After months of research in my garage, I've figured out how Kelly Clarkson keeps getting fatter and fatter. You see, Kelly's fat stomach is a primary component of The Big Machine. Every living organism acts and reacts in accordance with The Big Machine, and Kelly's stomach is a microcosm of the ever expanding universe. Did you know that the pancreas of Pablo Escobar was ground into a liquid and used as bike lubricant? When one divides the number 4,218,992 by cheddar cheese, and multiplies that product by the amount of semen consumed by Justin Timberlake every day, they get pumpkins. Stop talking, you must only speak when The Big Machine tells you to speak. You do not breathe, you only inhale air because The Big Machine tells you to inhale air. Whenever a rooster challenges Roger Rabbit to a game of one-on-one basketball, a chile starves to death in Senegal. Speaking of starving children, did you know that the space shuttle's windshield wipers are powered by raisins? The ancient Mongolians farmed these raisins, by drying grapes in their assholes. Their womens' vaginal passages were horizontal. Always be aware of your surroundings, watch out for Mormons performing blumpkins on elderly women. The Big Machine will always be watching and silently stirring spaghetti sauce.
she should learn how to dress. that top makes her ass look bigger and her boobs smaller. i thought the point of being a "celebrity" meant having smart people telling you what you should wear in order to compliment your body. and she really should start a diet... her ass looks like beyonce's or jlo's
We GET IT!! IT'S HER BROTHER! Now SHUT THE FUCK UP and stop writing the same comments over and over again. We don't give a fuck. He's still ugly and so is Kelly.
Nobody seems to care about the fact that her brother has eyes in his forehead? Come on, people! Either that or he has a giant ridge in his forehead to hold up his sunglasses.
oh, she actually looks really cute and happy in these pictures, not to mention like she's in her teens. Okay, I get it she's not a supermodel. But she looks happy, cute and healthy.
Big friggin deal, she's not gorgeous. She isn't a barbie-clone existing on coke and cigarettes. She's not drunk and she isn't showing her snatch either. She looks happy and like she's having fun.
She looks good no matter what she weighs,she got a great ass, can't beat that. So she doesn't care what u or anyone thinks. She a woman if she wants to eat so let her...Who wants a skinny chick,nothing but bones, i need meat on my girl....LOVE U KELLY.U guys r just jealous she has what it takes to make it in the business,A mind, plus she has more money then any of you. The guy in the pick is her brother.
34 Comments:
Leave Your CommentShe sure is and now she made me take off my pants and "wack my weiner" at work no less...OOOOOHHHHHHHHH, seriously though she is a hot one
By CreditCardsR.Us, on June 22, 2007 07:28:58
fat bitches need love too todd
By prettyboy, on June 22, 2007 07:29:42
She looks like a pregnant drunk homeless lesbian.
By anonymous, on June 22, 2007 07:31:59
Chunnnnkkk!
By Andrea, on June 22, 2007 07:33:57
that is her brother....
By anonymous, on June 22, 2007 07:37:20
He's to be commended for his work with overweight Down Syndrome girls.
By Simon C., on June 22, 2007 07:57:00
Yikes. Mena and then Kelly. Looks like it's Tardface Friday...
By anonymous, on June 22, 2007 08:04:48
T. R. Knight rules!
By CankenHank, on June 22, 2007 08:19:59
SLOTH LOVE... CLARKSON?
By anonymous, on June 22, 2007 08:33:45
OMG. It's evil when something is both so wrong and so funny at the same time.
By Laurie, on June 22, 2007 08:38:34
Never too early for a goonies references ...
By anonymous, on June 22, 2007 09:05:19
umm yea that guy is HER BROTHER
By Katie, on June 22, 2007 09:05:41
That's just so wrong but funny as hell at the same time.
By anonymous, on June 22, 2007 09:07:04
The army should recruit this guy, because he obviously doesn't mind jumping on the grenade.
By J-Bird, on June 22, 2007 09:07:08
That is a really really really ugly family.
