61 Comments:

1. I'd still nail this cow. I don't give a shit.

   By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 11:27:31

2. She should probably go for the muumuu with sleeves next time.

   By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 11:29:18

3. Man alive, that was disappointing. I know a lot of people considered her fat before last night, but I always thought she was hot. She's still got a pretty face, but that dress isn't doing her any favors. Yikes, man. Yikes.*
   
   I'd still put the nuts to her, though.

   By Uncle Biz, on April 26, 2007 11:30:42

4. I'd hit it for 3 hours straight, and not just doggy so I'd never see her face either. She's still pretty damn hot for overall...celebrity wise, not quite...but that's kind of an unfair way to judge at times. I'd hit it, heh heh.

   By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 11:34:27

5. She's still beautiful - a few pounds heavier, but who cares? And her "grandpa" is Jeff Beck - the best fucking guitarist on the planet, dumbass!

   By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 11:35:11

6. I need a hit of acid.

   By Mackenzie, on April 26, 2007 11:36:48

7. Who is the corpse with her?

   By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 11:39:53

8. I don't think she is fat at all, but her fashion choices have been BAD lately. She needs a new stylist NOW.

   By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 11:40:00

9. Good move on her part bringing the caveman along.
   
   No one notices how fat someone is when they're escorted by a pro-mullett caveman.

   By joejoe, on April 26, 2007 11:40:01

10. Jeff Beck isn't the "best fucking guitarist on the planet", that's your opinion, asshole!

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 11:41:02

11. Half decent hair and makeup, that's a huge improvement over this. The dress sucks large.

    By Vigilante, on April 26, 2007 11:50:14

12. when did they exhume jeff beck?

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 12:06:03

13. Wow. Every time there are new pictures, she's put on more normal. She'll really normal now. And enough with the sleeveless outfits - her arms are way too normal for that. The more she covers up, the better, so she looks better here than in other pics, but still, her face is so normal now that you can tell underneath the tarp, she's got rolls and rolls of normal.

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 12:13:20

14. She doesn't look bad at all. Granted, she's looked much hotter, but come on, she doesn't look like a cow or anything. Curvy women are gorgeous compared to their under weight bulimic 85 pound counterparts.

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 12:18:25

15. God give the woman a break. Granted she has gained weight, she isn't that bad. Not to mention her voice is amazing.

    By Kristen, on April 26, 2007 12:30:15

16. She's a bit chunky, but I'd hit it hard. Plus when she hits the high notes she looks like she could swallow a watermellon. That will make for some great "head".
    
    Also, this chick can blow. She is probably the best singer to come of American Idol, IMHO.

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 12:31:35

17. Kelly is a honey pot waiting to be licked and Jeff Beck set THE standard for guitar in the 60's and 70's for those of you who either had your head up your ass or was only a stain in your daddy's pants.
    So go fuck your EMO selves!

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 12:37:23

18. No, Jimmy Page was THE guitarist, and he still is. Jeff Beck has nothing on Jimmy Page.

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 12:46:40

19. "Wow. Every time there are new pictures, she's put on more normal. She'll really normal now. And enough with the sleeveless outfits - her arms are way too normal for that. The more she covers up, the better, so she looks better here than in other pics, but still, her face is so normal now that you can tell underneath the tarp, she's got rolls and rolls of normal."
    
    LMAO!!!!

    By normal, on April 26, 2007 12:47:28

20. You fat housewives drive me crazy. She looks awful. She is fucking FAT. Deal with it.

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 13:10:31

21. how many lamas you think she has under her dress V?

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 13:31:33

22. Ha Ha Ha!!! Nice one, 4:31!
    
    NONE. There was a whole herd but she ate 'em all. All that fluff, it's pure Kelly Belly.
    
    Fucking Llamas. I'm never going to be rid of them.

    By Vigilante, on April 26, 2007 13:43:50

23. Richie Blackmore would wipe the floor with Beck, and beats Page by only a very slim margin.

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 13:54:08

24. Looking more like TR Knight everyday...only fatter!

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 14:10:59

25. "You fat housewives drive me crazy. She looks awful. She is fucking FAT. Deal with it.
    
