IDontLikeYouInThatWay.com: Jessica Alba Was a 6th Grade Slut

Jessica Alba Was a 6th Grade Slut

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uhhh, where are the big boobs?

By anonymous, on February 28, 2008 09:44:08
I guess it drove her to have a breast reduction surgery.

By anonymous, on February 28, 2008 09:50:00
i teach hip hop at the centa'

By honey, on February 28, 2008 09:51:26
"uhhh, where are the big boobs?"

It was sixth grade.

By Reading Comprehension, on February 28, 2008 09:57:23
I can't stop laughing at how bad these photos are. She can't even act in still photographs. She's been "acting" for 15 years and she's still such a hopeless case.

By anonymous, on February 28, 2008 09:59:20
She doesn't have "big tits". She's probably a 32 B, but they just look big because she's a small person.

By anonymous, on February 28, 2008 10:00:44
She has so many hard-earned lessons to share. She's going to be a great mom.

By Not Too Late For The Vacuum, on February 28, 2008 10:01:00
Is the 4th pic a scene from Home Alone? Even now she's a small B cup at most. Maybe she misheard and they were really calling her a word that starts with s and ends with pic.

By anonymous, on February 28, 2008 10:12:32
Yeh. I can't imagine how hard it must have been growing up in the Latin hood without knowing a single word of Spanish.

She's lucky to be alive. I guess her boobs saved her.

By anonymous, on February 28, 2008 10:14:39
Despite her ceaseless efforts, she'll never get people to feel sorry for her.

By poops, on February 28, 2008 10:17:59
I heard she gave all the boys blow jobs in sixth grade.

By anonymous, on February 28, 2008 10:18:30
She was a lot hotter before she got all skinny and became a huge bitch.

By Abram, on February 28, 2008 10:20:05
Oh boohoo Jessica. I hope your kid or whatever it is will be ugly so it will have some real problems. Maybe your kid will be a slut because they won't fit in being ugly and sex will be the only thing that will catapult your kid to the top...hmmm does that sound familiar Jessica? BTW Idle Hands fucking sucked and all your other movies did too.

By I hate Hippies, on February 28, 2008 10:26:45
I feel SOOOO SORRY for her and her millions! All of us living paycheck to paycheck are really worried about poor Jessica!

By anonymous, on February 28, 2008 10:26:48
Leave it to Alba to tell others to use birth control while having a kid out of wedlock herself.

By anonymous, on February 28, 2008 10:28:00
Most kids get picked on in school. Kids are mean. It's better to be called a "slut" than be the "fat girl" or the "pizza face" or the "nerd" who gets beat up by the jocks every day. STFU Alba.

By anonymous, on February 28, 2008 10:28:26
She'd be a lot prettier if her mouth was sewn shut.

By anonymous, on February 28, 2008 10:30:21
Boys are "made of nothing but hormones until they're about 20 or 21"?

How naive. 80 or 81, more like.

By Vigilante, on February 28, 2008 10:32:37
Those pictures look like I do when one of her movies comes on and I can't find the remote. Jessica and Madonna should get together and have an acting head cutting contest.

By anonymous, on February 28, 2008 10:37:43
what?

By anonymous, on February 28, 2008 10:54:14
Erm, I'm pretty sure there was more to her being called a slut than her "big" boobs. 6th grade kids aren't stupid and don't make accusations without reason.

By male slut, on February 28, 2008 11:09:44
It's better to be called a slut? Well it never hurt me then but I'm very thick skinned and I knew since I had never even kissed a boy (and they knew this too) that they were just jealous.

=)

By voracious, on February 28, 2008 11:11:23
Yeah, I'm thinking she was called a slut because she was a slut.

By anonymous, on February 28, 2008 11:19:50
I bet her vulva tastes like a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup

By anonymous, on February 28, 2008 11:29:52
Jessica is cute but the fact that she saids that herself by talking about how everyone was jealous of her hotness or implying that in an obvious statement could be such a turnoff.

By anonymous, on February 28, 2008 11:45:21
Nice picture of her on all fours. Makes me fantasize of fucking her doggy style. Mmmmm...

By anonymous, on February 28, 2008 11:57:31
has Cash got a boner in that picture?

By M.M, on February 28, 2008 12:04:52
Yet another big star that wants my pity.

She should visit the kids working in the sweat shops of the clothes she endorses.

By anonymous, on February 28, 2008 12:43:16
SHE IS GROSS! NOT ONLY DID SHE GET HERPES FROM JETER BECAUSE SHE WAS A WHORE, She is plain dumb!!

I love her quote about "ONE NIGHT STANDS"..

“I could have a one-night stand, and I’m the kind of girl who looks over in the morning and is like, ‘Do you really have to be here?’ I don’t need to cuddle and do all that stuff because I know what it is and I don’t try to make it more.

“I feel like a lot of women try to make it into more, so they don’t feel so bad about just wanting to have sex. I don’t really have a problem with just wanting sex. Never have.

