Amen to your commentary, Todd! I can't - for the life of me - figure out why Hollyweird has such a problem using birth control. This is 2008, after all. And no 17 year old, no matter how mature, has any business having a child.
The stupid bitch should have aborted. What a dumb little girl. I'm sure grandma Lynn and nannies will be raising that kid for Jamie Lynn. It's like Jamie Lynn is giving birth to her own sibling.
You're supposed to show them that video BEFORE they start having sex. That way, you can blab about the "beauty of natural childbirth" instead of saying "make the pig wear a rubber, you fucking slut" and it has the same effect.
Umm... They don't "knock you out" when you have a C-Section. They have to keep you somewhat awake. Sorry to rain on her parade. You still feel cold and shake b/c your body goes through a level of shock.
10:38 beat me to it. You're wide awake during c-sections. You're just given a spinal epidural so you can't feel or move the lower half of your body. They don't "knock you out" and you wake up later with a brand new baby. It's not like getting a boob job.
That's why they call it labor, Jamie. You have to go through the getting fat and all the pain and it's supposed to be hard, because motherhood is hard work. But you'll never know that because you'll have maids and nannies do all that hard work for you.
"Now instead of putting puffy unicorn stickers on her IPod or cutting out pictures of The Jonas Brothers this summer, she'll be in screaming, agonizing pain in a few months."
Potentially, the best line I've ever heard. Thank you.
you'll have maids and nannies do all that hard work for you.
Don't count on it, anon. Her "career" was four seasons on a cable show. Not enough episodes to go into syndication, and the show wasn't popular enough for her to be making crazy money. If she didn't save tons of money and invest intelligently (HAH!) then she'll be working at Stuckey's before long...
Not only should they not let this hoodrat have a c-section to get out of natural..they should just sew that thing up a few centimeters just to make it more of a challenge and make a bunch of high school 15 year olds from Health class observe so maybe these little whores keep their legs together. Fuckin whiny ass cry baby! This baby sure will have the life..the baby is teething..."oh mama, can't you just stick it in a closet somewhere so I don't have to hear all that crying...I can't get my beauty sleep.."
Jamie Lynn, one day your kid is going to be a little know-it-all 16 year old teenager just like you! You think childbirth is hard? HA! You don't have any idea what's in store for you.
Umm, I was knocked completely out for my C-section--but it was not planned. The stupid spinal block only numbed the left half of my body. As soon as that scalpel got to midline, I nearly jumped off the table. They promptly kicked my husband out of the room and put me under general anesthesia to complete the C-section. My husband still has nightmares about it. So, I guess Jamie Lynn could actually schedule such an experience, but I can't really recommend it.
anon 11:13: Your surgeon and your anesthesiologist were idiots then and shouldn't be practicing medicine. They're supposed to do a "stick test" in all areas where they're operating BEFORE they make the incision. They lightly tap the areas with the scalpel to make sure you're numb. They obviously didn't do that for you. You should sue them.
Should have taken some lessons from her sister and learned how to swallow instead. This kid like the rest of her family, are just a bunch of overpaid, redneck, white trash morons, with no common sense to speak of. Maybe Disney can do a special on her birth and show all of her fans just how great it was.
What is with all of these dumb cunts that think a C-Section is the "easy" way out? As someone who has had one before, trust me: it's NO walk in the park. You won't even be able to walk the first couple of days because your entire abdominal area is going to feel like Freddy Kruger has given you a deep-tissue massage. Oh, and did I mention gas pain so horrible that something as simple as lifting a finger was going to make you writhe in pain???? And as a previous comment stated, you're going to be shaking more than Britney Spears during a drug test because of the medication they have to administer before the surgery. I've had both natural childbirth and a section, and I'd rather go through the 23 hours of labor and 45 minutes of pushing I endured with my first child than to go through what I did with my twins. A Caesarean should only be done when it is MEDICALLY NECESSARY, not because you're a pussy who doesn't want to get a cramp. Just put this bitch out of her misery after the kid gets here.
