And how delusional do you have to be that you'd actually think your audience would enjoy hearing about much you fart? Not even your tits can save you now, Jess.
She'd be pretty good in porn. She's sturdy, she doesn't seem to learn or remember much, and it sure seems like dad broke her in early. She could start her own "D-Cups and Donkey Punches" series.
the harder she tries, the worse she gets. Somebody staple her Romo holster shut! Nice choice, Tony...Carrie, a true beauty who actually can sing, has a brain, and class...or this dumb semen dumpster.
Looks like she's the opening MC for the special olympics. The Beeotch better stay away from Homo-Romo during the season, cuz the Boy'z need him focused.
Ugly face, big bumpy nose, man's chin, short body, flat ass, fake blond hair. Dumb brainless head. The only thing she has is naturally big tits. That is not enough to make her hot.
A ugly country dress is not going to turn her into Dolly Parton. She would be an ok porn starlet. But shes an uninteresting lay I bet. Does she hell "fuck my pussy hard!" I bet not Does she suck her boyfriend off in a disco bathroom? Definetly no. Would she share her boyfriend with another woman for a kinky threesome? Nope My bet is that she just lays there, unimaginatively.
My bet is that she just lays there, unimaginatively.
By anonymous, on August 29, 2008 15:14:21
You must not have an imagination, then. She doesn't need to act like a thespian for me to enjoy her lusciousness. Should could sit perfectly still, I would still attack her like a plate of medium-rare BBQ ribeye with baked potato.
SHE IS TOTALLY DRUNK!!!!! I promise. She looks like my sweaty, ridiculously drunk sorority party pictures from college. She's making those faces because she was really thinking "Damn, I AM HOT shit" at that point.... I almost feel sorry for her but I'm pretty sure she deserves it.
You gotta love CHESTica. She's gotten by on her tits for the longest time; now she's got to show that she has some talent. Any talent. Anywhere. And, she's failing bigtime. Her movies suck schlongs, her "music" is laughable; did she actually think that country music fans would never see through her obvious ploy? AND, telling them that you fart a lot? What a braindead moron. Not to worry, though; she'll be in porn soon enough; there's nothing else left for her to make a living in...
What is wrong with her face in all those pictures? She looks like a monkey about to do some tricks. And what is up with that outfit can she stereotype country any more?
"Look I'm country I'm wearing plaid and cowboy boots, and wait till you see my pretty little cowboy hat too. Now will you buy my new album?"
I don't understand who would enjoy Jessica's products: music, wigs, whatever else she sells. I'm sure she hawking something. Or anything by Paris Hilton for that matter. She has music and hair pieces and perfume. I guess if it is good perfume people might buy some at an airport as a joke if they actually go to Paris, France. Otherwise, how are these people supporting themselves?
Betcha dollars to do-nuts that the wondrous Poppa Joe planned out the fabulous show and scintillating dialogue. He's just ruined her life, IMO ... and she's apparently just let him.
You're all crazy! I can't wait to buy her new record. Also, anyone know where I can get a copy of Garth Brooks', "in The Life of Chris Gaines"? I wore my copy out. Thanks, gotta go, Something's Burning.
Chestica. Ha ha. Methinks Daddy perv buys all the albums to boost the numbers. Hype all hype.
To be honest, all I could think of when she came out with this horrendous new wardrobe was: How many ways can I set those clothes on fire while she's wearing them?
My analysis of her "fart" rant is that she's saying, look, see, I'm just like you!! Because when your IQ is below 70, and you're richer than God, that's how you reason. That and the rumors of scat sex when she was in Europe with Mayer. Eeewww.
so who paid $70 per ticket?? the media? sold out room? if thats the case its our own damn fault.
if romo screws up again, those of us in dallas will revolt and stop paying attention to the the team.. jerry hear that?? no more pricey seats in your new stadium.
Just rename that title to "Jessica Simpson is a BORE Entertainer". She is a fuckin' tool that is making way too much money for such a lack of everything.