    "
    
    
    Wow, you obviously have some issues. Keep fucking your bulimic/anorexic bag of bones. Curvy women are HOT.

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 14:12:33

26. I prefer curvy chicks, skinny ones don't do it for me at all, but I still think these Kelly Clarkson posts are funny as fuck.

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 14:15:23

27. Curvy is one thing, but LUMPY is quite another.

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 14:16:39

28. Blackmore kicks Beck's ass, but he's still not even close to Page.

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 14:16:46

29. I like curvy chicks when they're tall and curvy. Clarkson is too short for that weight. She just looks short squatty and, sorry, but fat.

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 14:18:02

30. It would be nice if she had some tits to go with the rest of the curves.

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 14:19:24

31. Come on, her friggin' fingers fat! Arms too. You got fat fingers, by rule you're fat. But it just seems so quick that she's packing on the pounds. Is she knocked up?

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 14:22:57

32. What the hell are you people talking about? Kelly is gorgeous. She's not anorexic like Paris Hilton and she's got way more talent than most of those other bimbos out there.

    By David, on April 26, 2007 14:42:25

33. What talent does she have? She can sing? I know plenty of people who can sing. Does she play an instrument? Does she write all of her own songs? Can she drink milk and whistle through her nose at the same time?
    
    Are there other talents I should be aware of that I don't really want to think about?
    
    She has more going for her given that she appears to be able to sing, but I wouldn't call that talented.
    
    

    By Vigilante, on April 26, 2007 15:07:43

34. I used to play the trombone.

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 15:09:15

35. 6:09, you're awesome.

    By Vigilante, on April 26, 2007 15:34:18

36. <B>I TOTALLY KNOW WHERE YOU CAN GET BACON ICE CREAM!</B>
    
    but um, gross.
    
    ((scoops, los angeles. they have vegan ice cream, too! hit it!))

    By chelsea anne, on April 26, 2007 16:07:43

37. anon 04:10
    
    how on earth can you say "fat houseWIVES"!??! Half the people on this post are talking about how they'd totally fuck her, the other half are off on some huge guitarist debate. Seems to ME you should be pissed at the fat houseHUSBANDS on this thread, not housewives, since it's quite clear 90% of the people here are dudes.
    
    
    

    By jenner, on April 26, 2007 16:19:23

38. you know what the sad thing is? IN PERSON, she's probably NOT THAT big. we are so used to seeing twiggy girls, that Kelly is probably a size 8 or 10 in real life. i am a size 8, but when i photograph, i look GINORMOUS.

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 16:37:14

39. Yup. As many have pointed out, she's not anorexic. That's very, very, very clear.

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 16:59:07

40. "Wow, you obviously have some issues. Keep fucking your bulimic/anorexic bag of bones. Curvy women are HOT."
    
    That's genius!

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 17:12:07

41. no matter what you guys say, you cant deny she is a successful artist and sold millions of records and has millions of fans.
    
    Go ahead say she's fat, doesnt matter, its not gonna change how successful and famous she is.
    
    And please dont she isnt famous or successful, cuz you know and i know she is.

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 17:37:47

42. F F F F F F F FFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTT!!!

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 17:44:35

43. She looks like a larger, rounder, darker haired Jennifer Aniston.

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 18:48:42

44. @ 5:43 PM,
    Paris looks much, much better than Kelly CLarkson does. Seriously, scroll down to Paris' pic, and then look at the fat blaub Kelly. Huge difference (literally).

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 19:39:52

45. I've worked with hotter chicks behind a deli counter.

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 20:04:32

46. Bacon ice cream...hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!! Hilarious!

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 20:21:04

47. Wow. It's true she looks better than a dead anorexic (or a late-stage AIDS patient with dysentery, or whatever comparison the clarksonians will turn to next), but wow. Wowie wow wowzie. She was at our state fair last summer, to sing. I have a feeling she'll be back at our state fair in a few years. Not to sing.