11:30 is very right. I have 2 kids and tried both times to have vaginal births, but couldn't and both of them were emergency c-sections. C-sections are no fun, and that gas pain is SOOOOO painful afterward, your entire body hurts. When you're healing from the operation, anything you do that requires using any abdominal muscles is excruciating even with good pain pills. Don't get c-sections if you don't NEED them people. They should be for emergency use only.
Morphine didn't do shit but make me hallucinate. I was still in excruciating pain, but I will say that once Tinkerbell and her fairy friends showed up it was all good.
You're so right. They were morons. They DID do a stick test and I told him I felt him poking everywhere he touched on my right side. He insisted I was feeling "pressure" and wink-wink'd the damn anesthetist to put some happy juice in my i.v. So, 10 seconds later I'm coo'ing about "hearing the ocean" (whatever they put in that i.v. was good stuff) and the next second I'm screaming and he's realizing I certainly can tell the difference between pressure and pain. And after my baby spent 10 days in the NICU and I spent 7 days in the hospital with a post-op infection, you're right again, we should have sued. Ahh, well, it did turn out great in the end. He's a healthy preschooler now and I have an awful labor and delivery story to share.
Too late for an abortion. If she cared about the kid she'd give it up for adoption instead of letting it suffer in that mentally retarded Louisiana swamps white trash family.
A miracle from God is when a butterfly lands on a retarded kid's arm or when the cops don't find the hooker you buried, not when a drunk hillbilly forgets to pull out.
They knocked me out for a C-Section. I'd like to say it was for some really cool medical reason, but they did it because I flipped out and threatened to kill everyone in a five foot radius. Apparently I said to the OB...
"YOU TOUCH ME WITH THAT SCALPEL AND I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR FUCKING ARM OUT OF IT'S SOCKET!!!"
Yeah. I don't remember much about the whole thing except for waking up in recovery and thinking I was about to board an airplane. And none of the nurses would tell me what happened to my carry-on. Bitches.
I think Jamie-Lynn should have her brat live on the Dr. Phil show. Fuck, the kid's going to be pimped out three ways from Sunday anyways, might as well give it a headstart.
A miracle from God is when a butterfly lands on a retarded kid's arm or when the cops don't find the hooker you buried, not when a drunk hillbilly forgets to pull out. Todd is a comic GENIUS!! lol
"A miracle from God is when a butterfly lands on a retarded kid's arm or when the cops don't find the hooker you buried, not when a drunk hillbilly forgets to pull out" OMFG that is the most hilarious shit I think I've ever read in my life. Todd you are the friggin' God of Deadpan.
My sister in law had a baby a year ago and for her the labor pains weren't that bad. Really, the giving birth part is easy compared to the whole raising a child part. I hope she has no fucking money so she has to wake up 6 times a night to feed the baby and change it. Yeah, I'm sure sorry I wasn't popular and slept around in highschool. It sucks having no baby and freedom now.
We should seriously think about bringing back chastity belts, but strap them on young stupid boys this time. There are too many stupid young kids having kids and dropping out of school now. Too many idiots living on welfare because of it too.
She thinks she's fucking scared?? I bet that baby is shittin a brick knowing what family it's about to be shat into.. This may be the first ever fetus to try and run away from a uterus.
Just because you CAN have kids doesn't mean you SHOULD. Just because you're fertile doesn't mean you're ready to be a mother. Being fertile and being a good parent are two completely different things.
Since Jamie has the mentality of a five year old her pregnancy and her comments about childbirth don't surprise me. The sad part is the kid doesn't have a chance for a normal life being raised by these idiots. As someone else said she should put it up for adoption.
AHAHAHAHAH OMG 11:30:31 you should write for thisblog that was even funnier than the post and i laughed for like 5 mins none stop when i read that post "You won't even be able to walk the first couple of days because your entire abdominal area is going to feel like Freddy Kruger has given you a deep-tissue massage." " you're going to be shaking more than Britney Spears during a drug test" AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Naw, I'm sure things would have been fine had my brat not decided to be different and try to come out sideways. I was big on the whole natural birth thing. Hence my general pissiness when they told me they might have to do a section.
