The Oscars Were Last Night
Maybe I've been too obsessed with her ass to notice, but Jessica Biel looks like she's aged 20 years in about six months. Oh, I'd still hit it like Dale Earnhardt, but instead of immediately doing it again, we could watch Wheel of Fortune or go to Denny's. You know, whatever she wanted to do. I'm pretty flexible.
It makes me happy seeing Jennifer Lopez at the Oscars because I know she'll never get one. She can't sing, she can barely act, so all she basically has is an utterly confusing sense of self worth and an overrated ass. In five years, she'll be the ugly one on Univision.
According to the media, Cameron Diaz is one of the sexiest woman in Hollywood. Yeah, this freakish mutant. Just look at this monster's face. I swear, it would be easier to raise the Titanic that it would be for me to get an erection looking at this hag.
Just Google "Gwyneth Paltrow" and "America" and you'll have pages of reasons why people hate this self-righteous bitch. When she's not burning the American flag, her hobbies include not working and avoiding direct sunlight.
38 Comments:
Jessica Biel looks good in those pics. Especially number 2. And the other three girls here are all idiotic bitches, and that is the nicest thing I can say about them. Good call leading off with JB.
By Anonymous, on 11:14 AM
Will somebody please tell Gwenny that she needs a haircut? Her hair looks awful! The 12 year-old look is so yesterday...
By Anonymous, on 11:16 AM
ok, the one at the top has a weirdly nice ass for a frizzy haired dude; the next one exhumed her date; the next one is doing an excellent job scaring off birds; and the last one gave way too much blood.
By Anonymous, on 11:17 AM
Jessica Biel looks about 40. I blame the stupid, Bride of Frankenstein hairstyle and overdone makeup. She shouldn't glam up so much. It doesn't work on her.
And as for Paltrow--what has this self-rightious cunt ever done to deserve to be so famous? She is the living, breathing definition of nepotism.
By Anonymous, on 11:19 AM
Why do people like Jessica Biel (love her, but Texas Chainsaw Massacre, really?)
Jennifer Lopez (Jersey Girl, Main in Manhattan)
and Camron Diaz (Charlies Angels) even show up to the Oscars? They have no business being there!
I agree with all the comments except Gwenie. I love me some Gwenyth.
By WILLA frickin' DODGE, on 11:20 AM
wow you people are really hostile!
By Anonymous, on 11:31 AM
gwenyth paltrow is a wanna be european along with johnny depp. in the past both em have said americans are uncivilized and europeans are far more intelligent and civiled people...... these people must've forgetten that they dont know jack shit about their european roots. both my of my parents are from the caribbean and both have parents who are from europe (one from spain and the other from germany) i'm more intact with my european roots than those retarded fucks yet i dont say stupid shit like that because i know a european is gonna call me a dirty yank or something synonymous to that effect.
these people need a reality check and realize that just because you marry someone outside of the states doesnt mean you're apart of their nation. and fuck that stuck up, pale faced worthless whore. she couldnt act her way out of maze.
By prettyboy, on 11:32 AM
Cate Blanchett had the best dress. That fuschia is horrible on Biel. Even if it does bring more attention to her ass.
By Vigilante, on 11:38 AM
Gwyneth has a lot of nerve showing up if you ask me. She makes a bunch of rude comments about Americans from "across the pond" and then she shows up on Oscar night so everyone can gush all over her. Dumb bitch. I'll never see her movies again.
By Anonymous, on 11:51 AM
I suspect that as Cameron Diaz gets older, it becomes harder and harder for her to take human form.
By Anonymous, on 12:00 PM
Gwyneth Paltrow makes me laugh with her "I'm-so-chic-and cosmopolitan-I-could-not-possibly-be-American-act." Give me a fucking break. That's not original. When I was 12 years old I spoke with a British accent and pretended to be from England because Duran Duran ruled my world at that time. Yeah, I said I was 12. Grow up, Gwyneth.
By Anonymous, on 12:09 PM
Speaking of Dale Earnhardt Jr., he dated Marisa Miller for a few years. Lucky guy.
By Anonymous, on 12:10 PM
todd, you are hilarious!
By Anonymous, on 12:13 PM
If you put a few streaks of white hot blonde in Jessica's hair, her style would pass for that of the Bride of Frankenstein?? What the heck has happened to her hair?
By LRM, on 12:14 PM
JB suddenly looks old - never thought she was a great beauty, but she is looking haggard - like Cameron Diaz - hard-looking - the dress and make-up doesn't help, but in recent photos she doesn't look so good (honestly ever since Jeter and JT, what did they do to her)- AND is there a mark across her left boob - I read that they taped her chest and decided to take it off and it left a mark- ??? anyone else see that?
By Anonymous, on 12:20 PM
It looks like Jessica Biel has a real fuschia in Hollywood. Get it??? hahahahahahahahaha!
no.
By Anonymous, on 12:30 PM
Someone please take some scissors to fishsticks locks! Long hair looks like shit on her.
Cameron's dress looked like it was made from paper napkins. It was so stiff and motionless. Blech.
