Ryan Phillippe Cheated

39 Comments:

  • he must ejaculate vinegar, judging by the expressions on his boinkee's faces

    By Anonymous, on 9:44 AM  

  • so wait, is she the sister of the guy he cheated with?

    By Anonymous, on 9:46 AM  

  • incriminating email:
    "Ryan, I just don't think I can wear that dildo anymore, and I don't think it's normal for you to refer to anal bleeding as your 'orgasm'. Please stop calling. -Abbie"

    By Anonymous, on 9:49 AM  

  • Since Reese Witherspoon could levitate buildings with her mutant brain inside her enormous forehead

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA **Breathes** HAHAHAHAAHAHA :D

    By Anonymous, on 9:52 AM  

  • kelly wants a brooklyn hot dog.

    By Anonymous, on 9:52 AM  

  • Surely he could have cheated with someone hotter? This chick's not ugly, but very average looking.

    Looks like she's got some junk in the trunk, though. Perfect for doggy.

    By Anonymous, on 10:08 AM  

  • I've always heard rumors that Reese was kind of a bitch. She didn't really get on with Joaquin Phoenix supposedly, and apparently Ryan was overheard saying "well she finally found my replacement" after she won the Oscar.

    By Anonymous, on 10:11 AM  

  • Looks like she's got some junk in the trunk, though

    what what what?! my god, your worship of nicole richie has just doomed 1000 teenage girls to a slow death by anorexia! how can you live with yourself? this girl is thinner-than-normal, not chubby! it's her hair. or her clothes. or the colors. or maybe the air. anyway, die, you pedophile bastard!

    By Anonymous, on 10:14 AM  

  • i think he actually said "well she finally found a sex toy for me" when he saw the statue

    By Anonymous, on 10:15 AM  

  • Kelly says she will saute those 1,000 dead teenage girls with butter and garlic, if no one else wants 'em.

    By Anonymous, on 10:18 AM  

  • Alicia says she'll bring the grits

    By Anonymous, on 10:24 AM  

  • I've got the grape soda....

    By Vigilante, on 10:30 AM  

  • "junk in the trunk"????????????/

    You need some help you sick pedophile!

    By Anonymous, on 10:38 AM  

  • Anon 10:14
    WTF are YOU talking bout?

    By Anonymous, on 10:47 AM  

  • Will there be punch and pie?

    By Anonymous, on 10:57 AM  

  • Of course! Who doesn't love punch and pie?

    It will be grape punch though, with little floatie blocks of frozen fruit in it, so you might want to bring your own drinks.

    EVERYONE'S INVITED!

    (Kelly...KELLY! Put down that box of candy! We're going to need more propane and barbecue sauce!)

    By Vigilante, on 11:18 AM  

  • major DOWNGRADE!

    By Anonymous, on 11:31 AM  

  • major DOWNGRADE!

    By Anonymous, on 11:31 AM  

  • There goes another Hollywood marriage. Why do these people even bother trying? Every relationship in Tinseltown is bound to fail, so the more successful of every pair should just sign over half their wealth right after the wedding to preempt alimony hearings. Tough luck if the other person becomes more succesful during the course of the marriage.

    By Nika, on 11:48 AM  

  • Thisi is Hilarious, what is junk in the trunk anyway?

    By C Del Sur, on 11:53 AM  

  • actually this is the most telling piece of evidence that reese is a bitch in real life. after awhile, a husband will go for any girl who's not sour and bitchy, even if she's way less attractive, just because it's so rewarding to be with somebody who doesn't verbally cut your balls off every 5 minutes.

    By Anonymous, on 11:54 AM  

  • dunno, i heard closeted homos can perform better with uglier women. maybe he's drifting toward an actual fag-hag encounter before he decides to "do some acting exercises" with tom cruise, or "take a flight" with john travolta.

    By Anonymous, on 11:57 AM  

  • Show me the most beautiful girl in the world and I'll show you a guy who's tired of fucking her. Not that I think that she's the most beautiful, but you get the idea.

    By Anonymous, on 12:51 PM  

  • I bet this isn't his first time cheating.
    He's hot. I'd definitely sleep with him.

    By Anonymous, on 2:04 PM  

  • That would be cool if this new girl blew up in Hollywood and won an Oscar. Then other 'aspiring actresses' would seek Ryan out, sorta like a reverse "Sports Illustrated cover curse" type thing...

