• I can hear Tom Cruise's stupid, creepy laugh [Hollywood Rag]
• Charlize is lookin' mighty cute in them jeans [Hollywood Tuna]
• Hayden Christensen is probably gay [D Listed]
• Cristiano Ronaldo's rubs his thong wearing hottie [Just Jared]
• Pacino joins the Ocean's 13 cast [Popsugar]
• Mariah Carey still trying too hard to be sexy [Egotastic]
• Charlie Sheen probably murdered this woman [A Socialite's Life]
• Sales rep publicly shames Barbra Streisand [City Rag]
• Kirk Cameron, bananas and God [College Humor]
• Carmen Electra in Playboy (NSFW) [Daily Niner]
  

US Weekly is reporting (what I already told you last month, ahem) it's been pretty much confirmed that Britney Spears is pregnant again.

Britney Spears, 24, couldn't hide her pregnancy any longer when she showed up poolside at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas this weekend, sporting a red bikini and a serious bump. The singer is expecting her second child with husband Kevin Federline, 28, sources have confirmed to Us.

I haven't seen any pictures of her in this red bikini yet, but I'm guessing she doesn't look much different than she did in these recent pictures:


Or these recent pictures:
Or these recent pictures:
Or this:
Or this:

But I'll post the new pictures when I find them.

What the hell is going on here? Why is "Rap's MVP" (a.k.a. The Game) hanging out at Ed Hardy with Tool Madden from Good Toilette signing autographs and mugging for photos? This isn't the thug I remember from the "Hate It Or Love It" video. You can't go from this picture to this picture in the same sitting and expect me to still be afraid of you, The Game. A dude like you is supposed to push that dork out of the shot before the photog snaps that photo so your friends, like 50 Cent for example, don't find out about this. Okay, you're still kinda scary, so if you ever do find out I posted these photos and made fun of you, my name is Kevin Federline, and, yeah, I called you a bitch.

• Ashton Kutcher's Punk'd failures are better than the rest [City Rag]
• Denise Richards caught making out with Richie Sambora [Hollywood Rag]
• Halle Berry has more sex [Egotastic]
• Lindsay Lohan shouldn't be allowed to dress herself [Hollywood Tuna]
• Tom Cruise trying to sell MI3, and generally being a douche [Just Jared]
• Kirsten Dunst: still fugly [A Socialite's Life]
• Paris Hilton's mom is grossing me out [D Listed]
• Mischa Barton and Nicole Richie: BFF waifs [Popsugar]
  

In case you need it, there might be more proof that Britney's relationship with K-Fed is on the rocks. According to reports, Britney did not attend her hubby's much hyped record listening party at Pure nightclub in the Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas. The couple and their baby, seven month old Sean Preston, arrived in Las Vegas, but they had a heated argument in a casino restaurant, and Britney went to her suite visibly upset. Not that he cared, because K-Fed proceeded to party until dawn. He was introduced by Kathy Hilton and peformed two songs from his upcoming Playing With Fire album.

Whether Britney cried herself to sleep or hanged herself by her hair extensions, I don't know, nor do I care. The only thing I know for sure is that the best place for a seven month old with a recent head trauma is in a casino. Why don't they just drive out to the desert and drop the kid off? He'd probably have a better chance of reaching the first grade.

Some pictures from the show:

In a sworn declaration filed in Los Angeles Superior Court on Friday, Denise Richards claims that Charlie Sheen is an unstable sociopath who is addicted to gambling and prostitutes. Richards also charges that Sheen requested she have an abortion with their first child, and that he assaulted her in her Los Angeles home in front of their children on December 30. In the document, she details that Sheen told her she was "fucking with the wrong guy" and after pushing her to the floor he screamed, "I hope you fucking die, bitch." However, the most shocking claim is that Charlie Sheen regularly surfed child pornography sites and belonged to several online dating services for the strict purpose of having sex.

[Denise] contends that Sheen "belonged" to "disturbing" sites "which promoted very young girls, who looked underage to me with pigtails, braces, and no pubic hair performing oral sex with each other." Other sites visited by Sheen, Richards alleges, involved "gay pornography also involving very young men who also did not look like adults........Sheen "belonged to several sex search type sites" on which he "looked for women to have sex with." His online profile, Richards adds, included a photo of "his erect penis."

When your potential husband whose ex-girlfriend was a porn star (Ginger Lynn) and made plans to fake her death or when he shoots his previous fiancee (Kelly Preston), you should immediately get married and have children. They also believe that being charged five times for drug possession and once paying $15,000 for a blowjob, is a sign of his maturity. It's okay to love him despite his faults, but don't be surprised on your honeymoon when the Russian hooker gets broken and the phrase "bring out the gimp" comes up.

Note: Just to raise the creepiness factor - these allegations come just two months after Charlie Sheen released a children's clothing line.

For those of you sitting on pins and needles wondering when we were gonna get around to posting some Kimberly Stewart bikini pictures, today is your lucky day. If the lesions on her body are any indication, you might want to go ahead and masturbate to these now. Either those are fake tattoos she uses to draw attention away from her face and her condescendingly flat ass, or the AZT shots aren't working. I can't imagine the self-loathing it would take to get an erection from looking at these, but I once got one while using a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser, so I'm not here to judge you.


And here she is last summer in case you missed it:

Victoria's Secret model and Leonardo DiCaprio's girlfriend, Bar Refaeli, has caused quite a stir in her native Israel over claims that she is a draft dodger. In Israel, all women ages 18-20 must enlist with the army unless they are "ultra-religious, physically disabled or married." Refaeli was secretly married in 2004, one week before she was due to report for active duty. A family friend says:

Everyone knows why she got married. It doesn't take a genius to work it out."

The Israeli government's enlistment provisos sound eerily familiar to my MySpace "what I don't like in a girl" survey, so now that she's not married, I really need to marry her or at least have sex with her. Leonardo is probably just a bump in the road, because now that she has a marriage and a draft dodging scandal behind her, her political career is sure to take off.