The New York Daily News says that the long denied romance between Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn is gonna need another round of denials after the two were seen pawing all over each other at the Wednesday night wrap party for their movie The Break Up. A source says:

(they had their) arms around each other. Then they were dancing. Then they were 'I-want-to-rip-your-clothes-off' dancing. Then they were straight making out."

As this drags on, it really does seem like Vince is getting the better end of the deal. While Brad is getting chased by ghost tigers in a haunted jungle, Vince is playing Texas-hold-em at the Hard Rock. A good day with Angelina is when cannibals don't hit you with a boomerang and put you in a pot. A good day with Jenn is throwing a frisbee to a girl with a body like Wonder Woman. Maybe its just cause I'm so filled with the American spirit, but I think I would choose Vegas, frisbee in the park and a pillow that doesn't walk away. Because it's a goat. Thanks anyway though.

Jenny here with a couple quick links:

I never thought of Johnny Depp as any sort of "metrosexual" but apparently he has girly hands. I'll let this one slide since most of the time he looks like he smells like an ashtray, but is still completely F-able even when he's dressed as a filthy, drunken pirate. Did I say "even"? I meant to say "especially".

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Dave Grohl says he didn't have sex with Christina Aguilera because he was married and she was too young. I hope Dave is kicking himself over this one because I'm quite sure Christina's talents rivaled those of Jenna Jameson even when she was barely legal. If so, Christina should definitely prove it. On video. With Jenna.

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I wish I was a famous movie star like Bill Murray so I could get away with threatening to knife people if they didn't shut up and get off the phone. My restaurant and movie theater experiences would be so pleasant. And I'd totally gain street cred. Thanks Paul.

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These should put those "Tom Cruise is gay" rumors to rest once and for all.

Just so you know, if you're ever Jessica Simpson's Secret Santa, don't bother getting her a pair of white silk panties with flowers on them. Cause she's already got those. Oh, and also, she doesn't need a gift certificate for a Brazilian wax either. She's good there too. But don't get discouraged, cause being Jessica Simpson's Secret Santa is a lot harder than most people would ever imagine. Last year I just ended up getting her a figurine of Jesus playing soccer with some kids. She said she really liked it, but now I think she was just being polite, cause I never see it when I go over there.

Radar Online is posting an email this morning from celebrity attorney Marcy Morris demanding that the magazine stop plans to print an article about Cameron Diaz and her well known rep for being an idiot with horrible skin frugal.

Some of the highlights from Radar's upcoming story that the email demands not be printed:

1. That Cameron Diaz has a habit of using her star power to leverage free rides on jets and discounts at trendy clothing stores, and that when people don't give in she refuses to have anything more to do with the companies.
2. That Ms. Diaz constantly tries to pay the lowest possible salaries for her employees and retainers.
3. That after MTV cancelled [her MTV show] "Trippin", Ms. Diaz gave them a bill for expenses that included her personal trainer, hairdresser, make up artist, and extra hotel fees but then, when asked to show the receipts, she threatened to sue.

It's obviously awesome that Cameron's dumb little show was about rolling around in the mud in third world nightmares where alien like diseases are the number one export and "ham" on a menu is simply a space saving way to write "hamster". And then the cameras shut down and Cameron runs back to her palatial resort and racks up million dollar tabs for hairdressers and make up artists before doing her voice over to lecture the rest of us about how we should live like raccoons. Because she saw a pygmy wearing a gorilla head as a hat doing it on her vacation. Her vacation from sitting courtside at Lakers games, surfing in Malibu and banging a beautiful boy bander. Either Cameron is blissfully ignorant to the fact that that she's an insufferable hypocrite, or she knows and simply doesn't care. And neither one of those is good.

I dare any of you to present an expense report to your boss with absolutely no documentation or receipts. I dare you. Not only will you be fired, you'll be dragged to the desert and buried alive in a casket filled with scorpions. And you'll deserve it.

Hilary Duff says she's looking forward to shedding her image and playing quirkier, more offbeat roles as she gets older. The former Lizzie McGuire star turns 18 soon and admits to MTV.com she knows she will have to ease into roles that are not so squeaky clean.

This is a business and you have to give people what they want to see. It's the smartest thing."

I guess focus groups decided that what they wanted to see was Hillary in a black wig and looking as if she was going to the organic coffee house to read some crappy Goth poetry. But it's easy for Hillary to second guess her choices to seem more adult now. Just a few months ago I made a very exclusive offer to star in a hardcore sex tape with Krista Allen. And she didn't come right out and say, but it's obvious she regrets saying no to that one. I told you just to chill out baby and let your lust take over. But you had to be all stuck up. Well, who's sorry now Krista. Who's sorry now.

Please believe me when I tell you that I had no intention of posting any more Tara Reid pictures, but she appears to have put on 40 pounds overnight. The boys at NASA think it might be all the semen, and all the early data leads me to believe they're right. And also our 'no more Tara Reid' policy didn't anticipate her wearing those boots. According to those boots, she should have a seagull on her head, although I can't explain why exactly. It's pretty technical. Rest assured that if you wear boots like this and you're not Japanese and pigtailed and 10, I will make fun of you. I'll also probably throw a rock at you. So if you're wearing those boots and you suddenly feel a pop and then notice your ear is bleeding, hey, look, over here! It's me! From that website! Hi!

Milla Jovovich - who is still the worlds richest model by the way - is in her homeland of the Ukraine this week to establish a charity to help Ukrainian children, disabled children in particular. Her first donation was evaluated at $80,000. According to the actress, the foundation will work with a variety of charity programs to support children during their vacations in the international resort camp of Artek, and "to help all Ukrainian children in general."

Piles of money from a super hot actress is a good start, but what those little Ukrainian kids really need is a copy of my Ultimate 90's Mix CD. They'll dance away their hunger to the greatest pop hits of the decade. Tag Team, The Proclaimers, EMF - they're all here, in one amazing collection!

I still haven't given up my childhood dream jobs of Playboy photographer, ice cream taster or outer space pirate, but I might add "rock drummer" to that list too. Because apparently, no matter how many times you do lines of coke off the tits of a model you've just punched out, you still have a shot at hotties like Eva Longoria. This summary, courtesy of Mark over on Hotel Chatter:

Last week, while Eva Longoria was in New York taping a Conan appearance, she stayed at the Ritz Carlton New York, Central Park. Tommy Lee was also a guest on the very same Conan show, and somehow worked his tattoo magic to not only lick Eva's face on air, but also get himself invited back to her hotel room to party ... with other guests ... we hope. According to reports, Tommy didn't leave until 3:30am, which is when the party ended ... we are sure.

It's fun to pretend that Eva Longoria isn't dumb enough to bang Tommy Lee, but that dude's penis is like a pit bull with a biting problem, and it's been on an unstoppable rampage for 20 years now. It may be overly optimistic to think Eva could stop it. Especially since his penis is about three inches taller than Eva, and outweighs her by at least 20 pounds. It would be like a tree limb fell on her, her arms and legs sexily flailing around under the weight, pinned beneath it, reaching for anything solid to pull herself free.

So wear black today, I guess is what I'm saying.

Images removed per request.