What kind of dirt does G-Pal have on Jessica Seinfeld? Was G-Pal brandishing a gun? Was Jessica able to finish what she had to say before choking on G-Pal's cock?
Talk about a band of fawning idiots. (Michael Stipe gets a pass for the 'duck on fire' story.)
My only hope is that G-Pal cooks with natural gas. She has such a spark to her!
Can't wait for Jessica Seinfeld's book, 'The Long Island Guide to Gold Digging.'
1. Change your name if it's Nina; 2. Divorce your rich husband 3 weeks after marriage so you can marry that big seriously rich celebrity you met at the gym; 3. Have babies. Fast. 4. Relax.
Re #7's comments about Seinfeld's wife. ALL true, and Jerry has been backpedaling for years saying none of it is true--obviously praying for the public's short attention span...not. I always thought, "Why on earth would he even marry a woman who ditched her newlywed husband?" What on earth does that say about her character? Oh. I see. You want her to be the mother of your children. Great. Supah Dupah!
Paltrow learned all about pancakes from staring at her chest. How can her husband sit around and listen to this pretentious shit? It seems very her and "oh so not" him.
im sure when she began to put the lobster to a dignified death the refined way with daintiness and etiquette, the lobster grabbed the knife and slit its own fuckin wrists. im wondering why all the dinner guests didnt do the same. wutta letdown.
You're simply envious because GP was schooled in social graces and doesn't poison her body with toxins. Also, she's fluent in Spanish and can sing, cook, exercise in a non-conformist way, and has an Oscar. Who can forget how much we were touched by her speech when she fought back the tears and wailed and thanked 'Grampa' in her hot pink dress? It would have been a travesty if Cate Blanchette had won for 'Elizabeth' that night. Fortunately, GP was able to pull in a few more votes by holding a dinner party with the elite.
Also, she star-fucked Brad Pitt and Ben Affleck and was star-fucked herself by Scott Speedman before settling down with a boring but rich pop-star who might be able to help her become a British citizen. She was in a film directed by daddy where she sang with Huey Lewis and, as a youth, attended schools for pedigree offspring where she laughed at inferior companions who did not have a mother named 'Blythe'.
Her hobbies include dressing lobsters, levitating yoga, mashing broadbeans with extra-virgin cold-pressed truffle oil and red sea salt, befriending wealthy celebrities and holding dinner parties where guests satirically share anecdotes about uncouth Americans and compare baby names while eating the superfoods she has prepared.
If you like her as much as I do, buy her cookbook or watch the last scene of Se7en (I bet she suggested they put that number in the title).
What's in the box? Gwynnie's head with an apple stuck in her giant mouth.
I couldn't imagine reading anything more boring than a book written by such a nothing of a woman. What has she ever done of any real interest whatsoever?
This whole shebang seems like something out of an episode of Seinfeld. All that's missing are George and Jerry's observations to make the audience roll with laughter. What have you become, Mr. Seinfeld?
How could anybody like this America-bashing fake English wanna be who now decides she should be a country music star? If she ever gets a country award, I'm gonna start listening to hard rap. I truly cannot stand this spoiled bitch.
Really?... A woman who can act, sing, has social grace, is a mother, wife, friend , is attractive and can cook like jack the bear??? Hello...what exactly is it about YOURSELF that you hate so much?
31 Comments:
Leave Your CommentMy Father's Daughter???
What else the fuck would you be, you pretentious bitch?
Her book has the special feature that, if you tear the cover off and turn it sideways, it becomes life sized
"I must have your chili recipe"
She obviously doesn't recognise sarcasm or simple politeness when she hears it
How does she kill the lobster?
Talk it to death?
Re this book:
I'm going to have a six pack and a hunk of summer sausage and fart a nice wet fart, just for Gwyneth
By World Class Dick, on April 21, 2011 09:01:25
I soooooo want a dragon to count my gold. . .
By anonymous, on April 21, 2011 09:08:11
What kind of dirt does G-Pal have on Jessica Seinfeld? Was G-Pal brandishing a gun?
Was Jessica able to finish what she had to say before choking on G-Pal's cock?
Talk about a band of fawning idiots. (Michael Stipe gets a pass for the 'duck on fire' story.)
My only hope is that G-Pal cooks with natural gas. She has such a spark to her!
By joejoe, on April 21, 2011 09:12:48
Oh.
By anonymous, on April 21, 2011 09:14:35
I actually invited all of these people to my book launch party as well. Still waiting to hear back...
P.S. I despise Paltrow. If she and Heigl could somehow manage to drive off of a cliff together, the sun would shine just a bit brighter that day.
By Dr. Rob Dobrenski, on April 21, 2011 09:22:25
Cunt!!!!
By PK, on April 21, 2011 09:52:27
Can't wait for Jessica Seinfeld's book, 'The Long Island Guide to Gold Digging.'
1. Change your name if it's Nina;
2. Divorce your rich husband 3 weeks after marriage so you can marry that big seriously rich celebrity you met at the gym;
3. Have babies. Fast.
4. Relax.
By anonymous, on April 21, 2011 10:00:45
WCD ... apt.
