IDontLikeYouInThatWay.com: Gwyneth Paltrow Isn't Happily Married

Gwyneth Paltrow Isn't Happily Married

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Apparently Chris Martin woke up, turned around, looked at Gwyneth and realized that as a rock star in his prime, he could have done much better. As in Elisha Cuthbert-Scarlett Johansson better.

Gwyneth hasn't been hot since "Flesh and Bone," which was about the time Meg Ryan's looks also began going to shit. Time for her to shut up, and take herself, along with Apple and whatever her son's name, and burrow themselves into the foundation of some Scottish castle somewhere. For everyone's sake.

By Sevenmack, on September 4, 2007 10:19:14
Damn! Now there's no chance for a third kid named Grape or Zamboni.

By Nika, on September 4, 2007 10:19:24
i hate this bitch. her along with johnny depp and madonna. all 3 of them married europeans and then talk about americans being unciviled like they aren't from here. I'm not too fond of this country either but the last thing I'd want to be is a european-wannabe

By prettyboy, on September 4, 2007 10:41:46
I was hoping they would name their next kid 'Calzone'...

Or Spanikopitta even....

Gee, I sure hope I can sleep tonight knowing that two people, who I wouldn't donate blood to, are unhappily married...

Better go get some of that SleepyTime tea...

By joejoe, on September 4, 2007 10:42:29
It's a MAN, baby!!

By anonymous, on September 4, 2007 10:45:09
todd, you rule. coldplay fucking sucks and gwyneth is ugly. well, chris martin is ugly too.

By anonymous, on September 4, 2007 10:56:20
The ONLY role I ever liked Paltrow in was The Royal Tenenbaums. Then again if it was anybody else in that role, it wouldn't have made a difference. That said, I pretty much hate her. She reeks of privilege.

By anonymous, on September 4, 2007 10:59:17
...but Chris Martin hasn't been seen in public for months? So of course they've not been seen together, if he's magically turned into some kind of cave dwelling hermit.

By anonymous, on September 4, 2007 11:57:31
I don't like her and I hate Coldplay. They should join Madonna and go to hell. What was all the fuzz about her cover on W?

By Ivy, on September 4, 2007 12:00:16
gwennie is a cunt and chris is a pompus ass...how in the hell did this relationsip NOT work?

By anonymous, on September 4, 2007 12:44:03
She got hit by an ugly stick.

By Big L, on September 4, 2007 13:12:01
Paltrow does not hold any views not held by 80% of Hollywood actors and actresses.

By Bell Curve, on September 4, 2007 13:17:52
Watch her now resort to all kinds of inane shit to get attention and let men know she's back on the market; like going out without panties on maybe. Mmmm, steaky!

By Angryman, on September 4, 2007 14:08:24
Gwyneth Paltrow is a stupid cunt so this isn't all that surprising.

By Tony, on September 4, 2007 14:16:24
I bet she's so jealous of Brangelina, thinking she was an idiot to dump Brad. Now he's even hotter with Angelina on his arm rather than that fugly Jennifer Maniston. But Brad is happy she broke his heart, because now he found the hottest female celeb out there, and she's the mother of his baby !! So go and put it back there, Gwennie! You'll have to sit back and think about what you could've had with a better guy than that anemic-sounding musician you're married to.

-- BrangelinaFan

By anonymous, on September 4, 2007 17:47:15
I bet she's so jealous of Brangelina, thinking she was an idiot to dump Brad. Now he's even hotter with Angelina on his arm rather than that fugly Jennifer Maniston. But Brad is happy she broke his heart, because now he found the hottest female celeb out there, and she's the mother of his baby !! So go and put it back there, Gwennie! You'll have to sit back and think about what you could've had with a better guy than that anemic-sounding musician you're married to.

-- BrangelinaFan

By anonymous, on September 4, 2007 17:47:23
Paltrow was a decent actress. I liked her until she bashed America. Now she can go to hell. And she chose really stupid names for her kids.

By anonymous, on September 4, 2007 18:02:09
Maybe she can go cry on ANT-ONY Hopkins' shoulder.

Yes, she is such good friends with ANT-ONY.

After all, she just loves to point out to the public that we all pronounce ANT-ONY incorrectly.

_____

I really hope this bitch dies.

By anonymous, on September 4, 2007 18:05:59
She looks like a man. Nobody wants to wake up next to a woman that looks like a man every day.

By anonymous, on September 4, 2007 18:26:07
she really isn't that great of an actress. But it is kind of amusing to come up with names that she would've probably named her future kids with him -- like Steel, Zimbabwe or Checkers

By anonymous, on September 4, 2007 19:26:19
gwyneth needs to change her name to *sanctimonious paltrow*.

By anonymous, on September 4, 2007 20:10:36
She's made a great Mister Ed.

