27 Comments:

• Tom Cruise doesn't ask for permission when he drives by starlets and decides to hold an audition for the role of sperm depository. He just does it, because he knows he's the only one who can do anything about it. (inane giggling)

  By Rick Sparks, on March 10, 2008 09:12:44

• This report is funny.

  By anonymous, on March 10, 2008 09:21:54

• Yeah, Tom's head might have exploded. If he wasn't GAY.
  
  Big stars have "trouble" meeting women. Sure they do. Just ask George Clooney. Or Leo DiCaprio. Or everyone else who isn't gay. They all seem to be doing pretty well with the ladies. Tom should just take what he's learned at all the glory holes and tranny bars and aboard John Travolta's plane, and apply it to the heterosexual world. I mean, with him being such a great actor and everything, he shouldn't have any "trouble."

  By nicole kidman, on March 10, 2008 09:22:36

• Poor, poor Katie.

  By anonymous, on March 10, 2008 09:56:06

• Pity he didn't wind up choosing a pretty young uknown oriental actress who led him on for a few weeks then went psycho and cut off his foot with razor wire.
  
  Oh well at least he didn't choose Scarlett Johansson, we've got to get at least one decent nude scene out of that girl before we let her turn into some fucked up Hollywood freakshow.

  By That guy who just ruined a good movie for you, on March 10, 2008 10:23:25

• Who is the girl on the left in the top picture?

  By anonymous, on March 10, 2008 10:41:35

• That's Erika Christensen.

  By anonymous, on March 10, 2008 10:51:42

• Dear "That guy who just ruined a good movie for you",
  
  Someone tried to rip off my snowmobile last night. I was going to set a snare with plain nylon rope but razor wire sounds much more painful. Thanks for the great idea!
  
  Love, V.
  
  PS: Tom Cruise? Meh.
  

  By Vigilante, on March 10, 2008 11:14:30

• Jennifer Garner was his first choice??? Great. More proof that the guy is completely crazy. And gay.

  By anonymous, on March 10, 2008 11:20:16

• I'll bet that stories like this make Katie Holmes feel very, very special - as in "short bus" special.

  By anonymous, on March 10, 2008 11:21:56

• So what happens in a couple years when he takes a time-out from jello-wrestling gay porn stars and making ass-sucking movies that bomb and realises that the Holmesbot is getting a little high mileage? More auditions for Bridebot 2.0? Dakota Fanning, you have been warned!

  By Lohantastic, on March 10, 2008 11:31:43

• I don't get why Katie Holmes sold herself to this fruitcake. She had a good career and could have made that much money on her own. Now she's looked at as a P.O.W. of Mr. Couchjumper. Her career is over. Why would anyone want their first wedding to be fake? And what's she doing for sex these days? Did a solid gold vibrator come with her fake marriage?

  By L.A. is a weird place, on March 10, 2008 11:59:01

• he is meant to be a politican - his image is completely fabricated. i think he's in the closet like john travolta and wants to model his public image like travoltas so people will never suspect he's gay. LIAR!!

  By virgo, on March 10, 2008 12:30:12

• I don't get why Scarlet Johannson wasn't the first pick but at this point who really fucking cares? he pretty much kissed his career and good image goodbye with all that scientology shit and he'll never play a convincing hero in anyone's eyes, ever. From now on, he should base his career on scientology videos.

  By anonymous, on March 10, 2008 12:45:26

• Ummm actually my first choice was Leo. He's such a stud, and I LOVE the way he lets his blonde hair fall in a perfect frame around his face. When I put product in my hair it never does that.

  By Tom Cruise, on March 10, 2008 13:56:55

• I can't believe you just invoked my name.
  
  You are so dead.

  By Leo DiCaprio, on March 10, 2008 14:18:39

• Creepy motherfucker. Imagine if it had been his primo choice--A MAN.

  By Nicole, on March 10, 2008 14:54:26

• Jennifer Garner was his first choice because she looks like a dude. Says something about Ben Assfleck.
  
  By the way, in "Audition" she cut off his foot of with piano wire.

  By Fred, on March 10, 2008 15:18:35

• Actually I think ol' Tom is a switch-hitter. You know- flip a coin: (a) Tails= hair pie (b) Heads= balls across the nose.

  By caved1ver, on March 10, 2008 16:21:57

• Thanks a lot, Fred. I spent four hours setting that razor wire snare, now you tell me it's piano wire?
  
  I need someone to spring that trap.
  
  "Hey...is this Paris? Nikki? Sorry, you guys sound so much alike..."

  By Vigilante, on March 10, 2008 16:31:29

• It was a recruitment drive. Scientology the cult spreads like a virus because they teach that it is the obligation of every scientologist zombie to spread their sickness.

  By Donkey Punch, on March 10, 2008 21:46:42

• If this is true, I feel bad for Katie sho always seemed to be sweet and had simple taste. I hate his grin btw.

  By anonymous, on March 10, 2008 23:10:07

• His head exploding is such a visual, wonder how Oprah would have handled cleaning up gray matter from the studio?
  
  Classic

  By doesn'tmatter, on March 11, 2008 05:37:33

• "...he'll never play a convincing hero in anyone's eyes, ever."
  By anonymous, on March 10, 2008 12:45:26
  
  You're right. But he could have a very promising career as a hobbit (Homo Baggins??), or a citizen of Munchkinland, should they ever do a remake of The Wizard of Oz. Then there's always Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs, should Hollywood ever decide to do a "live" version...

  By anonymous, on March 11, 2008 08:54:03

• What exactly is Scientology's take on homosexuality?

  By Katie Holmes, on March 11, 2008 08:59:17

• Well thats 3 girls that got away from scientology.

  By anonymous, on March 11, 2008 17:05:17

• Eh???? If "being in your 20's" was a requirement, how did Sofia Milos get roped into that? The chick from CSI:Miami and Sopranos? She turned 41 this year! Maybe she looks young on TV and stuff, but ummmmmmmmmmmm.... 41 is a bit far off from 20. And all of her roles are sorta the same, leads me to believe she's simply acting the way she does in real life, which means she's a handful! Tom obviously digs the docile & submissive types like Kat.

  By anonymous, on March 15, 2008 21:52:50