Britney Spears is a Slut
In an exclusive interview with Britain's News of the World, Britney's ex-boyfriend, Isaac "Eyezik" Cohen has revealed that Britney Spears' life "is in tatters" and that she's dangerously close to her breaking point. Eyezik claims the only way that Britney can cope is by having sex. He says:
She loves sex and is incredibly adventurous...Britney is not shy about her body so she slowly stripped off her clothes and beckoned me to join her under the stars in the pool...It was an amazing view over the Las Vegas strip. But we didn't stay long as we wanted to try out the bed. So we clambered on and I grabbed the remote and started it turning round and round. All the time as we made love we watched ourselves in the mirrored ceiling. It was amazing but we did it so many times it made us start to feel sick. We had to turn it off."
Based on the millions of pictures of Britney Spears that we've seen in the past six months, I don't know what level of self esteem it would take to admit having sex with this haggard beast. It must be off the charts. In either direction. Doctors and scientists from around the world would have to hold a summit to figure it out. While Isaac is hooked up to special self esteem computers, Canada would remain neutral, Brazil would say "-1,645" and America would say "Umm, ewww...."
Britney in New York on February 6th:
29 Comments:
She's a sexaholic!! HAAAHAAAHAAA
By Anonymous, on 10:34 AM
Showing your thong is so 2004!
By Anonymous, on 10:40 AM
She probably paid the guy to say that, because it is . . . well, it's . . . at the very least it IS, PUBLICITY.
It's not enough to keep this beast in the news though.
By Anonymous, on 10:42 AM
I hate to bring up Anna Nicole, (I know we're bored with her), but we better thank God that Britney hasn't croaked. Can you imagine the outpouring of bleeding heart messages of love and gushy fan letters.
*Phew* Even the thought of it leaves a terrible stench, oh wait, Britney just opened her legs, oops, my bad, *phew*.
By Anonymous, on 10:44 AM
Now i know why her makeup looks like she put it on in the dark..without a mirror...
By Anonymous, on 10:44 AM
This guy must have one strong stomach. With Britney, I'd get sick before I even got to first base!
By Anonymous, on 11:03 AM
She loves sex and is incredibly adventurous...Britney is not shy about her body so she slowly stripped off her clothes and beckoned me to join her under the stars in the pool...It was an amazing view over the Las Vegas strip.
Come on, who seriously talks like that? That's how a faggy Brit gossip writer writes, not how anybody in Los Angeles would actually speak in an interview. NOTW is just making shit up.
By Alex, on 11:13 AM
Todd, you're bleeding hilarious. The summit idea = genius.
By Anonymous, on 11:15 AM
10:44am - yep, know whatcha mean. Don't know if you go to other sites but most people seem to be feeling so badly for her that this guy did the whole "kiss and tell" bit. Everywhere it's, "Aw, poor Britney. She doesn't deserve this. That guy is an asshole." *vomit* No matter that this bitch is an attention whore and who is so needy that she'd rather whore around than be with her kids - it's always someone else fault for the way she is and the shitty things that she brings into her life.
By Anonymous, on 11:16 AM
Watching in the mirror while you fuck Britney Spears is pretty much guaranteed to make you sick.
By Enoughalready, on 11:27 AM
As a representative for the nation of Canada I would like to say that we would NOT remain neutral on such matters.
Our best doctors would use cutting-edge technology to conduct a thorough examination of EyeZit, publicly funded of course, where I'm sure we would find that it is not a matter of an overabundance of self esteem that's at issue...
EyeZit is just plain stupid. And is easily led by his penis. A plain fact which was further demonstrated by his attempts to insert his member in a wall outlet while he was being tested.
Knowing that he had engaged in sexual activities with Britney Spears, medical staff present made no attempt to stop him.
By Vigilante, on 11:32 AM
^I agree with alex. I read the whole article and it sounded so ridiculously fake.
Not that I don't believe Britney is fucked, she is, but that article is bullshit.
By Anonymous, on 11:54 AM
anyone who spells their name like he does is an asshat and the last time i heard a man complaining about too much sex with a woman he was a homo...so let's see, do i feel sorry for her?
umm yes kinda!
By Miss Ahmad, on 11:54 AM
This comes across as a really pathetic and des[erate attempt for Britney to try and be a "sex symbol" again. I'm not buying it. She's disgusting and anyone who'd stick their dick in that has no gag reflex.
By Anonymous, on 11:56 AM
Ah in Canada, we'd crawl back into our igloos and forget the Britney ever existed. Much like the Sasquatch that she is.
By Anonymous, on 11:58 AM
Nice goddamn jacket.
She looks like she skinned the Pink Panther. I have young (8 yrs and 9 yrs) nieces who wouldn't want to wear that thing.....
Seriously, for all we know the jacket is made from Peeps and is completely edible....
By joejoe, on 12:01 PM
i was going to say her thong is tacky...but then i realized her whole outfit is.
By Anonymous, on 12:13 PM
she's not shy about her body??? ewwww. 6-7 years ago that would've made sense because she was hot. now shes a fat bitch who wears daisey dukes and tube tops and thinks its hot. im tired of fat bitches who do this. it's fucking disgusting. if you're fat then wear clothes that fit and cover up your jelly rolls. isaac is a dirty fuck for having sex with this creature. soon as britney touched justin's dick then she wanted to fuck every guy in site and she still thinks every guy wants her...what a fat worthless cunt.
By prettyboy, on 12:14 PM
britney really isnt fat and she looks good for a woman whose just had two kids in two years. she just doesnt know how to dress herself. it's like she's wearing her clothes from her "Toxic" days and doesnt realize she's suffering from "dunlap syndrome". for some reason alot of girls do this and it's very frustrating. either except your size or fuckin work out, lose weight, and learn to properly wear your clothes. with all that said, she's still ugly looks like she smells like cheese, eggs, and used condoms. those poor babies.
By niecy, on 12:44 PM
Go home, whore! The kids think the Mexican nanny is their mommy now!
By Anonymous, on 12:48 PM
I thought no one wore thongs anymore, only the pre-pubes who shop at Wet Seal, or whoever still shops there (desperate sluts?), uh, yeah probably Britney does still...judging from this gem!
By Anonymous, on 12:59 PM
Christina looks like she was dunked in chocolate milk and mud, Ashlee looks like an Apricot Fruit Roll Up and Carrie...hmmmm, like Jean Benet Ramsey, at best. Thanks. Take care...
By Anonymous, on 1:06 PM
oh Brit,, i do feel for U,, being followed all the time. So why dont you try to look nice, you are looking more and more like those photo's of crack heads, before and after pics.
i cant wait for your new single,, thats sure going to make us shout up!!!
By burntfinger, on 1:50 PM
It's nice to see she shops at Victoria's Secret and Express! Kinda cheap of her, don't you think!?!?! I know darn well that Victoria's Secret makes a LOW rise panty and Express makes jeans that don't show off the crack of your butt!
By Anonymous, on 2:17 PM
it looks like that thong has a zipper on the back. what, for even FASTER access to her anus?
By Anonymous, on 2:57 PM
hey guys ! did anybody notice that the webmaster call a girl he don't even know a "slut" then a "whore" so what we saw her string does it make her a whore or a slut. Maybe you find that normal, even you girls but that is just too easy.
By kelendria, on 10:44 AM
^ Was that English? You're an idiot.
By Anonymous, on 10:46 AM
kelendria, I guess that's how they talk and think on your home planet. Not much gravity there.
By Anonymous, on 11:54 AM
Give Kelendria a break. That's how the dumb darkies talk in the ghetto.
By Anonymous, on 12:06 PM
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