And when they were SURE they were going to have to do a section I could be heard screaming two floors away. From what I hear I wasn't very polite.
But to answer your question, yes. Canadian medical care does generally suck balls. If it weren't for all the hot doctors I'm sure I'd get my shit fixed elsewhere.
Canada hides under the wings of the U.S. military, so don't get stupid with a Canada vs. U.S. argument. Canada is lucky to be where it is and lucky it isn't another Islam colony, yet. They should show a little gratitude by not letting any more potential terrorists through the US/Canada border, but that's another topic. They're still nice people who should stay nice and STFU when they try to insult the U.S.
"This just in...Jamie-Lynn Spears has been cited as the trigger in cross-border tensions that led to the annihilation of Canada..."
16:21, that's the funniest damned thing I've read all night. I had no idea we inspired such ire. Well, other than the whole "Blame Canada" bit.
Is it Celine Dion? It's Celine, isn't it? She pisses you off? Yeah. She pisses us off too. Maybe we can get together and do something aboot it. You bring the waffles, I'll bring the maple syrup.
Canadian health care, ROFL. That's when you either get on a waiting list for a year or you come to the US and pay cash.
C-sections are always the way to go. It preserves tightness. Gas and abdominal pain beats having to dig up John Holmes to find a unit that still can touch all the sides.
"Now instead of putting puffy unicorn stickers on her IPod or cutting out pictures of The Jonas Brothers this summer, she'll be in screaming, agonizing pain in a few months."
Please, PLEASE tell me that they plan to film this! I'd pay to watch such a video!
"As someone who has had one before, trust me: it's NO walk in the park. You won't even be able to walk the first couple of days because your entire abdominal area is going to feel like Freddy Kruger has given you a deep-tissue massage. Oh, and did I mention gas pain so horrible that something as simple as lifting a finger was going to make you writhe in pain???? And as a previous comment stated, you're going to be shaking more than Britney Spears during a drug test because of the medication they have to administer before the surgery. I've had both natural childbirth and a section, and I'd rather go through the 23 hours of labor and 45 minutes of pushing I endured with my first child than to go through what I did with my twins."
Call me a cruel person, but you just made my day with the knowledge that no matter how this baby is born, Jamie Lynn is going to suffer. :)
I was just as scared having my 4th child in my 30's as my first at 20. That's normal. How many of you were born to young mothers? What are the circumstances of your conception? Hmmmmmm? Thought that might shut some of you up!
What a dummy. Did she not think that the baby actually has to be born, or that she'd have a c-section no matter what? My Mum thought she was going to die when she had the after effects of a c-section, even if it was 21 years ago.
"This just in...Jamie-Lynn Spears has been cited as the trigger in cross-border tensions that led to the annihilation of Canada..." VERY funny - thanks for the laugh, Vigilante.
16:21--How could anyone hate on the country that gave us John Candy? And Pavel Bure? Oh, wait, that was Russia. But I can still say: Thank you Canucks (circa 1994 or so), for without you, I'd have never fallen in love with hockey. . . That cherry-pickin', hockey-haired hottie was awesome back in the day. So he aged horribly and was never the same after the first knee blow-out. Still, Hail Canada!
"How could anyone hate on the country that gave us John Candy?"
Not sure, but I hate whoever coined the term "hate on". The next time some insecure Canadian posts a statistic showing Americans as less educated, guess what: he's right.
She will be knocked out during childbirth......and for the next eighteen years. She will follow in big sis's footsteps and live out the next twenty years in a drug induced haze. She doesn't know how babies are made? or how they come out?.........please stop them from reproducing.
I had two un-medicated labors and deliveries. There was some pain (although with preparation, not nearly as much as people would have you believe), but mostly it was a lot of really, really hard work.
