25 Comments:

1. Bitch of a sister but she had to endure being in her shadow for so long. Now she's rich, has a hot body, has a kid, and is on a TV show. She's got it all over her sister now.

   By anonymous, on September 10, 2009 05:41:01

2. I'd tear her apart with my tiny cock. Yumyumyum, schrubhlighnschyum. She may well be a pointless and stupid person, but I want to have its babies. Raaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

   By yomp, on September 10, 2009 05:58:52

3. This thing is so fucking UGLY I can't stand it.

   By anonymous, on September 10, 2009 05:59:31

4. i can understand her not being envious of her sister, but ashlee did have her dad's baby AND she named it "bronx"...

   By anonymous, on September 10, 2009 06:12:37

5. ha ha! Your little sister has a "man," a body, and a career! L-O-S-E-R

   By Storm, on September 10, 2009 06:45:03

6. I guess Ash wants to be the only beard in the family!

   By anonymous, on September 10, 2009 06:58:31

7. Jessica: Unlucky divorcee, no real career, single.
   
   Ashlee: Technically married to gay guy, impending divorce, has baby called Bronx, no real career.
   
   I'd say that despite Jessica's patheticness, she's coming across as a bit luckier than Ashlee. At least she married a guy MORE rather than LESS macho than she is, she used to have a career that wasn't based on being "X's sister," and she isn't spawning poserbabies with douchey names.

   By anonymous, on September 10, 2009 07:06:32

8. Well said, #7. Asslee is only where she's at because she rode Chestica's coattails. It's highly doubtful that she would gotten to where she is on her merits (does she even have any?) and her old nose. Her and her gayboy hubby can go eat shit. And I hope her recycled piece of crap they call a show tanks! And for any of those who dare accuse me of being jealous, you're wrong. I just can't stand shitwits like the Simpsons and Wentzes.

   By anonymous, on September 10, 2009 07:28:25

9. Wow. She's lookin' a bit harsh these days. A future SJP in the works?
   
   Messica at least has a shoe empire to fall back on now that her breasts are showing the effects of age and gravity.
   
   What's Asslee got? A bad TV show and a freak ass "husband" who publically humiliates her?
   
   Same ol' Asslee spitting vitriol at her sister. We'd hoped she'd changed with motherhood, but apparently she's only gotten shrewier. And looks it, too.

   By anonymous, on September 10, 2009 07:45:06

10. Why should she envy her sister? She has rocker husband...A man who wears eyeliner and lipstick. A cute baby...named Bronx Mogli. And a fabulous singing career...her last album cost 99 cents at the mall.

    By dragonlady sakura, on September 10, 2009 08:11:08

11. Why is ANYONE asking this emptyheaded douchebag questions? She's as vapid & fake as her sister, has nothing worthwhile to say & is married to a gayboy. WHO THE FUCK CARES WHAT ASSHOLE SIMPSON SAYS? Time to move on to someone who has functioning neurons...

    By anonymous, on September 10, 2009 10:29:13

12. As a woman who neither wants marriage or children, I'm not jealous of either of them, since Ashlee is married to a queer, has a queer baby and had to have 50 nose jobs just to be considered attractive, and Jessica is divorced, gaining weight and has a flailing career. But as others have said, as least she got that career with her own boobs instead of relying on her sister's boobs to draw attention to her.

    By anonymous, on September 10, 2009 10:42:53

13. I don't blame her at all, why lie and say she admires someone who isn't really that good at anything just because your related. Not too many relatives would actually do that in the real world anyway, it's called false support which is worse than the truth.

    By Liz Lemon, on September 10, 2009 11:14:22

14. You people do realize that we're discussing a woman whose extra nose parts were used to reconstruct her damaged anus. Raise you hands if you're going to watch her on the new Melrose Place...you know, the apartment building that is "so complex." [Crickets chirping] Yeah, that's what I thought.

    By jeditemple, on September 10, 2009 11:22:08

15. This homely slut cuts one or two lousy, poor selling CD's and she is significate why ? Quit giving her the attention she craves, because that's all she's got.

    By anonymous, on September 10, 2009 11:27:48

16. This is me plus everyone else on the planet answering those exact same questions: "I could be happily married with a baby, or be jessica simpson? really?"
    
    just cause she phrased it differently, doesn't mean she's wrong for feeling that way or feels different than any person on the planet would.
    
    

    By jordan remmes, on September 10, 2009 11:42:40

17. These "Simpsons" are almost as funny as that other Family that goes by the same name.

    By BukkNekkid , on September 10, 2009 12:03:25

18. I'm just amazed that Ashlee still gets the attention that she does. Am I the only person who remembers her lip synch bust on SNL?
    
    Jessica has way more going on than Ashlee, and is way better looking - Ashlee is simply jealous, and that is why she said some of the hurtful things that she did.

    By Midlife Bachelor, on September 10, 2009 12:32:08

19. To you idiots (and I say that affectionately) saying to move on from this famewhore:
    
    Um, no. Thank you.
    
    IDLYITW cut its eyeteeth on early Asslee. The point of the site is to lampoon only those few proven worthy of our disapproval. The Simpletons are so deserving of our ire.
    
    I know you think this site is all about shit for brains with big titties, but originally, it was funny as hell. Unfortunately, many of the meanest original commentators have left.
    
    Read the archives and you'll see what I'm talking about.

    By Sami, on September 10, 2009 14:13:38

20. She has that ugly sister complex like Solange.

    By anonymous, on September 10, 2009 15:53:13

21. #19
    
    Thank you, for remembering the more snarky commenters that gave me the impetus to read this site on a daily basis. BarbadoSlim, Vigilante - where have you gone?
    
    Hell, back to the topic at hand. That banner pic of Asslee Simp-Son looks like someone punched her in the face. I really doubt Fagboy Wentz dick-slapped her. I'll blame Papa Joe.

    By i'm three years in, on September 10, 2009 16:02:04

22. Whatev bitch, at least your sister looks like she'd never turn down a night of pizza and lolling around talking about what pigs you are later. Meanwhile, this festering whore looks like the chick who'd sit on a counter legs spread and finger herself in front of my boyfriend while staring at me without blinking.
    
    Fuck you Ashlee for making me defend Jessica - I just hate her a little less than you

    By Laurie, on September 10, 2009 16:29:42

23. I might end up liking the Simpson sisters, if they weren't so God Damn Fake!

    By anonymous, on September 10, 2009 21:23:59

24. If there is any justice in the world, Pete Wentz will be crushed in a cotton press...pecker first.

    By anonymous, on September 11, 2009 04:56:50

25. #2... Jonny G., is that you? Anyhoo... as a chick, I would bang and hang out with Jessica.... Asslee seems like a bitch, but Jessica seems like she'd be fun... until she got drunk and weepy.

    By Marissa, on September 11, 2009 12:52:35