"...I'd still need to hire my penis a motivational speaker."
Goddammit, Todd. Could you at least put a "Warning! I'm at the top of my game today and when you read this post you better not do it when the boss is within earshot, because you're going to snort like Tony Montana with a pound of blow in front of him and the boss will hear it and give you that 'you're already on thin ice, fucker' look that's been coming *way* too often lately" warning on these posts? You're gonna get me fired, you dick.
#1, it really wasn't THAT funny. Just Todd being Todd. Not only are you an ass kisser, your ironic rebuke written in a Todd-esque fashion is horrifically unfunny.
"I could smoke a barrel full of weed and I would still never be able to understand how a piece of ass like Jessica Lowndes is on 90210 yet AnnaLynne McCord's fug ass is the breakout star."
Because you're either gay or smoke too much weed. Either way, not my problem. AnnaLynne's a babe!
Yes, clearly I'm trying to "suck ass" with my posts. That's why I never use the same name twice and have spent absolutely zero energy trying to make a name for myself here. It's all a desperate attempt to get Todd to hire me to be a contributing editor for the site by dazzling him with my wit so hard that he goes back and sifts through the IP addresses of everyone who posts here just to see who I am. I'm truly sorry that I had to completely bite Todd's style when I posted, as there's absolutely *no* chance that in the real world I actually write like a wordy, obnoxious asshole and would rather type up something more entertaining than "I LOLed hard!" to let him know that I think he's funny. Truly, you are my moral superior and I will never sully this website with my pathetic attempts at Todd-ness ever again. I accept your rebuke and will now go shroud myself in sackcloth and ashes.
Your posts are too long; it's a chore to read them. Not only are you long-winded, you're boring, so there's no payoff for trudging through the entire comment.
re "It's all a desperate attempt to get Todd to hire me to be a contributing editor for the site by dazzling him with my wit so hard"
Um, nobody accused you of trying to get hired as a writer for this site, so why would you say that? Methinks thou doth protest too much.
Your posts are too long; it's a chore to read them. Not only are you long-winded, you're boring, so there's no payoff for trudging through the entire comment.
re "It's all a desperate attempt to get Todd to hire me to be a contributing editor for the site by dazzling him with my wit so hard"
Um, nobody accused you of trying to get hired as a writer for this site, so why would you say that? Methinks thou doth protest too much.
They get started by snorting coke and sleeping with anyone who will put them in a movie. I thought we have been over this again and again.
Unless your a jew then they just have to ask somebody in the family for a role. Many die of a drug overdose which gets covered up(Murphy, Ledger) and that goes for the guys too...they are ALL gay...
Your Tony Montana simile did you in. It's clear you put some thought into it, but it just wasn't funny. If it doesn't make me laugh, what's the fucking point? Makes me think you just like rimming Todd's tender asshole.
36 Comments:
Leave Your Comment"...I'd still need to hire my penis a motivational speaker."
Goddammit, Todd. Could you at least put a "Warning! I'm at the top of my game today and when you read this post you better not do it when the boss is within earshot, because you're going to snort like Tony Montana with a pound of blow in front of him and the boss will hear it and give you that 'you're already on thin ice, fucker' look that's been coming *way* too often lately" warning on these posts? You're gonna get me fired, you dick.
By I heart Todd, but knock it the hell off., on February 3, 2010 07:18:15
i'd do her, hard.
By anonymous, on February 3, 2010 07:20:20
um, where can I find that barrel full of weed? I'll give it a shot.
By anonymous, on February 3, 2010 07:33:08
WHATS WRONG TODD,IS IT BECAUSE SHE IS NOT COVERED IN TATS AND LOOKS LIKE A BAR SLUT IS THE REASON YOU WOULD'NT DO HER?
By WALT1295, on February 3, 2010 07:43:23
#1, suck ass much?
By anonymous, on February 3, 2010 07:56:42
Annalynne MehCord.
By anonymous, on February 3, 2010 07:57:37
#1, it really wasn't THAT funny. Just Todd being Todd. Not only are you an ass kisser, your ironic rebuke written in a Todd-esque fashion is horrifically unfunny.
By anonymous, on February 3, 2010 08:00:23
no #4, it's because she looks like the crypt keeper,
By stating the obvious, on February 3, 2010 08:00:47
...but she's on the cover of magazines. I wish somebody would explain this to me.
She sucks a mean-ass cock and the queers that decide what passes for culture in this country like her.
By anonymous, on February 3, 2010 08:20:22
So hot. rubbing it out right now.
back to work.
By anonymous, on February 3, 2010 08:24:10
Ok ... maybe she's not a '10' (not even close), but is she really THAT bad?
By anonymous, on February 3, 2010 08:31:24
I Bwahahahahaha'd. Hard. Epic work, Todd.
