IDontLikeYouInThatWay.com

Penelope Cruz Will Have a Good Year

I really don't know how the exact saying goes, but I've heard that whatever you're doing on New Year's Eve and New Years, you'll be doing the rest of the year. If I'm Penelope Cruz's boyfriend and I'm looking at that banner picture, I hope that's true. These pictures of Penelope Cruz instantly get bonus points, but you can't hear her talk. When Salma Hayek talks I feel like riding to her house on a white horse and a rose in my teeth. When Penelope talks she sounds like that retarded Mexican kid, Mario, who used to get a bloody nose all the time from playing dodgeball when I was in 5th grade. She would be one of the hottest women in Hollywood if they figured out a way to remove her vocal cords and replace them with someone else's. I'd rather hear Optimus Prime talk dirty to me that this chick.

Note: Detail sweating time - the one in the black bikini is supposedly Penelope's easier, sluttier sister. Those are my favorite.

36 Comments:

Sorry to bum you out, but the one in the banner bikini/black bikini is Penelope Cruz's sister, not her. Penelope is in the flowered swimsuit.

By Anonymous, on 11:56 AM
Tom Cruise has been there, so count me out.

By jeditemple, on 11:59 AM
Tom hasn't been there. He doesn't have sex - with women.

By Anonymous, on 12:03 PM
yeah the second picture has them both. that'd be quite a feat if it were penelope in 2 swimsuits...maybe she's jesus?

By Anonymous, on 12:05 PM
i spy mexican tonsil in sis's hiney pic

By Anonymous, on 12:06 PM
in the top pic penelope just yelled to her sister "hey do that tom cruise pose i told you about!"

By Anonymous, on 12:07 PM
Sorry, I just don't see it with this woman. She looks like a rat...long bumpy nose and buck teeth.

By Anonymous, on 12:08 PM
yummy slutty spanish chicks.

By Anonymous, on 12:09 PM
I'd lick the sister's asshole in a second.

By Anonymous, on 12:20 PM
Yay--Todd. Real women who are fit and trim but not anorexic. You make Momma proud.

However, I have heard that Penelope is actually a lesbian.

By Anonymous, on 1:07 PM
"However, I have heard that Penelope is actually a lesbian."

Why do you say that as if it were a bad thing? ;-)

By Anonymous, on 3:38 PM
About her i've one thing to say, and one thing only:

Hired rebound f*ckhole beard of a gay nazi sect leader.

By Anonymous, on 3:55 PM
Yep, that's her sister in the black bikini. Pene is gorgeous in Volver (with some extra padding where it matters).

By Anonymous, on 4:18 PM
the bitch can't speak english, but goddamn she's sexy!!!

By Anonymous, on 5:14 PM
uhm, i couldn't help but feel a little insulted by this blog...so what if she can't speak English as perfectly as you can...she gets paid millions to act in American films, as well as Spanish films...so I think it's besides your EXTREMELY racist point!

By Anonymous, on 5:19 PM
uhm, 5:19, please go stick your head in an oven.

By Anonymous, on 6:06 PM
she may not be able to speak perfect English, but i bet she sounds hot in her own native monkeychatter language

By Anonymous, on 7:06 PM
What's the deal with her English? My accent is not great either because we don't live in English-Speaking countries. At least she understand the language, which is more than most of you idiots can say. It is true, English is the universal language, for now. But that still doesn't mean you're not retarded because you can't speak something else.

By lolUSA, on 12:16 AM
the sister is hotter

By Anonymous, on 2:10 AM
People, if you ate as much pussy as Penelope Cruz you would probably have trouble speaking, period, regardless of the language. Her tongue is like a buzzsaw baby!!

By Anonymous, on 7:55 AM
i'm happy the maid service allows some leisure time at the beach. they look like they're having fun. hope they didn't steal anything.

By Anonymous, on 9:09 AM
Julie says-
It is nice to see a woman (women) that look like women and not 10 year old boys!!! They look great!

By Anonymous, on 9:42 AM
I bet none of those who are critizicing Penelope Cruz speak any other language than english.

By Anonymous, on 10:19 AM
lolusa,

it's because her english is so bad that we can make fun of her.

please let me know if you need furhter clarification.

thanks.

By Anonymous, on 10:36 AM
Her sister is hot! I saw her in the steam shower a few years ago in CO when Penelope and Tom Cruise were still dating.

By Anonymous, on 1:51 PM
PIC 4 CAPTION: "hey there, can you pull these outta my crack?"

By Anonymous, on 1:56 PM
Yes, her english is ridiculous, but I assure you that Melanie Griffith (for example) also sounds stupid talking in spanish.

By Anonymous, on 2:33 PM
10:19- I bet none of those who are critizicing Penelope Cruz are trying to act in the Mexican film industry.

By Anonymous, on 3:01 PM
Not that she actually sounds better in spanish. She's got that kind of noselike voice which turns me down.

By Anonymous, on 4:11 PM
Man you really are retards aren't you? She's not Mexican. She's Spanish. Wait let me say that again in case you missed it. SHE'S SPANISH.

Poor things, I feel really sad for all you ignorant gringos. I'm sorry my English is not 100% either while writing this but damn, I'll take my life here in Mexico City a billion times over being an ignorant gringo who thinks everyone south of the border is like the freaking beaners and wetbacks over there. I would say get a life but, unfortunately, you have one already. Get a brain sounds much more appropriate.

By lolUSA, on 4:51 PM
Well, that's kind of demeaning, but yeah, I'll do it. I need to save pesos to send my 9 year old son to America, so he can work at Home Depot.

Ahhh, America. One day, Pablo. One day joo will get there.

By lolusa, on 5:19 PM
Nothin' new here in these comments. Just a bunch of common, regular anglosaxon racist cretins who are the same assholes who populated this country in the first place. Again: nothing surprising..just same old, same old racist shit.

Penelope Cruz is not only a beautiful woman, she is also an amazingly talented actress (from SPAIN, not from MEXICO), and you can tell from her sister that great genes run in her family.

By Montana1, on 7:16 PM
I don't know...neither one of them have any curves or breasts. They seem to run straight up and down along the sides with no curves and also no breasts...kind of like pre-bubescent teenage boys. Not my taste at all...but I guess some men like the pre-pubescent teenage boy look.

By Perez's Nemesis, on 12:32 AM
12:32 AM - it's called "not being fat". Try it out, for once.

By the way, any woman who moans and coplains about how men just like "the teenage boy look" is exposed as a heifer. I'm just trying to help.

By Anonymous, on 4:41 AM
I'm Mexican and I hate Penelope Cruz. I hate her face, I hate her accent. She can't act. She just gets naked in movies, that's all she does.

By Anonymous, on 10:34 AM
She's not Mexican.... ::rolls eyes::

By Anonymous, on 1:19 PM