Cristiano Ronaldo is a Portuguese soccer player and who your girlfriend wishes you looked like. He is also the ass face of Armani Jeans (where are the jeans??) and is seen here in their newest ad campaign. Is it just me or is there something so unsexual about this guy? Don’t get me wrong- his body is a major double rainbow, but it’s more something I would hang on the wall than hang from my bedpost. Maybe it has a little to do with the fact that he’s been in this and this and wears shorts like these. Also, let’s just take a look at the bottom picture for a sec, k? Homeboy is clearly not packing much more than a starter pistol in his waistband holster. I've seen conas that are more convincing as a caralho than this nonsense.