Chloe Sevigny and Bill Paxton star in a new HBO series called Big Love about a polygamist husband and his three wives. Paxton and Sevigny paid a visit to obnoxious snorefest, The View, yesterday to promote the show. Everything was running pretty smoothly until loudmouth, Joy Behar, brought up Chloe Sevigny's extremely graphic scene in Brown Bunny in which she performs oral sex on co-star, Vincent Gallo.

Though the actors masked their fury from viewers, Paxton is said to have exploded off-camera. According to one source, he even vowed never to appear on the show again. Sevigny has frequently discussed the scene from the controversial 2003 film, but Paxton apparently didn't want her to have to relive it on a daytime talk show. One insider notes, "The View" is "a show that is broadcast to housewives all over Middle America. [Oral sex] isn't the kind of thing you talk about."

Yeah, because as soon as you get married and have kids, any talk of sex is off limits. I hear our hormones and vaginas cease to exist, as do any desires for sexual activity. That's why you never hear stories about women's "sexual peaks" in our thirties and how we turn into insatiable, multiorgasmic horndogs. Before you go giving Chloe a hard time for blowing gross, trollish Vincent Gallo, you should watch that scene in Brown Bunny. In my sluttier days, I probably would have done him just to see what it was like. The dude is hung like a horse and his ugliness is the reason God invented the Reverse Cowgirl.

Chloe and Paxton February 23rd at the premiere of Big Love:

• Christina Aguilera leaves a club nice and wasted [Hollywood Rag]
• Tara Reid: Still a drunken ho [D Listed]
• Papa Joe Simpson and Donald Trump = sleazy daddies [City Rag]
  
• Natalie Portman thinks she's so smart [Egotastic]
• Lil' Kim's letter from behind bars [A Socialite's Life]
• Paris Hilton gets dissed by Vanity Fair [Popsugar]
• Matthew McConaughey pays a visit to TRL [Just Jared]
• Sharon Stone is one dorky looking soccer player [Hollywood Tuna]
• Steven Segal can't even act interested [College Humor]
• Bobby Brown's newest mugshot [TMZ]
• "Maybe Milla should return to her music career." (Ultraviolet) [Pajiba]
  

I'm really not one to knock breast implants because they are God's precious gifts from heaven, but Vivica's breast looks like Mike Tyson used it as a heavy bag. If you're a fan of Vivica A. Fox, the good news is, hey, side boob! As an added bonus, you get a closeup of her fabulous case of capsular contracture. Feel free to look as long as want. I'm gonna go vomit now.


Vivica at the Soul Train Music Awards March 4, 2006:


Vivica at the Soul Train Music Awards March 20, 2004:

Fresh off the renewal of her hit CBS drama Ghost Whisperer for a second season, Jennifer Love Hewitt has found love with guest star, Scottish actor Ross McCall. The couple went public with their new romance by making the rounds at several Oscar post-show parties this past weekend. Hewitt, who is rumored to be close to signing a deal to pose nude in Playboy, has been unlucky in love for years and has been linked with several Hollywood men over the course of her career.

I don't know much about this dude except he was recently in Green Street Hooligans and started his acting career by playing a young Freddy Mercury. So based on that, I'm hoping he is gay or he will be soon. I'm fine with either one. Having sex with Jennifer Love Hewitt has been the number one priority in life since 1995 because, let's be honest, her rack came out swinging on its first trip to the plate and has been hitting them out of the park ever since. The only thing worse than knowing that this dude gets to lick on her is knowing that Keven Federline is alive. Please, somebody hug me.


- News story collected from wire reports.

Lindsay Lohan told Cosmopolitan magazine that she would appear topless in a film only if she knew it meant that she would win an Oscar. The actress claims that she's already "OK with being topless in front of people" and has already flashed some boob.

Only two years ago, the mere thought of Lindsay Lohan naked would spill enough semen to make even Elton John and Jake Gyllenhaal push away from the table. Now, the only way to fit her naked, bony mess into a script is if it was about zombies or people who live in an attic. I'm not sure if anybody has explained this to Lindsay, but you don't get an Oscar just for being topless. Granted, it's probably hard enough to explain that the sun has been up for eight hours to a person who's walking around in one high heel, trying to wipe the coke off her face and wondering aloud why her anus hurts. She'll probably just think it was a long flash of lightning.

Lohan at the 14th Annual Elton John Oscar Viewing Party:

Apparently allowed to make some of her own decisions, Katie Holmes reportedly asked former Spice Girl, Victoria Beckham, to be with her when she goes into labor. Although they live in seperate countries - Victoria in Spain with soccer god David Beckham, and Katie in the U.S., locked in a glass cage in the dungeons of the Scientology headquarters - the pair spend at least thirty minutes each week discussing the birth.

Victoria and Katie have struck a real rapport ever since they were introduced by Tom and both of them are thrilled by the friendship. Victoria has become something of a mother hen to Katie, so when she was asked if she would be with her during the birth, she said yes straight away."

The only thing we can hope for is that Victoria will at least jazz up the whole Scientology birthing ritual that has been boring for far too long. She could bring in her Bedazzler for all those hooded robes or maybe talk them into using scented torches. You know, something funky and fun. She might even work in a song or two when Katie asks for something. "Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want..."

Posh Spice last month in Baqueira, Spain:

As much as I'd love to continue calling her a stumpy gutpacker, it appears as though there's new reason for Britney Spears' ever increasing waistline. She's a pregnant, stumpy gutpacker. Various reports from the wire, including Star Magazine and NY Daily News, are claiming Britney's been running around Hawaii, chomping on her gum, sucking on her Starbucks and yapping loudly about expecting another baby. Yes, my friends, apparently Federsperm has struck again and there will be yet another Federspawn coming soon. Of course this won't make things harder for Britney since the nanny does all the work. Britney makes really smart choices. She's like the people who play "beat the train" by crossing the tracks despite those red flashy lights, road blocks and loud alarms ringing. In this case the warnings come in the form of a white guy with cornrows, two other kids and PopoZao.

Britney in Hawaii over the weekend. They do make bras in her size, right?


I couldn't help but notice the scars under Britney's boobs in those pictures, so I cropped them and zoomed in on them. Mmm hmm.


Related entries:
Britney Spears is Hot
Britney Spears is Unsinkable
Britney Would Do Anything to Protect Him

The full theatrical trailer for X-Men: The Last Stand premiered last night on Fox, and I must say it looks phenomenal. Director, Brett Ratner, looks like he actually pulled it off. Halle Berry looks hot with the short hair and Kelsey Grammer as Beast looks pretty cool. But trailers have tricked me before. I was first in line to see Jeepers Creepers, so I may not be best judge.

Here's Halle last month at the Harvard Hasty Pudding Awards:


There's a cleaner version of the trailer here. Thanks, Andrew!