He's so obssessed with his looks he couldn't even look happy on his wedding day . . . oh wait, it was a pseudo-wedding anyway. I'm sure he looked great and didn't need a girdle when he was at his civil union. I hear Travolta wore a girdle though.
And this after all the crap he gave Katie about how she HAD TO fit into her wedding dress and lose all the baby weight immediately (with the help of the aforementioned pig-nosed waif.)
How could anyone possibly think that Posh is soooooooooo stylish. That gorilla she has on is hideous. Cannot even comment on Tom, whole thing is just too freakin bizarre.
Wasn't it Cruiser who demanded that "Kate" fit into her gown and hired some big-time personal trainers for her? You should be nervous, you asshole, everybody hates you.
girdle my ass (so to speak). the only way he could make it thru a hetero wedding was to sew into his tux a sturdy holder for the world's biggest buttplug (batchelor party gift from his bf). that's why he looks so unconfortable in the wedding picture - he was getting another cramp.
I don't understand why everyone made such a big deal about how gorgeous katie's dress was. Maybe the pics just don't do it justice, but I've seen prettier wedding dresses off the rack. Nothing about this pic says 'big time movie stars' to me. Her hair looks like she put it up herself, rather than having it personally done (and her ends look fried), the dress looks like they had planned for her to wear heels, but then she decided not so so it sags the floor, and she looks like she has saran wrap coming out the top of it.
and tom looks *really* uncomfortable. is that due to the fact that he's faking a sham wedding, or because of the girdle.
Katie's ends look fried because it's not her day, it's groomzilla's. Supposedly, he wore two different tuxes too. One that is all funereal black - which makes him look shorter despite shoe lifts, apple box, or Katie squatting. The only thing that would make him look taller is amputating his wife's legs at the knee. What a fairy.
11:12, except Frodo was taller and skinnier. And he didn't need lifts!
As for the Robot's dress, it looks like a souped-up prom dress to me.
7:48, amen to that. So she has to be skinny, but he's allowed to pig out? I guess it's because if she weren't skinny, she might have hips and breasts -- woman parts, the horror!
She's probably got flats on, he's got lifts in, and it appears like she might be bending her knees slightly. Add all that up and you easily make up the 3-4 inch height difference.
9:38am, Man, Optimus Prime fights for good. Tom Cruise is fighting to save his image. Fighting and failing. There is too much evil freakiness and Xenu can't do anything about it.
so, after the wedding and the reception, they're finally alone in the bedroom and tom says "this girdle is killing me!" and takes it off. and then a thick gob of semen squirts out of his ass and starts to dribble down the back of his leg. the two of them just look at each other silently, then retire to their separate beds.
Am I the only one who sees these pics and thinks: Jerry Maguire? He has pretty much the same expression on his face that he did in the wedding video in that movie. It says to me "God, when will this be over so I can find a public men's room and chug some throat yogurt?"
my back hurts just looking at katie all contorted and hunched over in that picture. if couch-jumper is so concerned about his height, why doesn't he pick a woman SHORTER than he is?
"10 lbs of shit in a 5 lb. sack"...hey, that's in the new book Redneck Words of Wisdom which is pretty damn funny. Maybe as funny as Tom Cruise getting married. Get the book!
BULLSHIT! this is the guy that hung off of cliffs for MI:2 with no safety net?!?! a "nervous" eater???!!!! jesus christ. he's become a lazy pig, that's all.
Girdle, lifts... stunning. Topped it all off with bangs so long you could braid them. He is such a goddamn tool!
This queen has more money than one could possibly imagine, every detail taken care of yet ol' KenFag Paves couldn't cut his hair? Oops, guess he forgot that... too busy screwing the Best Man.
Every time I look at him and his idiotic grin, I just cringe. I feel so bad for the Old Katie. I hope she writes about it one day (soon) when the ink on the divorce papers is dry.
Tom Cruise is a lunatic midget. Katie is definitely bending her knees in that photo. I didn't know Miss Piggy was invited to their wedding! Wow, has she been on a diet or what! Leather faced, hog nosed, talentless attention whore.
Posh is such a cartoon. If she passed me on the street I would surely burst out laughing. She looks ridiculous all the time, what a joke.
No wonder nobody gives a shit about her and her beautiful hubby over here, stupid brits, this anorexic over-tanned chick dresses in the dark....in old halloween costumes.
Will someone PLEASE explain this site's general "theme" to those who post on here and act like they're appalled at the content and comments on this site!?!?!?!?
Has nobody in the world noticed that Tom's HAIR has been somehow lifted to give him height? Normally, it all hangs limply, but in these pics it appears to be at least 2" high on top of his head!SOOO... Foot lifts in place. Check. Bouffant 'do teased. Check. Hunch down, Katie. Check. Now say cheese!
OMG! It made me wonder about the nice older gay gentleman I met at the video store one day.
He said something like "Everyone knows that Tom can't have kids, that baby is his cousin's."
I thought it was just him talking even though he did say it like he had some kind of inside knowledge. When I saw pics in the Star this week I really started to think...
Now, all I'm saying is that she looks an awful lot like Bill Mathoper...check the mouth, eyes, even under the eyes/cheeks.
I think either Bill donated the DNA or else Mr. Cruise himself is not shooting blanks after all.
61 Comments:
LMAOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
By laughing my ass off, on 1:59 AM
erm ...in that wedding photo is he standing on a box , or is she standing in a ditch, because we all know who's taller than whom.! hahahahah
By Anonymous, on 3:01 AM
Yeah, ten bucks says that she's practically kneeling under that wedding dress, because she's probably a good three to four inches TALLER than Cruise.
And well, ya just can't have the bride being taller than the groom can you?
Or the groom being fatter than the bride.
By William, on 3:44 AM
He's so obssessed with his looks he couldn't even look happy on his wedding day . . . oh wait, it was a pseudo-wedding anyway. I'm sure he looked great and didn't need a girdle when he was at his civil union. I hear Travolta wore a girdle though.
By Anonymous, on 4:24 AM
what a putz.
By nicole kidman, on 6:06 AM
We couldn't get that girdle off quick enough after the wedding!
By Tom Cruise's Boyfriend, on 6:30 AM
I believe the technical term for "ten pounds of shit in a 5 pound sack" is 'blivet'.
By KITTY X, on 6:42 AM
And this after all the crap he gave Katie about how she HAD TO fit into her wedding dress and lose all the baby weight immediately (with the help of the aforementioned pig-nosed waif.)
At least she had an excuse for the extra pounds.
What a douche.
By Anonymous, on 6:47 AM
I like Tom Cruise. I think he would be fun to have a conversation with.
By Anonymous, on 7:24 AM
i love posh
By Anonymous, on 7:38 AM
It just annoys me that Kate had to starve herself but this fat pig was allowed to pack on 20 pounds. God I hate this asshole.
By Anonymous, on 7:48 AM
I love how Kate had to starve herself to fit into her wedding gown, but this fat pig can pack on 20 pounds. God I hate Tom Cruise. Fat little dwarf.
By Anonymous, on 7:49 AM
What's the big deal?
Guys who wear girdles are hot!
Gay is wearing lifts in your shoes to appear taller...
Oops, sorry Tom. My bad.
By Anonymous, on 7:58 AM
he looks "normal"
By Anonymous, on 7:59 AM
"They also call that 'gay'"
My feelings exactly!
By Vern, on 8:03 AM
I blame the Borat movie for Tom's weight gain.
By Anonymous, on 8:14 AM
How could anyone possibly think that Posh is soooooooooo stylish. That gorilla she has on is hideous. Cannot even comment on Tom, whole thing is just too freakin bizarre.
By Anonymous, on 8:26 AM
Wasn't it Cruiser who demanded that "Kate" fit into her gown and hired some big-time personal trainers for her? You should be nervous, you asshole, everybody hates you.
By Anonymous, on 8:50 AM
Could that wedding photo be more forced? Ive seen more natural, happy smiles on hostages when theyre holding up the day's newspaper.
By Anonymous, on 9:15 AM
Is Katie insane? Drugged? Brainwashed? I don't get it.
By Anonymous, on 9:15 AM
^^
I believe Katie is all of hte above...insane/drugged and brainwashed.
He's a complete freakshow. He's going to be competing with michael jackson for biggest freak soon.
