IDontLikeYouInThatWay.com

Jessica Biel is a Freak

In their "The Eyes Have It" section, E! Online reports that Jessica Biel is awesome:

...Jessica Biel, rumored gf of Derek Jeter and Esquire's 2005 Sexiest Woman Alive...picked out a pair of remote-controlled vibrating panties along with some other stroke-ready toys from Booty Parlor at the Kari Feinstein Style Lounge in the Hollywood Hills.

If I had to think about Jessica Biel in a pair of vibrating panties for too long, I could put my hands on hips and lift up a car. If I was Derek Jeter, I'd retire right now and never leave the house. That is, unless he's a pussy. Jessica needs a real man like me. Don't take my word for it, just ask the bear I beat up that one time. Legend has it we wrestled for thirty minutes, but it was really more like twenty minutes. Sorry if that disappoints you Jessica, but I just can't live this lie anymore.

Jessica Biel spanking Maria Menounos' ass at the Golden Globes:

48 Comments:

todd, your writing style lately is really beginning to remind me of that doofus from the superficial.com.........please stop! youre usually so much funnier

By Anonymous, on 4:38 PM
Leave Todd alone! He's brilliant. Btw, can I do her with you Todd?

By Anonymous, on 4:56 PM
she's still a guy.

By Anonymous, on 5:42 PM
Yeah Todd's a funny writer and I hear he has a big dick and a talented tongue.

By Anonymous, on 5:44 PM
personally i dont get all the hype around her. shes pretty but not as STUNNING as people make her out to be...

By Anonymous, on 5:45 PM
I would love to touch her butthole.

By CK1, on 6:36 PM
Jessica's pretty and has a great ass. Maria Menounos has a nice ass, too.
I'd dyke with both those chicks...

And Todd u and that dick of yours are welcome to join in, as well.
It's Friday, bitches. Woohoo.

By Anonymous, on 7:23 PM
weird for guys to see this as hot. girls who buy lots of toys are into onanism or muncheris carpetus. jeter's a beard, the purchases were to share with her closeted gf.

By Anonymous, on 8:12 PM
Tina Fey may have found Jessica's underwear packaging left behind by her hotel elevators. She was on Letterman this week and discussed it.

"Just returning from the Globes, Tina says Los Angeles is kind of weird. She was in an elevator and found three discarded and opened boxes. On the boxes was written: “Discreet and comfortable.” Her curiosity got the best of her and she explored. She found the boxes and discovered they were for “Remote Control Vibrating Underpants.” She says it’s just another example of why she hates Los Angeles."

By Anonymous, on 8:15 PM
awww...i saw this live. the clip cuts out the middle part, where jessica smells her fingers after she pats maria's ass, with this big dreamy look on her face...

By Anonymous, on 8:32 PM
if she fucked guys, i'd love to fuck her. but she doesn't. so i'll just jerk off to her pictures.

that's pretty much what i do anyway.

except for the kelly clarkson pictures. that shit's not right.

By Anonymous, on 8:43 PM
Her shoulders are too large for a woman.

By Anonymous, on 8:49 PM
I think she's beautiful.

By Laurie, on 9:28 PM
She's cute for a white girl.

By Anonymous, on 10:29 PM
the bitch is not that hot

By Anonymous, on 11:17 PM
I want to take a big bite out of that ass.

By Anonymous, on 1:37 AM
Jessica Biel's anus, meet my tongue

By Anonymous, on 3:08 AM
Just starting out and want to learn. Thanks for the help.
__________<<_My Home Page_>>____________
http://clasificalia.com/images/_vti_cnf/mother.html

By Anonymous, on 5:41 AM
8:43, you are the man!

By Anonymous, on 7:03 AM
her nose freaks me out

really freaks me out, like psychostasis

i wouldn't let her do me cowgirl cuz i'd see her nose and go limp

definitely reverse cowgirl though to see that boo-tay!!

oh yeah, 8:32, i remember seeing her eyes glaze over from the ass sniff too... definitely HOT!

By Anonymous, on 7:11 AM
I would love to have her ass, but not her face or shoulders. Sorry, I just don't see the "woman" in her.

By Anonymous, on 8:08 AM
Who the hell is this woman? I see her and her ass all over these celebrity gossip sites and I've neither seen nor heard of her anywhere else?

By Anonymous, on 9:47 AM
Her shoulders are too large? You've got to be kidding me.