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 21:15:26

48. Beck, Page, Blackmore...sheesh.
    
    *CLAPTON*
    
    end of argument

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 21:18:31

49. You guys would tap the blubber, I'd tap 'Grandpa'. Ha hahahaha. And Page, too, at the same time. I'd give 'em both a Viagra and Quaalude drip, first, smack them around a bit, put a pillow over their faces, then have my way.Oh, and their guitars come to bed with us, too. That said, any of you remember they played together in the Yardbirds? Apples and oranges. You can't compare Page and Beck; Page stole his riffs directly from the old southern blues guys, and Beck went off into jazz/fusion and played with the best musicians in the world. Both are masters. Ask the guy who plays the trombone. He'll tell ya.

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 21:19:59

50. Kelly is not curvy. Kelly is fat. And just because someone doesn't like fat chicks doesn't mean they automatically like anorexic chicks. There are lots of steps in between...Kelly just happens to be FAT.

    By anonymous, on April 26, 2007 22:53:54

51. April 26, 2007 (08:37:47 PM) anonymous said...
    "no matter what you guys say, you cant deny she is a successful artist ..."
    
    
    We can.
    And you could too if you't take a dictionary and look up the word "artist". It is not the fitting term for the winner of a fu*king karaoke tv show who doesn't know the first thing about music.

    By die Krautsalaten, on April 27, 2007 00:12:26

52. "And please dont she isnt famous or successful, cuz you know and i know she is."
    
    8:37, in the course of your rabid gushing you forgot to add a word. But in a strange way that sentence almost works, know why? Because fame and success are fickle bitches. This woman's fame is the result of her winning a glorified popularity contest, which has been the key to her current success.
    
    And you're right, her weight isn't going to change how successful she is. Her inability to stay relevant will. Look at Jeff Beck there. How many people born from the mid-eighties to now know who he is? Yet in the seventies he was incredibly popular (note I'm not getting into the "who's the better guitarist" debate), the Jeff Beck Group was somewhat of a household name much like Kelly Clarkson is now. So what happened to him? Well, he failed to stay relevant in the market of public opinion.
    
    Now you can argue with Beck that he's an artist and staying relevant doesn't matter because he'll always have die-hard fans. That argument will work for Beck because he has a true talent, he can play a guitar (it's a skill that transcends musical genres). What's Kelly's talent? She can sing?
    
    Well, in case you hadn't noticed the pop music industry is awash with young ladies who can "sing". Most with the aid of electronic intervention. So unless she diversifies (learn to play an instrument) and/or moves into a different facet of the music industry, she'll become old news.
    
    At her current rate I give her three years.
    
    
    

    By Vigilante, on April 27, 2007 07:11:37

53. Her performance on American idol was chilling. She has true talent.

    By anonymous, on April 27, 2007 07:22:31

54. Um, all of the guitarists mentioned would get down and kiss Jimi Hendrix's feet if he walked by them. (if he was alive of course)

    By anonymous, on April 27, 2007 09:22:31

55. Kelly Clarkson looks FAT. Lose weight, FATSO!

    By anonymous, on April 27, 2007 09:42:43

56. yes! of course! jimi hendrix! great point!!!
    
    except the debate is over the greatest LIVING guitarist. if we're to widen the parameters, i'll point out that GzzpQ13 from the planet Altron6 is the greatest guitarist of the 24th century according to all the star trek historical documents.

    By anonymous, on April 27, 2007 10:19:43

57. This stumpy midget bitch again, just die already so the fat chicks can nominate a new queen, then attempt to eat her.

    By mutterhals, on April 27, 2007 11:39:14

58. leave her alone, she makes more money in one day then you'll make in a lifetime

    By Katie, on April 27, 2007 17:36:23

59. (08:36:23 PM) - true. and she spends it all on food.

    By anonymous, on April 27, 2007 18:32:01

60. due. your f***ing stupid. that's jeff beck! are you crazy. her cool factor goes up 500% just standing next to a guitar god like beck!

    By saltyjew, on April 30, 2007 09:01:13

61. Ok, I get curvy, but beached whale? someone please put a lock over her fridge!

    By Diana, on April 30, 2007 21:51:42