By Anonymous, on 9:36 AM
I thought Tom Cruise was like Optimus Prime, Master Rank in Scientology. He should be able to simply dissolve fat cells with his thoughts.
By Anonymous, on 9:38 AM
well he didn't make a scene about the girdle or the lifts in his shoes. he did what he had to do to make the wedding work.
and i find them relatively... wholesome.
By Anonymous, on 9:56 AM
girdle my ass (so to speak). the only way he could make it thru a hetero wedding was to sew into his tux a sturdy holder for the world's biggest buttplug (batchelor party gift from his bf). that's why he looks so unconfortable in the wedding picture - he was getting another cramp.
By Anonymous, on 9:56 AM
um, he's wearing heels in addition to his girdle, because in 'real life' Katie is also about 3 inches taller than he is.
By Anonymous, on 10:10 AM
She should have stuck with Josh Jackson, or Chris Klein at the very least. Now, when the spaceship gets here, her "acting" career is officially over.
By Laurie, on 10:41 AM
I don't understand why everyone made such a big deal about how gorgeous katie's dress was. Maybe the pics just don't do it justice, but I've seen prettier wedding dresses off the rack. Nothing about this pic says 'big time movie stars' to me. Her hair looks like she put it up herself, rather than having it personally done (and her ends look fried), the dress looks like they had planned for her to wear heels, but then she decided not so so it sags the floor, and she looks like she has saran wrap coming out the top of it.
and tom looks *really* uncomfortable. is that due to the fact that he's faking a sham wedding, or because of the girdle.
probably both.
By meagan, on 10:51 AM
The people defending these assholes need to go away now, please. Wrong site for you. Find a fansite please.
By Anonymous, on 11:00 AM
cute, he looks like Frodo.
By Anonymous, on 11:12 AM
Katie's ends look fried because it's not her day, it's groomzilla's. Supposedly, he wore two different tuxes too. One that is all funereal black - which makes him look shorter despite shoe lifts, apple box, or Katie squatting. The only thing that would make him look taller is amputating his wife's legs at the knee. What a fairy.
By Anonymous, on 11:15 AM
11:12, except Frodo was taller and skinnier. And he didn't need lifts!
As for the Robot's dress, it looks like a souped-up prom dress to me.
7:48, amen to that. So she has to be skinny, but he's allowed to pig out? I guess it's because if she weren't skinny, she might have hips and breasts -- woman parts, the horror!
By Anonymous, on 11:29 AM
Check this out to discover how scientology got tax exempt status.
scary shit, yo
http://www.lermanet.com/scientologynews/nytimes/nyt-irs-030997.htm
By Anonymous, on 12:22 PM
She's probably got flats on, he's got lifts in, and it appears like she might be bending her knees slightly. Add all that up and you easily make up the 3-4 inch height difference.
By Butterscotch Stallion, on 12:24 PM
Who said her dress was georgous? I thought it was hideous.
By Anonymous, on 12:42 PM
9:38am, Man, Optimus Prime fights for good. Tom Cruise is fighting to save his image. Fighting and failing. There is too much evil freakiness and Xenu can't do anything about it.
By Anonymous, on 1:20 PM
so, after the wedding and the reception, they're finally alone in the bedroom and tom says "this girdle is killing me!" and takes it off. and then a thick gob of semen squirts out of his ass and starts to dribble down the back of his leg. the two of them just look at each other silently, then retire to their separate beds.
By Anonymous, on 1:37 PM
Am I the only one who sees these pics and thinks: Jerry Maguire? He has pretty much the same expression on his face that he did in the wedding video in that movie. It says to me "God, when will this be over so I can find a public men's room and chug some throat yogurt?"
By coolpapaboze, on 1:53 PM
I didn't know they stacked shit that high.
Whatta fag.
By Anonymous, on 2:22 PM
posh needs a three way mirror. she has a bunch of dirt on the back of her neck.
By Anonymous, on 2:34 PM
what a hypocrite! telling katie to lose her baby weight to look good for the wedding when he gains weight himself.
what a douche
By Anonymous, on 2:55 PM
my back hurts just looking at katie all contorted and hunched over in that picture. if couch-jumper is so concerned about his height, why doesn't he pick a woman SHORTER than he is?
