Does anyone remember when she came out with a "lickable body spray" and Poor Nick lachey has to sit there with has as some press juncket and lick her arm? That guy is one lucky bastard that he got the hell away from this man-whore!
When I was a kid I made a pound cake, because, as usual, there was nothing to eat in our house. (Nothing good, that is.) I decided, in my 9-year-old wisdom, to jazz up the pound cake by adding food coloring. Specifically, blue food coloring. Mind, this was the same pound cake recipe I had followed countless times, jam-packed with sugar and butter, life's two most important elements. It smelled wonderful. We were all starving.
But nobody would eat it. There was nothing in the pantry but granola and sardines and stale peanut brittle, and yet not one of my 4 siblings would touch the blue pound cake.
""Euw! It looks like Play-Doh!"
"It doesn't taste like Play-Doh, you stupid retard!" I said. "It's just food coloring!"
I cut the pound cake, discarding the butt end (who eats that? No one), and took a huge slice and chomped into it.
It tasted like Play-Doh.
Later, the dog was discovered standing up on the kitchen table, polishing off the remainder of the blue pound cake, proving, for all time, that dogs are color-blind.
All of which is to underscore that there is good reason no blue food exists in nature; such a concept is inherently repulsive. And so are these two pus-wads. Covering themselves in bright blue frosting is akin to a pile of dog shit covering itself in leeches.
Looks like a Mother bird feeding her chick except in this case Tony would be the "Mother", but is Jessica a chick? I rectum it is not established. Weird stuff and unappealing to boot. Stay home and finish your Fruit Loops.
I considered adding the Blueberry Qualifier, but blueberries aren't really blue. In fact, they stain your teeth purple, not blue. Unless you're a dog, in which case they stain your teeth grey, or something.
I see your point. But blueberries are not blue. They are a glorious bluish-purplish color, not Cookie Monster blue. If I had had the wisdom to devise a bluish-purplish pound cake and told everyone there were mashed up blueberries in it, I'm positive there would not have been any Play-Doh remarks. And the dog would not have vomited bright blue bile all over my father's new bowling shoes. I'm still bitter over what that cost me.
I'm actually 11:16:15, but why should we quibble over 59 seconds? I just opened a blueberry yogurt to confirm your assertions, and indeed, it is purple, so I defer to your color theory. The bowling shoe addition to your story drove it home. You go girl.
Does anyone else notice how gigantic their pupils are in all these photos?? Anyone? Anyone? especially the one where they're both looking at the camera and she's licking her finger?
Lil Miss Sunshine.Awesome writing. I thought of a good joke: What goes blonde, brunette, blonde brunette, blonde brunette? Ans: Jessica Simpson doing bareass cartwheels Da Dum Dum.. I hate Jessica Simpson. SHe's that girl who although talentless, keeps getting attention because people think she's hot. I can't stand it. Ashlee had to resort to full facial surgery to reconstruct the actual homely one God had intended. Add a dash of the chicken is tuna bit, a pinch of the douche that is Pete Wentz,multiply by a clueless Tony ROmo and you've got yourself the four of the biggest douchebags out in the pop culture scene today
23 Comments:
Leave Your CommentDid a smurf spunk on her?
By Willa Dodge, on April 22, 2008 10:24:44
They look pretty well versed in passing shit from mouth to mouth. I bet they're totally into scat.
By anonymous, on April 22, 2008 10:30:09
Tony always carries around a blue can of "Semen Taste B-Gone!"
By anonymous, on April 22, 2008 10:30:24
Does anyone remember when she came out with a "lickable body spray" and Poor Nick lachey has to sit there with has as some press juncket and lick her arm? That guy is one lucky bastard that he got the hell away from this man-whore!
By anonymous, on April 22, 2008 10:41:13
A story:
When I was a kid I made a pound cake, because, as usual, there was nothing to eat in our house. (Nothing good, that is.) I decided, in my 9-year-old wisdom, to jazz up the pound cake by adding food coloring. Specifically, blue food coloring. Mind, this was the same pound cake recipe I had followed countless times, jam-packed with sugar and butter, life's two most important elements. It smelled wonderful. We were all starving.
But nobody would eat it. There was nothing in the pantry but granola and sardines and stale peanut brittle, and yet not one of my 4 siblings would touch the blue pound cake.
""Euw! It looks like Play-Doh!"
"It doesn't taste like Play-Doh, you stupid retard!" I said. "It's just food coloring!"
I cut the pound cake, discarding the butt end (who eats that? No one), and took a huge slice and chomped into it.
