Angelina Jolie has addressed her relationship with Brad Pitt publicly for the first time on the show Inside the Actors Studio, set to air in America on June 5. Jolie talks about their experience on Mr. And Mrs. Smith and her affection for Pitt. She says "We became very competitive, aggressive. Everything escalated into these huge fight scenes. It was great to work with him. He's a great actor. He's also a really great guy. I didn't know what to expect in meeting him. He's extremely down to earth, goofy and funny and very good."

I still have one of those original Tomb Raider movie posters with Angelina in the black shorts. And since that's about the same time I was going through puberty, that thing has more sentimental value than my parents. And not just cause of the long braids and fake breasts they gave her, but because her ass is so hard I heard it brought a teenager with cancer back to life one time. True story.

Media hype for the second season of the worlds least relatable show - HBO's Entourage - has begun, with the "comedy" set to open year 2 on June 5. God as my witness, if I read one more empty headed review where I'm told that watching this show is just like hanging out with my friends, I'm going to the roof with a bottle of SoCo, an AK and extra clips. Yeah, that show really brings me back to that time me and my buddies banged a bunch of Playmates while eating lobster in my Olympic size pool in my Hollywood mansion. Oh, wait, which time?

The three leads are likable enough, I guess. And Samarie Armstrong is cute, although it's hard to tell by the pictures below. None of which changes the fact that I'd rather watch a video of a colonoscopy in my cancerous anus then another episode of that show. Probably laugh more too.

I realize this was already covered in our post Saturday but the sheer insanity of the idea demanded a follow-up in the desperate hope that maybe we just misread the initial reports. Umm ... we didn't. Several outlets ran the story, including Sky News and Ananova :

"Billy (Zane) has decided that he rather fancies being the US President - and wants Kelly (Brook) by his side in the White House. An exec on Billy's new movie ... told the Daily Mirror ... 'When he first discussed standing for President, everyone thought Billy was having a laugh. But he explained that he'd looked into funding.'"

I've said some fairly remarkable stuff while trying to trick girls, but it's usually unprovable stuff like I'm a top secret rocket ship pilot or I invented the panda bear. Or, yeah, you're so right, Crissy is a bitch and she totally wants to keep you from making the squad. But promising to make a girl the most powerful woman on earth seems a tad ambitious, I don't care how big her tits are. Actually ... umm, that's not true. I very much do care how big her tits are.

Dark Horizons is reporting that "Tom Cruise's new girlfriend Katie Holmes is being tipped to play the actor's love interest in the third installment of 'Mission Impossible'. Scarlett Johansson was previously attached to an earlier script version, and this week teen actress Lindsay Lohan said she was very keen on grabbing the part. Now, according to the New York Post - insiders say the 'Batman Begins' and 'Dawson's Creek' star "will step up as the leading lady".

It's always a solid idea to make plans for a year from now with a girl you've dated for ten minutes, and I highly recommend it. Cause, you know, what could possibly go wrong? In other news, didn't Katie Holmes used to have a great rack? And not be pregnant? Oooo, this site's provocative!



update - Those questions were rhetorical by the way. Katie absolutely used to have a great rack - (NSFW proof). I swear it becomes more clear to me everyday that I have absolutely no idea how the female body works.

According to a report in Glamour UK, Revenge of the Sith star Hayden Christensen may be ready to walk away from Hollywood to study architecture. "I don't find Hollywood interesting, so I'm thinking about studying architecture instead," explains Hayden. "A film is a product and as an actor you can only sell it if you sell yourself. You don't get to sit at the table before you're ready to give away your integrity. Maybe it works for Orlando Bloom. It doesn't work for me."

It's obviously totally awesome that Hayden would take a shot out of nowhere on the sexually ambiguous and confusingly popular Orlando Bloom, but Hayden better realize that most architects don't get to punch the kitty of Eva Longoria. Trust me. Based on my Lego version of Krista Allen, I'm a highly advanced architect, and Eva has yet to have sex with me. Even though I waited outside her house for hours one time. Until the cops arrived and told me to put my shirt back on. And that I better get a mop and clean that up.

This won't really help the public sentiment that the Katie Holmes-Tom Cruise romance is just for show, but a report in the New York Daily News asks the question, "Was Katie Holmes Tom Cruise's top choice for arm candy? One rumor doing the Hollywood Hills cocktail circuit is that young Miss Holmes was not the first photogenic virgin-type to be auditioned for the part of the girlfriend. "Before Katie, he was interested in Kate Bosworth," says a snitch. But the actress, who is Orlando Bloom's on-and-off gal pal, apparently did not reciprocate the feelings."

I've always been a little worried that the red-hot primal sexuality I'm packin would be a deal breaker to the torrid affair between me and Kate Bosworth. She's been dating that little weenie Orlando Bloom for so long, a Cadillac of men like myself might be a little intimidating. And if Tom Cruise was too much for her, I may have to tone things down. Normally I dress like Patton, with an ivory handled pistol and riding chaps, randomly calling people 'yella' and ordering them back to the front, but I may just go with a more romantic cape and sword outfit from now on.

Nick Lachey came one step closer to selling oranges on the side of the freeway today, as Jessica Simpson has filed for divorce. E! Online "has confirmed that Simpson filed for divorce Tuesday in Los Angeles Superior Court, citing irreconcilable differences as the reason for the end of her two-and-a-half-year marriage to Lachey."

This comes after months of rumors that Jessica has strayed with Johnny Knoxville among others, but just one day after their televised USO concert and just a few hours since these pictures of the couple on a trip to Hawaii surfaced. This should be wildly unsurprising. I'm an accredited body language expert, and Jessica doesn't look real thrilled to be with Nick. Which is hard to believe, cause he was in 98 Degrees ya know. Oh, that's right, 98 Degrees.



Much love to Allie for the quick heads-up.

update - Well it took about 30 seconds for E! to pull the story off their website, but the quote above is verbatim from their previous post. More updates as they come.

sexy new update - US Online is now reporting that E! was forced to pull their story after a denial and a threat by Simpson. "It is completely false and we would sue them if they hadn't taken it down," said Simpson. Here is a screencap of the story that E! was reporting just 30 minutes ago. Damn you Allie!

There's about a billion reasons to hate movie critics, but lists like this are as good a reason as any. No Shawshank or Braveheart, no Fight Club or Heat, no Usual Suspects or Way of the Gun, just a bunch of insane Wicca art house ramblings and French socialist propaganda. I haven't seen most of these because I was negative 80 years old when they came out and my Blockbuster doesn't have a time machine, but I'm pretty sure they're all crap because the same people who say they like movies like this will also tell you that a teddy bear stuffed with dogshit is the only true art, and screw you if you're too uncivilized to understand that.

Note - Okay, fine, I'm the only one who likes the Way of the Gun.