I wonder if Homo enjoys smelling her farts. He is as unintelligent as Jessica, nothing cooler than having a dumb twat for a girlfriend who will embarass you in front of the world every day of your life, and spill the most private and shameful things like farting habits.
@ so who paid $70 per ticket?? the media? sold out room? if thats the case its our own damn fault.
Little 13-14 yr old twats that went to the fair to spend the last of their summer days. I paid $20 to see Menudo when I was a kid. My parents wanted to ground me until I got some taste. It's because my friends and I were bored in our small TX town. They aren't true fans of hers, just bored waiting around to get impregnated.
I cannot stand this moron. She's a joke and I don't understand how she doesn't realize it.
54 Comments:
Leave Your CommentThat dress is so unflattering.
And how delusional do you have to be that you'd actually think your audience would enjoy hearing about much you fart? Not even your tits can save you now, Jess.
By anonymous, on August 29, 2008 11:27:00
She'd be pretty good in porn. She's sturdy, she doesn't seem to learn or remember much, and it sure seems like dad broke her in early. She could start her own "D-Cups and Donkey Punches" series.
By anonymous, on August 29, 2008 11:28:39
My God that 'woman' is ugly.
By anonymous, on August 29, 2008 11:30:10
Read the full review at the provided link. ;)
That bitch is beyond ridiculous.
By joejoe, on August 29, 2008 11:49:55
I'll give her 17 more minutes, then its over,, And 4 more minutes after that witn Romo, and he's O to the U to the T
By Moreaces, on August 29, 2008 11:54:26
Women farting or talking about their farts will never be cute no matter how big their tits are. WTF is Tony Romo doing with this dumb pig?
By anonymous, on August 29, 2008 11:56:16
the harder she tries, the worse she gets. Somebody staple her Romo holster shut! Nice choice, Tony...Carrie, a true beauty who actually can sing, has a brain, and class...or this dumb semen dumpster.
By Jeffro, on August 29, 2008 12:02:42
Romo is going to jinx his season again having this stupid broad attending games.
I would watch her do porn though. How about with Joe? Daddy's little girl?
No applause please. I'm a modest genius.
By Hot Rob, on August 29, 2008 12:04:50
Can't wait when she plays state fairs in flyover states.
By anonymous, on August 29, 2008 12:05:19
I'd say its time she give up music and just be a Playboy model, but after seeing those pictures of her . . .
However, I like where Anaon 11:28's head is.
By thebig28, on August 29, 2008 12:11:19
No one told me that they were brining Hee-Haw back!
By anonymous, on August 29, 2008 12:18:10
@ people would rather pay to see a monkey playing the cymbals than to go see her in concert.
*dead*
By NubianGoddez, on August 29, 2008 12:44:34
Looks like she's the opening MC for the special olympics. The Beeotch better stay away from Homo-Romo during the season, cuz the Boy'z need him focused.
By anonymous, on August 29, 2008 12:52:36
Monkeys playing cymbals could actually be entertaining. Especially if said monkeys are allowed to sling fecal matter about.
By TAP, on August 29, 2008 13:00:01
I would still bang the bejeesus out of her. Those tits are spectacular. And the rest ain't bad either.
By Fred, on August 29, 2008 13:01:47
WHY would anyone talk about how much they fart on stage? That is just plain weird. This girl is dumber than Britney, I didn't think that was possible.
By Airheads, on August 29, 2008 13:13:39
Thanks for stating the obvious, Fred. Nice face, nice tits, perfect amount of naivety -- she's hotter than hell! I'll prepare her bathwater any day.
By MsWinoPowdersHerNose, on August 29, 2008 13:24:10
Ugly face, big bumpy nose, man's chin, short body, flat ass, fake blond hair. Dumb brainless head. The only thing she has is naturally big tits. That is not enough to make her hot.
By anonymous, on August 29, 2008 13:27:44
She talks about farting and taking a shit all the time. She should marry Sarah Silverman.
