• Angelina Jolie for mother of the year [Hollywood Tuna]
  
• Have the Beckhams found Scientology? [A Socialite's Life]
• David Gest scares children [CityRag]
• Lindsay Lohan music video [Egotastic]
• Introducing: Pink Hart [Perez Hilton]
  
• Brad Pitt looks the dapper gent [Just Jared]
  

In case any of you were wondering, Jon Bon Jovi is still alive and has figured out how to get his name mentioned again. He criticised Madonna for allowing her children to be photographed and for bringing them to movie premieres. This article indicates that Jon thinks that he is Super-Daddy because nobody has ever seen his four children, even though he has been in the industry for 22 years. What he fails to take into consideration is that people just barely give a crap about him, much less his four children and even though people love to hate Madonna, they still drain their bank accounts to attend her sold out shows every time she goes on tour.

Jon didn't say he'd report Madonna to CPS for child abuse if she made her kids watch Truth or Dare, Swept Away, Body of Evidence or any other of her masterpieces I overlooked. But it won't be necessary since they're not even allowed to to watch television and they won't be seeing Mummy naked and humping everything until their shackles and blindfolds are removed and they're able to socialize with normal people.

Madonna's response to Mr. Bon Jovi's accusations was as follows:

Madonna has never brought her children to a movie premiere. He can rest assured (Madonna's) kids are cherished, adored, well fed, respected and are extremely loved and well protected by their parents."

I think she should have added, "You're not wanted dead or alive and we don't want to lay our hands on you, so stop asking."

Pictured below is Madonna and her broach/headband/face holder on-er thing at the premiere of her new documentary I'm Going To Tell You A Secret.



Related entries:
Madonna is a mean mommy

Fresh from the files of "I'm not as tough as I want you to think I am", Page Six is reporting:

New York magazine music editor Ethan Brown investigates the shooting of 50 in June 2000 in his book Queens Reighns Supreme: Fat Cat, 50 Cent, and the Rise of the Hip Hop Hustler."

Mr. Brown reveals in said book that the tough guy who shot 50 Cent is fellow artist Darryl "Hommo" Baum, who was himself fatally gunned down just three weeks later. Further, the book with the excessively long title says that 50 Cent is a big stinky liar when he claims that "Hommo" was killed in retaliation for his wounding. It seems that "Hommo" was actually killed because a fellow gang member killed one of the Cash Money Brothers crew.

Call me crazy, but wasn't the "Cash Money Brothers" the name of Wesley Snipes's drug cartel in New Jack City? It's disappointing to learn that so little orginal thought and imagination went into naming their gang. But it's nice to know that someone so hardcore gangsta' is comfortable enough with their own sexuality to choose "Hommo" for their nickname. Back when I was bangin', I was involved in a deadly knife fight when my gang, the Jets, had a rumble with our cross-town rivals, the Sharks. I didn't like the way one of those Sharks was doing her jazz-hands, so I knifed her 9 times. She didn't die, but I wish she would have. That Omarosa is one unkillable broad.

Related entries:
50 Cent is tired

The New York Post claims Janet Jackson has an 18 year old daughter. Janet Jackson married James DeBarge when she was 18. They were only married for about a year until their marriage was annulled, but Janet allegedly gave birth to a daughter during that time. Janet's former brother in law, Young DeBarge, told Hot 97 on Friday that Janet's daughter lives with Rebbie Jackson, Janet's oldest sister.

"James and the Jackson family kept everything real close, real tight," Young DeBarge said. "No one really knew how it was working out until things kind of surfaced."

Janet Jackson's rep Patti Webster didn't deny the claim yesterday, only saying the singer didn't wish to comment. And the young woman is not happy about her star mom's refusal to acknowledge her, the uncle said.

"I think there's a little despondence," DeBarge said when asked about Renee's feelings for Jackson. She hasn't really revealed that, but I'm sure that there's some feelings there. It's only natural that you wonder about what is and how it's come to be that way."