Why anyone would actually CHOOSE to be sliced open to have their baby removed is beyond me.
I think it's hilarious that this idiotic young girl was a leg spread slut with her boyfriend (or manager; the jury's out with that one), was stupid enough to become pregnant and only now realizes what's involved in childbirth. What a dumbass...
Lynn spears i'd like for you to meet Billy Ray Cyrus...appears you two have a great deal in common.White,trash,pimps,attention starved kids,future home video stars,please..mingle.Have a drink while i call Dina Lohan...
81 Comments:
Leave Your CommentI hate the Spears family so much.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 10:31:15
my, oh, my, i needed a good chuckle this morning!!
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 10:31:40
Amen to your commentary, Todd! I can't - for the life of me - figure out why Hollyweird has such a problem using birth control. This is 2008, after all. And no 17 year old, no matter how mature, has any business having a child.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 10:32:54
It doesn't matter how old you are...labor hurts.
Old enough to bleed, old enough to breed.
By BV, on April 24, 2008 10:34:12
The stupid bitch should have aborted. What a dumb little girl. I'm sure grandma Lynn and nannies will be raising that kid for Jamie Lynn. It's like Jamie Lynn is giving birth to her own sibling.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 10:34:16
Babies are not accessories. Welcome to real life Jamie Lynn.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 10:36:03
You're supposed to show them that video BEFORE they start having sex. That way, you can blab about the "beauty of natural childbirth" instead of saying "make the pig wear a rubber, you fucking slut" and it has the same effect.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 10:36:40
Umm... They don't "knock you out" when you have a C-Section. They have to keep you somewhat awake. Sorry to rain on her parade. You still feel cold and shake b/c your body goes through a level of shock.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 10:38:19
10:38 beat me to it. You're wide awake during c-sections. You're just given a spinal epidural so you can't feel or move the lower half of your body. They don't "knock you out" and you wake up later with a brand new baby. It's not like getting a boob job.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 10:41:47
You hit the nail on the head. Seems like when brains were passed out, neither of the Spears girls were there to get theirs.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 10:44:36
That's why they call it labor, Jamie. You have to go through the getting fat and all the pain and it's supposed to be hard, because motherhood is hard work. But you'll never know that because you'll have maids and nannies do all that hard work for you.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 10:45:25
"Now instead of putting puffy unicorn stickers on her IPod or cutting out pictures of The Jonas Brothers this summer, she'll be in screaming, agonizing pain in a few months."
Potentially, the best line I've ever heard. Thank you.
By amak15, on April 24, 2008 10:57:11
anonymous 10:45:25
you'll have maids and nannies do all that hard work for you.
Don't count on it, anon. Her "career" was four seasons on a cable show. Not enough episodes to go into syndication, and the show wasn't popular enough for her to be making crazy money. If she didn't save tons of money and invest intelligently (HAH!) then she'll be working at Stuckey's before long...
By Anomalous, on April 24, 2008 10:59:14
Not only should they not let this hoodrat have a c-section to get out of natural..they should just sew that thing up a few centimeters just to make it more of a challenge and make a bunch of high school 15 year olds from Health class observe so maybe these little whores keep their legs together.
Fuckin whiny ass cry baby! This baby sure will have the life..the baby is teething..."oh mama, can't you just stick it in a closet somewhere so I don't have to hear all that crying...I can't get my beauty sleep.."
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 11:02:39
If she's scared of the childbirth part..just wait, the next 18 years are a complete horrorfest!
By Lisa, on April 24, 2008 11:03:35
I sure hope Star's story is accurate. Cuz it's fucking hilarious. Nice commentary by Todd, too.
By catman, on April 24, 2008 11:06:19
"A miracle from God is when a butterfly lands on a retarded kid's arm"
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
By Marianne, on April 24, 2008 11:06:25
Jamie Lynn, one day your kid is going to be a little know-it-all 16 year old teenager just like you! You think childbirth is hard? HA! You don't have any idea what's in store for you.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 11:06:46
Ha!!! Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!
