She looks like a 10-year-old boy (CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP)!!! She's not a real woman (CHOP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP)!!! If you like her, you're a pedophile (CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP)!!!
Real men like ME, and my rolls and gunt and flab and chins and folds and gaseous orafices (CHOMP CHOMP BUUUUUUUUURP)!
I would be more than happy to show Ms. Alba my penis (and maybe even offer her a demonstration of sorts) if she will just drop me a line. I had no idea that she was deprived in this way. Poor thing.
She's such a lame tease these days. She knows the difference, just like everybody else - if a woman is spotted masturbating in public, all the guys call their friends ("Dude!!!") and start jerking off; if a guy is spotted masturbating in public, the cops are called and he's arrested.
I have figured out why large women hate thin women. It is because each fat woman has parts of The Big Machine in their large intestines, and the machine creates and pumps out 34 PSI of gastric bile per nanosecond, causing spasms of hate and jealousy in the upper cerebellum. The dark ones and the big ones therefore make a perfect match, due to compatible components of The Big Machine. Did you know that Heilmann's uses Haley Joel Osment's snot to make mayonaisse? And Christina Aguilera was already pregnant 14 times, but her aborted fetuses were put in a blender and used to make bloody marys in an Irish bar in Boston. If you put a saddle on Hillary Swank and ride her like a horse, she will poop Italian Ice. This is convenient, because bacon grease can be used to combat terrorism. Cars in Iceland run on hydrogen but when they get parking tickets they turn into bamboo plants. How many toothbrushes does is take to clean Eva Longoria's anus? My guess is five. In certain South American villages, it is customary to drink the urine of your dinner guest, which can be a problem if you are trying to watch My Three Sons. If 20 large women run around a tree for 42 minutes, they will turn into pancakes. Always be aware of The Big Machine. Constantly watching. It may be too late for me, I fear it is not for you. Please eat a canteloupe in my absence.
Jessica - call me. Let's create a new mag featuring nude people. I'm ready to pose and I'm sure you are as well. Come to my hotel room around 1:00 am tonight and we can "film" the first session TOGETHER. I've even got my own camera (and film).... The theme of the first shoot will be "What's Behind Jessica?". The theme of the second shoot will be "Buns in the Oven: Jessica Becomes a Homemaker".
Here comments also beg the question, well, what state of penis? Do you crave hard-ons, Jess, or would you prefer floppies? Maybe half-staff is more your thing? It's curious...and I recently learned that 2 women I am close with had no idea there in fact, there is very little relationship between the size of a penis in its flaccid state and the size of the same penis in its erect state. Were you aware of that tidbit, Jess? Let's sign you up for some classes...
This makes no sense. Jessica is far too stupid for me to even comment on. Also Jessica Alba really isn't that hot. Your average Playmate of the month is hotter and has no problem being naked. Also if you've ever seen Jessica try and act, you realize said Playmate is problem a better actress.
Jessica Alba is really boring and annoying these days. And her head, is getting bigger and bigger, which makes her more annoying. How bout some Lucy Pinder pics? Keeley? Anyone?
She just really needs to STFU already. Stop giving interviews. Listening to her talk is like listening to a porn star talk. She's just so incredibly stupid. I wonder if she even finished high school. My guess is no.
It seems that everyone in Hollywood has their own way of whoring for attention. They can hang out in clubs, drunk and high, celebrate their birthday on the beach in a bikini so that the paparazzi will take pictures of you or this. So Jessica dearie, just shut the fuck up.
Why is ANY media outlet asking this one anything about anything? I'd much rather know what the hot 19 year old serving me a softie at the Dairy Queen is thinking rather than an "actress" whose career trajectory is pointing in the same direction as my grandmother's nipples! Tick tock, tick tock...that's the second counter on what's left of this one's big screen career: I mean how many sequels can there be left in a movie series that was DOA with the FIRST freaking effort?!? Let me hypothesize here: Next comes the Lifetime movie, followed in rapid succession by appearing opposite a giant ant in a SciFi Channel "special movie event", followed by a failed TV series, followed by oblivion...