By anonymous, on September 4, 2007 20:35:11
WHY is this woman famous!? I thought Hollywood was all about beauty, so what's with this chick?? She's all dolled up with a ton of makeup and I still would look so much better than her after I've been awake for two nights with a cold.

By Annica, on September 4, 2007 22:38:01
Bitch looks like a she-male.

By anonymous, on September 4, 2007 23:03:17
Palimpsest

By anonymous, on September 5, 2007 00:47:02
Wow.. they're splitting up? I'm so surprised... She looks like shit... she was never attractive..

By anonymous, on September 5, 2007 04:35:16
I don't care and I wouldn't have posted if the Nickleback crack didn't make me laugh. Good one!

By anonymous, on September 5, 2007 05:11:46
man has this marriage every wiped her out...she looks old and used up.

By pen, on September 5, 2007 06:54:58
Anyone who names their daughter apple. has to be a retarded dumb attetntion whore fuck face!!!

By anonymous, on September 5, 2007 08:44:36
I can't stand her - she stinks of privilege and always come across as so frigid. It's like she's pained to ever smile. And she's not talented at all.

Coldplay sucks. I've hated them ever since Chris spoke about wanting to be better than Radiohead. Idiot. Radiohead is genius and he's an idiot who named his child Apple.

By anonymous, on September 5, 2007 11:10:26
What's Apple's middle name, Pie-alaMode, and is Moses' Parted-theredsea? No wonder England sent us Posh, it was their revenge for Madge and the other over-rated, stuck up cunt, Fishsticks.

By anonymous, on September 5, 2007 11:22:41
really? She recently spent FOUR FREAKING HOURS in a salon and this is the best she can look for an event. Ugh--Wngland can keep her skanky self

By anonymous, on September 5, 2007 13:12:16
I love her and think she's beautiful. I also think Chris Martin is beautiful and they are beautiful together with their kids. I hope they are happy and this is not true.

By Lisa, on September 5, 2007 13:56:38
I saw them out to eat about 3 months ago at Katsuya in Brentwood. Not sure I believe this.

By Daniel, on September 5, 2007 14:39:53
She probably got tired of looking at his hair plugs, I know he gets them done at their home from a good source.

By Mogan, on September 5, 2007 14:57:55
the reason why people like fishsticks and madonna "hate" america, is because that in europe it is still a largely, classist and segregated society where you can have people bow down to you and you are considered "above the law and reproach" based on your income. seriously, if you think it's bad in america, you should try living in the UK or europe. in their culture, they make rugs out of people who are considered "less than" by people like gwyneth or george clooney. being the pompous, elitist scum they are this suits their ilk just fine.

By mf, on September 5, 2007 14:59:33
Paltrow is not ageing well, and has never had the elegant good looks of her mother Blythe Danner. Middle age is setting in for Gwynnie all too fast.

By anonymous, on September 5, 2007 15:53:36
Gwyneth IS a santimonious, pretentious asshole. She irks me, but she is not an America hater. Please. As a citizen, she has a right to be concerned about her country and criticize it if she wants to. Frankly, since Mr. Asshole became President there has been a hell of a lot to criticize.

If you criticize your kids for doing drugs or bullying other kids, does that mean you hate them?????? I think not. Grow up.

By Angelique, on September 5, 2007 17:24:27
Plugs rumer aside, the hair was the incompatibility issue. Thin-bland-too long-rooted-outdated hippe-I've-had-this-hair do-for-6-years + white man's ugly fro= CALAMITY!!

By fix you, on September 5, 2007 17:50:41
She looks like crap, and she has for a few years. I guess "cupping" didn't suck all the fug out of her holier-than-thou ass.

By Angelique, on September 5, 2007 18:42:25
i've heard chris martin has been hooking up w/ helena christensen

By anonymous, on September 6, 2007 00:45:07
wow. People really hate this woman. I mean, REALLY hate her.

By alliecat, on September 6, 2007 05:02:20
hopefully the pain of the divorce will cause this self rightous bitch to consider suicide. you are not welcome here you piece of crap.

By solorunner, on September 6, 2007 05:17:53
She may not hate American but she HAS been hateful towards Americans. It's not her political views or criticisms that have gotten her into trouble. It's the fact that she's made ignorant generalizations about people's intelligence based on what country they're from. If she made the same comments about race or gender, she'd be considered a racist or sexist.

That being said, she's not aging well.

By Edith, on September 6, 2007 16:30:22
Finally! People are beginning to realize that this woman hates the people who made her a star and gave her an (undeserved) Oscar. The American people paid for you to live outside the country, Gwynnie. Hey! I guess we do have some taste after all!

By Samantha, on September 9, 2007 08:24:19
All marriages go through trouble. She like all of us needs to be loved and give love too. I hope her yoga/meditation help her keep clear until her married life is one of love.

By ilovemywife, on September 22, 2007 11:50:13