In 1994, Macaulay Culkin abruptly disappeared from Hollywood due to the very public custody battle between his parents over the kids and their money. Kip Culkin's, the children's father, hubristic management derailed a once promising career that commanded over $8 million a movie. During this time, reports of bizarre behavior and drug use were rampant, and last year Culkin was busted driving across Oklahoma in a car full of marijuana and unprescribed Xanax. So the former child star penned a cathartic stream of consciousness collection of journal entries, drawings, poems and letters called Junior.

Some excerpts include the following:

"Imaginary, not inflatable, women are okay."
"I cried about a steak sandwich one time."
"Did you know I have a pet name for my penis [Floyd]."
"Drink orange juice, because it's good for you."
"Sometimes I feel like a 3-foot-tall, poverty-stricken, homosexual, handicapped, 50-year-old Muslim woman with AIDS."
"I don't know what the word 'urban' means anymore."

I realize that Culkin had a difficult childhood, but the real crime here is he's charging $22.95 for this crap. If you know anybody who bought this book, light it on fire then throw it at them. It can be your good deed for the day. Just this morning, I caught a handicapped guy trying to park in a regular spot. Can you believe that? I didn't want to resort to violence, but he really left me no choice. Hey, no need to thank me, I just did what anybody law abiding citizen would have done.

Since he's about to marry Mila Kunis, here she is in Maxim a few years ago. And Cuthbert is a much hotter blonde than Culkin.

Kanye West and Pamela Anderson's relationship is the subject of much speculation after they were spotted being very intimate in a hotel in Los Angeles. The rapper was seen stroking the former Baywatch babe's ass at the Chateau Marmont Hotel. A source at People magazine said:

Kanye was standing in front of Pamela. He reached back and was cupping her butt with his hand. "She was leaning into him. They looked happy together."

I don't know Kanye West personally, but I hope he's had his shots this year. This may not work out when he gets her in bed, because I'm sure his penis will look like somebody about to get their head pushed in a wood chipper. She'd be laying there and Kanye would be running around the room holding onto his penis and fighting like he was trying to land a world class marlin.

Pamela Anderson walking around barefoot in Malibu on January 20th:

Repeating the same thing over and over again while squinting and convulsing is normally only a result of a central nervous system malfunction and/or a severe head injury, but K-Fed's PopoZao seems to have the same effect. Just ask the blood stain on my wall where I beat my head for five minutes the first time I watched this. He also manages somehow to make everything around him look more intelligent. That Coke can is so smart. It's almost as smart as K-Fed's girlish little ponytail. That thing is pure genius.

Thanks for the link, Shell!

Related entries:
K-Fed Will Hang Up On Yo' Ass
Kevin Federline is Official
Britney Spears is So Dang Spiritual

Star Magazine is claiming that Britney Spears has gained 20 pounds due to reports that husband Kevin Federline cheated on her with porn star Kendra Jade. The claim by the magazine is that Britney was down to 120 pounds in mid November and now she is dressing at a full 140 pounds according to the item. A family friend tells magazine:

It's like she's drowning her sorrows in food. She's turned into a human vacuum cleaner - gobbling down burgers, ice cream, chicken nuggets and Cheetos."

I remember a time not too long ago when the thought of Britney Spears as a human vacuum cleaner was a good thing. Now, not so much. In relation to a car, 140 pounds isn't all that heavy, but as far as Britney is concerned, she might as well be Shar Jackson. Sweeping crumbs off your face and spraying Febreeze on the sheets, doesn't make me ready for sex. It may, in fact, make me watch porn starring Kendra Jade.

Kendra's MySpace profile is full of annoying self-important bullshit like "I am not sane but I'm not crazy", "I hate rain", and "I am not one of those myspacers just trying to collect friends....I have a gazillion friends". Did you know the actual value of "gazillion" was 267? Me either. Man, I feel like a dumbass.

Here are Britney and some guy breaking down in K-Fed's Ferrari yesterday:

Supermodel Kate Moss will speak to British police as part of the investigation of her alleged cocaine use, but at this time no timetable has been set for the interview. The 31 year old model lost valuable contracts H&M, Burberry, and Chanel after Daily Mirror tabloid published pictures of her using cocaine in a London studio where then-boyfriend Pete Doherty was recording in September. The model's spokesman, Stuart Higgins, said Saturday that discussions have been held between police and the model's lawyers over the past two weeks.