It tasted like Play-Doh.
Later, the dog was discovered standing up on the kitchen table, polishing off the remainder of the blue pound cake, proving, for all time, that dogs are color-blind.
All of which is to underscore that there is good reason no blue food exists in nature; such a concept is inherently repulsive. And so are these two pus-wads. Covering themselves in bright blue frosting is akin to a pile of dog shit covering itself in leeches.
Another love match.
By Little Miss Sunshine, on April 22, 2008 10:45:59
shove their tongues down each other mouths for food? why don't they just sit down at a table and eath with silverware like other adults?
By anonymous, on April 22, 2008 10:50:47
Dear Little Miss Sunshine,
I enjoyed your story. However, have you ever heard of a blueberry? Guess not.
Big Master Darkness
By anonymous, on April 22, 2008 11:16:15
Tony looks a tad bit uncomfy kissing a girl! Oh wait a minute that's right..nevermind..
By anonymous, on April 22, 2008 11:17:00
I predict that the Cowboys will have to bench Romo after 2 games if this whore doesn't leave SOON.
By anonymous, on April 22, 2008 11:20:07
Looks like a Mother bird feeding her chick except in this case Tony would be the "Mother", but is Jessica a chick? I rectum it is not established. Weird stuff and unappealing to boot. Stay home and finish your Fruit Loops.
By U. R. Phuct, on April 22, 2008 11:51:38
Wow. She may have finally found someone as dumb as her.
Tony Homo might be the "one". (double fingers crossed, wish upon a star!)
By Fred, on April 22, 2008 12:04:19
There's nothing sexy about this big nose tranny whore kissing anyone. This looks like a tranny fetish porn picture. Disgusting.
By anonymous, on April 22, 2008 12:07:45
Nasty...
what a bunch of attention whores
By anonymous, on April 22, 2008 12:08:45
Jessica Simpson could be dressed like Mary Poppins and twirling an umbrella and it would still somehow look like the prelude to a Z-grade porno.
By anonymous, on April 22, 2008 12:16:43
And the next day...they all pooped green.
Blue food coloring is a bitch.
By BV, on April 22, 2008 12:38:49
ewwww!! i just puked a little in my mouth!!
By anonymous, on April 22, 2008 12:59:07
11:15:16,
I considered adding the Blueberry Qualifier, but blueberries aren't really blue. In fact, they stain your teeth purple, not blue. Unless you're a dog, in which case they stain your teeth grey, or something.
I see your point. But blueberries are not blue. They are a glorious bluish-purplish color, not Cookie Monster blue. If I had had the wisdom to devise a bluish-purplish pound cake and told everyone there were mashed up blueberries in it, I'm positive there would not have been any Play-Doh remarks. And the dog would not have vomited bright blue bile all over my father's new bowling shoes. I'm still bitter over what that cost me.
By Little Miss Sunshine, on April 22, 2008 13:59:44
Ugh nasty ass tongue action. Isn't she some kind of retard? Isn't this illegal?
By BarbadoSlim, on April 22, 2008 15:02:11
Little Miss Sunshine,
I'm actually 11:16:15, but why should we quibble over 59 seconds? I just opened a blueberry yogurt to confirm your assertions, and indeed, it is purple, so I defer to your color theory. The bowling shoe addition to your story drove it home. You go girl.
Big Master Darkness
By anonymous, on April 22, 2008 15:48:21
Too bad it wasn't a can of rat poison they were eating.
By anonymous, on April 22, 2008 16:20:28
what the hell is she eating!?!?ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
By anonymous, on April 23, 2008 10:23:20
Does anyone else notice how gigantic their pupils are in all these photos?? Anyone? Anyone? especially the one where they're both looking at the camera and she's licking her finger?
By L Ho, on April 23, 2008 11:52:56
Lil Miss Sunshine.Awesome writing.
I thought of a good joke: What goes blonde, brunette, blonde brunette, blonde brunette?
Ans: Jessica Simpson doing bareass cartwheels
Da Dum Dum..
I hate Jessica Simpson. SHe's that girl who although talentless, keeps getting attention because people think she's hot. I can't stand it. Ashlee had to resort to full facial surgery to reconstruct the actual homely one God had intended. Add a dash of the chicken is tuna bit, a pinch of the douche that is Pete Wentz,multiply by a clueless Tony ROmo and you've got yourself the four of the biggest douchebags out in the pop culture scene today
By Trixie, on April 25, 2008 19:09:44
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