By CheeryBitch, on 1:10 PM
Gwyneth doesn't realize that she's the perfect example of a poseur -- someone who thinks they'll look chic and cool if they diss their roots. The rich girl who doesn't want anyone to notice that she came from a small-town.
By Anonymous, on 1:18 PM
jessica biel: should stick with bikinis and nerf football on the beach.
j-lo: the only reason she's with skeletor is no matter how badly she ages, she'll always look better than him (it?).
cameron: i swear they have that dress for sale at j.c. penney.
"gwyneth": the pretensiousness oozes from every pore. someone please run her over.
By Anonymous, on 1:57 PM
11:16---> STFU, Gwyneth doesn't need a haircut, she looks amazing....more chicks should grow their hair like this, instead of keeping it short, and getting stupid bangs.
By Anonymous, on 2:02 PM
Prettyboi said: "i'm more intact with my european roots than those retarded fucks yet i dont say stupid shit like that because i know a european is gonna call me a dirty yank or something synonymous to that effect."
I wish you were IN TOUCH with basic grammar in English skills, you dumb ass.
By WILLA DODGE, on 2:13 PM
2:02
Thank you. My hair looks just like hers, but brown and thicker. I love simple!
By Anonymous, on 2:15 PM
guess what ladies, if you have short bangs you have a mullet!
By Anonymous, on 2:54 PM
Gwyneth: Can't stand the bitch. With any luck after she spits out the next kid she gets hit with PPD and is sharing a lock-up with Britney...She makes me want to give each and every Dixie Chick a blowjob...
By Anonymous, on 3:32 PM
The guy's ass in Picture 2 is better looking than Cameron Diaz...nuff said.
By Anonymous, on 3:34 PM
Come on, Gwyneth looked great! I'm not one of her biggest fans by any means, but I can at least admit that her hair looked shiny and lustrous and the dress was very flattering on her (not crazy about the colour though). And what's with the "not working" comment. Gwyneth should be commended for looking after her children instead of getting a nanny and running off to focus on her career. More women should do what she has done. I think she is pretentious, but at least she makes her children her top priority, not her career. I guess because I'm from Canada, I don't really care that she has made negative comments about the U.S., so don't feel as hostile toward her...
By Anonymous, on 3:58 PM
Gwyneth is a bitch, but my hair looks a lot like hers, and it's naturaly blonde. I get compliments all the time. Men like long hair on women, so don't be jealous if you can't grow it long and pretty, just be happy with what you have and get a cute short style.
By Anonymous, on 4:14 PM
Looked great? Her dress looked like a plate of sliced salmon!
By Anonymous, on 6:14 PM
What cracks me up about Gwenyth is that she's so "I love England, America sucks" blah blah. But she was voted "The Most Undeserving Actress to ever win an Oscar" by the BBC!
By Anonymous, on 6:42 PM
Jessica wore this dress to get attention she knows she looks like shit her hair is nice though
By Anonymous, on 8:00 PM
J-ho has no humility and no pride which is why her ass got booed in Germany.
By Anonymous, on 8:01 PM
Cameron Diaz is fug. Always has been. Always will be.
By Spanky, on 9:13 PM
Ugly JB. Looks like a freaky body-builder in a frock. Ugh.
She should not stick her ass out like that, it's already noticeable enough thank you.
By Anonymous, on 10:02 PM
ALL the dresses sucked ass they were LONG noone was showing legs so that was bad ,, and jessica and her big ass are over rated she is a horrible "actress" why was she there?? bitch
By Anonymous, on 11:21 PM
Paltrow's dress is so UGLY!!! I can't believe people liked that dress..UGG!!!
By Anonymous, on 7:02 AM
What happend to JBiel...she needs to eat!!! she was so pretty! She looks sick or something so sad! I hate how everyone LOVES to be so fuckin thin... GET HEALTHY dammit... and Jlo looks great! sucks she got booed... so crazy we follow these people so much... sigh.... and someone said prior- some of the people we are talkin about arnt even oscar attending worthy... haha... so true.
By RX Queen, on 11:17 AM
I didn't watch the Oscars, principally because I am movie-challenged [last one I saw was in 2005], hence I can't comment on the preening, and the overweening self-love, of the attendees. But, I can't resist saying something about Ms. Paltrow. So, she hates America? This gets me to thinking: Does America care? I can only think, at the moment, of three or four American "celebrities" who have chosen to live outside this country: Paltrow, Madonna, Depp and, possibly, Clooney. There may be others, but I doubt there are many. Now, for a moment, think how many British big-names, for instance, choose to live HERE. There must easily be dozens of them, and we most certainly welcome them and their talent. Hey, one Hugh Laurie, or one Simon Cowell, or one Anthony Hopkins is worth exponentially more than the several American malcontents I mentioned. Oh, and is Alec Baldwin packed YET? I thought he promised to leave years ago. Delta's ready when you are, Alec.
By Anonymous, on 12:26 PM
Gwyneth is much better off avoiding sunlight. She will age much better doing so. And lily white beats burnt orange anyday.
By Anonymous, on 8:04 PM
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