Britney Spears is a Big Fat Liar
I assure you it pains me more than it pains you to have a home page full of Brit and K-Fed posts, but nobody said life is fair, people, and I never said Britney and Kevin weren't talentless fugs with publicists. Turns out Britney lied about her wedding. She staged her photo op "Pimps and Maids" track suit wedding on September 18th, 2004 and according to her divorce docs, she wasn't legally married until October 6th, 2004. When The Smoking Gun and US Weekly asked Britney's handlers about these "faux wedding" legal documents back in September 2004, Britney's reps said,This is all ludicrous. They are happily married, and I have no reason to believe otherwise"
It allegedly took nearly a month to make the marriage official because the people Britney hired to do her thinking for her had one collective heart attack when they heard about Britney's "surprise" wedding and insisted she make K-Fed sign a prenuptial agreement before the marriage was for reals, y'all, which is one of many times they saved her millions from being flushed down the toilet. Britney was reportedly worth $32 million at the time of her wedding to K-Fed. I swear if it weren't for MC Hammer being "generous" enough to lose his entire fortune to a bunch of parasites several years ago, Britney would be chomping gum in your ear whilst trying to sell you Soap Opera Digest and weight loss pills on the phone today. I'm pretty sure I should hate Hammer for that.
I love candid Britney so much, I had to post these again. She's so hot.
Source: Thanks to TMZ
36 Comments:
Aye Dios!!! No Mas Britney, por favor!!!!!
By meagan, on 5:49 PM
Dam, you are cruel. Keep up the good work. Look at pic #6. You should sound the whale alert collision alarm. THAR SHE BLOWS.
By Anonymous, on 5:54 PM
the one where she is pregnant with the big mommy nipps is still a good one.
By Anonymous, on 6:00 PM
wow look at that ass crater in pic 7!
By Anonymous, on 6:19 PM
Good Lord.
I'm never going to Disneyland again as long as i live. I hate Walt for subjecting me to this hag.
By Anonymous, on 6:26 PM
That lead pic is so good you had to use it twice. I keep thinking its Joan Rivers!
By Anonymous, on 6:28 PM
Ah, those pictures highlight the true essence of Britney Spears.
By Dan, on 6:56 PM
I bet christina aguilera is squirming to hear this, I'm so glad.
By Anonymous, on 7:17 PM
Now I'm not gay or anything, but I suspect K-Fed has a huge schlong and knows how to use it. I think that is actually what his appeal was to Britney in the first place: I think he was the first guy to properly shag her and she mistook that for some kind of mystical love connection. I mean come on, to that point in her life her benchmark was Justin Timberlake for crying out loud. An old car with a broken engine mount would have probably provided a more stimulating sexual experience.
And by the way, have you ever seen Shar Jackson? I doubt she would have had two K-Fed shorties unless he was bringing the meat.
By coolpapaboze, on 7:33 PM
With each of those pics, I expect to see a gap-toothed grin, and hear Britney going "HAW HAW HAW SNORT!"
By Anonymous, on 7:44 PM
What a classy lady...
By Anonymous, on 8:02 PM
pic #3 Good lord dimples!
By Anonymous, on 8:09 PM
I think you're holding back on us - where's the shots of her chawing terbaccy and spittin' it? And going the full pick front and back? Plus the clearing out of the sinus cavities onto the road?
And the rest of you are reading this and imagining Shitney doing this, because she's such white trash it's plausible. Now, do you think she'll make any sort of a comeback in a world where people believe she can snort snot onto the footpath? Hmmmm....
By Smartie, on 8:22 PM
Not proud of this, but I looked at the ass shot. I just had to.
At least it didn't do anything for me, thank God....
By Anonymous, on 8:28 PM
Premier Britney! I hear, in home country of Kazakhstan, they make sexy time with yellow hair woman like you with tight man anus. High Five!
p.s. Do you have much plow experience?
By Borat, on 8:37 PM
so what does all this mean for their pre-nup?
By Anonymous, on 8:45 PM
This is such a great publicity move for her, it's not even funny!
By Anonymous, on 9:49 PM
Ewww...her skin is freakin' disgusting! All that money and bitch can't afford a DERMATOLOGIST? BTW...pic #7 with the snot rocket is beyond foul...again, if I had her money I'd be blowing my nose on Benjamins...can't imagine why KFed wasn't interested!!!
By Anonymous, on 11:12 PM
she is from Louisiana. i think this explains a lot of her behaviour
By Anonymous, on 4:58 AM
very nice!...I will make her my new wife...I have wedding sack ready! sexytime!