By Adrenalynn Tuber, on April 21, 2011 10:12:29
What a twat, seriously is this bitch for real? And what a bunch of ass kissing idiots.
By Steve Drill, on April 21, 2011 10:59:29
God almighty I never knew I could plunge my fist so far down my own throat!
By anonymous, on April 21, 2011 11:14:05
Re #7's comments about Seinfeld's wife. ALL true, and Jerry has been backpedaling for years saying none of it is true--obviously praying for the public's short attention span...not. I always thought, "Why on earth would he even marry a woman who ditched her newlywed husband?" What on earth does that say about her character? Oh. I see. You want her to be the mother of your children. Great. Supah Dupah!
Paltrow learned all about pancakes from staring at her chest. How can her husband sit around and listen to this pretentious shit? It seems very her and "oh so not" him.
By anonymous, on April 21, 2011 11:17:33
The Pretentious Star's Recipe For Being An Annoying Twat: 1) Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Repeat as needed. Serves everyone.
By anonymous, on April 21, 2011 11:24:01
Clearly Todd is just jealous that he hasn't made a success of his life like Gwyneth has.
By anonymous, on April 21, 2011 11:36:18
So annoying!
But she's still more likeable than Donald Trump.
By anonymous, on April 21, 2011 12:20:16
She fucked up the 1999 Oscars, she fucked up Glee, figures she'd continue her streak with her narcissism.
By anonymous, on April 21, 2011 12:24:11
these people are all in the proverbial bed with each other, a bed that extends far beyond merely the entertainment and publishing industries.
By anonymous, on April 21, 2011 12:29:35
She's looking a little Skelletorish like Angelina Jolie.
By anonymous, on April 21, 2011 12:39:15
Would those quotes sound anymore fake? Seriously, it's almost as if they were written by publicists. Hey, wait a minute...
By anonymous, on April 21, 2011 13:14:28
Yeah, let's hate her because she cooks and published a cook book. Can you believe that woman!?
By anonymous, on April 21, 2011 13:36:45
im sure when she began to put the lobster to a dignified death the refined way with daintiness and etiquette, the lobster grabbed the knife and slit its own fuckin wrists.
im wondering why all the dinner guests didnt do the same.
wutta letdown.
By anonymous, on April 21, 2011 14:16:49
You're simply envious because GP was schooled in social graces and doesn't poison her body with toxins. Also, she's fluent in Spanish and can sing, cook, exercise in a non-conformist way, and has an Oscar. Who can forget how much we were touched by her speech when she fought back the tears and wailed and thanked 'Grampa' in her hot pink dress? It would have been a travesty if Cate Blanchette had won for 'Elizabeth' that night. Fortunately, GP was able to pull in a few more votes by holding a dinner party with the elite.
Also, she star-fucked Brad Pitt and Ben Affleck and was star-fucked herself by Scott Speedman before settling down with a boring but rich pop-star who might be able to help her become a British citizen. She was in a film directed by daddy where she sang with Huey Lewis and, as a youth, attended schools for pedigree offspring where she laughed at inferior companions who did not have a mother named 'Blythe'.
Her hobbies include dressing lobsters, levitating yoga, mashing broadbeans with extra-virgin cold-pressed truffle oil and red sea salt, befriending wealthy celebrities and holding dinner parties where guests satirically share anecdotes about uncouth Americans and compare baby names while eating the superfoods she has prepared.
If you like her as much as I do, buy her cookbook or watch the last scene of Se7en (I bet she suggested they put that number in the title).
What's in the box? Gwynnie's head with an apple stuck in her giant mouth.
By Veronica, on April 21, 2011 14:42:33
I still think she's beautiful.....
By Big SeXXXy, on April 21, 2011 15:08:53
I'd rather still be fat than to eat this cunt's whatever so-called food.
By anonymous, on April 21, 2011 18:17:06
I couldn't imagine reading anything more boring than a book written by such a nothing of a woman. What has she ever done of any real interest whatsoever?
By anonymous, on April 21, 2011 18:33:33
I don't know why, but I really like Gwyneth.
By anonymous, on April 21, 2011 18:35:56
This whole shebang seems like something out of an episode of Seinfeld. All that's missing are George and Jerry's observations to make the audience roll with laughter. What have you become, Mr. Seinfeld?
By anonymous, on April 22, 2011 02:45:06
How could anybody like this America-bashing fake English wanna be who now decides she should be a country music star? If she ever gets a country award, I'm gonna start listening to hard rap. I truly cannot stand this spoiled bitch.
By anonymous, on April 22, 2011 03:55:29
Limousine ??Republicans ??? knowing the words to violent rap songs while consuming pate This may be be one of the 7 signs of the apocalypse
By Billy Rubin, on April 22, 2011 07:44:02
Man Todd, feel envy much?
By anonymous, on April 22, 2011 09:20:36
21, Veronica - I bow to your genius. Brilliant! (I love you!)
By anonymous, on April 22, 2011 11:37:32
Really?... A woman who can act, sing, has social grace, is a mother, wife, friend , is attractive and can cook like jack the bear??? Hello...what exactly is it about YOURSELF that you hate so much?
By anonymous, on May 7, 2011 00:09:01
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