Kate, Kate, Kate ... whew, um, my level of utter offendedness knows no bounds when it comes to you because I want so much to like you, but I feel obligated not to like you. Know why? Lemme try to explain. Bear with me, because I've had a couple courage inducing drinks (and thanks, Firefox, for all those underlines, and offendedness is a word as far as I'm concerned, so fuck off). Back on topic ... Kate, you were in one of my favoritest movies (favoritest is another word, dicks). And you were married to one of my favoritest bands, then you broke them up, but I still respected you and gave you the benefit of the doubt, but I give up. Here you are acting like you can sing even though you can't sing and can't act, and you should have embraced the nepotism-groupie-ness that is your life with a little more humility before you ruined everything, Yoko. And I don't even like The Beatles enough to feel worthy of using that reference. Why don't you suck in a good way, Kate Hudson?

These are dated July 18th at a hotel in Italy: