Paris Hilton is a Problem
When Paris Hilton appears in court next month to face her DUI charge, they won't throw her into a pit of lions as my petition clearly laid out, but she may be ordered to attend mandatory AA meetings. However, Moderation Management, a center which promotes moderation instead of abstinence, has invited Paris to receive alcohol abuse counseling at their facility. The owner, Marc Kern states:Paris is obviously an early stage problem drinker, and an abstinence group is an overkill and inappropriate for a celebrity...To mandate that Paris Hilton attend an abstinence-only support group is counterproductive and is not really going to help, if our goal is to rehabilitate or educate. "What is best for her? Paris needs Moderation Management, not AA."
Paris might be an early stage problem drinker, but we would all feel a lot safer if she was in the early stages of the ebola virus. Then died. This used up skank could be clean and sober from now on or have to be turned on her side when the paramedics come, I could give a shit less about either one. I could accidentally hit Paris with my truck then get out and give bystanders high fives to make them think I did it on purpose.
Paris at Hef's 80th birthday becuase we haven't used them yet and she's a slut:
Source
54 Comments:
I wish I had a bunch of nice looking women at my birthdays. :)
By Anonymous, on 8:59 AM
i wish you did too anonymous but really you don't want the skankpatrol with parasite there.. cause you know, most boys i know really like their genitalia free of boils and warts.. right?
By dupababy, on 9:19 AM
Moderation Management?
Can't say as I've ever heard of this establishment. But now everyone will know who they are because they've jumped on Parisite's bandwagon.
Publicity, publicity, publicity........nothing more.......
Maybe I should offer Parisite some hatchling cornsnakes to occupy her time so she'll not have the time to get wasted and go driving? Even if she turns down the offer, I'll still be the world's most talked about cornsnake breeder. Pure genius I tell ya! *cue evil laugh*
........
Gotta love photo 4.....'Am I pushing my barely-there boobs together well enough for the cameras?'
Sluuuuuuuut!
Sorry, I mean disease-infested-impaired-driving sluuuuuuut!
By joejoe, on 9:21 AM
This sorry-ass skank is already yesterday's news! Todd, I wish u would hit her with your truck, it would be a form of public service! :-)
By Anonymous, on 9:22 AM
to these pictures, there will be much public hating and private fapfapfapping
By Anonymous, on 9:38 AM
Anyone got a quarter? Gimme it and I'll off this wonky-eyed twat! Hell, I'll do it for a nickel!
By Anonymous, on 10:06 AM
I've been to those MM meetings. They basically teach you to drink slower. So instead of slamming down shots, I sip them now. And no more beer bongs - I drink them slowly from a nice frosty mug! It's kind of like etiquette for alcoholics.
Now if I could just get Kelly Clarkson to join me in their eating classes...
By Anonymous, on 10:10 AM
I want to be Paris when I grow up.
By Anonymous, on 10:29 AM
Ok..it that last picture she is wearing Niki's slip as well which raises an interesting question.
By Anonymous, on 10:58 AM
You've gotta feel bad for the sister. Paris looks like a sexual stallion and Nickie looks like a ghost in Edith Bunker's nightgown. That can't be easy.
By Anonymous, on 10:58 AM
Fine, she's a moron and she drives drunk. Whoop-de-doo. That's 2 things she has in common with 95% people here.
Fine, she has a wonky eye. I'd lick her wonky asshole.
By Anonymous, on 11:00 AM
she looks like gloria swanson in "sunset blvd" in pic #2. i.e., totally insane.
By Anonymous, on 11:33 AM
Todd is hilarious.
By spark, on 11:55 AM
Anonymous said...
I want to be Paris when I grow up.
September 21, 2006 10:29 AM
thats a tricky request, considering being Paris Hilton means never growing up.
By Anonymous, on 11:59 AM
Moderation Managment is a joke, it was founded by a woman, Audrey Kishline who later admitted that MM doesnt really work. She got hammered, drove the wrong way down an interstate and plowed into a man and his young daughter, killing them both. This is obviously the best plan for Paris.
http://www.reason.com/0011/fe.sp.after.shtml
By Anonymous, on 12:17 PM
I hate to admit it, but in these pictures Paris looks skankily attractive. I still wouldn't touch her though.
By Anonymous, on 1:03 PM
I'm sorry but did nicky and paris like switch clothes before they got out of the limo? the first, third and forth photo's show paris in her skankish fashion the second clearly shows nicky wearing something someone with some class would wear and the last one is paris wearing what nicky has on, WTF is the deal?
By Anonymous, on 1:06 PM
I think Parisitus controls Nicky's wardrobe...I mean Nicky can (occaisionally) look half-decent, when she's without her skankier half. But then when they're together, Slutty McDiseased wears as little clothing as possible, and Nicky looks frumpy.
There must be some sort of blackmail involved. Paris has probably threatened to give Kevin Connelly the clap/syphillis/gonorrhea/herpes/AIDS and whatever else she's got.
By Anonymous, on 1:10 PM
yeah the guys are all lying on this one. if she showed up at their doors dressed like this, none would kick her out. it'd be a nightmare in the morning, but that wouldn't matter right now, it never does. there's always some skank that everybody talks about hating, yet who manages to boink even the good guys by knowing how to undress. fuckin guys.
By Anonymous, on 1:28 PM
Does it not affect her at all how much she is universally hated and made fun of by everyone? She must have a damn thick skin. Something the Army should look into.
Having said that, I'd plow the shit out of her in this get-up, and I hate this bitch like everyone else. Behold the power of a tarted-up pussy.
