81 Comments:

1. Todd, seriously. You don't know me, but can I fuck you?

   By Amber, on April 29, 2009 06:24:09

2. no but you can have a cardboard cut out of todd

   By anonymous, on April 29, 2009 06:27:35

3. Chances she names this poor kid Brad? 1:1

   By anonymous, on April 29, 2009 06:27:51

4. One of your better rambles, Todd!

   By jtg, on April 29, 2009 06:45:35

5. Explain to me again why this dumb skank needs a nanny?
   Does she even work anymore?
   
   P.S. I would nail her.
   

   By anonymous, on April 29, 2009 06:46:15

6. todd, one of your best posts! the ramble is classic!

   By brackman, on April 29, 2009 06:50:43

7. by the way, there is a huge difference between you and dave. i'm sure he's a great dude but he needs to pick his game up...

   By brackman, on April 29, 2009 06:51:50

8. A shame the kid will be adopted. Her nipples have been in a constant state of readiness for sucking for decades now.

   By anonymous, on April 29, 2009 06:52:29

9. I'm with Amber on this one.

   By Kelly, on April 29, 2009 07:04:33

10. please, I'll believe when it happens. Until then, I call bullshit.

    By anonymous, on April 29, 2009 07:11:13

11. Todd, I've said it once and I'll say it again, you should write novels.

    By anonymous, on April 29, 2009 07:21:06

12. funny post!

    By anonymous, on April 29, 2009 07:25:30

13. AHAHAHAHA! God Todd, that was hilarious. The last bit with the teacher was gold. Can't see her wanting to adopt tho. It would be like her admitting she's a dried up old hag that no man wants, so she had to settle and just adopt.

    By ChooOnThis, on April 29, 2009 07:28:40

14. Todd is the funniest motherfucker alive. That is all.

    By anonymous, on April 29, 2009 07:32:59

15. Good for her for adopting a US kid instead.Not a fan of hers whatsoever, but good for her.

    By anonymous, on April 29, 2009 07:33:34

16. the anniston rant is so funny that the Doria Baird dophin reference gets kinda lost.

    By anonymous, on April 29, 2009 07:45:41

17. If her ass is needy, my tongue is so there...

    By anonymous, on April 29, 2009 07:51:40

18. Don't adopt Jenn just spread your sexy legs and let it happen

    By anonymous, on April 29, 2009 08:02:11

19. AMEN. ONE OF THE BEST POSTS INDEED. If IDLYITW had a "Best Of" section like at Craigslist, without a doubt, this would've been a top contender.

    By KK, on April 29, 2009 08:03:02

20. Todd, by your own mouth, you are going to have to commend her if she does adopt from the USA, however!

    By Anna, on April 29, 2009 08:19:54

21. It's not a sound idea to adopt a kid just because your friends have one or because you think it will change your life for the better. The child doesn't need to have a JOB as soon as you get him. However, I'll believe this story when I actually see her with the boy.

    By Jaye, on April 29, 2009 08:56:18

22. Awesome work Todd. But I have to say, I'm with no. 18.
    

    By thebig28, on April 29, 2009 09:01:59

23. This is too funny. Love it. Let's see how long the 'paperwork' takes; for mere mortals to adopt a white, healthy infant in the U.S. it takes months or years. What do you want to bet that if she can unglue herself from her own self-absorbedness (word?), it'll miraculously happen quick?!

    By memnoch, on April 29, 2009 09:24:22

24. Todd, The greatest post EVER!!!

    By anonymous, on April 29, 2009 09:42:06

25. Please quit kissing todds ass..you make me sick.You dumbbitchesfor allyou knowhe is a fat slob who reads porno all day or it could be a chick useing a guys name..losersssssss

    By toddsbookie, on April 29, 2009 09:49:48

26. Um, yeah, that is exactly how I envision any and every conversation she has the son she adopts. Poor kid, he would be better off poor in an orphanage than being raised by that mindfucked nut.

    By Willa Dodge, on April 29, 2009 09:56:57

27. LOL. Todd, that was some funny shit.
    Sounded exactly like something out of Loverboy.

    By anonymous, on April 29, 2009 10:02:55

28. Don't you, like, have to pass, like, some kind of brain mood test, like, or something, to, like, buy a real baby? Eew. Babies. They smell.