"Kate has made it absolutely clear all along that she will cooperate with any police investigation when the necessary arrangements can be made," he said in a statement."

I use the phrase "alleged cocaine use" because that's what the article says, but if you have seen the video, it's obvious what Kate is doing. Man, it really must be great being a celebrity. Because the tape that was sent to my boss showing me snorting cocaine got me fired. Coincidentally, the cops came to my house the same day and arrested me. There was no "discussion" and no "arrangements" that had to be made. Except the one I had to make to get the top bunk. Despite what you might think, holding on to someone's back pocket is good if you're new to an area.

Kate Moss shooting a Rimmel ad in London:


Pete Doherty arriving at a court hearing January 11th:


Related entries:
Kate Moss is Sniffing Out Acting Roles

MSNBC is reporting that Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony have been doing "tons of shopping" for baby clothes lately. A source says:

He was at Fred Segal [on Melrose Ave. in Los Angeles] last week and bought a Guys Infant Gear diaper bag for $120," says a source. "He said something that made it pretty clear that it wasn't a gift - that he intended to use it - but I don't want to repeat it or he'll know who talked to you."

Okay, so, there is no way this rumor is true, because nothing as trivial as a baby could slow down this power hungry monster's attempt at world domination though crappy music and movies that no one wants to see. And if she really is having a baby, why in the hell would you want to reproduce with Marc Anthony? I may be picky, but I never thought Skeletor was all that attractive, even for a cartoon. Let's just hope this is a boy, because Skeletor with lipstick and a big ass doesn't do much for me either. To be honest, it does nothing at all.

Lopez on the set of her new movie on January 4th:

Willa Holland is the step-daughter of director Brian De Palma which was likely a contributing factor when she scored the role this season as "Kaitlin Cooper" on FOX's The O.C. From WillaHolland.com:

She can be sweet as a little girl, but also dangerous and much more self-possessed than her age would suggest."

IMDb says Willa is only 14 years old. Admittedly, I don't watch The O.C. because that would cut into my time of switching back and forth between porn and C-SPAN (don't ask), so I had no idea who this girl was until last night. Thankfully, ever-so awesome reader, Sarah, was cool enough to send me these screencaps of messages young Willa has left for her friends in various places on MySpace.com and a picture from her profile which has since been "set to private." As you can see from the messages, 14 year old Willa has an extensive vocabulary and a firm grasp of the English language ... not to mention a firm grasp of a bottle of Jack Daniels.


Oh, and don't forget to check out her boyfriend's band's MySpace profile. If you scroll down to their comments area there are pictures of Willa, her friend and the band's signatures all over the girls' 14 year old breasts. When the aspiring Banger Sister isn't boozing it up and racial slurring all over MySpace.com, you'll likely find her taking classes at the prestigious "St. Tara Reid School of the Holy Slutty Drunken Mess" where I hear she has straight A's in all of her classes.

Update: Homer sent in this link to Willa's boyfriend's MySpace profile where Willa has marked her territory several times.


Even juicier update: Katina and Anika from Live Journal (ohnotheydidnt) emailed me to let me know these screencaps were just a small part of a large investigation their out for blood detectives conducted yesterday here: ohnotheydidnt. The link also includes screencaps of email exchanges between Katina and FOX executives where they vehemently deny this girl is Willa.

I guess the FOX people overlooked the part where she calls herself Willa ...


Read all about it here. Thanks, Katina and Anika!

• Mariah Carey and Naomi Campbell in Paris [Hollywood Rag]
• Wentworth Miller on the loose [A Socialite's Life]
• Fergie bikini pictures [Hollywood Tuna]
• Lohan family fame [City Rag]
• Drew Barrymore lets it all hang out [Just Jared]
• Same old Paris [Popsugar]
• Janet Jackson: Fat as ever [Egotastic]
• Jude and Sienna = white trash [D Listed]
  
• Evangeline Lilly in Arena Magazine [Gorilla Mask]
• Shanna Moakler in Stuff Magazine [Smit Happens]
• Chuck Norris on Conan (video) [College Humor]
• "Paris Hilton's Logic + Kate Beckinsale's Ass" [Pajiba]