By anonymous, on August 29, 2008 13:29:17
"She's sturdy, she doesn't seem to learn or remember much, and it sure seems like dad broke her in early"
11:28:39, you win! Funny stuff.
By anonymous, on August 29, 2008 13:56:54
She was at Casino Niagara? Shit, I didn't know that.
Looks like I missed a major opportunity there.
By Vigilante, on August 29, 2008 14:23:31
12:05:19: Canadians don't have state fairs where washed-up celebrities can perform. We have casinos, the lowest of the low.
Jessica performed at Niagara Fallsview Casino. The review from the Toronto Sun reported that she referred to herself as a dumbass:
http://www.torontosun.com/Entertainment/Music/2008/08/28/6595181-sun.html
By anonymous, on August 29, 2008 14:24:19
somebody's getting chunky...eating our feelings now, aren't we, Jess?
By anonymous, on August 29, 2008 14:31:20
That dress looks like it is maybe five times too big for her.
By Randi, on August 29, 2008 15:02:28
A ugly country dress is not going to turn her into Dolly Parton.
She would be an ok porn starlet. But shes an uninteresting lay I bet.
Does she hell "fuck my pussy hard!" I bet not
Does she suck her boyfriend off in a disco bathroom? Definetly no.
Would she share her boyfriend with another woman for a kinky threesome? Nope
My bet is that she just lays there, unimaginatively.
By anonymous, on August 29, 2008 15:14:21
I have never met a Jessica Simpson fan. Do they really exist? Even my brother's dipshit wife doesn't like her!
By anonymous, on August 29, 2008 16:02:09
My bet is that she just lays there, unimaginatively.
By anonymous, on August 29, 2008 15:14:21
You must not have an imagination, then. She doesn't need to act like a thespian for me to enjoy her lusciousness. Should could sit perfectly still, I would still attack her like a plate of medium-rare BBQ ribeye with baked potato.
By MsWinoPowdersHerNose, on August 29, 2008 16:19:31
SHE IS TOTALLY DRUNK!!!!! I promise. She looks like my sweaty, ridiculously drunk sorority party pictures from college. She's making those faces because she was really thinking "Damn, I AM HOT shit" at that point.... I almost feel sorry for her but I'm pretty sure she deserves it.
By anonymous, on August 29, 2008 18:13:48
wtf is wrong w/ her face? Looks like she's trying to make it looks pretty but it turns out so fugly.
By anonymous, on August 29, 2008 18:57:15
You gotta love CHESTica. She's gotten by on her tits for the longest time; now she's got to show that she has some talent. Any talent. Anywhere. And, she's failing bigtime. Her movies suck schlongs, her "music" is laughable; did she actually think that country music fans would never see through her obvious ploy? AND, telling them that you fart a lot? What a braindead moron. Not to worry, though; she'll be in porn soon enough; there's nothing else left for her to make a living in...
By anonymous, on August 29, 2008 19:52:28
What is wrong with her face in all those pictures? She looks like a monkey about to do some tricks. And what is up with that outfit can she stereotype country any more?
"Look I'm country I'm wearing plaid and cowboy boots, and wait till you see my pretty little cowboy hat too. Now will you buy my new album?"
By KiKi, on August 29, 2008 20:20:18
hey at least shes not as bad as her sister
although she does SUCK
By anonymous, on August 29, 2008 22:39:33
I bet she's the type that doesn't wash her hands after a big nasty dump. Oh god dumb chicks are gross.
By Whitetrash bimbos with no hygeine, on August 29, 2008 22:48:15
I have never met a Jessica Simpson fan. Do they really exist? Even my brother's dipshit wife doesn't like her!
By anonymous, on August 29, 2008 16:02:09
LOL, I would love to meet these mythical creatures that actually buy her records and pay to see her perform live.
By anonymous, on August 29, 2008 22:55:16
I don't understand who would enjoy Jessica's products: music, wigs, whatever else she sells. I'm sure she hawking something. Or anything by Paris Hilton for that matter. She has music and hair pieces and perfume. I guess if it is good perfume people might buy some at an airport as a joke if they actually go to Paris, France. Otherwise, how are these people supporting themselves?
By anonymous, on August 30, 2008 05:21:19
In plain words, she's an idiot who needs to stop talking in interviews and performing on stage and stick to making CD's. Hopefully they sell.
By anonymous, on August 30, 2008 06:00:02
Betcha dollars to do-nuts that the wondrous Poppa Joe planned out the fabulous show and scintillating dialogue. He's just ruined her life, IMO ... and she's apparently just let him.
By Poppa Joe's Magic Touch, on August 30, 2008 06:05:20
No, she's not nearly as bad as her sister, but worthless as an entertainer nonetheless. It must be nice being the head of a record label...
By Joe Mahma, on August 30, 2008 07:48:36
Oh how cute.. ugly face without the stink eye? They've been there.. done that girl.
By Killershoes, on August 30, 2008 10:52:56
FAIL!
By anonymous, on August 30, 2008 12:24:19
You're all crazy! I can't wait to buy her new record. Also, anyone know where I can get a copy of Garth Brooks', "in The Life of Chris Gaines"? I wore my copy out. Thanks, gotta go, Something's Burning.
By Whatever Happened to Kenny Rogers & The First Edition, on August 30, 2008 12:59:57
It's not nice to make fun of retarded people.
By anonymous, on August 30, 2008 16:38:40
Chestica. Ha ha. Methinks Daddy perv buys all the albums to boost the numbers. Hype all hype.
To be honest, all I could think of when she came out with this horrendous new wardrobe was: How many ways can I set those clothes on fire while she's wearing them?
My analysis of her "fart" rant is that she's saying, look, see, I'm just like you!! Because when your IQ is below 70, and you're richer than God, that's how you reason. That and the rumors of scat sex when she was in Europe with Mayer. Eeewww.
By Sami, on August 30, 2008 20:19:26
so who paid $70 per ticket??
the media?
sold out room? if thats the case its our own damn fault.
if romo screws up again, those of us in dallas will revolt and stop paying attention to the the team.. jerry hear that?? no more pricey seats in your new stadium.
By anonymous, on August 30, 2008 22:59:42
poor girl not one commentor defended her lol
I think she should just work in a normal field and leave the celeb life for good
By Barbie, on August 31, 2008 05:56:58
Just rename that title to "Jessica Simpson is a BORE Entertainer". She is a fuckin' tool that is making way too much money for such a lack of everything.
By allforadeuce, on August 31, 2008 07:07:42
Forget Romo anymore he ran fast this time. lol He's outta there & its over & done!
By anonymous, on August 31, 2008 10:40:03
Just plain fucking sad.
By camel toe, on August 31, 2008 21:22:58
Shes getting FAT don't ya think ????
By anonymous, on September 1, 2008 05:13:01
Nah, she's not getting fat...that dress is just awful on her.
By anonymous, on September 1, 2008 21:58:39
She's a stupid, jealous slut. I laugh at her while Tony calls me.
By Carrie Underwood, on September 1, 2008 22:15:47
I wonder if Homo enjoys smelling her farts. He is as unintelligent as Jessica, nothing cooler than having a dumb twat for a girlfriend who will embarass you in front of the world every day of your life, and spill the most private and shameful things like farting habits.
By anonymous, on September 2, 2008 07:58:03
@ so who paid $70 per ticket??
the media?
sold out room? if thats the case its our own damn fault.
Little 13-14 yr old twats that went to the fair to spend the last of their summer days. I paid $20 to see Menudo when I was a kid. My parents wanted to ground me until I got some taste. It's because my friends and I were bored in our small TX town. They aren't true fans of hers, just bored waiting around to get impregnated.
I cannot stand this moron. She's a joke and I don't understand how she doesn't realize it.
By anonymous, on September 2, 2008 11:01:07
I think Tony ran away from her fart and locked the door. Im seeing too many posts that they are so over.
By anonymous, on September 3, 2008 14:25:32
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