The Jacksons are some of the most insane people who ever walked the Earth. Joe and Katherine's psycho genes have managed to embed themselves in several generations of Jacksons. It would be awesome if someone was able to plant cameras in every Jackson home to see how much worse they are when they think humans aren't watching them. I imagine, like in the movie Cocoon, they peel off their skin so they can hang out as their normal alien selves except they're not cute or nice like the aliens in Cocoon. The Jackson aliens have teeth like great white sharks, walk on all fours and eat little brown boys that Michael hunts and captures for them. If we could only train them to eat their own young, then the world would be a lot safer.

Various reports are saying Angelina Jolie stormed off the set of Beowulf when she found out her co-star, Ray Winstone, leaked the news that Angelina and Brad Pitt are engaged to be married. She is refusing to return to the set until Winstone apologizes.

It's left poor Robert Zemeckis (director) in an awful position. 'Most of Angelina and Ray's scenes also feature Anthony Hopkins, John Malkovich and Crispin Glover, so Robert risks losing these big names unless he reconciles the feuding pair.'

An insider claims the 'Tomb Raider' star is furious because she and Brad weren't ready to go public with their plans. The source said: 'They weren't ready to announce their wedding plans. They had hired Tom Cruise's ex-PR guru Pat Kingsley to improve their love-rat reputations before they went public. So the film's on hold until Angelina and Ray settles their differences. They're both so stubborn no one knows who'll win.'"

Angelina is one of the few people in Hollywood who can get away with this crap and she may even manage to get this gossipy Ray guy fired from the movie if she really wants. Her hotness is that powerful. I've had a few spats with my life size Angelina poster(s). Each time I've said something that made her mad, the house would shake and steak knives would shoot out of the drawer and fly across the room ... then she would withhold sex. So my best advice would be to stay on Angie's good side because life is much sweeter when she's happy.

Related entries:
Angelina Jolie loves deviant sex with Brad Pitt
Angelina loves Brad
Angelina Jolie is unrated

• Paris Hilton rides with Stavros Niarchos [A Socialite's Life]
  
• "Get off the damn shed!" SNL sketch [Gorilla Mask]
• Bless you Rachel Stevens [Hollywood Tuna]
• Sex would be safe since this girl is made of rubber [College Humor]
• Buy Britney Spears thong [CityRag]
• Gwyneth Paltrow shows her proof [Egotastic]
• Wentworth Miller has sleight of hand [Just Jared]
• Cam'ron almost gets carjacked [thanks, Nick]

Jessica Alba says she has a soft spot for men who are traditional and chivalrous. She says her boyfriend, Cash Warren, has those qualities which is what swept her off her feet.

He is very smart and respectful. Guys should treat women with respect. I am still lady-like and feminine, but unfortunately a lot of men have lost their sense of chivalry. I like a man to open doors and offer to pay. But by no means do I need him to pay for things or tell what I should or shouldn't do. I wouldn't like that. I'll have the children and be a wife, but I'm also going to work."

I'm amazed Cash Warren is able to concentrate on things like opening car doors when he's following this ass around everywhere. Me, I'm not as high maintenance as Jessica Alba. Sure, I think it's great when guys do those gallant things, but I don't expect it from them. I'm most impressed by the ones who don't pull out too many strands of hair when they drag me by it to the bedroom and I really like the ones who try to aim stuff away from my eyes. I'm pretty easy going that way.

These pictures of Jessica are from over the weekend. I'm sure many of you will be disappointed by her fully clothedness, but perhaps you could write her a letter and suggest that cold New York weather is no excuse not to wear a bikini while walking your dog. Take one for the team, Jess.



Related entries:
Jessica Alba's boobs are bigger
Jessica Alba is revealing
Jessica Alba in Mexico

My services are needed in Los Angeles today, so I can't post for you guys. Trust me, it hurts you more than it hurts me. No, I meant that the other way around. Seriously. Anyway, in my absence, feel free to check out these Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes pictures from the set of Mission Impossible 3 and wonder what is so funny besides the fact that they've managed to convince some people that they're really in love and Tom Cruise has sex with Katie Holmes.

I've also updated "I don't like links in that way" with fresh links, so check those out as well.