I don't know what it is but J. Alba reminds me of a teenager. Yes, of course I think she's gorgeous and she knows it, obviously. Hopefully, her acting ability will improve and she can sink her teeth into more substantial, deep roles-if she's offered them. But saying things like this in magazines just reinforces the sexy "It Girl" of the moment thing.
She doesn't really do it for me anymore. I watched Sin City awhile back and thought I was going to get off watching her in it. I ended up blowing my load to the chick from Gilmore Girls.
She doesn't really do it for me anymore. I watched Sin City awhile back and thought I was going to get off watching her in it. I ended up blowing my load to the chick from Gilmore Girls. She has an ass that I could really get used to.
The comments so far have been so deep and introspective. Very thought provoking. good for you. As for me, I'm breaking up with my girlfriend and moving to Riverside so I can be that much closer to Jessica.
ah miss alba is at it again. trying to get noticed by saying another idiotic thing. What a hypocrite. She says that she is "shy" about showing her body and that she is just a simple girl (who likes one night stands she has said)
complains about how people don't take her seriously then she does more of these layouts. You better make up your mind, bitch.
How can we "objectify" someone who is already an object? It's like saying "I'm gonna objectify a chair". I mean, duh you if you ever considered having a chat with the chair... Pretty much like Jessica: no chat, just practical use.
Nice to see she contradicting herself almost immediately: "Nudity's not a big deal to me..." and then "I won't go naked because I don't want to". OF FUCKIN COURSE it's a big deal then, you fake liberal ho!
Jessica Alba and Eva Longeria are two of the most over-rated 'beauties' in the history of Hollywood. Alba is a stickwoman and its obvious all of those who believe her ass is incredible clearly don't have any real experience with the feminine ass.
Enough already. She was a stick armed joke as 'Dark Angel' and she looks nothing like Sue Storm. Elisa Cuthbert should've gotten the role because she looks like Jack Kirby drew her when he and Stan Lee first created the Fantastic Four. Lee should be ashamed for allowing this crap to pose as Invisible Girl. There's hordes of women in my sub more beautiful than Jessica.
38 Comments:
Leave Your CommentShe looks like a 10-year-old boy (CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP)!!! She's not a real woman (CHOP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP)!!! If you like her, you're a pedophile (CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP)!!!
Real men like ME, and my rolls and gunt and flab and chins and folds and gaseous orafices (CHOMP CHOMP BUUUUUUUUURP)!
By Here they come, on July 6, 2007 09:29:39
I would be more than happy to show Ms. Alba my penis (and maybe even offer her a demonstration of sorts) if she will just drop me a line. I had no idea that she was deprived in this way. Poor thing.
By jvon, on July 6, 2007 09:39:31
She's such a lame tease these days. She knows the difference, just like everybody else - if a woman is spotted masturbating in public, all the guys call their friends ("Dude!!!") and start jerking off; if a guy is spotted masturbating in public, the cops are called and he's arrested.
By anonymous, on July 6, 2007 09:41:16
I have figured out why large women hate thin women. It is because each fat woman has parts of The Big Machine in their large intestines, and the machine creates and pumps out 34 PSI of gastric bile per nanosecond, causing spasms of hate and jealousy in the upper cerebellum. The dark ones and the big ones therefore make a perfect match, due to compatible components of The Big Machine. Did you know that Heilmann's uses Haley Joel Osment's snot to make mayonaisse? And Christina Aguilera was already pregnant 14 times, but her aborted fetuses were put in a blender and used to make bloody marys in an Irish bar in Boston. If you put a saddle on Hillary Swank and ride her like a horse, she will poop Italian Ice. This is convenient, because bacon grease can be used to combat terrorism. Cars in Iceland run on hydrogen but when they get parking tickets they turn into bamboo plants. How many toothbrushes does is take to clean Eva Longoria's anus? My guess is five. In certain South American villages, it is customary to drink the urine of your dinner guest, which can be a problem if you are trying to watch My Three Sons. If 20 large women run around a tree for 42 minutes, they will turn into pancakes. Always be aware of The Big Machine. Constantly watching. It may be too late for me, I fear it is not for you. Please eat a canteloupe in my absence.
