24 Comments:

1. Another No Talent Ass-Clown in Hollywood. . . .

   By anonymous, on July 22, 2009 09:27:36

2. why would anyone try to remake the original? That looks like CRAP

   By anonymous, on July 22, 2009 09:57:09

3. So if Asslee is playing the wide-eyed yet sultry sex kitten tenant, does that mean Pete Wentz will play the pretentious and trendy resident gayboy?

   By anonymous, on July 22, 2009 10:11:46

4. Melrose Place? WTF? Why, oh dear God, why????
   
   Do we need this show rebooted? NO.

   By anonymous, on July 22, 2009 10:12:28

5. Why is this no-talent TWAT even being offered a part? She can't sing (*cough* MILLI VANILLI *cough*), can't act, can't dance (She showed us her dumbass doofus dance on SNL, when the tape she was lip synching to broke), she can't do anything. Why do no-talents like this get job offers? Is pimp daddy joe blowing every talent agent & producer in Hollywood?

   By anonymous, on July 22, 2009 10:27:34

6. Will not even watch it. She is a NOBODY. I would rather watch Grass Grow...

   By HungWang, on July 22, 2009 10:47:36

7. The only thing huge about this bitch is the diameter of her asshole from fagboy sticking everything and anything in it.

   By anonymous, on July 22, 2009 11:03:35

8. I'm a retard and I'm OK.

   By HungWang, on July 22, 2009 11:10:09

9. 6 posts in one day!!! My, my, someone has been a busy beaver. Now that's more like it!

   By Viking Girls, on July 22, 2009 11:52:07

10. Ashlee Simpson? Isn't she related to Miss Jessica Simpson? Her daughter,or her sister,or her sister-daughter,or daughter-sister. OWW,my head hurts!

    By JoeSmoke, on July 22, 2009 12:17:55

11. Why can't they cast adults in movies and TV anymore? Can America not bear the sight of someone over 25? Everything has to look like the fucking Hills.

    By anonymous, on July 22, 2009 14:13:58

12. i recall on her mtv reality show back when, she saw a broom in the kitchen and says "what's that?"
    
    c'mon, you pretentious dumb fuckin' broad. "what's that?" oh, you mean this brook stick that's about go into your mouth to come out of your stupid arse...

    By anonymous, on July 22, 2009 14:45:15

13. Considering how her own career has gone down the tubes, and her less-talented sister is still getting gigs, Jessica should be jumping off a building about now, or going all Jennifer Anniston with a rifle up in some clock tower in Texas.

    By Chicken of the Sea, on July 22, 2009 14:48:05

14. She looks so happy, especially in that last photo.
    
    "*WHINE* I though Pete was kidding about that whole 'gay' thing, like the way I was kidding when I did that awesome hoedown on that TV show, whatever it was called. I hate having a gay husband! DADDY!!!!!! I have to call Daddy! Who took my Princess phone?! And OMG somebody shut up that stupid kid! Shoot it or something. It's half-gay anyway, what's the fuckin' point?"

    By MelBlows Place, on July 22, 2009 16:33:57

15. As long as she shows her Tits frequently it'll all be OK !!!

    By BukkNekkid , on July 22, 2009 17:06:03

16. Two words that will make this the hottest show ever -- lesbian incest.
    
    Jess guest stars and seduces Ashlee.

    By Aaron Spelling, PO Box 666, Hell., on July 22, 2009 19:54:23

17. Todd don't ever leave us for any writing gig. Ever. If Michelle comes back and or some like her to write for this site it's going to be shit.
    
    You're destiny is to write for us forever!!!! MUHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! Make me laugh now Mr. Monkey!!! MUHAHA!

    By Todds #1 Fan, on July 22, 2009 20:08:15

18. It may be complex, but I think it looks Super!

    By Hogs, on July 22, 2009 20:18:51

19. She ought to the play the role of the no-talent hack with a fat sister who married a douchebag who went on Howard Stern and told the world that he bangs her ass and she swallows. That would be about the role she'd be convincing in.

    By anonymous, on July 23, 2009 00:48:36

20. Does anybody even watch that network?
    
    Nope.

    By jeditemple, on July 23, 2009 04:46:20

21. #19 is dead on. She has no talent, and absolutely no judgement at all. If my chick went on a program & said "my husband fucks me in the ass, and I swallow", there'd be a severe bitchslapping at the house that night. It's none of anyone's damn business.
    
    Only arrogant self important entitled self absorbed narcissists think they're so important that the world has to know EVERY insignificant detail about themselves. Fuck ASSHOLE simpson, fuck her gay husband and their stupid emo baby...

    By anonymous, on July 23, 2009 08:05:52

22. she still has a fucking big nose, hubby's tiny balls must be clipping her nose when they go by to her mouth

    By Jessica "He complets me", on July 23, 2009 12:03:43

23. How does Ashlee Simpson get an acting gig? That's just mind boggling.

    By anonymous, on July 24, 2009 01:22:15

24. So i guess botched faces are in. I bet this chicks got a kiddie pool full of botox and syringes.

    By anonymous, on July 25, 2009 07:35:50