• Hilary Duff and that other dork broke up [Hollywood Rag]
• Lucy Pinder plasters Michelle Marsh's breasts [Hollywood Tuna]
• Sly Stallone talks about not fucking [Dlisted]
• Bruce Willis demands root beer [City Rag]
• Sienna Miller is still trying hard to be famous [Egotastic]
• Ricky Martin is still trying hard to be famous [Just Jared]
• Paris Hilton is Britney's new nanny [A Socialite's Life]
• Nick Lachey is thankful he's not with Jessica [Popsugar]
• OHIO STATE!!! [College Humor]
• You're Gonna Be a Funny Little Footnote on My Epic Ass! [Pajiba]
  
• Fabian Basabe is a drunk driving douche [Best Week Ever]
  
• Heidi Klum gave birth again [Celeb News Wire]

Paris Hilton's hired mouthpiece has bent over and opened wide to explain Paris and Britney's new relationship.

...according to Paris' rep, Elliott Mintz, it's more than just a passing fancy. He tells TMZ that the two are "really forming a bond" and that they're "becoming like sisters." Mintz says that the 24-year-old Spears "looks up to" the 25-year-old Paris and that she's "extremely grateful" that Paris has taken her under her wing. Britney's new post-K-Fed look -- the barely-there skirts, the cleavage-baring tops -- has been "inspired" by Paris, says Mintz."

No need to state the obvious there, Mintz. Britney is barely five feet tall and Paris is a Brachiosaurus. Of course Britney "looks up" to Paris. Britney should be "extremely grateful" Paris is giving her a personal whoring lesson. Most of us spend months reading and re-reading "I Wanna Be a Ho" by Velvet Jones hoping we can be at least half the ho Paris is. But in less than a week with Paris, Britney has partied without pants, flashed her panties, flashed her naked beaver, flashed her ass, adopted a used ghetto swap meet hair weave she found in Paris' trash can and had an obligatory, staged, public "fight" with Lindsay Lohan. So Britney moved from leeching Madonna's career to leeching Paris' "career." At this rate, Britney's sex tape brought to you by the Wayans brothers and National Geographic should be coming soon to a computer screen near you.

More pictures from last night:


Source

Just for fun, NSFW Paris Hilton reflection:

Paris beaver flash.
Paris butt flap flash.
Another Paris butt flash.
Another Paris butt flap flash.
Yet another Paris butt flap flash.
Yet another Paris Hilton beaver flash.

The 2006 AMAs were so far on the cutting edge of music that The Black Eyed Peas and Kelly Clarkson were your big winners. Awesome. I didn't know they had categories for not being able to rhyme and eating cake. Too bad I missed it!


Britney Spears was the presenter last night of the Best Female Soul/R&B artist award and her boobs. Man, she sure is laying it on a little thick lately. She's only been spotted in drive-thrus the last three years and now she's everywhere. When asked why he couldn't attend, Kevin Federline said he read the bus schedule wrong.


Ashlee Simpson came as a raccoon. For about two seconds a couple of months ago I thought she was getting hot, but there are still too many things wrong with her face. It doesn't help that her plastic surgeon needs Michael J. Fox to help him keep his hand steady.


Seriously, Paris Hilton should just go ahead and get an eye patch.


Dude, JoJo is 15. Calm down. I know her handlers tried to hussy her up as best as they could, but it's hard to be sexy when you still have your baby teeth. Better luck next time, honey.


I've tried to give Nelly Furtado the benefit of the doubt because so many people like her, but she always looks like she's about to go trick or treating. Nice look, darling. I've seen better wigs on cancer patients.

Ashlee Simpson and Taye Diggs were seen on what appeared to be a date in New York last week. Page Six reports:

Taye Diggs, who married his "Rent" co-star in 2003, was spotted "cheek to cheek" with Ashlee Simpson at G Spa last week. They took tequila shots and were intimately whispering and intertwining arms for a half hour. A rep for Simpson says she and Diggs are "just friends."

Yikes. First, his beloved Jessica is desperately trolling for dudes online, now Ashlee is slinging it out of both pant legs to a married black guy. Tell me Papa Joe, where is your God now?

Wow, dressing like a 1980s coke whore is never a good idea. Michelle Pfeiffer couldn't even pull it off in Scarface. And comparing a 1980s Michelle Pfieffer to a 2006 Gwen Stefani is like comparing an Aston Martin to a wagon being pulled by a turtle. Jesus, Gwen looks fucking ridiculous. Gavin Rossdale is only smiling because he's crying on the inside.


Carmen Electra showed up looking like a gorgeous Fergie. In short, she looked awful. These are probably the worst pictures I've ever seen of Carmen Electra, which is pretty good since there are twenty billion pictures of her online. Not so much for Fergie. Trying to find a good picture of her is like trying to find a body buried under a lake.


Carrie Underwood's outfit may need a lot of things, but what it doesn't need is under wire. There shouldn't be three feet between your boobs and your dress when you're wearing it. I could tape gummy LifeSavers to my chest and fill out a dress better than Carrie Underwood.


Beyonce always looks the same. Never that good and never that bad. If you were really hungry, Beyonce would be a gas station hot dog. She's pretty I guess. I mean, I'd masturbate to her, but only if I didn't have to run any errands or finish any laundry.

Keira Knightley and actor Rupert Friend are engaged and will be married in an Italian castle next year. The news broke at a Lindsay Lohan party Friday night where Keira couldn't seem to shut up about it. A source says:

She looked radiant and seemed to want the world to know that she and Rupert had got engaged. She was kissing and cuddling him all night. They were with six friends and were obviously in a celebratory mood after getting through five bottles of Dom Perignon. Keira couldn't stop giggling. She even told the waiter: 'Please get my husband a drink.' Even her girlfriends referred to him as her future husband."

Even after five bottles of Dom Perignon, Rupert Friend would still look like a homeless meth addict, so yeah, congratulations. I guess this means I won't be sending Keira any more letters. Okay, I will, but I'm not spraying cologne on them or delivering by dove from now on. Don't even bother crawling back, because I've moved on, sister!

Possibly NSFW:


Source

• K-Fed's attorney is lying for him [Hollywood Rag]
• Madonna might take another one home [Popsugar]
• Orlando Bloom is gross [Egotastic]
• Blohan goes on and on [Dlisted]
• Gwen Stefani goes bald [City Rag]
• Nicole Richie is still skinny [Just Jared]
• Jessica Alba is the sexiest subsitute [Hollywood Tuna]
  
• Leo DiCaprio, the hero [A Socialite's Life]
• Super sloppy Thanksgiving (video) [College Humor]
• The Kid's Got Alligator Blood (Casino Royale) [Pajiba]
  

Here are more pictures from Britney's night out at Tao in Las Vegas. She couldn't even win a consolation prize in a dog show with that "hair." The back of her head looks like roadkill. She's not "back," people. She never left. And here she is again. Chain smoking. And partying. With Paris Hilton. And without pants.


Image source: Splash News Online

Tags: upskirt, vagina, crotch, britney spears