By grossed out, on June 22, 2007 09:18:18
After months of research in my garage, I've figured out how Kelly Clarkson keeps getting fatter and fatter. You see, Kelly's fat stomach is a primary component of The Big Machine. Every living organism acts and reacts in accordance with The Big Machine, and Kelly's stomach is a microcosm of the ever expanding universe. Did you know that the pancreas of Pablo Escobar was ground into a liquid and used as bike lubricant? When one divides the number 4,218,992 by cheddar cheese, and multiplies that product by the amount of semen consumed by Justin Timberlake every day, they get pumpkins. Stop talking, you must only speak when The Big Machine tells you to speak. You do not breathe, you only inhale air because The Big Machine tells you to inhale air. Whenever a rooster challenges Roger Rabbit to a game of one-on-one basketball, a chile starves to death in Senegal. Speaking of starving children, did you know that the space shuttle's windshield wipers are powered by raisins? The ancient Mongolians farmed these raisins, by drying grapes in their assholes. Their womens' vaginal passages were horizontal. Always be aware of your surroundings, watch out for Mormons performing blumpkins on elderly women. The Big Machine will always be watching and silently stirring spaghetti sauce.
By Satan, on June 22, 2007 09:20:14
ewwwww they are not a cute couple at all...
By anonymous, on June 22, 2007 09:23:58
she should learn how to dress. that top makes her ass look bigger and her boobs smaller. i thought the point of being a "celebrity" meant having smart people telling you what you should wear in order to compliment your body.
and she really should start a diet... her ass looks like beyonce's or jlo's
By anonymous, on June 22, 2007 09:25:42
Kelly and Britney should get together...um...to work...on "music"...or porn (shudder!)...
By boomboomboom, on June 22, 2007 09:29:05
All she needs to do is buy some tits and she would look balanced since she is bottom heavy.
By anonymous, on June 22, 2007 09:30:48
That guy is JASON CLARKSON....her brother.
By anonymous, on June 22, 2007 09:32:14
We GET IT!! IT'S HER BROTHER! Now SHUT THE FUCK UP and stop writing the same comments over and over again. We don't give a fuck. He's still ugly and so is Kelly.
By anonymous, on June 22, 2007 09:33:35
So it's her brother. They're from Texas, they're probably fucking.
By J-Bird, on June 22, 2007 09:36:26
Nobody seems to care about the fact that her brother has eyes in his forehead? Come on, people! Either that or he has a giant ridge in his forehead to hold up his sunglasses.
By anonymous, on June 22, 2007 09:39:43
So, which one of them got the looks in the family?
By anonymous, on June 22, 2007 09:43:05
She's dating her brother!?!? Fucking inbred.....
By anonymous, on June 22, 2007 10:45:49
That is hilarious!
By anonymous, on June 22, 2007 11:43:28
Wow...only 27 posts so far? Where are the biggies?
By anonymous, on June 22, 2007 13:00:38
If I shat out these two mongos, I'd kill myself
By anonymous, on June 22, 2007 13:20:37
oh, she actually looks really cute and happy in these pictures, not to mention like she's in her teens. Okay, I get it she's not a supermodel. But she looks happy, cute and healthy.
By anonymous, on June 22, 2007 17:58:32
I don't care what any of you think. I'm happy, cute, and healthy.
By Porky Pig, on June 22, 2007 19:01:47
Big friggin deal, she's not gorgeous. She isn't a barbie-clone existing on coke and cigarettes. She's not drunk and she isn't showing her snatch either. She looks happy and like she's having fun.
By T, on June 22, 2007 19:45:28
I like her and like her looks too.
By anonymous, on June 23, 2007 18:41:30
She looks good no matter what she weighs,she got a great ass, can't beat that. So she doesn't care what u or anyone thinks. She a woman if she wants to eat so let her...Who wants a skinny chick,nothing but bones, i need meat on my girl....LOVE U KELLY.U guys r just jealous she has what it takes to make it in the business,A mind, plus she has more money then any of you. The guy in the pick is her brother.
By anonymous, on July 27, 2007 22:51:13
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