    By Paris Hilton, on April 29, 2009 10:03:20

29. I don't get this woman. She's cute, she's got a hot body, she's got millions & never has to work again, but she's a mound of insecurity & paranoia. WTF is wrong with her? Can't get a dude, when you're a hot piece of ass who has millions? Something definitely wrong there...

    By anonymous, on April 29, 2009 10:21:58

30. Hey, 25. Eat shit, jealous fuck.

    By anonymous, on April 29, 2009 10:26:36

31. Brad.

    By anonymous, on April 29, 2009 10:43:33

32. Hey#30 maybe you need some charmin to clean off that brown nose..har har har..looks like you already ate all the shit... har har har

    By somali pirate #4, on April 29, 2009 10:46:12

33. So fucking funny

    By anonymous, on April 29, 2009 11:17:38

34. I'm in line with Amber and Kelly...

    By Emily, on April 29, 2009 11:20:58

35. Halo Americans! We want good relations with you while we make nuclear bomb, so we be happy to help you nice people out!
    Send us your so-called celebrities so we can apply our good laws that allow us to stone people to death, chop off their arms and legs etc... Jenn and Brangelina? No problem !
    Put them, Madonna, Octo-Mommy, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and others on a plane to us and you will never have to read about them again ( wink, wink)!
    Are we an enlightened country or what?

    By "Mo" Ahmadienajad, Pistachio Pits, Iran, on April 29, 2009 11:37:41

36. OMG that was the funniest thing I've ever read!!! what makes it even funnier is that it's probably true!

    By anonymous, on April 29, 2009 13:04:48

37. Todd-you are a twisted fuck! That was genius! ;)

    By FemBot, on April 29, 2009 13:40:32

38. please stop all this mean coments...leave the poor woman alone..let her adopt the baby!!!!!!!!!!!

    By anonymous, on April 29, 2009 14:07:18

39. by far the most magical rambling EVER. :)

    By BSpearsBuff, on April 29, 2009 14:20:54

40. Of course the kid's American. I'm betting the "child" is three months away from his 18th birthday and resembles Brad Pitt. Jenn: "Come to mommy! Yes, it's normal to breastfeed at this age."

    By Humpinfrog, on April 29, 2009 14:23:24

41. WTF?? Ive been gone from this site a loooong time. 5 mean so long that I have to ask: "What happened to Jenny?"
    
    But staying on the topic. Todd, can you please continue the rant? It was fuckin funny and its a nice way to return to IDLYITW.

    By anonymous, on April 29, 2009 14:29:15

42. Yeah, watch the kid grow up and Angelina Jolie fucks him too.

    By cynical, on April 29, 2009 14:35:48

43. Hmmm... reading these womens' posts Todd seems to be the Adam Lambert of the celebrity blogging world. What am I, Anoop?

    By Perez H. Bad-Hair-Day, California, on April 29, 2009 14:41:03

44. Man, so like, me and Vince Vaughn can finally come out of hiding now?
    I am like, so relieved! Maybe I'll write a song !

    By John M. Witness Protection, California, on April 29, 2009 14:52:54

45. A++++++++++++++++++
    
    
    TODD FOR PRESIDENT!!
    
    and dave as VP

    By steF, on April 29, 2009 14:55:12

46. I feel kinda bad for her. I actually find Jen rather attractive, at least physically. She is still very pretty and has a nice figure; I'm sure she can find someone to impregnate her the old fashioned way. Hell, I'd totally do it if it wasn't for the fact that she is a needy, obsessive psycho, with personality flaws big enough to see from space. Surely there must be someone who can overlook that?

    By anonymous, on April 29, 2009 15:01:00

47. #29, ITA. Insecurity, etc. with Anniston.
    Nexxt,Tood, that was sofunny.
    I hope she works at being a good mom and really enjoys and wants parenthood. It is very rewarding. It is serious. A baby is not a new $5,000 handbag.
    

