• Vida Guerra: Classy as ever [Hollywood Tuna]
• Kate Moss is a high class drug smuggler [Hollywood Rag]
• Oh, hell to tha no. Bobby Brown is arrested again [Popsugar]
• This won an Oscar?!? [City Rag]
  
• Brad and Angelina's matching rings [A Socialite's Life]
• Steve-O : Classy as ever [D Listed]
• Jake Gyllenhaal is an ass [Egotastic]
• Claudia Schiffer is pregnant again [Just Jared]
  
• Classic SNL: Farley as motivational speaker "Matt Foley" [Smit Happens]
• Classic Saved By the Bell: Don't fuck with AC Slater [College Humor]
• Jesse Jane sure looks a lot like Jaime Pressly (NSFW) [Daily Niner]
  

The polluted with crap music industry would not be complete without the contribution of a group of strippers burlesque dancers turned pop stars by the name of The Pussycat Dolls. With such fabulous chart toppers as "Don't Cha", "Stickwitu", "Buttons" and "Beep" their musical genius knows no bounds. Here they are at a performance a few months ago and a couple of them were falling out of their clothes. So, that's basically the only reason why I'm bothering with a post about them. Keep in mind, most of these pictures are not safe for work. The blonde girl is peeking out of her shorts and the redheaded girl(?) is falling out of her(?) shirt. Another warning ... do you remember that scene in Ghostbusters when they got too close to the ghost in the library and she turned into a scary monster? Yeah, well, a few of these pictures are kinda like that.

Last month, Star Magazine reported that Jessica Simpson and Jude Law spent a wild and noisy night at the Chateau Marmont hotel. This week's issue says Jessica is "being deluged by a flood of e-mails, phone calls and text messages" from Jude.

A friend of Simpson says, "Jude is telling Jess that he 'hungers for her' and that he goes to sleep 'dreaming about her lips, her smell and her laugh'. It's a little corny, but Jessica is loving it."

I know Jessica Simpson is dumb, but somebody really needs to fit her for a helmet at this point. Loving the thought of Jude Law's sexual advances is like being flattered because a dog wants to hump your leg. Jude and his ex-wife, Sadie Frost, were swingers. He cheated on Sienna Miller with nanny, Daisy Wright. Jude Law will screw anything at any time. On the other hand, I guess bending Jessica over while he winks at CaCee Cobb is less creepy than Jessica blowing Papa Joe. So, hey, good work Jessica!

Kate Bosworth is such a tease. How dare she prevent some sort of hi-res camera flashy, x-ray vision reveal, or a nip slip, by doing whatever superglued to the boobies fabric magic she did at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party. When I first saw the design and color of this dress, I couldn't help but be reminded of one of the Yip-Yip Martians from Sesame Street. She looks like she could tuck her head and torso in that dress if anything scares her. I dare you to try and find a hotter Sesame Street Martian than Kate Bosworth, though. Yip-yip, uh huh, that's right ... I didn't think so.


Just for fun here's the classic 'Yip-Yips Meet the Telephone' video.

Why did Naomi Watt's wear this shredded snot rag to the Oscars? She looks like she was either caught in a fisherman's net, or she dug up some lady's grave with a headstone dated somewhere around the 1800s and stole the corpse's dress. I think Naomi needs to stay the hell away from those The Ring movies because they're starting to mess with her head. Mine, too. That sequel was horrible. Her stylist probably saw it and thought this dress would be the best revenge to pay her back for the wasted two hours of her life. Whatever. Now I have a craving for seafood.

Page Six is spreading a vicious rumor that my beloved Keira Knightley is dating Jake Gyllenhaal after the two met recently.

OSCAR season always brings out young love. Jake Gyllenhaal, single since his split with Kirsten Dunst last year, was "getting cozy" with fellow Oscar nominee Keira Knightley in L.A. in the days leading up to the ceremony. "They were at Soho House two nights in a row together and definitely looked like a couple," snitched our spy.

Jake Gyllenhaal's publicist needs an Oscar for what he is trying to pull off. Last month, Jake was photographed at a Lakers game basically sitting in Austin Nichols' lap, but we always manage to hear "stories" that he is punching one piece of high quality Hollywood kitty after the other. Normally, a big Hollywood star like Jake would be stalked by paparazzi, yet we have never seen a picture of him with any of these women. Either he's The Phantom or he's gay. And since The Phantom liked women, that kinda rules him out.

Note: Trolls are not considered "high quality Hollywood kitty," so Kirsten Dunst does not qualify.

• Adam Sandler gets serious [Just Jared]
• Alyssa Milano inked and vamped at an Oscar party [Hollywood Rag]
• Kate Moss was a hard core coke snorter [A Socialite's Life]
• Parrot Hilton [City Rag]
• Sharon Stone is ridiculous [Popsugar]
• Avril Lavigne must have one hell of an agent [Egotastic]
• Nice nipple tape, Pam Anderson. Why bother? [Hollywood Tuna]
• Natalie Portman raps on Saturday Night Live [D Listed]
• "Best Picture, My Ass" (Crash) [Pajiba]
• The Real Life Simpsons (video, great stuff) [College Humor]
• Crash the Oscars, go to jail [TMZ]
• Classic SNL: William Shatner at a Star Trek convention [Gorilla Mask]
  

Here is the video of Jennifer Garner nearly busting her ass while walking out to present the Oscar for Achievment in Sound Editing. Her tits in that dress should've won for Achievement in Causing Painful Erections. I realize they are probably full of milk, but my God, they looked spectacular. All I need now is her address, a cot and some graham crackers.