32 Comments:

• How does Pete Wentz manage to escape daily beatings just for being Pete Wentz? Something is very wrong here.

  By coolpapa, on April 10, 2008 11:34:11

• He doesn't escape the beatings, that's why he wears makeup - to hide the bruises. BTW, it's Ashlee that give him the beatings.

  By anonymous, on April 10, 2008 11:44:07

• I'd rather shove icepicks into my ears than listen to an Ashlee Simpson record.

  By anonymous, on April 10, 2008 11:44:13

• Can't fault the girl for sticking her chin out to give the best possible launch for her album.

  By anonymous, on April 10, 2008 11:51:59

• You know, the deep, abiding love these two share is simply awe-inspiring. I mean, that there is the real deal. How I long for someone to come along who will consistently tilt his head slightly in my direction to indicate his raging passion for me. O, to be sat sort of next to without actually touching by a greasy, makeup-loving "rock star" who sends pictures of his weiner to male friends! Am I dreaming, thinking that I, too, could find such a soulmate?? I guess I'll go see if anybody responded to my eHarmony ad.

  By Mr. Sandman, bring me a homo, on April 10, 2008 12:03:59

• Let me understand. Mariah Carey's new album is called E=MC2? Is that supposed to be incalculably ironic, implying that Mariah Carey realizes how dumb she is, which would then suggest that she is, in point of fact, not dumb at all, but shrewd and clever and in possession of a snarky sense of humor?
  
  Nah.

  By My head hurts, on April 10, 2008 12:19:29

• What a small, small gay man. Landed yourself a real stallion there Ash...

  By anonymous, on April 10, 2008 12:28:19

• His face is eminently punchable.

  By Fred, on April 10, 2008 13:34:41

• what a coincidence that she gets engaged before her album is released

  By virgo, on April 10, 2008 13:51:09

• Leaking MC's exponentially better album to prevent losing sales of her garbage on a CD, isn't she precious. MC may have be the world's oldest 14 year old, but you can't deny that she's a phenomenal singer.

  By anonymous, on April 10, 2008 14:18:14

• Two dumb cunts and a douche-bag, may just be an understatement.

  By Cutest WALLET ever!!!!, on April 10, 2008 15:10:57

• you idiot, simpson is 5'6, that second big thick line above 5 indicates 5 and 1/2 feet, and wentz is obviously an inch or two taller than her. simple scale, jesus christ.

  By blahhh, on April 10, 2008 15:50:53

• Surprise! Another Simpson slut needs a reality check. Actually, with 78% gay boyfriend, make that TWO reality checks.

  By anonymous, on April 10, 2008 16:30:14

• Mutant sharks rock. Especially mutant sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads.
  
  It'd be like:
  
  "Sharks Alive! Starring Mariah Carey as the Great White With A Frickin' Laser Beam Attached To Her Head and Asslee Simpson as the Dwarf Dogshark!"
  
  Sweet.
  

  By Vigilante, on April 10, 2008 16:35:51

• First, blahhh, shut the hell up. You're stupid and you suck.
  
  Second, Mariah (who puts to test my rule that I'd never fuck a girl who weighs more than me) is going to eat that bitch and Sméagol for breakfast.

  By thebig28, on April 10, 2008 16:38:44

• That's her brilliant plan? Keep dreaming.

  By anonymous, on April 10, 2008 19:05:12

• While I think the whole Mariah Carey "Rainbows, Butterflies & Unicorns" baby-doll image thing is really tired, I also think that she could sing the phone book & make it sound great. She's got range, power & tonality in her voice that almost no one else possesses. She's a phenomenal talent.
  
  Asshole simpson, on the other hand, has no right to be on a stage, much less releasing an album. I can't stand her stupid dorky horseface. Her "fans" are seriously deluded kiddies, and don't have any idea how talented other singers are when compared to this "creation" of her daddy, Joe. She can't sing her way out of a paperbag. Her trying to go head to head with Mariah with recordings is like Bambi going head to head with Godzilla. Maybe asshole can try synching (oops, sorry, meant "singing") on SNL again, and can do her dumbass "doofus dance" when the track skips & she stupidly dorks onstage while her band plays on...

  By anonymous, on April 10, 2008 20:15:02

• That really is a cute wallet, you have to admit.
  
  In fact, I'll wager Pete Wentz has one. Giant-sized, so he can use the tail for various not-heterosexual endeavors. I wonder if it comes in black?
  
