Penelope Cruz could tell me to go fuck myself and it'd still sound cute in her little kitten-cuddle accent. Gentlemen, I hereby declare that if I ever see Javier Bardem on the street I'm going to punch him in the dick on behalf of all of us just for dashing our hopes and dreams to the ground like so much discarded crockery. That Mexican bastard. I hate him so much. Why can't he just be some obnoxious Eurotrash race-car driver or something so we can all say "yeah, but she married a dick!" But nooooooo... he's gotta go and be a "great actor" and a "nice guy" and stuff. What a douche.
Oh fuck this little bitch. Any of you fucksticks remember how Hollywood casted her in a dozen flicks that ALL tanked with the exception of Vanilla Sky, where she played the EXACT same character she did in the original. She was and is box office poison and it's because she looks and acts like a little cunt which is why she was well cast in Vicky Christina Barcelona.
16 Comments:
Leave Your CommentPenelope Cruz could tell me to go fuck myself and it'd still sound cute in her little kitten-cuddle accent. Gentlemen, I hereby declare that if I ever see Javier Bardem on the street I'm going to punch him in the dick on behalf of all of us just for dashing our hopes and dreams to the ground like so much discarded crockery. That Mexican bastard. I hate him so much. Why can't he just be some obnoxious Eurotrash race-car driver or something so we can all say "yeah, but she married a dick!" But nooooooo... he's gotta go and be a "great actor" and a "nice guy" and stuff. What a douche.
By I. B. Jellus, on July 14, 2010 05:41:09
yeah we'd ALL like to tittyfuck that woman :)))
By dude, on July 14, 2010 05:49:40
i love her and i love him and i love them together. the relationship between their characters in vicky christina reminded me of me and koko.
By giraffe tamer, on July 14, 2010 06:24:09
#1 Javier would just blast you with that silenced shotgun, or zap you in the head with his airgun. He wouldn't even ask heads or tails.
By anonymous, on July 14, 2010 06:37:24
When did she get THOSE jugs???
By anonymous, on July 14, 2010 06:38:41
Her baby will be amused reading all the graffitti on her uterine walls.
Everybody and diddy was there.
By anonymous, on July 14, 2010 07:04:35
She's one of the few celebrities that has never annoyed me in any way so I'll just say Congratulations and leave it at that.
By She's probably BI, on July 14, 2010 08:52:52
Is her sister still available?
By anonymous, on July 14, 2010 10:22:55
Ha, I'm back.
By Taz, on July 14, 2010 10:35:37
And it's 1997 again...
By anonymous, on July 14, 2010 10:42:40
Well, she did "date" Tom Cruise.
By she's a beard, on July 14, 2010 10:42:59
http://www.vuvuzela-time.co.uk/www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com/2010/07/penelope-cruz-got-married.html
By anonymous, on July 14, 2010 13:08:12
Oh fuck this little bitch. Any of you fucksticks remember how Hollywood casted her in a dozen flicks that ALL tanked with the exception of Vanilla Sky, where she played the EXACT same character she did in the original. She was and is box office poison and it's because she looks and acts like a little cunt which is why she was well cast in Vicky Christina Barcelona.
By anonymous, on July 14, 2010 13:33:53
what lesbian rumor???
By anonymous, on July 14, 2010 13:50:21
I sat across the aisle from her and Javier on a flight to Costa Rica, and I can say that she's not really all that hot in person.
I mean she's still hot, just not all that hot. Like Top 5 in the Grocery Store hot, not Hottest Chick in Town hot.
By anonymous, on July 14, 2010 19:00:54
I liked the Family Guy episode where Peter stroked her nose and fed her a carrot.
By anonymous, on July 15, 2010 04:44:13
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