Join the real world! YES it hurts! It hurts like hell.
(How funny that no one really GETS this - except for moms)
By BustyRaquel, on April 24, 2008 11:07:40
Umm, I was knocked completely out for my C-section--but it was not planned. The stupid spinal block only numbed the left half of my body. As soon as that scalpel got to midline, I nearly jumped off the table. They promptly kicked my husband out of the room and put me under general anesthesia to complete the C-section. My husband still has nightmares about it. So, I guess Jamie Lynn could actually schedule such an experience, but I can't really recommend it.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 11:13:23
anon 11:13: Your surgeon and your anesthesiologist were idiots then and shouldn't be practicing medicine. They're supposed to do a "stick test" in all areas where they're operating BEFORE they make the incision. They lightly tap the areas with the scalpel to make sure you're numb. They obviously didn't do that for you. You should sue them.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 11:18:45
Should have taken some lessons from her sister and learned how to swallow instead. This kid like the rest of her family, are just a bunch of overpaid, redneck, white trash morons, with no common sense to speak of. Maybe Disney can do a special on her birth and show all of her fans just how great it was.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 11:21:07
OMG...I laughed so hard at this post!!!! BRAVO! BRAVO!
By Laura, on April 24, 2008 11:22:50
If I wasn't in class right now I would be rofl, thank you for this I needed a good laugh today.
By I hate Hippies, on April 24, 2008 11:27:47
What is with all of these dumb cunts that think a C-Section is the "easy" way out? As someone who has had one before, trust me: it's NO walk in the park. You won't even be able to walk the first couple of days because your entire abdominal area is going to feel like Freddy Kruger has given you a deep-tissue massage. Oh, and did I mention gas pain so horrible that something as simple as lifting a finger was going to make you writhe in pain???? And as a previous comment stated, you're going to be shaking more than Britney Spears during a drug test because of the medication they have to administer before the surgery. I've had both natural childbirth and a section, and I'd rather go through the 23 hours of labor and 45 minutes of pushing I endured with my first child than to go through what I did with my twins. A Caesarean should only be done when it is MEDICALLY NECESSARY, not because you're a pussy who doesn't want to get a cramp. Just put this bitch out of her misery after the kid gets here.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 11:30:31
Her stomach is so flat!
By Kelly Clarkson fan club, on April 24, 2008 11:31:54
11:30 is very right. I have 2 kids and tried both times to have vaginal births, but couldn't and both of them were emergency c-sections. C-sections are no fun, and that gas pain is SOOOOO painful afterward, your entire body hurts. When you're healing from the operation, anything you do that requires using any abdominal muscles is excruciating even with good pain pills. Don't get c-sections if you don't NEED them people. They should be for emergency use only.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 11:39:35
Don't forget if you're sensitive to morphine your face blows up and is red and itchy and your eyes feel like someone poured sand in them.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 11:42:37
She should just pay Kelly Clarkson a shiny quarter to eat the fetus out of her. I believe the clinical term for this act is a "Clarksbortion".
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 11:51:31
I'm not gonna say it for baby ears, but I think she should get a schma-schmortion at the schma-schmortion clinic.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 12:00:01
Morphine didn't do shit but make me hallucinate. I was still in excruciating pain, but I will say that once Tinkerbell and her fairy friends showed up it was all good.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 12:04:45
That last paragraph was the best thing I've read all week. Thanks, Todd.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 12:05:30
11:18:45--
You're so right. They were morons. They DID do a stick test and I told him I felt him poking everywhere he touched on my right side. He insisted I was feeling "pressure" and wink-wink'd the damn anesthetist to put some happy juice in my i.v. So, 10 seconds later I'm coo'ing about "hearing the ocean" (whatever they put in that i.v. was good stuff) and the next second I'm screaming and he's realizing I certainly can tell the difference between pressure and pain. And after my baby spent 10 days in the NICU and I spent 7 days in the hospital with a post-op infection, you're right again, we should have sued. Ahh, well, it did turn out great in the end. He's a healthy preschooler now and I have an awful labor and delivery story to share.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 12:13:04
Too late for an abortion. If she cared about the kid she'd give it up for adoption instead of letting it suffer in that mentally retarded Louisiana swamps white trash family.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 12:33:13
This is why I don't want daughters.
oh, and Lynn Spears is a shitty mother.