By Satan, on July 6, 2007 09:42:09
Jessica - call me. Let's create a new mag featuring nude people. I'm ready to pose and I'm sure you are as well. Come to my hotel room around 1:00 am tonight and we can "film" the first session TOGETHER. I've even got my own camera (and film).... The theme of the first shoot will be "What's Behind Jessica?". The theme of the second shoot will be "Buns in the Oven: Jessica Becomes a Homemaker".
By Wilbur Q. Stag, on July 6, 2007 09:55:56
If Jessica Alba were confronted with a naked dude's penis, she'd say "eeewwww, get that thing away from me!" in the most annoying bratty voice.
By anonymous, on July 6, 2007 09:57:02
So is Hanna Montana legal yet?
By anonymous, on July 6, 2007 10:07:57
Yeah, as soon as I read what she said, I immediately sent her nude pictures of myself. Who am I to turn down Jessica's request!
By anonymous, on July 6, 2007 10:19:35
Until she stops being a prude and shows her nipples, she can fuck off.
By Tony, on July 6, 2007 10:23:25
Here comments also beg the question, well, what state of penis? Do you crave hard-ons, Jess, or would you prefer floppies? Maybe half-staff is more your thing? It's curious...and I recently learned that 2 women I am close with had no idea there in fact, there is very little relationship between the size of a penis in its flaccid state and the size of the same penis in its erect state. Were you aware of that tidbit, Jess? Let's sign you up for some classes...
By annoying bitch in an Indian restaurant, on July 6, 2007 10:42:03
Such a wonderful bum....mmmmm
I'd eat that funky sand from her feet if it was a required pre-requisite to steamy, aerobic, doggystyle sex with her.
Yeah, I said that. It's Friday, so don't act surprised. lol
By joejoe, on July 6, 2007 10:43:25
picture a dude wearing a polo shirt and a nice watch with his dong hanging out.....
thats why
By anonymous, on July 6, 2007 10:55:00
This makes no sense. Jessica is far too stupid for me to even comment on. Also Jessica Alba really isn't that hot. Your average Playmate of the month is hotter and has no problem being naked. Also if you've ever seen Jessica try and act, you realize said Playmate is problem a better actress.
By TheBig28, on July 6, 2007 11:10:43
Who cares what she thinks, she will be gone in 5 years and replaced by another pretty brunete who will do nudity and can act.
By anonymous, on July 6, 2007 11:36:01
Jessica Alba is really boring and annoying these days. And her head, is getting bigger and bigger, which makes her more annoying. How bout some Lucy Pinder pics? Keeley? Anyone?
By the way, Hanna Montana is disgusting.
By dm, on July 6, 2007 11:57:22
She just really needs to STFU already. Stop giving interviews. Listening to her talk is like listening to a porn star talk. She's just so incredibly stupid. I wonder if she even finished high school. My guess is no.
By anonymous, on July 6, 2007 12:11:05
It seems that everyone in Hollywood has their own way of whoring for attention. They can hang out in clubs, drunk and high, celebrate their birthday on the beach in a bikini so that the paparazzi will take pictures of you or this. So Jessica dearie, just shut the fuck up.
By anonymous, on July 6, 2007 12:21:34
blah blah blah,"i'm not mexican/puerto rican or any type of hispanic. they're dirty. i just have sex for money."
lol. what a dumb bitch
By anonymous, on July 6, 2007 12:23:03
Come on? where are the tits and ass? is this a woman or a 12 year old?
By corey, on July 6, 2007 12:23:43
nah, too skinny. she needs some hips and a nice booty. like jessica biel. or scarlett.
By real woman are hot, on July 6, 2007 12:24:33
OMG! She is just sooo smart!
By anonymous, on July 6, 2007 12:44:00
She just wants to see other people "strip off" so that she can make fun of their every imperfection, like...ummm...here...