By borot, on 5:33 AM
whats really hilarious is that she is going to come back probably after taking some etiquette classes...kfug probably told her to just be herself...which is what her publicist and her pr people told her not to do for years so she let herself go and then she had a nice little chitty chat with her publicist and she said britney, lets review the past four years yes? and shows her pics of her fat ass in a bikini, pics of her from the wedding, clips from chaotic and from the "interview", and looked at britney at the end of it all and britney actually looks surprised, chomping away at gum, and goes wha? then her pub. slapped her in the face and called her a dumb slut and said that if she didnt dump the fuck face and get on with her life, clean up and act like a lady there was no way that she would ever be in the biz again so brit looked at the frozen screen of her interview with lauer started to cry and said ok...thats how i think it went
By whaatswrongwithcocaineee?, on 6:55 AM
whats really hilarious is that she is going to come back probably after taking some etiquette classes...kfug probably told her to just be herself...which is what her publicist and her pr people told her not to do for years so she let herself go and then she had a nice little chitty chat with her publicist and she said britney, lets review the past four years yes? and shows her pics of her fat ass in a bikini, pics of her from the wedding, clips from chaotic and from the "interview", and looked at britney at the end of it all and britney actually looks surprised, chomping away at gum, and goes wha? then her pub. slapped her in the face and called her a dumb slut and said that if she didnt dump the fuck face and get on with her life, clean up and act like a lady there was no way that she would ever be in the biz again so brit looked at the frozen screen of her interview with lauer started to cry and said ok...thats how i think it went
By whaatswrongwithcocaineee?, on 6:55 AM
It means the people she hired to do her thinking were SMART. They were not LEGALLY married until the license was filed. The license wasn't filed until after the prenup was signed. Her chicken fingers/sweatsuits/mini dress November rain wedding was not legally binding.
Prenup stands. She should be thanking her lucky stars she hired people smarter than her.
By Anonymous, on 7:22 AM
so what if she lied about her wedding date. the important thing is she got the prenup! but.. i'm sure k skid will still be wealthy when this is all over because of the stupid wiggers that are buying his music and whatever other crap he's trying to sell. i think he needs to be dangled over a balcony the way suge knight did to vanilla ice.
By Anonymous, on 7:23 AM
Now I'm not gay or anything, but I suspect K-Fed has a huge schlong and knows how to use it.
too true. i oil-squirted just sitting here (on my inflatable donut ring) reading that.
By Anonymous, on 8:10 AM
Thanks, Jenny, for reminding me of what this woman is really like.
KEVIN, SPARE US. DO NOT SELL THE SEX TAPE!
By Anonymous, on 8:26 AM
Poor K-Fed. Imagine having to wake up to that thing in pic 2.
By Anonymous, on 8:28 AM
i would hit her fat-dimpled crack-that-defies-bikini pooper. then give her a nice skeeting on her face and boobs while she's in that splayed leg position. the outcome (so to speak) is previewed in pic 4.
By Anonymous, on 8:40 AM
sorry to steal the thunder from shitney, but theres a bigger turd to roast here. i just saw the anna nicole c-section clip and i have to say, what the fuck? she is such a drama queen i don't remember acting like that when i had my c -section. i was numb from the chest down and high on morphine! the most painful part was getting the spinal block. big needles in your spine hurts! but once that shit kicks in? you feel nothing. i feel bad for the loss of her son, but i think she overacted this surgery for the intent of selling it later. she moaning and groaning like shes delivering naturally. even the doctor is giving her this fake sympathy. he sounds frazzled.
By Anonymous, on 8:46 AM
supposedly if you're addicted to opiates you're sort of fucked when you experience real medical pain, because the (legal) drugs don't work as well for you at their normal doses. but probably it's just because ANS is a fruitcake.
By Anonymous, on 9:12 AM
if britney has a total victory in court and kfed gets next to nothing, i'd lick his anus to comfort him. just so you know.
By Anonymous, on 9:14 AM
she is from Louisiana. i think this explains a lot of her behaviour
I'm from Louisiana and most people don't act like that. She's trash. Period. Her home state has nothing to do with it. She just makes us look bad.
By CheeryBitch, on 12:19 PM
Whatevers the reason, she had ammo hidden to spring a good rug pulling from under that jerk in the end. God is good.
By d mumsie, on 6:01 AM
ahh yes... classic white trash. can't get better than these! I just don't think no matter how she tries, she will always be white trash Britney to me!
By Anonymous, on 9:18 PM
Sex tape is REAL:
http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/story_pages/showbiz/showbiz1.shtml
By Anonymous, on 11:51 AM
Sex tape is REAL:
http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/story_pages/showbiz/showbiz1.shtml
By Anonymous, on 11:51 AM
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