    By Boots and bows, on April 29, 2009 15:06:34

48. I love Jen and I think the story is complete fiction but even so I had to laugh at the ramble.
    
    I would change my name to Brad2 for a chance to bounce around with her. I'd be Jen's K-Fed or B-Fed or whatever she wants.

    By B to the Rad, on April 29, 2009 15:28:24

49. todd is a funny bitch and yet a cocksucking homo wetback puto named perez gets all the airplay in the celebrity bashing game...i mean seriously you really do have to ask what in the fuuck??

    By chai tea , on April 29, 2009 15:47:03

50. i see a few names blogging here who are regulars on other sites...resistance is futile ur hooked lined and sinkered

    By chai tea , on April 29, 2009 15:51:28

51. Bwahahahahhaha, that Aniston is really a whiny, pity me, pity me pathetic needy woman.

    By anonymous, on April 29, 2009 16:07:11

52. Amber and Kelly and Emily,
    
    Count me in. :)

    By anonymous, on April 29, 2009 17:10:31

53. god..she really needs to be double teamed by two big black dudes so she can think straight again..she is so lost right now..
    
    WAKE UP JEN! Go out and get that pussy/ass filled ASAP.

    By anonymous, on April 29, 2009 17:55:21

54. Good, now can she leave Angelina and Brad alone.
    sheeesh...

    By anonymous, on April 29, 2009 18:05:32

55. Why is this funny? The woman got dumped by her husband some 3-4 years ago and still has to endure the humiliation due to assholes like you.
    
    If she wants to adopt, power to her! I am sure she will make a wonderful mom and has the $$ to do it on her own. Back off haters and get a life already.

    By Janey, on April 29, 2009 18:17:32

56. AND!!! Not finished yet apparently.. How about making fun of Brangelina for their irresponsible parenting. Soon to be 7 kids under 8. With all their nannies they will still fuck this one up. I am sure Jen's baby will be just fine in comparison.

    By janey, on April 29, 2009 18:20:35

57. I will give her megaprops for adopting an American kid. Just because they were born into a rich country does not mean that abandoned children will live a good or safe life.
    
    That said, Todd does get superprops for his hilarious sort of "Loverboy" scenario. So does Humpinfrog, hee hee. "Now show Mommy you love her with a big wet kiss on the lips!"
    
    And if that is really Blandistan's motivation then she should stay childless. You're not supposed to spawn (or adopt) a kid for your own enrichment! That's why stupid skanky teens have babies they don't want, and why Vadge buys orphans from Malawi -- because they want the kids to do something for THEM and THEIR problems, not the other way round.

    By anonymous, on April 29, 2009 18:21:17

58. Todd how hot are you, forget about this now, I fancy you. you seem very tasty yum yum haha

    By anonymous, on April 29, 2009 18:38:10

59. Maybe she can "adopt" the Kid from Slumdog ?

    By BukkNekkid , on April 29, 2009 19:31:48

60. Todd - Having a good day....

    By Hung Wang, on April 29, 2009 20:07:50

61. Considering how desperate for attention she already is right now, is anybody not picturing a Friends episode circa 2020 called "The One Where Rachel Fucks The Adopted Kid"?

    By Ragno, on April 29, 2009 20:14:56

62. WOW! You seem to have some serious issues with Jennifer A...

    By anonymous, on April 29, 2009 22:32:27

63. This woman is not as insecure as every one seems to think, she is very strong. So she couldn't find the right man, she still deserves to expirience motherhood. I am sure she will be a much better mom than pshyconut angelina. And really do people honestly believe she is sitting around pining for the pig Brad that cheated on her and lied to her, I am sure she would never take his sorry ass back if he ever came crawling back after angelina sucks all the life out of him. Have you seen him lately he looks haggered, jen can date much hotter guys than bradly hung pooly

    By anonymous, on April 29, 2009 23:56:55

64. I hate this psycho clingy bitch ... but if she's looking for a kid, I'd be happy to fill her to the brim.

    By anonymous, on April 30, 2009 00:47:30

65. count you in for what ..the local buffett you fatties who sound so desperate always are first in line for.... har har har..get a life and quit living it on here..or maybe yesterday middleschool wasout..harharhar

    By allitolla cockamami, on April 30, 2009 01:18:38

66. Todd,
    I spit out my water from laughter while reading Jen's "ramble"
    You're a great writer, keeps me coming to this site!

