Pamela Anderson is the best 'Soccer Mom' ever. She's her sons' secret weapon during soccer games. Everyone on her kids' teams is used to seeing her around, but the boys on the opposing teams probably have a pretty hard time concentrating when she's strutting around on the sidelines. From the looks of these pictures, the people on the sideline don't seem to notice there's a game going on either. It's really nice of her to help by shagging the stray soccer balls, but storing them in her shirt is not necessary. These fanatical sports moms and dads really need to learn where to draw the line.

In other news, Pamela Anderson is dating Sugar Ray frontman, Mark McGrath. He's now the pretty boy host of Extra, but his best work to date was as one of the stars of the porn movie, Backstage Sluts 2 (NSFW). Why he never wants to talk about that movie, I don't know. Some people are very modest when it comes to discussing their accomplishments.

This is Britney on November 15th and that is Federline yesterday in New York. I usually try to wait around for the high quality versions of pictures before I post them, but the Spears-Federlines make that process too difficult. Their looks are ever-changing and every day seems to be worse than the day before. The hardest part about keeping up with these two is finding new things to say about them that haven't already been said over and over again. So I'm just going to make this one short and sweet.


You need a bra.



You're white.



The end.

Star Magazine is reporting that Paris Hilton's idiot boyfriend, Stavros Niarchos (or "Starving Nachos", as he's affectionately known in the Blogosphere) has dumped Paris Hilton.

"They broke up Nov. 13. Stavros told Paris that things are out of control and he's through with the drama. He said to her, 'I need time to reflect. I should have been home today studying, instead I am here paying $100,000 worth of bills.'"

However, Paris' rep denies they've split and denies Stavros wrecked his hotel room, telling Star People, "The two of them are doing great. Stavros seems to be totally in love with her."

The fact that Paris Hilton's publicist is denying the breakup and denying the fact that they trashed that hotel room in my fair city is enough for me to believe this story is true. Because publicists are the incarnation of the devil. Well, not all of them. Just the ones who represent media whores like Paris Hilton. And Tom Cruise. And Terrell Owens. And that creepy Burger King King. In case you missed that hotel room trashing story, you can read about it and see the pictures of the room here.

Furthermore, to knock this out in one post ... It turns out "Baby Luv" (barf), that kinkajou Paris has been toting around lately, is illegal to have in Los Angeles, so she's in trouble with the California Department of Fish and Game.


Thanks to James and Nate for the heads up.

• Madonna in trouble for plagiarism [E! Online]
• Elizabeth Hurley topless again [A Socialite's Life]
• "Ouch" doesn't do this one justice (video) [College Humor]
• Jessica Biel is one "hard" woman [Hollywood Tuna]
• Joaquin Phoenix is GQ's line walker [Just Jared]
• Rosario Dawson and those Rent reviews [Egotastic]
• Brad's Mystery ring revealed [Perez Hilton]
• ANTM funny [City Rag]
• Gayest. Skateboarder. Ever. (video) [Smit Happens]
• Tommy Lee hooked on strip clubs and Absinth [Hollywood Rag]
• Nicole Richie eating? [Popsugar]
  
• Cheaters never win ... unless your movie sucks [Pajiba]
• Jessica Simpson dumped by her publicist [Gawker]

Interestingly, we hear Cafarelli's final straw was utter exhaustion, the sort that comes from pretending, for the benefit of the press, that Simpson's marriage to Nick Lachey isn't a total sham. Much like the rest of us, Cafarelli had had enough."

As many of you may already know, Jennifer Aniston was named "Man of the Year" in this year's annual GQ special issue.

Jennifer Aniston earned the honor because the magazine said she showed a lot of poise, grace and good humor during her breakup with Brad Pitt this year. The couple's divorce was granted last month after four years of marriage.

This reminds me of that famous Chris Rock bit. Why is Jennifer getting credit for something she's "supposed to do"? She "showed a lot of poise"? Is Hollywood really so saturated with temper tantrum throwing morons with no self control that people deserve a special honor when they don't behave like infantile assclowns? Okay, I answered my own question there. Never mind.

Here are the high quality scans from that issue of GQ for your boobie and rib cage gazing pleasure.

Jake Gyllenhaal is pictured here on the set of Zodiac, which is due out in 2006 and directed by the always great David Fincher.

From IMDb:

Based on the Robert Graysmith book of the same name, Zodiac is about the notorious serial killer who haunted San Francisco during the 1970's. Leaving a series of puzzling clues and letters on the trail, he was never officially caught while leaving several victims in his wake. A killer without a known identity, this is the story of what is now the notorious legend that to this day, remains one of San Francisco's most infamous unsolved crimes."

Chloe Sevigny will be playing Jake's girlfriend in this movie. I've always found her oddly attractive, but only in that seeing her through your just opened, watery eyes after rubbing them too long sort of way. There's no word yet on whether or not she'll be participating in another fellatio scene in this one, but 7 out 10 fingers are crossed. I'm just happy Kirsten Dunst is nowhere to be found in this movie or in these pictures with Gyllenhaal. Any day without Dunst is a good day, and so far it's just peachy.

When I read that the people in charge of being in charge of casting the yet to be cast, was almost cast, but keeps changing casts, I Dream of Jeannie, decided not to cast Jessica Simpson as "Jeannie", I thought this movie just may have a chance. Then I read today that they might stick Lindsay Lohan in her place. That's like trading in your AMC Pacer for an AMC Gremlin. Same make, slightly different model.

Let's just let Lindsay concentrate on one thing at a time which at this point is pretending to be a singer. And to prove how serious she is about singing, she was an invited guest on the prestigious MTV "Total Request Live" show a few days ago, and that's where she was headed in the pictures below.

• Brad and Maddox [Popsugar]
• Christina Aguilera flies to wedding [Just Jared]
• The Al Reynolds doll [City Rag]
• This Olsen Twins picture is just wrong [Hollywood Tuna]
• Kimberly Stewart with Talan's rock (barf!) [Hollywood Rag]
• If you didn't think Nicole Richie was skinny before [A Socialite's Life]
• I heart Sarah Silverman [Egotastic]
  
• Paris Hilton is a liar [Perez Hilton]
• The many uses of the F word (video) [Smit Happens]

Our friends from Belgium at ZatteVrienden have told us about a contest going on between two former Playmates called "Battle of the Dutch Playmates", and one of the Playmates would like our help. So when a Playmate asks, we shall deliver because naked girls usually get what they want. This is Katja Schuurman, and Katja needs people to hit her site because every hit counts as a vote and the more votes she gets the happier she is. And the happier she is ... well you take it from here.

[Pictures are NSFW]