“Even when I was a virgin and wanted to marry the first guy who I slept with, I never passed any judgments about that. But now I’m done with dating around.”

By anonymous, on February 28, 2008 12:47:03
If they are the same size as they are now, her rack was probably considered huge by 12 year old standards.

I also like that she says guys are made of nothing but hormones until "20 or 21".

Hey Jess....I'm 30, and I wanna nail every decent to good looking woman within a 100 mile radius. The shit doesnt go away after college.

By Jim, on February 28, 2008 12:58:44
So...does she just not have a publicist? That's what publicists are for, right? To shape your image in such a way that the fans who you rely on to make you rich don't get turned off by your idiocy and stop paying in? If I were her publicist, I would ONLY sign her up for photoshoots, never interviews.

...On second thought, looking at those "horror movie" shots, maybe I would just euthanize her. Yes. Yes, that is the only way.

By Over it, on February 28, 2008 13:13:04
Boo hoo, years and years ago someone called her a slut. Oh the trauma. Oh the shame. Oh the ignominy ...
Oh, shut the fuck up.

By catman, on February 28, 2008 13:16:04
Only thing is, she's not that hot...

And no big boobs anywhere to be found. Maybe in 6th grade when no girls had any boobs, but, really, why coming up with that now that she hasn't gotten much?

By anonymous, on February 28, 2008 13:21:01
I hope she dies during childbirth and the last thing she sees is the face of her cerebral-palsied baby going into a grand mal seizure.

By too harsh?, on February 28, 2008 14:21:21
^^^yikes.

By Niecy, on February 28, 2008 14:53:37
Damn those pictures are bad. Except the one with her on all fours. Why did she settle for Cash? Methinks she does have herpes and thinks hes the best shes gonna get.

By anonymous, on February 28, 2008 15:17:06
38 here, Jess. More hormones than ever, thank you very much.

By anonymous, on February 28, 2008 15:26:36
I think people pick on this woman too much...which goes to show that she gets way more attention that what she does warrants...so people are interested in what she does and says.

Anyway, the stuff that happens in school can sting, especially if you haven't dealt with it in someway. Based on the kinds of things she says regarding her ethnicity, her looks, and her childhood, I think she has a ton of unresolved shit that she should pay attention to. Maybe being an actress and living in fantasyland isn't the best place to do this.

By anonymous, on February 28, 2008 15:33:56
What the teachers and the PTA moms had sex with her? wow she was a slut

By anonymous, on February 28, 2008 15:51:46
FYI 90% of all teenage girls are sluts. Well slut is kind of harsh and sexist lets just say girls get horny too.

By anonymous, on February 28, 2008 17:25:31
oh no, Vigilante don't tell me that! I will be 100, or 101 when my ex gets to that point! :(

By Florida girl, on February 28, 2008 19:08:42
Sports911 - You know what this means don't YOU?!! All of his other famous relationships could have contracted the STD TOO! Derek's most famous sexual conquest include Mariah Carey, Jessica Alba, Vanessa Minnillo and most recently Jessica Biel. Which means JT could have it AAAH!!

By anonymous, on February 28, 2008 21:15:52
ok, so I was in 6th grade with Jessica Alba and all I remember about her was how bitchy and mean she was to me. I have never seen any of her movies because of how she acted when we were younger, and I wont ever!!

By anonymous, on February 29, 2008 00:58:59
"elementary school principle" -> "elementary school principal"

By anonymous, on February 29, 2008 02:48:48
10:12 shes portraying scenes from horror movies. That fourth pic depicts rosemary's baby.

By anonymous, on February 29, 2008 05:28:22
I love this site. Celebs are so into their own angst.

By anonymous, on February 29, 2008 05:40:18
Sorry Florida Girl. It's at least that age or older. Doesn't end even after they've stopped breathing either. One of my senior relatives pitched a tent in a body bag as they were taking him out of the house.

Apparently there was an uncomfortable silence as they wheeled him through the living room until my Aunt piped up "Well, look at that. There must be topless girls in heaven!".

God I miss that Aunt. She was a riot.

By Vigilante, on February 29, 2008 06:30:05
Haha "too harsh", you are fucking AWESOME, and no, you are not too harsh. I love it, but then again, I have no soul, so maybe I'm not the best judge of what is or isn't "appropriate". But honestly, we don't need this vapid, whiny, useless, talentless cunt to breed, so perhaps wishing bad things on her future worthless child is the only way to go. LOL.

By anonymous, on February 29, 2008 19:13:42
Wow, she is pretty hypocritical, telling people to use condoms and birth control. It's also strange to me that when she went on Tyra, she said she uses body doubles for any scenes involving showing body parts and will not do any nudity in movies, yet she bends over like this for the paparazzi, wears see through bikinis, plays a stripper and gets pregnant before marriage. Hypocrite and also, a dumb ass ho!

By anonymous, on March 3, 2008 01:24:58