    By anonymous, on April 30, 2009 03:19:52

67. Todd this is why you are the FUCKING POST MASTER!
    
    p.s.
    Punch Dave in the face for me and tell him to read what a good post looks like...

    By anonymous, on April 30, 2009 04:16:13

68. great post, what about the kid eating the same lunch/salad for all his school life?
    What about Norman getting to be the favorite child ? :D
    Well, if she does adopt good for her, but everyone will make a political instance of her adopting from the USA.
    

    By imar, on April 30, 2009 04:46:24

69. Why do people like Janey @ #55 & 56 and anon @ #63 get all mad and start screeching at anyone who dares insult their hero Aniston that they're probably Brangeloonatics and need to get a life, etc etc etc (extra points to Janey for including "haters" in her spittle filled rant,) yet turn around and do the exact same thing they're condemning by saying nasty shit about Brangelina...??? You're hypocrites. Deluded, hysterical, retarded hypocrites. You probably don't understand what I'm saying because your posts reek of stupidity, so let me spell it out for you:
    
    Y.O.U. A.R.E. S.T.U.P.I.D.
    
    
    
    
    
    

    By jimmy, on April 30, 2009 04:46:24

70. Let me guess: it's going to be a boy and she names him Brad...

    By Tizzle, on April 30, 2009 04:49:20

71. #69 ..nobody understands what you are saying jimmy because noone really cares what you are saying moron..you talk too much for what limited brains you have..please give it arest

    By hulk hogan, on April 30, 2009 05:23:29

72. that was a sick post and you're really pathetic! aniston is pretty and has a lot going for her.

    By anonymous, on April 30, 2009 08:07:27

73. Some of these comments are even funnier than the original post. Fortunately - Aniston adopting or having a bio baby is about as likely to happen as Brad going back to her. Homegirl just needs to stop lying. She no more wants a kid than I want to be Paris Hilton's best friend and have pre-drugs Brit Brit for my next door neighbor.

    By GMAFB, on April 30, 2009 11:48:25

74. jennifer aniston is homely...thats the fucking truth...brad pitt is notorious for his bad taste in females...robin givens (for fuck's sakes brad), that weird sweaty stinky crotch bitch juliette lewis, etc...then he finally got it right with angelina...but jennifer aniston is still a homely, thin-lipped needy twat

    By anonymous, on April 30, 2009 12:00:30

75. Why doesn't Jenn just buy a sperm bank and cut out all the public drama?
    ( Angelina told me to write this )

    By " Brad", Henpecked, California, on April 30, 2009 14:19:44

76. That poor twat of a child is going to be just another fucked up,needy,whiny shit of a child.

    By anonymous, on April 30, 2009 15:09:46

77. Some of your rambling is pretty funny, but it seems like your just shooting fish in a barrel. Leave her be.

    By anonymous, on April 30, 2009 18:29:16

78. Jen doesn't want Brad anymore, heck I don't even think Angelina wants Brad any more, have you seen him lately??
    

    By anonymous, on May 1, 2009 02:12:36

79. and I def wasn't SCREECHING, maybe you brain reads things you don't agree with in a screech. i am just posting in a normal tone.
    
    and angelina is a pshyco nut, and i believe jen will make a great mom, a better mom than thephscho nut that can not spend anytime off a movie set to be with all her adopted kiddos.
    i am sure jen really wants to expierence motherhood, and why shouldn't she? her buddy Sheryl crow adopted a baby boy and i am sure that has influenced her since she has not found mr. right.

    By Hey I posted #63, on May 1, 2009 04:23:24

80. Jennifer anniston cant keep a man. thats all!! Dont know why, but they all dumped her for hotter women ( Brad, Vince, the model who date Cameron Diaz, John...) Dont know her, but there is a reason why or many!!!

    By anonymous, on May 2, 2009 08:33:01

81. Wow! She fucked up BIG TIME divorcing Brad Pitt. PITTY!

    By anonymous, on May 6, 2009 18:29:40