By anonymous, on July 6, 2007 14:21:13
Why is ANY media outlet asking this one anything about anything? I'd much rather know what the hot 19 year old serving me a softie at the Dairy Queen is thinking rather than an "actress" whose career trajectory is pointing in the same direction as my grandmother's nipples! Tick tock, tick tock...that's the second counter on what's left of this one's big screen career: I mean how many sequels can there be left in a movie series that was DOA with the FIRST freaking effort?!? Let me hypothesize here: Next comes the Lifetime movie, followed in rapid succession by appearing opposite a giant ant in a SciFi Channel "special movie event", followed by a failed TV series, followed by oblivion...
By anonymous, on July 6, 2007 14:35:04
I don't know what it is but J. Alba reminds me of a teenager. Yes, of course I think she's gorgeous and she knows it, obviously. Hopefully, her acting ability will improve and she can sink her teeth into more substantial, deep roles-if she's offered them. But saying things like this in magazines just reinforces the sexy "It Girl" of the moment thing.
By anonymous, on July 6, 2007 16:30:19
Nice bambi eyes. Won't give her any leftovers though.
By TheExpatriot, on July 6, 2007 17:16:42
I'll show her mine if she shows me hers.
By anonymous, on July 6, 2007 18:30:36
I'll show her mine if she shows me hers.
By anonymous, on July 6, 2007 18:30:39
She doesn't really do it for me anymore. I watched Sin City awhile back and thought I was going to get off watching her in it. I ended up blowing my load to the chick from Gilmore Girls.
By anonymous, on July 6, 2007 21:20:41
She doesn't really do it for me anymore. I watched Sin City awhile back and thought I was going to get off watching her in it. I ended up blowing my load to the chick from Gilmore Girls. She has an ass that I could really get used to.
By anonymous, on July 6, 2007 21:21:58
The comments so far have been so deep and introspective. Very thought provoking. good for you.
As for me, I'm breaking up with my girlfriend and moving to Riverside so I can be that much closer to Jessica.
By i don't like you in any way, on July 6, 2007 22:39:44
ah miss alba is at it again. trying to get noticed by saying another idiotic thing. What a hypocrite.
She says that she is "shy" about showing her body and that she is just a simple girl (who likes one night stands she has said)
complains about how people don't take her seriously then she does more of these layouts. You better make up your mind, bitch.
http://www.dlisted.com/node/9056
By anonymous, on July 7, 2007 11:57:18
sigh, she's so boring nowadays.
By anonymous, on July 7, 2007 12:14:47
How can we "objectify" someone who is already an object? It's like saying "I'm gonna objectify a chair". I mean, duh you if you ever considered having a chat with the chair... Pretty much like Jessica: no chat, just practical use.
Nice to see she contradicting herself almost immediately: "Nudity's not a big deal to me..." and then "I won't go naked because I don't want to". OF FUCKIN COURSE it's a big deal then, you fake liberal ho!
By anonymous, on July 8, 2007 17:18:43
Jessica Alba and Eva Longeria are two of the most over-rated 'beauties' in the history of Hollywood.
Alba is a stickwoman and its obvious all of those who believe her ass is incredible clearly don't have any real experience with the feminine ass.
Enough already. She was a stick armed joke as 'Dark Angel' and she looks nothing like Sue Storm. Elisa Cuthbert should've gotten the role because she looks like Jack Kirby drew her when he and Stan Lee first created the Fantastic Four. Lee should be ashamed for allowing this crap to pose as Invisible Girl. There's hordes of women in my sub more beautiful than Jessica.
By susanist, on July 8, 2007 21:50:38
Bitch, stop reading comic books. Wash the black dye out of your hair and do something with your life.
By anonymous, on July 9, 2007 10:08:27
susanist, 100% agreed.
And I'm a guy.
By anonymous, on July 9, 2007 13:05:33
when do we stop hearing about this nasty bitch?
she looks like my 10 year old mexican nephew
By geoff, on July 9, 2007 18:53:17
she's a boring 12-yr old boy, but i agree...more wang!
By cpt obvious, on July 9, 2007 20:22:46
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