By damone, on 2:45 PM
Paris is one hott bitch
By KissMyAss, on 2:53 PM
You know what the saddest thing is? The woman who founded "Moderation Management" (yes, a real thing) killed a man and his daughter when she blacked out from drinking and drove the wrong way down a highway.
By chicka, on 2:57 PM
if only she were driving more moderately
By Anonymous, on 3:05 PM
she's cute. she's not lindsay lohan vaginally cute, but she's cute.
By Anonymous, on 3:14 PM
I must hide under anonimity to say this.
Paris looks hot as hell in these pics, I'd fuck her up one side and down the other.
Then probably die a slow painful death.
By Anonymous, on 3:29 PM
I would love it if Paris (for her DUI) has to do community service and has to pick up trash off the 405.
By parissucksliterally, on 3:59 PM
chicka said:
You know what the saddest thing is? The woman who founded "Moderation Management" (yes, a real thing) killed a man and his daughter when she blacked out from drinking and drove the wrong way down a highway.
Yes, that is real sad. But also realize she had quit the MM program and was actually on the AA program at the time of the accident. That makes it even sadder.
By Anonymous, on 4:48 PM
parissucksliterally -
Trash picking up trash...
whoa
By keanu, on 5:38 PM
HUGE feet
By Anonymous, on 6:18 PM
How disgusting does she look..her pear-ish body shape reminds me of Mischa Barton.
By Anonymous, on 7:01 PM
What's up with her garter belts randomly attaching and detaching in the pictures?
Why do Ihave the feeling she's been in and out of that lingerie at the party???
By Anonymous, on 7:04 PM
hold on guys, let me explain something to the parisite.
LINGERIE ONLY WORKS WHEN THERE IS SOMETHING APPEALING UNDER IT.
By Anonymous, on 9:42 PM
.her pear-ish body shape reminds me of Mischa Barton.
mischa is a million times hotter than this whore
By Anonymous, on 9:42 PM
the success rate for AA is very, very low. not that AA is bad, but it makes you question whether it's the best program for all addicts.
By Anonymous, on 9:43 PM
9:42 PM you might want to repost, i think your boyfriend was yelling something at you
By Anonymous, on 9:54 PM
If paris hilton Sucked anymore she's be a spokes person for Hoover!
By SmokT, on 11:53 PM
Are you sure those pics of paris and her sister arent them working at their jobs, hookers in hollywood :O)
By ANGEL, on 3:11 AM
You sure those pics of paris and her sister arent them working at thier jobs, hookers in hollywood :o)
By ANGEL, on 3:12 AM
you know who's gay? guys who think MADONNA is hot.
By Anonymous, on 4:05 AM
It's Paris Hilton... who gives a shit any which way?
The only thing that made me smile about this post
was the revelation that there is finally a reasonable alternative
to A.A.'s cultish brainwashing
jesus-sucking moronity.
By HairlessMonkeyDK, on 8:26 AM
AA has a small success rate but it is still the best available in the treatment world - short of institutionalizing someone. And anyone who has self-professed alcohol dependency and drinks and drives is not really on any kind of program but their own.
By Anonymous, on 9:54 AM
You can find Atheist AA groups all over the country... and the world. so much disinfo...
By Anonymous, on 9:56 AM
AA has a small success rate but it is still the best available in the treatment world - short of institutionalizing someone.
that's said over and over again but there's no way to verify it. hospitals and clinics open their charts to researchers who calculate real-number effectiveness rates. AA doesn't do that, because of the second "A" - no names, no charting, no nothing. fair enough. but stop the propaganda about effectiveness, you're not helping people with that. it's very unlikely that AA beats well-run treatment clinics, which can also handle all the other problems (medical and psychiatric) that alcoholics tend to have.
By Anonymous, on 12:33 PM
smokt 11:53
wow that was a good call.. do you write your own stuff??
..dumbass.
By Anonymous, on 1:06 PM
she actually looks kinda fat in pics 3 and 4 it looks like she has a big gut in number 4..
By Anonymous, on 1:17 PM
agreed. i don't even care about her personality or sex habits or whatever. no fat cow should ever parade around as if she's hot. it's disgusting.
By Anonymous, on 1:49 PM
lmao @ 1:06 PM
By Bitch, on 4:25 PM
I didn't get it... Why are they dressed like that?
Sorry, but I'm from Brasil, so I have no idea why they are wearing that to a party. I've got surprised!
By Renata Appel, on 5:16 PM
she looks pregnant in pic #4..
maybe??..
By Anonymous, on 7:23 PM
I'm always hoping that herpes could kill somebody, and that somebody is definitely without a doubt Paris Hilton. She's not only a problem "drinker", she pretty much symbolizes ALL that is WRONG with American society.
By Anonymous, on 1:37 PM
Yoy all know how everyone is always talking about Paris' 1 facial expression?
Well you guys have got to check this out
http://www.linkydinky.com/ParisStrikeaPose.shtml
Too damn funny.
By Bitch, on 6:58 PM
6:58 thats a good one
By Anonymous, on 7:02 PM
Nothing wrong with Paris that a good series of spirited ass spankings wouldn't cure.
Send the rich slut on over to bunbeatingfun.com and I promise you she'll be behaving like a nice, demure young lady in no time.
Hey, even if we fail.....it's not like we won't have fun trying ;)
~Bun Stinger
By bunstinger, on 7:40 PM
Nothing wrong with Paris that a good series of spirited ass spankings wouldn't cure.
Send the rich slut on over to bunbeatingfun.com and I promise you she'll be behaving like a nice, demure young lady in no time.
Hey, even if we fail.....it's not like we won't have fun trying ;)
~Bun Stinger
By bunstinger, on 7:41 PM
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