  So does this mean Ashlee Simpson is a rugmuncher? How does that beard thing work? And isn't Katie Holmes SO the Kelly Preston of now? Third-tier actress with iffy career, cute but not beautiful, same amount of younger or thereabouts, married a homo Co$ retard out of the blue. Except Kelly looks better now instead of worse. (Boob job helped.) Katie's only been with that creepy midget for what, three years? And she looks like she might jump off a bridge any minute. Kelly obviously found a way to get this thing to work for her. She and Katie should talk. Maybe they can be rugmunchers together!
  
  

  By Aunt Agonist, on April 10, 2008 20:27:14

• If Ashlee Simpson were to stand on a street corner and GIVE AWAY copies of Mariah's new album, she still couldn't hold a candle to her. As far as her engagement to Pete Wentz is concerned, I don't think gay marriage is allowed in California just yet.

  By anonymous, on April 10, 2008 20:30:15

• With heels on, she's about 5'6"

  By anonymous, on April 10, 2008 21:30:34

• You know she and Pete Douche are gonna break up in a month, after the buzz has died down and her album has sunk off the charts. He'll console himself in the arms of Tom Cruise, and Asslee will get more plastic surgery. Ah, young love.

  By anonymous, on April 10, 2008 21:40:42

• She's a cunt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

  By anonymous, on April 11, 2008 04:11:37

• She should just show her "Britney" instead!!

  By Yep, on April 11, 2008 08:42:17

• Ashlee has absolutely 0 talent, only a mentally challenged person would buy her album.

  By celebrityblaster, on April 11, 2008 10:24:31

• They're ENGAGED?!?!?! Why do they look as though they barely know each other?? Why do they look like their marriage was "arranged" at birth by their Serbo-Bulgarian parents?? How many chickens, sacks of grain and kreplechs does the groom's unibrowed, bewarted father want for this deal? Oh, wait, that's the mother. The father must be that guy over there having his ears removed.
  
  I hope for poor, gay little Pete Wentz's sake they're still using the sheet-running-longitudinally-across-the-marital-bed-with-a-discreet-hole-in-it system. Pete, that little hole can be anyone you want it to be, sweetheart.

  By Eyeliner Sales Exec, on April 11, 2008 11:30:42

• Ashlee is being accused of masterminding the leaks. She broke into what must surely be a secure studio, located the appropriate song files and was able to figure out how to leak them in such a way as to hide her identity (at least for some time)? Even if the last part didn't work out, I have my doubts about the rest of that scenario.

  By anonymous, on April 12, 2008 07:05:12

• Ashlee is monumentally mediocre, both in looks (post-surgery, mind) and talent.
  
  I'm sorry to be hard on you, America, but you need to lift your standards and stop pandering to two-minute media fads. If your daughter wants to listen to Ashlee's excrutiating warble, don't dismiss it as a harmless fad that she will have forgotten about in three weeks. Beat her with a folded extension cord instead. You will be doing the future of artistic integrity a giant favour.

  By anonymous, on April 12, 2008 11:41:26

• She'd be much better off doing porn.

  By anonymous, on April 12, 2008 20:35:52

• alot of commentors are taking up for mariahs 'singing ability' ok, you gotta be kidding me. So she can sing in octaves only dogs can hear, so what if the lyrics, beats, and performer are lame, vain, and egotistical assholes!

  By ladyguitarstar, on April 12, 2008 22:55:27

• Neither mariah or Ashlee make music worth listening too. Why is this even reported on?? BTW, Pete is 5'7" . I stood next to him and he is slightly taller than I am. I am 5'5".
  This gossip site is a crock of lies and basically a sh** hole.

  By anonymous, on May 3, 2008 13:02:05

• Mariah Carey may have a very capable voice to sing with, however some people find all of her vocal gyrations and screeches, as well as the overall tone to be annoying. I happen to be one of them. I have never liked one of her songs and I was basically the target audience when she came on the pop scene.
  She's also got this ego thing going on, as if she's some gorgeous chick to be worshipped. She's very average and her attitude stinks to high heaven. I am only 3 years younger than her and I look way better. She needs to get off her high horse and really look in her mirror. And shut her screamer too.

  By anonymous, on May 3, 2008 13:09:54

• She should just show her "Britney" instead!!

  By Kizu, on May 22, 2008 09:07:55