By anonymous, on February 3, 2010 08:47:16
nice coat hangers there.and you just know she gives a mean BJ with those lips an jawline....
By anonymous, on February 3, 2010 08:54:34
"I could smoke a barrel full of weed and I would still never be able to understand how a piece of ass like Jessica Lowndes is on 90210 yet AnnaLynne McCord's fug ass is the breakout star."
Because you're either gay or smoke too much weed. Either way, not my problem. AnnaLynne's a babe!
By Tony, on February 3, 2010 09:23:32
I concur.
By Lips, on February 3, 2010 09:29:19
Dear #5 and #7,
Yes, clearly I'm trying to "suck ass" with my posts. That's why I never use the same name twice and have spent absolutely zero energy trying to make a name for myself here. It's all a desperate attempt to get Todd to hire me to be a contributing editor for the site by dazzling him with my wit so hard that he goes back and sifts through the IP addresses of everyone who posts here just to see who I am. I'm truly sorry that I had to completely bite Todd's style when I posted, as there's absolutely *no* chance that in the real world I actually write like a wordy, obnoxious asshole and would rather type up something more entertaining than "I LOLed hard!" to let him know that I think he's funny. Truly, you are my moral superior and I will never sully this website with my pathetic attempts at Todd-ness ever again. I accept your rebuke and will now go shroud myself in sackcloth and ashes.
By Sincerely, That Guy Who Sucks All The Ass, on February 3, 2010 10:04:02
Hated her in nip/tuck. Didn't find her attractive compared to the other chicks on the show. I would fuck her, but isn't she a carpet muncher?
By I'm horny today so why not, on February 3, 2010 10:05:13
I'd hit it, but I probably wouldn't brag about it.
By That Guy, on February 3, 2010 10:15:23
Maybe she gives better head than Jess. Or her publicist has mob connections.
By Joeseph, on February 3, 2010 10:27:58
#1 - #16
Your posts are too long; it's a chore to read them. Not only are you long-winded, you're boring, so there's no payoff for trudging through the entire comment.
re "It's all a desperate attempt to get Todd to hire me to be a contributing editor for the site by dazzling him with my wit so hard"
Um, nobody accused you of trying to get hired as a writer for this site, so why would you say that? Methinks thou doth protest too much.
By Beppo, on February 3, 2010 10:28:07
She looks like a chimpanzee. I guess I would do her, but I sure wouldn't pay anything for it.
By thesand, on February 3, 2010 10:30:02
#1 - #16
Your posts are too long; it's a chore to read them. Not only are you long-winded, you're boring, so there's no payoff for trudging through the entire comment.
re "It's all a desperate attempt to get Todd to hire me to be a contributing editor for the site by dazzling him with my wit so hard"
Um, nobody accused you of trying to get hired as a writer for this site, so why would you say that? Methinks thou doth protest too much.
By Beppo, on February 3, 2010 10:41:03
I'd do em both.
By anonymous, on February 3, 2010 10:41:18
She's alright but nothing special. Honest.
By Straight guy, on February 3, 2010 12:08:46
Her forehead looks like a case of hydroencephaly.
By anonymous, on February 3, 2010 13:05:13
They get started by snorting coke and sleeping with anyone who will put them in a movie. I thought we have been over this again and again.
Unless your a jew then they just have to ask somebody in the family for a role. Many die of a drug overdose which gets covered up(Murphy, Ledger) and that goes for the guys too...they are ALL gay...
By HungWang, on February 3, 2010 13:12:18
Beppo - quit posting the same long post, you fucking piece of worthless shit. B.E.P.P.O. Bites Enormous Pink Penis Often
By anonymous, on February 3, 2010 14:13:34
#16 you're an idiot.
By anonymous, on February 3, 2010 14:32:11
HungWang you're an idiot.
By anonymous, on February 3, 2010 14:40:53
#16 hate to break it to you but you're not funny. You're just a douche bag.
By anonymous, on February 3, 2010 14:42:50
Yep... I'd still hit it, too.
By anonymous, on February 3, 2010 16:13:34
Tremendous Butterface.
By anonymous, on February 4, 2010 03:39:55
you get a sense from her that this bitch thinks she's so hot and really, she's just meh.
By anonymous, on February 4, 2010 03:58:02
America's finest.
By anonymous, on February 4, 2010 09:51:02
#16
Your Tony Montana simile did you in. It's clear you put some thought into it, but it just wasn't funny. If it doesn't make me laugh, what's the fucking point? Makes me think you just like rimming Todd's tender asshole.
By beef mullet, on February 4, 2010 10:19:25
Why does the Predator have tits?
By anon, on February 4, 2010 21:41:06
<< Continue Reading IDontLikeYouInThatWay.com