There is not one single song he sings that I like. He sounds like he has peanut butter on the roof of his mouth with his nuts in a vice. There are better singers at dive-bars.
all I can say is I bet he gets more ass than I do...... so whatever works for him .. kuddos to him....does show you how stupid and dumb women can be..god bless them for thier stupididty
Let me get this straight, the Radio DJ's who drive used Hyundai's and use their local notoriety to chase club sluts are calling douchebag on a guy who bangs models?
Now John Mayer, he has got it right. Wear flashy outfits, like with a captain's hat to draw chicks attention. Write dumb-ass emo songs and sing 'em in a voiced that only dogs and crazy girls who think you are singing directly to them, like. Yeah, and text every poon within 200 feet of you at a party to get some. This will ensure you will attract the craziest chicks possible, one of whom will shank the shit out of you in bed because her invisble pal tells her too, or one of her multiple personalities does. The good news is that when you are dead your albums will finally sell in big numbers and people will suddenly think you were a great talent and way overlooked when you were living. This advice is gratis, since your record company is paying for it.
26 Comments:
Leave Your CommentMayer may be a douche nozzle, but you all without sin can cast the first stone. Who among us has not made a feeble booty call?
By x24, on May 15, 2009 04:18:05
So, this hooker goes up to party, doesn't put out, steals cab money, and then starts complaining about a text message?
You lucky you weren't partying with Kobe or Tyson bitch.
By BarbadoSlim, on May 15, 2009 05:24:03
Nobody's perfect, but that was weak John, weak!
By Casanova, on May 15, 2009 05:47:54
Yeah, can't fault him here. So he hit on her. Big deal, she is hot. The fact that she ever retold the story is kind of lame.
By AGB, on May 15, 2009 06:04:28
'I need some taxi money, I'm gonna go home now.'
Isn't that code for "I'm a prostitute, come with me and buy me some more stuff and you'll get laid."?
By anonymous, on May 15, 2009 06:11:17
He's a tool.
By anonymous, on May 15, 2009 06:16:28
can't blame the guy for trying...I'd like to tuck it in as well, and by "it" I mean "penis" and by "in" I mean "her ass"
By anonymous, on May 15, 2009 06:54:17
There is not one single song he sings that I like. He sounds like he has peanut butter on the roof of his mouth with his nuts in a vice. There are better singers at dive-bars.
By mineral water, on May 15, 2009 07:10:19
FACT: Owen Wilson texts girls lines from "Wedding Crashers" to get laid.
Fame is the greatest aphrodesiac.
By thebig28, on May 15, 2009 08:14:55
He stole your Captain's hat!
By Chantelle, on May 15, 2009 08:29:09
Yeah, but did she let him fuck her after all? She doesn't talk about that. Odds are he did.
She's prolly just bitter cause he blew her off after.
By anonymous, on May 15, 2009 09:30:56
Here's a clue: if someone sends for you from across the room, he's an ass. And if you get up and go to him anyway, you're an ass.
By Cubs Fan, on May 15, 2009 10:24:07
John Mayer???? He looks just like Gopher from the Love Boat..
By blahblahblah, on May 15, 2009 10:33:17
Can you say desperate? Ill ask the two of them...
By starbrite17, on May 15, 2009 12:34:35
He'll not be the next Poet Laureate. That was lamer than a broke-dick dog with hoof and mouth; a rare combination but hopefully you get the drift.
By George gordon, Lord /byron., on May 15, 2009 12:53:20
He'll not be the next Poet Laureate. That was lamer than a broke-dick dog with hoof and mouth; a rare combination but hopefully you get the drift.
P.S. His music, if it is such, blows goats.
By George Gordon, Lord Byron, on May 15, 2009 12:55:16
The only thing getting "tucked" is his penis, when he impersonates a chick to talk some drunken dude into banging him in his cabin.
By anonymous, on May 15, 2009 14:06:02
#5 Thats exactly right
Im a prostitute. I should know.
By nicoledill, on May 15, 2009 16:26:40
this poser needs slapped ...hard
By this twat and that reject aniston deserve each other , on May 15, 2009 17:27:18
Todd, you are the funniest motherfucker on the internet. consider this my marriage proposal of the day.
By Todd's BM, on May 15, 2009 20:04:30
all I can say is I bet he gets more ass than I do...... so whatever works for him .. kuddos to him....does show you how stupid and dumb women can be..god bless them for thier stupididty
By brad delp, on May 16, 2009 03:18:08
Let me get this straight, the Radio DJ's who drive used Hyundai's and use their local notoriety to chase club sluts are calling douchebag on a guy who bangs models?
By Who is this girl anyway?, on May 16, 2009 09:12:38
Now John Mayer, he has got it right. Wear flashy outfits, like with a captain's hat to draw chicks attention. Write dumb-ass emo songs and sing 'em in a voiced that only dogs and crazy girls who think you are singing directly to them, like. Yeah, and text every poon within 200 feet of you at a party to get some.
This will ensure you will attract the craziest chicks possible, one of whom will shank the shit out of you in bed because her invisble pal tells her too, or one of her multiple personalities does. The good news is that when you are dead your albums will finally sell in big numbers and people will suddenly think you were a great talent and way overlooked when you were living. This advice is gratis, since your record company is paying for it.
By Magic, on May 16, 2009 09:57:14
Douchetard.
By anonymous, on May 17, 2009 03:54:42
Well stated by #23.
By Peter Gozenya, on May 17, 2009 10:14:06
It's easy to grin
when your ship comes in
and you've got the stock market beat
but a man worthwhile
is the man who can smile
when his shorts are too tight in the seat
ok pookie, time to go bang john mayer
By keith, on May 18, 2009 02:22:33
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