This was Britney's home page today:

It's been so long since I've been out on the town with friends. It's also been 2 years since I celebrated my birthday. Every move I make at this point has been magnified more than I expected, and I probably did take my new found (sic) freedom a little too far. Anyway, thank God for Victoria's Secrets' new underwear line! I look forward to a new year, new music and a new me. I'm just getting started....Happy Holidays everyone! Britney"

That's one of the most retarded excuses anyone could make for leaving their babies at home while they go on a two week long beaver flashing, Paris Hilton licking bender. Choosing to sit on the couch inhaling super sized value meals and scratching your taint spot alongside your equally lazy husband does not a "kept woman" make. I'm still waiting for Cops cameras to bust into her mansion and catch her trying to explain the two babies duct taped to the wall. "But mah dawg Lucky was here watchin' them, y'all! And that there's real expensive duck's tape. Ah gawt it from Fred's Seagulls!"

Britney at 3:30 a.m. on December 5th:


Glad to see she's raiding this guy's closet: