The Sun has released pictures of Pete Doherty injecting heroin into a female fan's arm as she lay unconscious on the kitchen floor. A second picture shows Doherty injecting himself. These pictures are allegedly less than five weeks old and are just another episode in Doherty's trouble with drugs and the law. Last Friday, he was released on bail on suspicion of drug possession. He was arrested just three hours after a magistrate did not sentence him to jail for a previous drug possession charge.

Okay, so can someone please explain to me why this lunatic isn't being forced to taste test penises in prison for the rest of his life? Not for being a deranged drug addict, but for wasting all that heroin. Take it from me, when girls are already unconscious, they'll always say yes.

Update: London's Metropolitan Police Force say they will be investigating these photographs. For what, I'm not really sure. I guess a drug addict sticking a needle in an unconscious girl's arm could be anything.

Thanks to John for the tip!

Natalie Portman is currently leading the polls to be named PETA's World's Sexiest Vegetarian 2006. The actress, who has not eaten meat in 16 years, is a strict vegetarian who refuses to eat meat byproducts, such as gelatin, as well. The winners of the competition, for both men and women, will be announced in May. Coldplay's, Chris Martin, and American Idol's, Carrie Underwood, were last year's winners.

I think being a vegetarian is noble, but obviously we'd all like to see me help Natalie rediscover meat. I'd take it slow of course, but she's going to have to work a little bit if she wants some gravy.

These pictures are not new but they feature a very NSFW nipple slip, I hadn't seen before today, so they're going up - along with other things:

Cindy Margolis has finally agreed to pose for Playboy after Hef practically begged her for several years. The 40 year old mother of three and the "Most Downloaded Woman on the Internet" cites Desperate Housewives as her inspiration to pose for the magazine. She says:

Thank goodness for 'Desperate Housewives.' You're not dead just because you are married and have children. In the past it would have been for gratuitous reasons. It will be fun to go up against the 20-year-olds and show them that they don't have anything on me."

The only person who is married and has kids on that show in real life is Felicity Huffman, so a make believe TV show is a better excuse for getting naked other than just getting naked I guess. Not that I'm complaining, because I've been waiting to see her boobs for years. Gratuitousness has its place, especially when you go door to door and give out free breast exams. But apparently when you wear a ski mask, girls get all uppity and spray you with mace.


In case you were wondering what Cindy Margolis looked like before all that plastic surgery, here you go:


Source and more at Good Plastic Surgery.

• Denise Richards is dead to Heather Locklear [A Socialite's Life]
• Vivica and Tisha: plastic surgery nightmares [Hollywood Rag]
• Sienna Miller: still stupid [Egotastic]
• Hollywood's body double secrets revealed [City Rag]
• No, Nicole Kidman didn't wish Katie well [Popsugar]
• Victoria's Secret models selling it [Hollywood Tuna]
• Britney's shopping for a new nanny [D Listed]
• Brad makes Angelina giggle [Just Jared]
• Insane preacher + local cable access = gold [College Humor]
• Tom Cruise's Nike commercial [Best Week Ever]
• Chris Rock's baby mama drama [Save Manny]
• "...But I Did Just Crap My Pants..." (Silent Hill) [Pajiba]
• Exclusive interview with Sean Preston Spears [Cracked]
• The Man Show's "Worst Jobs in America" [Daily Sixer]
  

Paris Hilton is allegedly addicted to gambling and was dumb enough to bet her Bentley Continental GT with an estimated worth of around $150,000 (which she let her boyfriend drive drunk and crash) and lose it during a poker game. So now she's driving this Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren which is estimated to be worth over $400,000. Never mind that piece of crap Ferrari parked next to you, Paris. Just go ahead and scrape your boney ass all over his paint and scuff up his wheels with your flip flops while you look stupid trying to work the door. I'm sure he won't mind. You know what else he won't mind? Use your keys to etch a note on his hood which reads, "I'm richer than you, and your mom is sluttier than me. Love, Paris Hilton." I think it's Ice Cube's car, but he has a really good sense of humor, and he was walking around today saying today was a good day, and he didn't even have to use his AK. You're a bettin' woman. Go for it, Paris!

They say hell hath no fury like a man talking to voicemail, and Denise Richards seems to have received the blunt end of this age old axiom several times. Not content just to call Charlie Sheen a psychotic sexual deviant, Richards has also released transcripts of six voicemails from Charlie Sheen (see images below). I'm not sure what the big deal is really. Calling your wife "dickface" was probably hurtful in 1986, but now it just seems like a term of endearment. Really, what says I love you more than, "you're a piece of shit liar and I hope you fucking rot in hell?"


Source: The Smoking Gun

What's better than Kevin's scuzzy wife beater which highlights his muffin tops so well? It's my favorite person in that audience who deserves praise for her eloquence albeit with one single hand gesture. Normally I would chastise someone like her for showing up at that event, but it's obvious she was there as a public service. She's leading by example, people. If you're face to face with K-Fed, you let that itchy middle finger extend and you wave it with chutzpah! Hell, even paint it or draw a funny face on it. Stick a flag on it. Personalize it however you want. I couldn't wait until I saw him in person so I typed this whole thing one handed and flipped off this picture with the other. Oh, and in case you were wondering, I put a long blonde wig, a red cape and drew boobies on my middle finger. It's my idea. Get your own.

Brad and Jen appear to have maintained a strong professional relationship. According to sources, Brad Pitt wants his ex-wife to star in the upcoming film, The Senator's Wife. The film, which is being produced by Brad's production company, Plan B Productions, was specifically developed with Jen in mind. A source says,

Brad's invested a lot of time tailoring the movie to Jen's strengths as an actress, but she's not sure what to do...it would drive her nuts if she pulled out of the film, Angelina Jolie got the part - and it turned into something great...Brad wants another chance to convince Jen and, through their managers, he's gotten the message to her. They're currently working out a time to have a conversation."

Either this is total crap or Brad Pitt must be trying to lose money and exploit some tax loophole, because the only way Jennifer Aniston is going to make a film any money is if she's bent over on a table and there are 30 naked guys lined up in Ross Geller masks waiting for their turn. I would rather go camping with Ricky Martin than go see another Aniston film. At least I won't have to sneak out in shame after the climax. Wait. That didn't come out right.

Here's Brad and his new family in the Namibian desert:

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Update: In our continuing support of futile endeavors and to assist the alleged owner of these "magazine scans" in putting the shit back in the horse, we have removed the scans as per their friendly request. But if you're looking for the magazine scans of Brad and Angelina posing in the Namibian desert, then you can find them on the 500,000+ other websites who have them.