By Anonymous, on 9:56 AM
she's copying angelinas pic in the first one, with her tounge stickin out

By Anonymous, on 11:45 AM
I'm sorry, 4:38. Tood is usually a lot funnier, when he's had enough sleep. I've been keeping him up now for...what's it been, baby? Eight days?

Eight wonderful days...mmmmmm....

(Back off, bitches. This one's mine.)

You're next, Jenny. Giddy up girl!

By Vigilante, on 2:38 PM
More like 2 minutes and then i came on your face.

-The Bear

-CM

By Anonymous, on 3:42 PM
todd you're probably slightly overweight and no where near attractive. you wouldnt have a snow balls chance in hell with this chick. like seriously.......what would you do with all that ass?? NOTHING

but i'm not surprised she is a freak. we already saw pictures of her kissing some chick. seeing as she likes us mixed brothas i'd beat that pussy proper......i just wouldnt eat her pussy because ya know.....thats gross but i'd definetly make that ass bigger.

By prettyboy, on 4:30 PM
pretty much all women are bisexual, so jessica biel isn't anything out of the ordinary

it's amazing how many "straight" women check out other girls and have lesbian experiences

By Anonymous, on 5:21 PM
The best bod in hollywood, bar none. Saw her on the beach in the summer. Whoa.....

By Anonymous, on 5:47 PM
Ok, just for shits, I googled "vibrating panties" and found Bootyparlor.com or whatever and looked at their pictures. I cannot, for the life of me, figure out how that thing is supposed to work. It talks about a "bullet". What the hell? Are you actually supposed to walk around with an insert all night long? I vote for Todd to go out and do some serious journalistic research. Go Todd go!

By Anonymous, on 6:07 PM
First of all, that's NOT a spanking. It didn't make a sound and the recipient didn't flinch.

Secondly if Jessica Biehl isn't hot, you're either a moron or have teh ghey. Shoulders aren't womanly? Christ on a crutch, would you be happier with Nicole Richie and her 85 pounds?

By Zatpierre, on 9:59 AM
she is beautiful and looks great for her age!

By Anonymous, on 12:42 PM
she could touch my booty anytime

By Anonymous, on 12:52 PM
I have to give her a lot of respect. When she was voted "Most Sexy" a few years ago, I was like "Ah.....right." But she did not rest on her laurels.

She worked her butt off, well not 'off' but she obviously took the honor very seriously and works very hard to stay in shape. She looks great. AND she works at it.

By Anonymous, on 1:05 PM
she is manly. and looks like a horse.

http://youtube.com/watch?search=&mode=related&v=tAcP8-QnPCE

ahha watch towards the end, where they show paris dancing and then theres lindsay behind her- awkward and obviosuly trying to do what paris is doing but just looks like a dumb little girl

By jessie, on 3:51 PM
sexiest woman alive? yeah right, maybe if i was a gay man..

By Anonymous, on 8:30 PM
she is an "actress" with absoultely NO talent. Nice ass...but beyond working out 10 hours a day, she lacks any other talent.

By Anonymous, on 8:51 PM
Aside from her ass, she's not that hot.

By dude, on 5:46 AM
I'd beat up my own mother to get a piece of that!

By Anonymous, on 6:55 AM
I love Jessica Biel. I masturbate just to her name, I don't even need a picture.

By Anonymous, on 8:12 AM
She is Mine!!!,, i want to have her now

By burntfinger, on 8:45 AM
Why is she trying to do the Angelina tongue pose?

Eeechkk.

By Anonymous, on 9:01 AM
I like Jessica Biel. She is naturally gorgeous and healthy. She takes care of herself, works out and seems very down to earth.

By Anonymous, on 9:39 AM
CM...I love you for making me spit coffee everywhere. Thank God these people here think I'm insane to begin with.

I'm sure it was longer than two minutes....

And you're so gettin' it after Jenny.

By Vigilante, on 11:03 AM
Of course Prettyboy wouldn't eat pussy and go for the ass because that way he can pretend she's a guy and not get icky girl juice all over him.

By Anonymous, on 11:49 AM
She's gorgeous.

Also, Who said that Angelina Jolie made up or owns that pose? I've seen so many people who do that...

I have made that pose in photos long before I even knew who Angelina Jolie was (I'm almost 25).

By Anonymous, on 3:47 PM
Jessica Beal has really become the new hot chick in town since purchasing herself a Black woman's ass.Get lip injections and she'll be the perfect White woman with Black women's features that America loves so much.

By Anonymous, on 6:44 AM
It's a man baby!

By Anonymous, on 8:01 PM