IDontLikeYouInThatWay.com

Eva Longoria is a Slut

Several news sources reported last week that Eva Longoria and her boyfriend of two years, Spurs' point guard Tony Parker, had split because the couple was "going through a difficult time." Now we know why:

Longoria was "two-timing" Parker with "Dancing with the Stars" hunk Mario Lopez, according to Us magazine...But now, according to Us, Longoria is "filled with regret and has called it quits with Lopez. Tony and Eva are talking and trying to work it out."

I'm not really sure what there is to work out. Eva Longoria's vagina is like that thing that Jabba the Hutt tried to throw Luke in. It's always open and it's always hungry. Instead of a condom, Tony Parker probably has to use a boxing glove.

More of Longoria at the Ken Paves salon opening:

Source

45 Comments:

So then todd makes fun of eva and janet to pacify the whiners

By Anonymous, on 9:40 AM
She's just not attractive enough for me to care too much.
However, *high five* to Slater for making any sort of news at all.

By Anonymous, on 9:41 AM
eva longwhoria's vejayjay is the grand canyon? that shit is too funny..

By dupababy, on 9:46 AM
paves is the cutest chick of the bunch

By Anonymous, on 9:48 AM
Ugh. She's a nasty, loathsome beaner... but for some reason, that gives me a bit of a chub.

By Anonymous, on 9:51 AM
who recommended this new look for her? she suddenly looks older and less attractive. hopefully she couldn't see her reflection because tony hit her in the eyes with some revenge skeet.

By Anonymous, on 9:56 AM
Someone, somewhere, just lost a hundred bucks...

By Vigilante, on 9:56 AM
nope, nobody took the bet (wisely)

By Anonymous, on 10:04 AM
Hilarious. She cheated on her boyfriend with the greasiest, talentless B-List Mexican in show business.
But, it's OK, he knows how to dance.

Way to perpetuate stereotypes, Eva.

By Anonymous, on 10:06 AM
If Tony has any self respect at all, he will DTB.

By Anonymous, on 10:13 AM
The only thing to "work out", should be how fast she can get all of her shit out of Tonys' house. Sack up Tony, toss the bitch out.

By Anonymous, on 10:22 AM
Kelly says pass the sour cream and guacamole.

By Anonymous, on 10:22 AM
I love it when Kelly talks about food.

By Justin, on 10:25 AM
Anything to keep this snank in the news, huh? Who gives a damn who's giving her the Dirty Sanchez? Her 15 minutes were up after the 100th article on her sexual preferences. Unless she vag-traps a REAL celebrity, same time next year she'll be slinging tacos in Tijuana.

By Anonymous, on 10:50 AM
People dislike Eva Longoria even more than the President

By Anonymous, on 10:55 AM
so your saying i can serve up lunch?

By Anonymous, on 12:00 PM
so your saying i can serve up lunch?

By Anonymous, on 12:00 PM
You people seem to be missing the real news here. Mario Lopez is straight?

By Lily, on 12:43 PM
this is too bad. i think she had real talent. earlier in her career she changed the sheets and towels in 10 rooms in under 5 minutes.

By Anonymous, on 1:11 PM
I believe the thing Jabba the Hutt tried to throw Luke Skywalker in was called the Sarlacc Pit. So Eva Longoria's vagina has spikes and a creepy tentacle coming out of it.

By Anonymous, on 1:55 PM
Dude, now that you've got rid of the ho, relish in it. You don't welcome a rabid dog back inside.

By Anonymous, on 2:13 PM
This chihuahua gets uglier by the minute. The 6-pound makeup on her face dont work anymore either.

By Anonymous, on 2:25 PM
Hope the asinine bigoted remarks make the people who typed them feel better about their pathetic internet-based lives.

By Anonymous, on 2:31 PM
=
==== Yeah, I thought it was kind of funny that she went to see Mario because she wanted to 'support' him. Get out of here1 He's supposedly dating his dance partner, so wake up Eva! He's getting the last laugh!

By ya ya, on 3:00 PM
Mario Lopez can not be straight, There's no way that guy sleeps with women. I'd belive Tom Cruise is in to women before I'd belive Mario is.

By Anonymous, on 3:00 PM
Alicia says Eva would go well with chipotle sauce.

By Anonymous, on 3:21 PM
By "work it out" they mean Tony has to eat her shit.

By Anonymous, on 3:25 PM
Pfff, this is only one of many she's fucked around with. Hell, just off the top my head I can think of two others: Tommy Lee and Jamie Foxx.
Who knows how many others there are.

By Anonymous, on 3:28 PM
"Filled with regret" my ass. She's a whore and doesn't regret a thing.
Mario probably got sick of her and dumped her ass is all. The rest is PR bullshit to make her look like a 'nice girl'.

By Anonymous, on 3:30 PM
I'm pretty sure Eva and Jessica have the same makeup artist... Which is unfortunate, since I know ten-year-old girls who have more skill than that douche. Oh well, I guess you can't airbrush public appearances...

By Anonymous, on 4:50 PM
Jeez... I can't stand her. Her BF has more talent is his little French dick than she has in her whole nasty Rican body, and she cheats on him with a complete fucking greaseball.
She's nothing but a fucking whore, she belongs on a Tijuana streetcorner, not in front of a camera. Fuck whatever truckdriver smuggled this snank into the country. Send her back, along with the shitheads who fucked up the paint job on my house.

Wow, I'm full of hate.

By Anonymous, on 5:27 PM
This bitch needs to change these god damn bed sheets 'fore I deport her skanky ass back to Mexico.

By Anonymous, on 7:47 PM
Hope the asinine bigoted remarks make the people who typed them feel better about their pathetic internet-based lives.

i dictate my comments to my illegal mexican typist ($0.25/hr), dunno if she feels better or not. but thanks for you kind interest.

By Anonymous, on 9:35 PM
Is Eva pre-op or post-op?

By Smartie, on 9:55 PM
To quote Jim Carey....I think she's got a little cheeeeeeeeeeeese on her taco....

Someone's baking bread, and it's smells like........sourdough.

By Anonymous, on 12:19 AM
oh she's "filled with regret" after fucking other guys. what a dumb slutty ho.

By Anonymous, on 9:46 AM
"regret" is a performance artist in nyc. they like doing their names like that.

By Anonymous, on 10:35 AM
That's what Lopez gets for cheating on Ali Landry! Eva is a woman-ho Mario is a ho-boy. I wonder who has more STD's? Eva or Mario? All the bad things he did to poor Ali have come back to hurt his EGO. Ali Landry is so fresh and clean she makes Racheal Ray look like Rosie O'donnel the gay lady of the sea.... In the world of Ho's Paris Hlton is only more WHORE-IFICK then Eva LongWhoria

By Double O' Bond 007, on 5:38 PM
The sarlaac? BWHAHAHAHAH!

By Guinastasia, on 9:22 PM
WOW FINALLY SOME PEOPLE WHO DO NOT LIKE EVA LANDOUCHEBAG , ALL I SEE ON TV IS PEOPLE LICKING HER TURD CUTTER ALL DAY LONG ,,OH HOW HOT SHE IS OH HOW PRETTY SHE IS BLAH BLAH BLAH THERE ARE PICS OF HER WITH NO MAKEUP ON AND DAMN THAT BITCH IS FUBR VERY NASTY , WHAT THE HELL WAS SHE DOING BEFORE DESPERATE HOUSE SLUTS ???

By Anonymous, on 1:48 AM
When do the men get called slutty?

From what I recall, Mario "Slater" Lopez cheated on his wife, like, during their honeymoon. And he was married to that hot Doritos chick.

By Hyperbole, on 12:24 PM
Hyperbole, that's life, honey. Sorry.

Men get to fuck around and still be accepted in society... women get Title 9 and field hockey. The world is all about compromise.

Now go make me a sandwich.

By Anonymous, on 2:16 PM
Ew she's so nasty looking (like a trannie with a bad face job), when did she start getting all the attention? Because she started whoring around with A.C. Slater!

By Anonymous, on 10:32 PM
I'm from Corpus Chrisit, Tx where eva is from and everyone has always known her to be a slut. she fucks anything that moves!!!!

By Anonymous, on 1:03 AM
lol..ur all goofs.. eva is gorgeous, maybe a slut.. but gorgeous

By Anonymous, on 3:56 PM