By Prettyboy, on April 24, 2008 12:48:21
Did y'all realize -- this is the first thread in history of blogging where EVERYONE agrees???
Now, that's a miracle!
P.S. I concur with everything said, too!
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 12:48:59
A miracle from God is when a butterfly lands on a retarded kid's arm or when the cops don't find the hooker you buried, not when a drunk hillbilly forgets to pull out.
Best line EVER.
By Smapdy, on April 24, 2008 12:49:37
"Too late for an abortion."
It's NEVER too late for an abortion.
By Scott Peterson, on April 24, 2008 13:14:08
Blood looks like the ketchup I pour all over my hot dogs. I will eat her abortion.
By Kelly Clarkson, on April 24, 2008 13:22:12
They knocked me out for a C-Section. I'd like to say it was for some really cool medical reason, but they did it because I flipped out and threatened to kill everyone in a five foot radius. Apparently I said to the OB...
"YOU TOUCH ME WITH THAT SCALPEL AND I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR FUCKING ARM OUT OF IT'S SOCKET!!!"
Yeah. I don't remember much about the whole thing except for waking up in recovery and thinking I was about to board an airplane. And none of the nurses would tell me what happened to my carry-on. Bitches.
I think Jamie-Lynn should have her brat live on the Dr. Phil show. Fuck, the kid's going to be pimped out three ways from Sunday anyways, might as well give it a headstart.
By Vigilante, on April 24, 2008 13:39:27
A miracle from God is when a butterfly lands on a retarded kid's arm or when the cops don't find the hooker you buried, not when a drunk hillbilly forgets to pull out. Todd is a comic GENIUS!! lol
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 13:59:54
"A miracle from God is when a butterfly lands on a retarded kid's arm or when the cops don't find the hooker you buried, not when a drunk hillbilly forgets to pull out" OMFG that is the most hilarious shit I think I've ever read in my life. Todd you are the friggin' God of Deadpan.
Vigilante: too funny. And agreed.
By califlame, on April 24, 2008 14:05:43
My sister in law had a baby a year ago and for her the labor pains weren't that bad. Really, the giving birth part is easy compared to the whole raising a child part. I hope she has no fucking money so she has to wake up 6 times a night to feed the baby and change it. Yeah, I'm sure sorry I wasn't popular and slept around in highschool. It sucks having no baby and freedom now.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 14:08:57
Lol Vigilante.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 14:12:19
We should seriously think about bringing back chastity belts, but strap them on young stupid boys this time. There are too many stupid young kids having kids and dropping out of school now. Too many idiots living on welfare because of it too.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 14:15:46
She thinks she's fucking scared??
I bet that baby is shittin a brick knowing what family it's about to be shat into..
This may be the first ever fetus to try and run away from a uterus.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 14:21:19
giving birth is not pretty, thats for sure. Bleh.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 14:23:07
Just because you CAN have kids doesn't mean you SHOULD. Just because you're fertile doesn't mean you're ready to be a mother. Being fertile and being a good parent are two completely different things.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 14:24:22
Since Jamie has the mentality of a five year old her pregnancy and her comments about childbirth don't surprise me. The sad part is the kid doesn't have a chance for a normal life being raised by these idiots. As someone else said she should put it up for adoption.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 15:08:58
AHAHAHAHAH OMG 11:30:31 you should write for thisblog that was even funnier than the post and i laughed for like 5 mins none stop when i read that post
"You won't even be able to walk the first couple of days because your entire abdominal area is going to feel like Freddy Kruger has given you a deep-tissue massage."
