Uma Thurman insists that she will never again appear naked in a film, because her only nude scene on film, in Dangerous Liaisons, was too traumatic. The actress told Britain's Esquire magazine:

I felt some trepidation going in, but it was an art movie. It was based on this classic novel set in eighteenth-century France, and the scene was appropriate. When 'Dangerous Liaisons' came out, the scene was sensationalist in this really creepy, voyeuristic way. It made it seem out of character and it didn't make sense to me... I certainly didn't want to become a sensational sex symbol."

Ummm....okay, so you didn't. You really didn't. I may have a higher standard of beauty because I look in the mirror every day, but Uma Thurman looks like Daryl Hannah with Down syndrome. If she does or doesn't want to get naked is between her and plastic surgeon, but based on what I saw in Kill Bill, if she could throw some socks on that would be great.

Uma on the set of My Super Ex-Girlfriend:

Due to poor ratings and public outcry, NBC has pulled the plug on the controversial show Book of Daniel. The main character is Daniel Webster, a drug addicted Episcopal priest whose wife depends heavily on her mid-day martinis. Webster regularly sees and talks with a very unconventional white robed, bearded Jesus. The Webster family is rounded out by a 23 year old homosexual, Republican son, a 16-year-old daughter who is a drug dealer, and a 16 year old adopted son who is having sex with the bishop's daughter. At the office, his lesbian secretary is sleeping with his sister-in-law.

Anything considered "edgy" and "controversial" will always cause a large majority of society to set themselves on fire in protest when they could have just as easily changed the channel. But damn, the writers laid it on a bit thick didn't they? I'm surprised they didn't make the family dog a pre-op transsexual serial killer, or the grandmother a cannibal with lung cancer. If cost of production was an issue, they should have shown a live feed of people taking turns pissing on a bible instead, and saved at least 15% or more.

On the topic of drunk women - here are a sloshed Jessica Simpson and her big, red, collagen injected trout mouth out partying a few nights ago.

After posing for pictures dry-humping at the Golden Globes, Jamie Foxx and Eva Longoria are denying rumors that they are an item. The pair are insisting they are just friends since they met on the set of his music video. Foxx states that he was only looking after Longoria as a favor to Tony Parker.

I told Tony I would look after her. That's it."

Tony Parker may need to hire professionals to walk Eva around with a stick collar every time she goes out. I don't know if they make muzzles for vaginas or not, but that's an idea he may want to jot down. Because if Jamie Foxx is the best protection he can find, then he might as well start auditioning his other friends for the gang bang. Foxx may be an okay actor, but if he takes my girlfriend to a funeral I'm checking her inner thighs for bruises the minute she gets home.

Today's Brad and Angelina baby news is that their baby is a girl. No, not twins. No, not a boy. Just one girl. Executive editor, Joe Bargmann, of Life & Style Weekly told the National Ledger today that they are set to publish a story disclosing the sex of Brad and Angie's baby. Bargmann told the National Ledger,

A tip came in from a reader of the magazine that Brad Pitt's sister Julie (Pitt) Neal was doing a little baby clothes shopping in Springfield, Mo."

After they received this tip, Life & Style dispatched a reporter to Springfield to investigate. They returned with the following story:

A friend of Brad's sis Julie spoke with her at a church meeting. The pair spoke about her recent purchases at 'Jellybeans,' a children's clothing boutique in the southern Missouri town. Apparently sis was buying some baby clothes for a girl. And then sis let the news slip: "I'm shopping for Brad's baby girl," an insider says Neal told the storeowners of Jellybeans, a children's clothing boutique in Springfield, Mo., Brad's hometown. Julie made it very clear that it was not Zahara she was shopping for but rather "for the little girl that Angelina's going to have."

Man, those church ladies love to gossip. Sinners. In other news, Brad and Angie left for Zurich today after a quick visit to London. They stayed at a fancy London hotel called "Claridges" on Tuesday night. Angie stayed at the hotel while Brad went out to dinner with Madonna and Guy Ritchie. There's no word on whether or not they swung by Madame Tussauds wax museum to check out their latest modification of Brad Pitt's statue, so I'll just post the pictures of it in case he missed it. The pictures of me french kissing the statue and climbing up to straddle its face aren't here because that film was confiscated when I was arrested. It turns out the people at Madame Tussauds don't have the easy going sense of humor I thought they did. Prudes.

• Kidman and Urban still going strong [Popsugar]
• Paris Hilton meets her match [Hollywood Rag]
• Celebrities are just like Sea-Monkeys [City Rag]
  
• Sienna Miller and Hayden Christensen dating? [Egotastic]
• Mischa's not the only one with bad taste [Hollywood Tuna]
• Pink picks on stupid girls [Just Jared]
• Mariah Carey in V Magazine [A Socialite's Life]
• Disney forks over $7.4 billion for Pixar [Jossip]
• SNL "Lazy Sunday": Chronicles of Narnia rap [Gorilla Mask]
  

British beauty Kelly Brook regrets becoming a topless model and says she only did it to succeed as an actress. Engaged to actor Billy Zane, Brook tried and failed to become an actress in her late teens and started modeling to "pay the bills". She tells Britain's Saturday Times:

I would have loved to have stepped straight out of school into a Disney movie. That wasn't my path, for whatever reason. Topless modelling ultimately makes becoming an actress harder, it doesn't really serve. But it's a short cut. It pays your bills. You get exposure. It gets you in the door."

Kelly Brook is one of the hottest women on the entire planet, and I'm here to tell her that she would never translate well in a Disney movie. Why? Because her body was made to be naked. To be more specific, naked all the time. Which is one of the reasons I don't understand the whole Billy Zane thing. Sure, he looked like a young Marlon Brando about ten years and thirty pounds ago, but please explain to me what he has done to deserve to roll off this every night. And please don't say Titanic. A totem pole in a tuxedo could have played his part and we would have never noticed.

Brook and Zane at the premiere of Bloodrayne on January 4th:

Despite swirling rumors all weekend about a possible Friends reunion, Access Hollywood has learned from NBC that these are completely false. According to published reports, all six stars had agreed to multi-million dollar deals to star in four one hour episodes. There was also speculation of a spinoff, It's A Guy Thing, that would include only the male leads: David Schwimmer, Matthew Perry, and Matt LeBlanc.

"Not one ounce of truth," Jeff Zucker, CEO of NBC Universal Television Group, told Access of the rumors.

We all know that Access Hollywood never ever makes stuff up, so when the NBC source who originally leaked this this story is found with a plastic bag over her head and the letters 'NBC' carved in her chest, don't be surprised.

Matthew Perry leaving the gym earlier this month:

The Sun UK reported over the weekend that a source close to Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt says the couple are planning to get married around Valentine's Day.

It will be very soon - in the next few weeks and at their Malibu home," says our spy. "There won't be many guests - it's strictly close friends and family."

So, who's this source person who's always telling on them? I think it's probably one person who manages to spy on all the A-listers at once since the quotes always sound the same. I like to think it's some little superhero type who wears a little superhero costume. "Super Snitch." He stands about 12 inches tall, but his pink tights and yellow, flowing cape with the big "SS" on it make him feel taller. Cut him some slack, people. It's not easy being 12 inches tall, but his height is an advantage when he's sneaking around and spying on famous people. If you need to make fun of something, make fun of those stupid pink tights. At least he can change those.

Here are some pictures of Angelina on the set of The Good Shepherd: