IDontLikeYouInThatWay.com: Don't Fart Near Tom Cruise

Don't Fart Near Tom Cruise

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Now, see, I don't get it. Scientology is all about ridding the body of Thetans, right? Well then how does Mr. Fancy "I Wanna Be A Dandy Nazi" Pants know that's not what buddy was doing when he let one rip?

"OUT, DAMNED THETAN!!!"

Fuuuuurrrrrrrrrrt

By Vigilante, on September 28, 2007 13:53:05
Better hope it wasn't some hot guy, or Tom just might have to spank him.

By anonymous, on September 28, 2007 14:03:24
How bad is that movie gonna bomb? I'd say as bad as the one that guy laid during the moment of silence.

By anonymous, on September 28, 2007 14:08:09
Sounds like a typical reaction coming from somebody who thinks their shit doesn't stink.

By anonymous, on September 28, 2007 14:08:20
Hasn't he ever accidentally let one slip out? It happens. The crew probably thinks he is as much of a joke as the rest of the world.

By anonymous, on September 28, 2007 14:19:53
Ask me for a moment of silence for supposed WWII German war heroes and I'd fart too. If you fought for the Germans during WWII you're at best a fool and more likely evil. Pure, real evil. Not evil like that Xemu crap.

By TheBig28, on September 28, 2007 14:30:28
Hitler is ZENU.

By Elmer Fudd, on September 28, 2007 15:55:51
Tom's farts stopped making any sound a looooong time ago.

By Brucie Boy, on September 28, 2007 16:41:55
those closeted homosexuals get so touchy when it comes to gas! a shame, really.

By anonymous, on September 28, 2007 18:30:11
You're welcome. It's just a little thing I like to call my Fist of the Back Wind

By Holden Magroin, on September 28, 2007 18:38:22
I came up with this reply about Germans and gas chambers, but if I post it, then Tom Cruise wins...

I do have to wonder, though - was it the sound or the smell that tipped Tom off?

By anonymous, on September 28, 2007 19:46:04
Hahaha, oh man, this has been the funniest threat in a looong time, I'm dying from laughter here ....

By anonymous, on September 28, 2007 20:02:46
Gee, ever thought about that people were forced to fight or they would have gotten killed?

By anonymous, on September 28, 2007 20:20:19
Thiss is whay tooo funny artic;le....I ccant even ttype straight here. Hhahahahaha.

By anonymous, on September 28, 2007 20:29:47
Guys, let's no descend into some retarded conversation about WWII. It's tom cruise and farting ... let's keep it at that ...

By anonymous, on September 28, 2007 20:36:22
He's such a Captain Douchebag--the uniform suits him!

By anonymous, on September 28, 2007 21:59:15
Amazing with the type of money this guy has he can't find a decent looking suit. Everyone of his suits looks like he shops in Harlem, NY. Next thing we will see is TOm wearing a fuzzy pimp hat and goldfish boots. What a tool.

By Moli Mol, on September 28, 2007 22:18:05
This is so god damn hilarious! Best story EVERRRR!!!! LOL.....Imagine being the guy who farted and trying to hold in your laughter while you're doing it. Oh god, HAHAH.

By anonymous, on September 29, 2007 01:19:13
do you think that he gets off on looking at himself in the mirror with that nazi costume?

By anonymous, on September 29, 2007 02:45:03
Oohh aren't I a big handsome man in this uniform?

By Tom Cruise *hearts*, on September 29, 2007 04:47:58
You know, this came up last night at a party I went to. We wondered if it was the smell or the sound that tipped him off too.

Apparently Tom doesn't know what Miss Manners has said on farts and other bodily noises. The polite thing to do, according to Miss Manners, is ignore the sound/smell/whatever and pretend like it never happened.

But not Tommy boy. Oh no, he's got to turn the whole thing into one big confrontation. He's been all up in people's faces for a while now. Remeber this?

"If you don't like Scientology...if you don't believe in it...then fuck you. FUCK YOU."

Yeah. Getting the feathers on your boa all ruffled over minor issues really puts a positive spin on Scientology there Tommy boy. Really makes me feel comfortable knowing if we ever met face to face you wouldn't persecute me for not believing that aliens are plotting our doom, or scream at me if I happened to burp in your presence.

It's just a fart, man. Let it go.

By Vigilante, on September 29, 2007 05:51:24
damn, look at that girl's eyes. there's no fucking way she isn't undergoing extreme psychological pressure.

By nona, on September 29, 2007 09:23:01
what a crybaby! HE has absolutely NO sense of humor whatsoever!

By anonymous, on September 29, 2007 10:42:40
Katie looks 90!

