:26 PM
It's pretty well known that Paris has genital herpes. Are the people who still say they'd fuck her really that desperate for pussy? That's pretty sad.
By Anonymous, on 1:41 PM
i'd hit her herpied pooper.
By Anonymous, on 1:45 PM
I know i'll get told off for this, but shit happens everyday to other people. It kind of sucks that she has to have everything she does made fun of.
if I wasn't a nobody, then there would be a dozen pics of me falling on my ass this morning. No thanks. I like the freedom to fall on my ass and know that no ones cares.
It probably was only one drink, she IS small, and she didn't look drunk in the video. I'm just saying.
By Anonymous, on 1:49 PM
heh heh heh heh, butthead.
By Anonymous, on 1:49 PM
poor little rich girl
By Anonymous, on 1:52 PM
^ That guy must have herpes too
By Anonymous, on 1:53 PM
she looks asian
By Anonymous, on 1:54 PM
those are definitely asian eyes. i didn't know she was adopted.
By Anonymous, on 1:59 PM
1:49, i hope that paris, her wonky eye and herpied pussy run you over the next time she's drunk driving. which will probably be tonight.
By Anonymous, on 1:59 PM
Dear darling 1:49...the problem, nay the very thing that we all hate paris for is that she's a complete attention whore.
Look at me, I'm not wearing underwear while I exit a car spread eagle!
Look at me, I'm so mean to tara reid when she gets denied at a club!
Look at me, I'm making a commercial about a cheeseburger so skanky it's banned!
Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!
she'd fuck a horse if she thought paparazzi would show.
It cuts both ways. If she didn't BEG for attention, she'd just be another (yawn) spoiled little girl.
By Anonymous, on 2:02 PM
Pic 1: has she got a face only Picasso could love or what?
By braque, on 2:04 PM
1:59, you're REALLY bothered by Paris, huh? Wow.
By Anonymous, on 2:08 PM
2:02, you makes sense. I didn't know that about Paris. I usually change the channel when I see her. She needs to grow up. No wonder.
By Anonymous, on 2:11 PM
...ahhh...excuse me: Did Paris have anything to say about the jews when she was picked up...? I'd love to know her geopolitical outlook almost as much as Mel's...
By Anonymous, on 2:22 PM
12:05, my guess that the world EXPECTS us to not only make famous a drunken, empty-headed celebutante, but also to send her off to slime her way across the globe.
In any event, I doubt they give Paris much notice, since they're understandably too busy plotting to poison our super-sized McDonalds fries in retaliation for us unleashing BushCo on the world.
By S., on 2:39 PM
Oh yeah, Does anyone know if Paris refered to any of the officers as Sugar dick?
By Anonymous, on 2:58 PM
i would love to have just one of those long fingers up my ass.
By Anonymous, on 3:05 PM
Someone reading over my shoulder just made the best comment so I'm going to repeat it.
"Paris got booked? Wow, that's surprising. I'll bet she was shocked and confused when the officer didn't pull the breathalyzer out of his unzipped fly."
Yup. Shocked and confused and maybe a little bit disappointed. Looks good on her.
By Vigilante, on 3:09 PM
... if only this news doesn't seem so disturbingly akin to a cross between the Gibson affair and a blonde joke...
By Anonymous, on 3:30 PM
Aren't all DUIs the result of an empty stomach and working hard all day?
What bullshit.
By Anonymous, on 3:41 PM
I was with her last night and know exactly what happened.
Poor Pairs was working 22 hours working on her new video, "Stars are Blind, When the Jizz Gets in the Wonky Eye"
She only had one drink, to wash the jizz taste out of her mouth and to kill the cotton mouth from the blunt she had smoked on her way back from her video shoot.
She really wasn't drunk!!! She was just wore out from having her legs pinned behind her head and jerking off two guys while getting the good old double penetration.
I swear this is the truth, Paris paid me good money to say so.
I owe my entire pathetic career to her.
Pepperz!
By Perez Hilton, on 5:57 PM
For this item, I will have to quite good ol' Mr. Handel...
HHAAAAAAALLLEEELUJAH! HAAAAAAALLEEELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! HAAAA-LAAAAY-LOOOOO-YAAAAHHH...
By Anonymous, on 12:36 AM
She's loving the attention this has received. She's a mediawhore through and through.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again....she would call a press conference to snap the necks of kittens if it guaranteed her the cover of next month's ASPCA newsletter.
I TOO wish she would've resisted and been hit with the taser. Afterall, a good number of people who get the taser lose control of their bodily functions.
Paris unconscious on a sidewalk with shit and piss everywhere? Would be a photograph for the ages. :-D
By joejoe, on 8:18 AM
Paris:
"Have another drink and drive yourself home, I hope there's ice on all the roads, and you can think of me, when you forget your seatbelt, and then next when your head goes through the windshield" - BN
By Anonymous, on 8:19 AM
Why, oh why didn't someone shank her while she was in jail??? Don't they McGuyver shanks out of spoons or toothbrushes and stuff in jail? I know stuff like that usually doesn't happen in county, but it IS L.A. County Jail and it IS Paris Hilton. Couldn't someone make an exception? Just this once???
By shank the bitch, please!, on 1:48 PM
wow the last few commenters have really gone off the deep end...why on earth do you care so deeply about her? she's annoying, just change the channel ya tards.
By Anonymous, on 10:44 PM
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