    By Anonymous, on 2:15 PM  

  • there have been rumors for years that reese knew he was cheating because she found astroglyde and semen on the back of his boxers

    By Anonymous, on 2:18 PM  

  • This girl looks like she could sit on Ryan and kill him. Forget the Kelly jokes, this girl is lard ass.

    Abbie the fattie, ha ha ha ha...

    By Anonymous, on 2:30 PM  

  • I actually don't think Phillipe is gay. Gyllenhaal and Bloom yes, but I think this guy is straight.

    By Anonymous, on 2:32 PM  

  • Phillipe agrees, Gyllenhaal and Bloom are totally gay, he says their dicks always taste like shit.

    By Anonymous, on 3:13 PM  

  • Phillipe was to much of a chicken shit to tell her (that it was over), so he allowed Reese to find the text messages so she would divorce him.

    By Anonymous, on 3:20 PM  

  • Ahh yes a man never cheats because he's an asshole led by his dick; he cheats because his wife's a bitch. Makes so much sense. Why did feminists burn bras when they could have been burning the miniscule brains of the shitheads who think up this dumb crap.

    By Anonymous, on 4:14 PM  

  • Shithead men have miniscule brains? I didn't know that. I just assumed they had no brains at all.

    It would be nice to burn men's brains, wouldn't it? I think they could only burn bras because of this rather unfortunate thing called pre-meditated homocide. So up with the lingerie and home to bitch at the husband, who in turn went to the local watering hole to complain his wife was a total cunt, which was in turn overheard by the beer-soaked floozie at the end of the bar, yada yada yada and ba da bing...they end up making out in the backseat of his crappy car. They get seen by his neighbour, neighbour goes home tells his wife, who tells her best friend the bra-burner, who confronts her brainless cheating husband and he says (in his sad defence).....

    "Well, if you weren't so much of a bitch then I could almost stand living with you!"

    Yeah, it's always the woman's fault. But it's only because (some) men are too willing to pass the buck.

    By Vigilante, on 4:41 PM  

  • Yeah, looks like she ate Reese.... and the kids.

    By Anonymous, on 8:47 PM  

  • You guys have got to be kidding when you say Abbie Cornish is fat.

    She is a size 8 Australian, which is a size SIX American... Unless you are smaller than her or also a size six for fuck sake , get a life!

    I bet it's easier to sit and rip someone else apart, rather than admit that your a fat fuck and no lady/man would ever want to breed with you.

    Pathetic...

    By Anonymous, on 1:11 AM  

  • Um, there is no way Abbie Cornish is an Australian 8, more like a ten or maybe twelve. An eight is a standard dress mannequin size. Abbie Cornish really shits me, she's one of those flaky bohemian types who grew up in a commune and acts morally superior to "regular" people

    By Anonymous, on 2:14 AM  

  • Gee, and I always thought that Ryan Phillippe was such a devoted father and all around general good guy who supported his wife.

    He's just another Chad Lowe minus the drugs and then adding back in the cheating SOB factor, oh well, you know what I mean.

    By Anonymous, on 6:06 AM  

  • What a slug. Does he realize how much money he's blowing off?? She's an OSCAR WINNER! What a RETARD.

    And I'm feeling really outside the loop...I live just outside of Austin and I hadn't heard ANYTHING. I'm so bummed! I would have loved to know this before! Even more so, I would have loved to see it...so I could spit on this disgusting piece of shit. There's nothing more repugnant in the world than a married man, that has children, that cheats. Amoral son of a bitch.

    By Anonymous, on 9:22 AM  

  • When is he going to admit he's gay?

    By Smartie, on 3:47 PM  

  • what the hell... i read comments saying Abbie is fat... she most certainly is not. I suppose you want her to be stick thin like a rake- then she would be 'normal sized'. She's absolutely beautiful the way she is, and for those who have seen her in films such as 'Somersault' and 'Candy' will agree that she is an excellent actress who would not cheat with some mouse look-a-like (ie: ryan)and in turn risk her career. Ryan Phillipe is a douchebag, Reese Witherspoon and him had marriage problems since god knows when... so stop blaming the girl

    By Anonymous, on 8:29 PM  

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