According to Jessica Simpson's stylist, Jessica would come in and talk about how John Mayer fucked her in the ass while they watched gay porn together. He would shoot on her back and then proceed to lick it up. 100% true story.
I'm sorry but I think Jessica Simpson is focking hhhot hhhot hhhot. Any guy would be lucky to have her for even five minutes ... which is about all the time I would last! I really do think she is that hot - wow.
John Mayer may very well be the D-bag of the century. Why does this idiot advertise every moment of his life? He should date Tila Tequila already...his perfect match.
It makes sense that J.Simp is a freak since she waited until she married a gay dude to have sex. I don't fucking blame her.
PS: John Mayer is the biggest, grossest sleazeball douchebag EVER. He's disgusting and when I look at pictures of him I want to break his face in with a sledgehammer.
That guy is such an F-ing DOUCHEBAG. He makes music for little tweens and desperate single women. Nothing he says should every be taken seriously. When is his 15 minutes over because it's getting just pathetic
Mentally challenged desperate women (i.e. Jessica) will do whatever it takes to keep a man around so I'm not surprised about his "addiction" to her as she probably let him do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted to do it, in whatever hole he wanted to do it in.
His comments are as unoriginal as his music. Remember "She's like heroin to me" by The Gun Club. Even the comparison he makes is stolen. Yuck. Why is het so popular when there are so many more talented people out there? Nothing he does or says is new.
We're losing sight of the real issue here: that John Mayer is not just an industry-standard douche nozzle, but that he, his perpetual-motion penis, and especially his million-selling albums of digitally-gleaming lo-cal turd smoothies for Ally McBeal wannabes, personify everything that sucks shit and gives you cancer besides in mainstream American 'culture'.
If Jessica pretends she dont want it, then gives in slowly, than turns slut and calls you daddy, you would call her a ten in 10....Great tits Todd lets face it. Its important!
I didn't mean to compare him to The Gun Club, i meant to CONTRAST him to, well, any real musician of any genre. Like I said, everything he does is a rip of of someone else. I don't understand why this guy sells so many records when there are many more talented and original singers and songwriters out there. And he has zero taste in women, too.
When I see a hot photo of this sexy White woman my dick gets harder than a $25 bag of jawbreakers and when John Mayer implied that Jessica Simpson is hot in bed, my dick REALLY got stiff. Damn, you, John, why did you have to reveal that to the world.
29 Comments:
Leave Your CommentDamn, now i want to fuck her!
By anonymous, on February 10, 2010 05:18:59
I would love a guy to say that about me. but i'm not fat enough, I guess.
By anonymous, on February 10, 2010 05:21:53
Wow. This story and those pics just made me spooge>
By anonymous, on February 10, 2010 05:52:03
That is not fat... Rosie Odonnell is fat
By anonymous, on February 10, 2010 06:12:59
According to Jessica Simpson's stylist, Jessica would come in and talk about how John Mayer fucked her in the ass while they watched gay porn together. He would shoot on her back and then proceed to lick it up. 100% true story.
By anonymous, on February 10, 2010 06:17:23
John Mayer is a douche.
By anonymous, on February 10, 2010 06:22:06
that's funny. you bake cookies for anal. I bake cookies so the valets will park my car for free =)
By giraffe tamer, on February 10, 2010 06:23:01
I'm sorry but I think Jessica Simpson is focking hhhot hhhot hhhot. Any guy would be lucky to have her for even five minutes ... which is about all the time I would last! I really do think she is that hot - wow.
By Midlife Bachelor, on February 10, 2010 06:54:16
Was this his way of saying that the CHin sucks.
By anonymous, on February 10, 2010 07:22:43
John Mayer may very well be the D-bag of the century. Why does this idiot advertise every moment of his life? He should date Tila Tequila already...his perfect match.
By Flipper, on February 10, 2010 07:23:07
It makes sense that J.Simp is a freak since she waited until she married a gay dude to have sex. I don't fucking blame her.
PS: John Mayer is the biggest, grossest sleazeball douchebag EVER. He's disgusting and when I look at pictures of him I want to break his face in with a sledgehammer.
By justAgirl, on February 10, 2010 07:42:27
#4, agreed
By anonymous, on February 10, 2010 08:08:34
That guy is such an F-ing DOUCHEBAG. He makes music for little tweens and desperate single women. Nothing he says should every be taken seriously. When is his 15 minutes over because it's getting just pathetic
By Mike, on February 10, 2010 08:21:28
Who is John Mayer?
By anonymous, on February 10, 2010 08:23:42
WOO-HOO THATS MY GIRL!!!!!!
By Papa Joe, on February 10, 2010 08:27:14
Mentally challenged desperate women (i.e. Jessica) will do whatever it takes to keep a man around so I'm not surprised about his "addiction" to her as she probably let him do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted to do it, in whatever hole he wanted to do it in.
By anonymous, on February 10, 2010 09:34:02
His comments are as unoriginal as his music.
Remember "She's like heroin to me" by The Gun Club. Even the comparison he makes is stolen. Yuck. Why is het so popular when there are so many more talented people out there?
Nothing he does or says is new.
By anonymous, on February 10, 2010 09:48:25
Ugh - please let's not compare this no-talent to The Gun Club!
By anonymous, on February 10, 2010 09:56:10
I didn't see this coming. She never struck me as someone....talented.
By anonymous, on February 10, 2010 12:49:10
I wouldn't be surprised if creepy Joe SSimpson paid Jon "d-bag_ Mayer to say that carp
By pk, on February 10, 2010 13:59:13
sorry about typos above but have been snowed in all day and ma very drunk
By pk, on February 10, 2010 14:00:08
People...people!
We're losing sight of the real issue here: that John Mayer is not just an industry-standard douche nozzle, but that he, his perpetual-motion penis, and especially his million-selling albums of digitally-gleaming lo-cal turd smoothies for Ally McBeal wannabes, personify everything that sucks shit and gives you cancer besides in mainstream American 'culture'.
By Ragno, on February 10, 2010 15:29:53
If Jessica pretends she dont want it, then gives in slowly, than turns slut and calls you daddy, you would call her a ten in 10....Great tits Todd lets face it. Its important!
By HungWang, on February 10, 2010 17:38:29
HungWang you're an idiot.
By anonymous, on February 10, 2010 19:36:49
John Mayer fucking douchebag, end of story
By anonymous, on February 11, 2010 02:28:58
pk's drunken comment was the funniest thing I've read on here in months.
By anonymous, on February 11, 2010 03:37:39
haae is such a jerk she is such a beautiful person.he is not the best looking person on earth.
By anonymous, on February 11, 2010 06:05:56
I didn't mean to compare him to The Gun Club, i meant to CONTRAST him to, well, any real musician of any genre. Like I said, everything he does is a rip of of someone else. I don't understand why this guy sells so many records when there are many more talented and original singers and songwriters out there. And he has zero taste in women, too.
By anonymous, on February 13, 2010 10:34:02
When I see a hot photo of this sexy White woman my dick gets harder than a $25 bag of jawbreakers and when John Mayer implied that Jessica Simpson is hot in bed, my dick REALLY got stiff. Damn, you, John, why did you have to reveal that to the world.
By spikewebbe, on March 5, 2010 10:18:52
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