By T, on September 29, 2007 13:00:45
I wonder if his wife has to run with her farts, like to an empty corner?

Cause that's a lot of pressure. No wonder she looks so unhappy.

By anonymous, on September 29, 2007 13:45:54
One day, I hope to meet Tom Cruise. I want to eat a whole bunch of chili, broccoli, brussels sprouts, and veggie burgers beforehand. He'll fall in love with me.

By anonymous, on September 29, 2007 15:43:41
In Iran, we don't have gas like in your country. We don't have that in our country. In Iran, we do not have this phenomenon. I do not know who has told you that we have it.

By Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, on September 29, 2007 16:08:06
Scientologists are all going to hell.

By Gertrude, on September 29, 2007 17:33:59
Katie Holmes looks about 40 years old now.

By anonymous, on September 29, 2007 18:18:00
I'd love to shake the nut's hand, give him a "nanu nanu" and blow a power fart.

By anonymous, on September 29, 2007 23:28:20
imagine TC 10,20,30 yrs from now? it's only going to get worse...

By you've been warned, on September 29, 2007 23:49:44
Do you think Tom farts in front of his wife?

By anonymous, on September 30, 2007 05:03:20
That haircut makes him look like an even bigger cult freak!

By anonymous, on September 30, 2007 10:03:19
poor katie, she is the living example of why you dont have to marry some phyco like Cruise.....

By anonymous, on September 30, 2007 15:39:30
Wow... Motherhood just doesnt agree with everybody. She has aged like 10 years. They both look about 35. And she just looks listless and depressed.

By anonymous, on September 30, 2007 17:26:45
20:20:19-
Gee, ever thought about that people were forced to fight or they would have gotten killed?

AHH NO. i do NOT think that. you are telling me that you would have participated in those horrible crimes against women and children (& men of course)just to save YOUR life? i sure hope not.
i know i wouldn't. i bet many more people would rather be killed than do that just to save themselves.

if there WERE german war heros wouldn't we hear about them all the time? i mean, we know about ordinary civilians who risked their lives to save jews. when have you heard of an honorable german soldier who did anything to help or prevent the murders?
my guess is that tom cruise is kissing ass to germany so he can make his shitty ass movie that no one wants to see.

By anonymous, on September 30, 2007 23:14:04
The reason Tom got so upset was that it was a backdoor queef by his on-the-set butt buddy, and everybody saw the semen trail dripping down.

By Your Mom's Secret Internet Life, on October 1, 2007 05:28:36
Let's get a little perspective here. Breaking wind is "unforgiveable?" If the person came forward and was contrite, apologized, honestly stated that it was an accident (not a planned disruption of lil' Tom's special moment), and was totally sincere, that person could not be forgiven for it? And this is in the context of making a movie about WWII, the Nazis, and a plot to kill a man responsible for killing 6 million others?

That's like looking at the four story parking garage next to the Sears Tower in Chicago, and calling the parking garage a really big building. Somebody's missed the bigger picture.

Strength and honor.

Anonymous

By anonymous, on October 1, 2007 08:45:06
Well,
farts is not the problem, I think so. Everybody in elsewhere farts. Day, noon and night. Slaves and kings and queens, cops, teachers, etc.
But please, silence in memorial must be respected.

By heli , on October 1, 2007 11:32:55
Sometimes, you can't help it. Plus, it's a natural, important body function.

He really needs to get over it and himself.

By nica, on October 1, 2007 13:38:38
"Aaaaand in the lead...

It's Scientology leading Christianity by a nose...

They're neck and neck...

NECK AND NECK!!!

And, Ladies and Gentlemen, from behind...

It's the LONGSHOT!!!!

Hoof-hearted for the lead!!!!

It's HOOF-HEARTED!!!!!

HOOF-HEARTED-HOOF-HEARTED-HOOF-HEARTED!!!!!!

HOOF-HEARTED FOR THE WIN!!!!!

Awww, Ladies and Gentlemen! Whatta Race!

That's certainly one for the history books, folks!"

By Vigilante, on October 1, 2007 14:45:03
silence in memorial, yes, respecfulness is a given.
however, what is the point of respecting a bunch of nazis??

By anonymous, on October 1, 2007 14:45:29
silence in memorial, yes, respecfulness is a given.
however, what is the point of respecting a bunch of nazis??

By anonymous, on October 1, 2007 16:17:58
...in junior-high, our science teacher called a boy out for farting, told him to go to the washroom and wipe his ass, then come back and apologize to the class. the kid walked out of the class and kept walking. his father called the science teacher a "nazi." true story...what does it all mean?....

By tom cruise is ridiculous, on October 1, 2007 19:14:16