" you're going to be shaking more than Britney Spears during a drug test"
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
By anon, on April 24, 2008 15:13:07
@ "Vigilante" --- Did you have the same doctors the other woman did on this thread? Canadian medical care isn't so great is it, eh?
By proud to be not a canook, on April 24, 2008 15:34:42
Uh, 11:30:31 wasn't that funny. Maybe you were being sarcastic? Maybe you are high? I hope so.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 15:42:24
Naw, I'm sure things would have been fine had my brat not decided to be different and try to come out sideways. I was big on the whole natural birth thing. Hence my general pissiness when they told me they might have to do a section.
And when they were SURE they were going to have to do a section I could be heard screaming two floors away. From what I hear I wasn't very polite.
But to answer your question, yes. Canadian medical care does generally suck balls. If it weren't for all the hot doctors I'm sure I'd get my shit fixed elsewhere.
By Vigilante, on April 24, 2008 15:47:05
I'm guessing "proud to be not a canook" isn't one of the more than 40 million Yankees without medical insurance.
I'm so proud not to be a Yankee.
By catman, on April 24, 2008 16:15:39
Canada hides under the wings of the U.S. military, so don't get stupid with a Canada vs. U.S. argument. Canada is lucky to be where it is and lucky it isn't another Islam colony, yet. They should show a little gratitude by not letting any more potential terrorists through the US/Canada border, but that's another topic. They're still nice people who should stay nice and STFU when they try to insult the U.S.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 16:21:56
The title of your post should have been "Jamie Lynn Spears is Scurred."
You're slipping, Todd.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 16:43:14
"This just in...Jamie-Lynn Spears has been cited as the trigger in cross-border tensions that led to the annihilation of Canada..."
16:21, that's the funniest damned thing I've read all night. I had no idea we inspired such ire. Well, other than the whole "Blame Canada" bit.
Is it Celine Dion? It's Celine, isn't it? She pisses you off? Yeah. She pisses us off too. Maybe we can get together and do something aboot it. You bring the waffles, I'll bring the maple syrup.
By Vigilante, on April 24, 2008 17:09:20
Canadian health care, ROFL. That's when you either get on a waiting list for a year or you come to the US and pay cash.
C-sections are always the way to go. It preserves tightness. Gas and abdominal pain beats having to dig up John Holmes to find a unit that still can touch all the sides.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 17:24:01
She's teh retardedness.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 17:44:46
Maybe she can record her labor screams and sell it. The CD would probably sell more copies than Britney's latest crap album.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 17:52:44
Hey anon 15:42; I don't think she was trying to be funny or if she was high. I think she was trying to tell what she went through. Get a grip.
By anonymous, on April 24, 2008 19:44:21
"Now instead of putting puffy unicorn stickers on her IPod or cutting out pictures of The Jonas Brothers this summer, she'll be in screaming, agonizing pain in a few months."
Please, PLEASE tell me that they plan to film this! I'd pay to watch such a video!
"As someone who has had one before, trust me: it's NO walk in the park. You won't even be able to walk the first couple of days because your entire abdominal area is going to feel like Freddy Kruger has given you a deep-tissue massage. Oh, and did I mention gas pain so horrible that something as simple as lifting a finger was going to make you writhe in pain???? And as a previous comment stated, you're going to be shaking more than Britney Spears during a drug test because of the medication they have to administer before the surgery. I've had both natural childbirth and a section, and I'd rather go through the 23 hours of labor and 45 minutes of pushing I endured with my first child than to go through what I did with my twins."
Call me a cruel person, but you just made my day with the knowledge that no matter how this baby is born, Jamie Lynn is going to suffer. :)
By Rekrul, on April 24, 2008 20:59:55
I was just as scared having my 4th child in my 30's as my first at 20. That's normal. How many of you were born to young mothers? What are the circumstances of your conception? Hmmmmmm? Thought that might shut some of you up!
By anonymous, on April 25, 2008 00:37:48
What a dummy. Did she not think that the baby actually has to be born, or that she'd have a c-section no matter what?
My Mum thought she was going to die when she had the after effects of a c-section, even if it was 21 years ago.
By Nicola, on April 25, 2008 02:45:53
"This just in...Jamie-Lynn Spears has been cited as the trigger in cross-border tensions that led to the annihilation of Canada..." VERY funny - thanks for the laugh, Vigilante.
By nanster, on April 25, 2008 08:24:52
"A miracle from God is when a butterfly lands on a retarded kid's arm"
If a shirt was made with that statement printed on it followed by a lovely vector of said retard and butterfly, I would be the first to buy it.
By anonymous, on April 25, 2008 09:16:29
Lynn did the same to Brit - scared her into having a c section with the whole pain during pregnancy thing.
I bet Lynn believes her daughters' reputations will be saved by still having birth free snatches. I hate this stage mother.
By anonymous, on April 25, 2008 09:43:13
16:21--How could anyone hate on the country that gave us John Candy? And Pavel Bure? Oh, wait, that was Russia. But I can still say: Thank you Canucks (circa 1994 or so), for without you, I'd have never fallen in love with hockey. . . That cherry-pickin', hockey-haired hottie was awesome back in the day. So he aged horribly and was never the same after the first knee blow-out. Still, Hail Canada!
By anonymous, on April 25, 2008 10:10:46
Anon 00:37, I was planned and my parents were married when I was born. So there.
And to Anon 20:59, you're welcome.
By Anon April 24 11:30:31, on April 25, 2008 10:29:49
"How could anyone hate on the country that gave us John Candy?"
Not sure, but I hate whoever coined the term "hate on". The next time some insecure Canadian posts a statistic showing Americans as less educated, guess what: he's right.
By anonymous, on April 25, 2008 10:47:30
"Knocked out and wake up when it's all over"? Good Lord! Isn't that how she got pregnant in the first place??
By anonymous, on April 25, 2008 11:01:34
Vigilante, you're killing me today!!!
By anonymous, on April 25, 2008 11:21:10
"Vigilante, you're killing me today!!!"
Sorry. Roll down the window.
By Vigilante's Anus, on April 25, 2008 11:30:43
Damn beans, eh Anus?
ET TU, BURRITO? ET TU?
Thank you, nanster and 11:21, thank you. I'll be here all week.
By Vigilante, on April 25, 2008 12:46:17
She will be knocked out during childbirth......and for the next eighteen years. She will follow in big sis's footsteps and live out the next twenty years in a drug induced haze. She doesn't know how babies are made? or how they come out?.........please stop them from reproducing.
By anonymous, on April 25, 2008 22:02:57
Damn...All these comments are the most effective birth control.
By anonymous, on April 26, 2008 02:03:31
I had two un-medicated labors and deliveries. There was some pain (although with preparation, not nearly as much as people would have you believe), but mostly it was a lot of really, really hard work.
Why anyone would actually CHOOSE to be sliced open to have their baby removed is beyond me.
By jk, on April 26, 2008 13:49:44
They should have showed her that video the point she hit puberty not when she's gonna give birth.
They should outlaw inbreeding in the Spears family.
By Ivy, on April 27, 2008 14:55:35
I think it's hilarious that this idiotic young girl was a leg spread slut with her boyfriend (or manager; the jury's out with that one), was stupid enough to become pregnant and only now realizes what's involved in childbirth. What a dumbass...
By anonymous, on April 27, 2008 19:00:44
I'm willing to bet that when Jamie Lynn Spears is 27 years old, she will already be a grandmother.
By anonymous, on April 28, 2008 15:55:06
Lynn spears i'd like for you to meet Billy Ray Cyrus...appears you two have a great deal in common.White,trash,pimps,attention starved kids,future home video stars,please..mingle.Have a drink while i call Dina Lohan...
By JUANBIGONE, on May 4, 2008 16:27:25
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