By Anonymous, on 4:06 PM
"10 lbs of shit in a 5 lb. sack"...hey, that's in the new book Redneck Words of Wisdom which is pretty damn funny. Maybe as funny as Tom Cruise getting married. Get the book!
By Anonymous, on 5:19 PM
The 'Top Gun' star is said to be a nervous eater
BULLSHIT! this is the guy that hung off of cliffs for MI:2 with no safety net?!?! a "nervous" eater???!!!! jesus christ. he's become a lazy pig, that's all.
By Anonymous, on 7:52 PM
They actually lost their tax free status back in the 70's.
By Anonymous, on 8:19 PM
... so the bear asked Tom Cruise: "Does shit stick to your hair?"...
By Anonymous, on 8:20 PM
Girdle, lifts... stunning. Topped it all off with bangs so long you could braid them. He is such a goddamn tool!
This queen has more money than one could possibly imagine, every detail taken care of yet ol' KenFag Paves couldn't cut his hair? Oops, guess he forgot that... too busy screwing the Best Man.
Every time I look at him and his idiotic grin, I just cringe. I feel so bad for the Old Katie. I hope she writes about it one day (soon) when the ink on the divorce papers is dry.
By Anonymous, on 9:13 PM
I noticed her looked a bit porky in those pics. As for Posh, she does have quite a gorilla on her back, that is one silly ass bitch...
By Anonymous, on 9:31 PM
That tatoo on VB says "Please Don't Feed the Skeleton"
What a piece of work she is.
By Anonymous, on 9:32 PM
Tom Cruise is a lunatic midget. Katie is definitely bending her knees in that photo. I didn't know Miss Piggy was invited to their wedding! Wow, has she been on a diet or what! Leather faced, hog nosed, talentless attention whore.
By Anonymous, on 2:05 AM
Is that one of those Skunk Apes from Florida in the last photo?
By Bitch McMean, on 5:00 AM
What in the Hell are they standing in front of, a giant turd?
By Bitch McMean, on 5:06 AM
Posh is such a cartoon. If she passed me on the street I would surely burst out laughing. She looks ridiculous all the time, what a joke.
No wonder nobody gives a shit about her and her beautiful hubby over here, stupid brits, this anorexic over-tanned chick dresses in the dark....in old halloween costumes.
By Anonymous, on 6:12 AM
Will someone PLEASE explain this site's general "theme" to those who post on here and act like they're appalled at the content and comments on this site!?!?!?!?
By Anonymous, on 8:18 AM
Has nobody in the world noticed that Tom's HAIR has been somehow lifted to give him height? Normally, it all hangs limply, but in these pics it appears to be at least 2" high on top of his head!SOOO...
Foot lifts in place. Check.
Bouffant 'do teased. Check.
Hunch down, Katie. Check.
Now say cheese!
By Anonymous, on 11:00 AM
Ha ha Tom likes wearing women's underwear.
By Anonymous, on 2:25 PM
"nonsense, honey, there's blood in every man's stool after a wedding"
By Anonymous, on 2:57 PM
A girdle is just a material thing and if man such as Tom likes to wear one that is just dandy.
By Anonymous, on 4:44 PM
You see David Miscavige prefers Tom in tight suits hence Giorgio making it snug. And the girdle just for David too.
By Anonymous, on 7:36 PM
David and Tom enjoy kinkiness in Scientology lessons.
By Anonymous, on 7:38 PM
OMG! It made me wonder about the nice older gay gentleman I met at the video store one day.
He said something like "Everyone knows that Tom can't have kids, that baby is his cousin's."
I thought it was just him talking even though he did say it like he had some kind of inside knowledge. When I saw pics in the Star this week I really started to think...
Now, all I'm saying is that she looks an awful lot like Bill Mathoper...check the mouth, eyes, even under the eyes/cheeks.
I think either Bill donated the DNA or else Mr. Cruise himself is not shooting blanks after all.
http://www.mychocodile.com/Project0.jpg
By Anonymous, on 11:52 PM
Did Xenu bring this girdle back from outer space?
By Anonymous, on 8:27 AM
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